Komrades!!!

Due to a dreadful oversight at Newspeak Magazine, the Ministry of Dry Goods announces a fresh supply of Toilet Paper (provided one does not use peculiar, select pages--lest one find one's self in a DHS Resettlement Facility…and you all know the pages to which I refer).

So, queue up now! Several palettes are due to arrive soon at a Dry Goods Outlet nearest you.

You may rest assured that the responsible subversives at Newspeak will soon come to understand the error of their way -- albeit too late.

...BTW...Are there any of you on the Cube in need of a new liver, kidney or other some such organ... we are about to provide a fresh supply of these, too!!!

FORWARD!!!

Ever since the Sears catalog became a shadow of its former self we have shut down the outhouse and retreated indoors. The selfish waste of water has us guilt ridden so we only flush once each weak. Brown is the new green.

good ,good, bumm is in need of wipeing

The bum-wipe continues:

‘Obama:' The Greatest Fraud Ever Perpetrated:
‘Barack Obama' will go down in history as the greatest fraud ever perpetrated upon an electorate.
Worse than the fraud itself, is that the nation's free press having conspired in so willingly.
Almost as worse, is the opposition party having enabled the fraud by its own passivity.
The ignoramus, by his own words:
”Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel ‘s.”
”I've now been in 57 states I think one left to go.”
”On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes, and I see many of them in the audience here today.”
”What they'll say is, ‘Well it costs too much money,' but you know what? It would cost, about. It it it would cost about the same as what we would spend. It. Over the course of 10 years it would cost what it would costs us. (nervous laugh) All right. Okay. We're going to. It. It would cost us about the same as it would cost for about hold on one second. I can't hear myself. But I'm glad you're fired up, though. I'm glad.”
”The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system.”
”I bowled a 129. It's like – it was like the Special Olympics, or something.”
”Of the many responsibilities granted to a president by our Constitution, few are more serious or more consequential than selecting a Supreme Court justice. The members of our highest court are granted life tenure, often serving long after the presidents who appointed them. And they are charged with the vital task of applying principles put to paper more than 20 centuries ago to some of the most difficult questions of our time.”
”Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking up a hospital bed, it costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave them treatment early and they got some treatment, and a, a breathalyzer, or inhalator, not a breathalyzer. I haven't had much sleep in the last 48 hours.”
”It was interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of I don't know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing.”
”I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”
“When I meet with world leaders, what's striking — whether it's in Europe or here in Asia…”
“We're the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad.”
“We're not trying to push financial reform because we begrudge success that's fairly earned. I mean, I do think at a certain point you've made enough money. But, you know, part of the American way is, you know, you can just keep on making it if you're providing a good product or providing good service. We don't want people to stop, ah, fulfilling the core responsibilities of the financial system to help grow our economy.”
“One such translator was an American of Haitian descent, representative of the extraordinary work that our men and women in uniform do all around the world — Navy Corpse-Man Christian Brossard.”
“The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.”
“UPS and FedEx are doing just fine, right? It's the Post Office that's always having problems.”
“The Cambridge police acted stupidly.”
“The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system.”
“It was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of — I don't know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing.”
“I didn't want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing any seances.”
‘You Can't Just Make Stuff Up. That's One Thing You Learn As President'
The news media's pick:

“He sure fooled me . I even fooled me!

-Crazy Nancy Pelosi, who voters booted out of the position of House Speaker in 2010.

https://thefinereport.com/2012/08/obama ... rpetrated/

Comrade Fine, is it possible that you may have missed your latest (or the last several) JiffyLobo™ appointments??

This IS Dear Leader we're talking about here...

And after all, JiffyLobo™ is EVERYwhere these days - no appointment necessary, and ObamaCard™ is accepted.

For your peace of mind!

Save the planet! Use only one page when wiping.

Squealing Pig V.P. Joseph Biden, Calls GOP 'Squealing Pigs:'

“Yes, I called them squealing pigs!

And yes: I'm crazy!

There, I said it!

What are you gonna do about it, huh? I'll have ya legs broken!”

We heard you loud and clear, Vice President Pig. Start packing.

“For God's sake, can I please stand upright now?”

https://thefinereport.com/2012/08/squea ... ling-pigs/
https://thefinereport.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Boehener-bending-over2-e1345598205519.jpg

Turns out Newsweek editors visit the People's Cube Karaoke section!

Hit The Road Barack

Hit the road Barack and don't you come back
Mo fo mo fo mo fo mo fo
Hit the road Barack and don't you come back no more
What you say?
Hit the road Barack and don't you come back
Mo fo mo fo mo fo mo fo
Hit the road Barack and don't you come back no more

Whoa people oh people don't treat me so mean
You're the meanest old crackers that I've ever seen
I guess if you say so
A then I have to pack my things and go ( that's right )

Hit the road Barack and don't you come back
Mo fo mo fo mo fo mo fo
Hit the road Barack and don't you come back no more
What you say?
Hit the road Barack and don't you come back
Mo fo mo fo mo fo mo fo
Hit the road Barack and don't you come back no more

Well people listen people don't you treat me this a way
Cause I'll be back on my feet some day
Don't care what you do 'cause it's understood
You spent all our money you just ain't no good
Well I guess if you say so
A then I have to pack my things and go ( that's right )

Hit the road Barack and don't you come back
Mo fo mo fo mo fo mo fo
Hit the road Barack and don't you come back no more
What you say?
Hit the road Barack and don't you come back
Mo fo mo fo mo fo mo fo
Hit the road Barack and don't you come back no more

You must be joking ( don't you come back mo fo )
Uh what did you say? ( don't...)
I have more work to do ( don't...)
I still have some checks left ( don't...)
Don't go acting stupidly ( don't...)
Can Moose have a few more tamales? ( don't you come back mo fo )