Breitbart reports that it has learned that The NewsFather, speaking anonymously on background to his culturally-sensitive media organs, has indicated an intention to delay FCC plans to tastefully and compassionately place horseheads into the beds of holders of radio and television broadcast licenses to encourage them to satisy the "Critical Information Needs" (CINs) of their viewers.



According to reliably high sources within the NewsFather's culturally-sensitive media organs, the NewsFather explained the delay by observing that "We may have already accomplished our objective of 'incentivising' radio and television broadcasters to begin catering to what the NewsFather knows to be the 'Critical Infomation Needs' of 'Ye the People.'" This will modernize the authority of the FCC, the name of which will be changed from "Federal Communications Commission" to "Federal Content Commission" or "Federalized Critical Content."

--KOOK

We at Unified Information, the internal censor content verification service of the Glorious State, are shocked to hear that the FCC has had to temporarily put these plans on hold.

The information The People™ receive must completely be in line with the agenda of The Party! Any news that does not conform to the agenda will not be reported, and any organization that does not comply with the demands shall be reprimanded immediately. Constitution [spit] be damned!

The wages of our CINs is power!

UnifiedInformation wrote:We at Unified Information, the internal censor content verification service of the Glorious State, are shocked to hear that the FCC has had to temporarily put these plans on hold.

The information The People™ receive must completely be in line with the agenda of The Party! Any news that does not conform to the agenda will not be reported, and any organization that does not comply with the demands shall be reprimanded immediately. Constitution [spit] be damned!

The wages of our CINs is power!

But, but, but ... what is this "agenda" of which you speak? Does the Party not deal solely in Truth™ while only vile teabaggers have agendas?

RedDiaperette wrote:But, but, but ... what is this "agenda" of which you speak? Does the Party not deal solely in Truth™ while only vile teabaggers have agendas?

Relax, comrade. The Truth™ is our "agenda," if we have one. This kind of "agenda" is permissible under the circumstances.

UnifiedInformation wrote:

RedDiaperette wrote:But, but, but ... what is this "agenda" of which you speak? Does the Party not deal solely in Truth™ while only vile teabaggers have agendas?

Relax, comrade. The Truth™ is our "agenda," if we have one. This kind of "agenda" is permissible under the circumstances.

Indeed, comrades - as long as the proper paperwork has been filled out and/or the appropriate bribes fiduciary encouragements have been made and/or sufficient threats encouragements have been spoken, various and sundry agendas may, in fact, become Party approved.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote: Indeed, comrades - as long as the proper paperwork has been filled out and/or the appropriate bribes fiduciary encouragements have been made and/or sufficient threats encouragements have been spoken, various and sundry agendas may, in fact, become Party approved.

Grandfather would dismiss debates involving moral judgement with this little jingle:

Deciding what's wrong,
I contend takes too long.
With appropriate perks
I find everything works.

I remember hearing him chanting these lines, over and over, as the pest control officer put him in the van.

What more can we say, Comrade R.O.C.K.? Except, perhaps, to pass on the paperwork!

Also:

Captain Craptek wrote:Grandfather would dismiss debates involving moral judgement with this little jingle:

Deciding what's wrong,
I contend takes too long.
With appropriate perks
I find everything works.

Long live the solid grounds of moral relativism and double standardism!