Comrades,

It is with pleasure to announce that your hard earned party member dues that helps to fund The People's Navy has once again been used wisely. Following the example of President Obama who is also judiciously tight with the public purse and only uses tax dollars to subsidize wildly successful Eco ventures such as the Chevy Volt, The People's Navy has endeavored to emulate his success and follow his lead.

After becoming aware that the world's Cork oak forest located in Spain and in Portugal was being over harvested and in danger of becoming extinct, researchers floated an idea to The People's Navy to help turn the tide. Brilliant in its simplicity in replacing cork as the preferred material of choice in the manufacture of this product, with an Eco-friendly gas that does not deplete the ozone layer, this will dramatically lessen the demand for cork worldwide.

The People's Navy was immediately sold on the idea and began spending party member dues money to manufacture this most worthy product for this cause. It is anticipated that much like the Chevy Volt this new innovation will really catch fire with the public and all costs from party coffers will be replenished in no time. It is with pride to unveil the..........

Another triumph of the brilliant technocrats of the People's Navy, the same minds who gave the world screen doors for submarines! Innovations such as this will once and for all deflate the idea that central planning doesn't work!

And don't forget, comrades, that we must make it really big!!! The bigger the inflatable dartboard is, the longer it will take for the customers to notice a leak. That is why everything built under socialism must be of gigantic proportions.

We have already succeeded in utilizing Party member dues money to eliminate wood and metal in manufacturing hammers! At our People's Co-op, we are making hammers out of glass! The savings are amazing. Glass is made of sand, comrades, and sand is dirt-cheap!

People who use glass hammers should not pound stones ... just sayin'.

But just a thought on environmental consciousness, boats are very hard to recycle. If they were to be water soluble from biodegradable material? I think this is worth a shot and deserves major government funding. We could call it DISOLVYNDRA maybe. Promise to hire many people and donate heavily to the DFL.