The official meme for Rick Perry will be "Not Another Cowboy". This label has been used before with Raygun and Boosh without much success, but this time things will be different, because we will say it really loud and often.
There aren't any Perry cowboy jokes yet, but there's still time. Here's what I found so far, but it's bland and too generic to hurt him. We need something more deadly.
"It turns out that Texas Gov. Rick Perry got a D in Principles of Economics. So he can't be president, but he can get a job on President Obama's economic team." –Jay Leno
"Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God told him to run; now his wife is telling him to run. Of course, the big difference; if you ignore what God says you don't have to hear about it until the afterlife. That's the only difference." –Jay Leno
"Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that god is calling on her to run for President. You know, if God is that indecisive, he's probably for Mitt Romney." –Jay Leno
"In a new videotape message, Texas Gov. Rick Perry urges his supporters to follow him on 'Tweeter.' After hearing about it, John McCain laughed and said, “What an idiot! It's 'The Tweeter.''" –Conan O'Brien
"A spokesman for Texas Gov. Rick Perry says there's a 50/50 chance he'll run for president. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin says there's an 80/50 chance she'll run for president." –Conan O'Brien
Rick Perry is a lousy f**k and I hate him. He's a stupid liar who's bad and dangerous for America. Mark my words, he'll take us straight back to the decade of greed and big hair and ABC Novels for Television. I predict a reboot of Dallas that shows J.R. and Bobby et al as beer-swilling, oil-guzzling teenagers in a big pickup truck terrorizing black folks. Just like Rick Perry and George W. Bush did.
Speaking of George W. Bush, what he didn't destroy--and you'd think he'd destroyed everything, but he's so stupid that he's certain to have overlooked something--and whatever that is, Rick Perry will demolish it. Rick Perry will finish anything George W. Bush started and make it even worse.
Rick Perry is a stupid lying traitor who will end civilization as we know it. If, in spite of his total idiocy, he gets away with stealing the presidency, old people will be falling off cliffs everywhere. Mass starvation and homelessness and joblessness will be everywhere as we are forced to live in cardboard "Perryvilles."
I hate Rick Perry because no thanks to him, the planet will relapse from its healing of the past few years, and the oceans will rise again.
Rick Perry hates old people, children, immigrants, puppies, kittens, bunny rabbits, ladybugs, fluffy baby chicks that go cheep-cheep, and fluffy yellow ducklings that go quack-quack. He abhors science. He likes barbecue because the sauce dripping down his chin reminds him of blood. He loves his God and guns, as well as gas, oil, and corporate jet owners.
Rick Perry comes from the same state that gave us George W. Bush and the Chainsaw Massacre. Watch that movie and you'll get an idea of just what he intends to do with our sacred entitlement programs that make America great.
If Rick Perry is allowed to get away with stealing the Presidency from Obama, rest assured he will proclaim himself dictator and say stupid things like letting people keep more of their own money when they're only going to spend it on themselves and not others is somehow patriotic.
We will all be living in fear of our lives because of his bloodthirsty tyranny.
If Rick Perry usurps the White House, I will move to England where this past week we saw evidence of a robust democracy in action. That's infinitely preferable to living in a country where everyone is being held hostage by those terrorists in the Tea Party.
That's all I have to say for now. Oh wait, one more thing . . . Rick Perry is just like Hitler.
OK, THAT's all I have to say for now. I may be back later as I think up more reasons to hate Rick Perry. I may even start a blog like Andrew Yu-Jen Wang.
Miss Pinkie, please see my post of the sleeper cell being reactivated. Comrade Perry is of the Party, and an agent of hope and change who worked to elect Comrade Gore. It's on the Peoples source of documented truth, Wikipedia. Comrade Perry will serve Dear Leader (PBUH) as his predecessor Ross Perot served MTE's husband's campaign. Have trust in this.
Tovarichi, you'd have to be as stupid as Rick Perry himself to believe any of his lies. Any lackwit with half his brain shoved up his own ass will tell you that Rick Perry deliberately sabotaged Al Gore's campaign in a desperate bid to halt Gore's agenda to save the planet from Global Warming. Why, you don't even have to think about it to realize that it makes perfect sense!
No thanks to Perry's treachery, for the past ten years the warming of the planet has accelerated at an alarming rate, resulting in the deaths of millions of polar bears. If you allow this stupid liar to take over the White House, then you can kiss the the Snows of Kilamanjaro AND the oceans goodbye. Because they'll all be gone in ten years.
Don't believe me? Well, The Party's been saying it for forty years now, so there must be something to it.
It...it was on the Internet. It has to be true. It has to! The Party would not allow falsehoods on Al Gore's internet. It was on Wikipedia! It is TRUTH!
You damage my self esteem by denying the diversity of my opinion. I feel marginalized.
Perry also hated on a coyote with his .380 ACP while on a jog in the Austin area.
Capitalist pigs exploited the card-carrying communist coyote. Someone should put a cross up where the coyote bit the dust. No wait, there is no God. I keep forgetting. Please don't revoke my Vodka Kard.... again.
Latest poll has some people concerned. They apparently did not believe Big O's base would erode to a number below 42 % or so. Apparently it's down to around 38 or 39, so I hear.
Rick Perry cannot defeat Obama and for the GOP to choose him as their nominee would basically give President O another term instantly. If I were the Republicans, I would find a nominee who is electable and who can connect with the vast majority of Americans who are progressive-minded urbanites who drink boxed white wine while discussing their intimate sexual proclivities at Obama for America house parties. So what would the perfect and electable GOP candidate look like?
Well, This GOP candidate, the all appealing candidate, would of course be of the Northeastern variety, have a fabulous pants crease, perhaps be a slightly older gentleman, and would have attended all the right schools. Our Republican candidate would also be soft-spoken, thin, and somewhat awkward. We can attribute this awkwardness to perhaps his trouble talking with girls when he was a young man or perhaps a period of gender-confusion when he was a student at St. Paul's, Andover, Exeter or even Eton where such confusion is rampant.
The perfect GOP candidate would also have absolutely zero military experience and/or business experience. Would our candidate have been a governor or executive? No, absolutely not -- if anything he would have been a state legislator or a fast-talking trial lawyer. Public service is a stepping stone for *greater* things and Daddy's money saw that the perfect GOP candidate won his race for office or greased the palm of a judge.
The perfect GOP candidate would also be a lasciviousness man with a number of lovers -- some foreign -- who would make no bones about writing a tell-all book, or Newsweek article, that highlights every dirty little secret. These women would always be fat, working-class single mothers who were bought by the privileged electable GOP candidate. The women, and maybe a Puerto Rican man or two, would always -- always! -- sit down to interviews with major news outlets to share their stories of heartbreak and exploitation at the hands of the perfect GOP candidate.
The perfect GOP candidate would also work across the aisle to get the right legislation done that it is good for the country. He would work tirelessly to ensure that both Democrats and moderate Democrats get what they want in Congress in an effort to bring the country together. This candidate would have many, many legislative accomplishments under his belt that advanced the Democratic agenda.
If you want to win 2012, Republicans, the above is but a starting point in finding the right candidate for your racist, teabaggin' little hate-fest of a party. Obama will be tough to beat and just another swaggerin' tough talkin' Texan will not appeal to the all important dependents, er, independents who decide these elections.
Tovarichi wrote:It...it was on the Internet. It has to be true. It has to! The Party would not allow falsehoods on Al Gore's internet. It was on Wikipedia! It is TRUTH!
You damage my self esteem by denying the diversity of my opinion. I feel marginalized.
Ahhh! Tovarichi.... You are begining to feel the essential nature of CURRENTruth.
It appears the editorial staff (et al) at the Wash-your-mouth-out Times desires to relocate in Paul Klugman's Kenyesan Memorial Subterranean Housing Facility...
Already Perry apologists are trying to whitewash his shoddy record in Texas, where all the good economic news can be attributed only to the Stimulus money provided by Barrak the Benevolent. Behold!
Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:I just wish those damened Texicans would go ahead an secede and stop pumping out Neo-Kon RethugliKKKan Presidential Candidates.
Then we could nuke them all and redistribute their electoral votes among the Blue States!
Alas Comrade Raum....
There are many Fellow travelers in the vicinity of San Antonio and Austin and their loss (though perhaps for the greater good) would be a shame.
May I suggest we task our great industrial might and technological machine towards creating a "virus" that would selectively "remove" those right-of-center cretins. Better yet we could name the malady something that would not be covered by the upcoming Health(@#$%^@!!)Care bill, or make it something that the DEATHPANEL Mother Teresa Group of Nurturing for the Greater Good could withhold treatment for?
The official meme for Rick Perry will be "Not Another Cowboy". This label has been used before with Raygun and Boosh without much success, but this time things will be different, because we will say it really loud and often.
Hahaha...... really lolzzzzzzzzzzz....
You guys are very harsh to this man. hahaha..... I have got some funny here Rick Perry. However good sense of hummer!
Here I always thought The People's Cube was a safe place for progs like me. A haven from the rightwing hate speech spewed everywhere I turn these days. We have such a nice little community of people who want only to raise awareness of how much they care about calling attention to the need to do something that will make the world a better, fairer place for all.
And then you have to come along and spoil it with your gung-ho, gun-whore cowboy spam.
You, sir, are a racist, because you worship a man who would camp at a place that has a hateful, hurtful word painted on a rock. I don't know what could be worse than that, unless it's Newt Gingrich saying kids should be put to work mopping floors so they can learn the value of a work ethic and earning a dollar and all that other capitalist craptrap, when that's clearly child abuse, straight up.
You want to raise your kids to be good citizens, then you take them to Occupy encampments so they can see what democracy looks like. You want to raise your kids to be good citizens, then you take them to Republican book signings and Republican rallies, and you tell them to tell Michele Bachmann not to fix their lesbian mommy, or to ask your hero Rick Perry, on whom you have such a big crush, why he hates science so much.
You disgust me. Yes, you, Politejay, the President for Life of the International I Love Rick Perry 4-Ever and Ever Fan Club.
You are a loser who loves a loser! Loser! LOOOO-ser!
Oh wow, gee whiz, looky here! What more proof does anyone need of Rick Perry's utter stupidity and total lack of fitness to be leader of the free world?
Republican presidential hopeful Rick Perry is correcting himself after saying
the US is at war in Iran instead of Iraq.
At a campaign stop Thursday in
South Carolina, a woman asked the Texas governor his views on current U.S.
military operations and how they compare to the nation's role in World War II.
Perry began the answer by talking about Iran and Afghanistan before someone
in the audience interrupted him. The Texas governor quickly realized he
misspoke, joking that the comment "will be on the front page."
He joked. He JOKED! The moron can't tell Iran from Iraq, and he thinks it's a joke!
Comrades, is this who we want taking that 3 am phone call? Can we trust him to give orders to bomb the correct country? Because as a cowboy Republican, he WILL want to bomb some country, somewhere, for some stupid reason (as if Republicans ever have any other kind of reason for anything)!
The answer, of course, is a big fat NO FREAKIN' WAY!!!
I am ever so grateful that the Associated Press is on top of this, looking out for all of us. Yikes! If not for this valuable, newsworthy nugget, I might have actually thought about supporting this guy—assuming, of course, that I'm as stupid as he is, because that's what a person would have to be to vote for him. Sheesh, Politejay! No wonder you can't get a girlfriend and you're reduced to hiding out in your mom's basement, with nothing to do all day except blog about how you think Rick Perry is such a hootin' hunkalicious dreamboat!
What do you have to say for your BFF now, Politejay, huh?
This PoliteJay is on the board one day, ONE DAY and has Pinkie's crosshairs right on his head... poor slob. Welcome to the Cube, Komrade!... a bit of advice--be brief, and Don't piss off the lady with the Golden Shovel.
Comrades, do you think I scared him off? Why hasn't he come back to defend the honor of his superhero, Rick Perry?
You'd think someone as stupid as a Rick Perry supporter--someone as stupid as Rick Perry, who in turn is just about as stupid as George W. Bush, if you can believe that--would at least hang around long enough to get whacked upside the head with my shovel!
And if that's not enough, he didn't even try to flirt with me! Not that he'll get anywhere, since I've taken the pledge to never have sex with Republicans, but you'd think someone as desperate as he must be would at least try asking me if I'm doing anything Saturday night. Honestly, what's the problem?
It's not as if I've never been able to attract losers before.
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Welcome to the Cube, Komrade!... a bit of advice--be brief, and Don't piss off the lady with the Golden Shovel. 
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