Runaway economic change causes one million percent inflation in Venezuela; President Maduro begs world to end economic change, jail economic change deniers
News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive)
7/28/2018, 8:20 pm
CNN: Trump tweet storm knocks Earth off its axis, sending it spiraling into the sun; women and minorities affected most
7/29/2018, 6:12 pm
California gives new meaning to strawman argument as caped crusader Super Strawman battles the evil forces of super criminals in every restaurant, bar, and fast food joint
8/3/2018, 11:06 am
Violence increases in Mexico as cartels switch from smuggling drugs to plastic straws
8/5/2018, 11:46 am
Upset that no one ever answered any of his emails, Nigerian man commits suicide and leaves $100bn fortune to charity
8/6/2018, 1:41 pm
New York: In an unprecedented, stunning announcement, The New York Times outs itself as a standards-fluid publication
8/6/2018, 9:05 pm
Single-payer can only work on a national level because unlike States the federal government can just print more money, says Bernie Sanders
8/9/2018, 10:59 am
E-Books, E-Commerce, and E-Cigarettes have molded the lookdown generation to prepare them for the next forward step of E-masculation
8/9/2018, 3:53 pm
DNC voter registration efforts shift focus from the deceased to the heretofore untapped aborted child demographic
8/10/2018, 11:23 am
Vegan mother undergoes experimental surgery to force her breasts to produce almond milk
8/10/2018, 8:20 pm
Breaking news alert! ABC reports they've done a real news story on the Trump administration!
But, that turns out to be fake news...
But, that turns out to be fake news...
8/11/2018, 4:27 am
California Gov. Jerry Brown stops wildfires ravaging his state by banning wildfires
8/11/2018, 4:46 am
San Francisco: Police close all Planned Parenthood clinics in city indefinitely after sting operation catches employees using plastic straws
8/13/2018, 12:07 am
(post-Solshot of Parker Probe, a headline from Mujahid al-Harrakah News)
Islam on the march!
Kuffar colonizers give way, explore moving to Moon or Mars and now even the Sun.
Kuffar colonizers give way, explore moving to Moon or Mars and now even the Sun.
8/17/2018, 10:04 am
Idiot Republicans still expect fair play from election losers.
Idiot Democrats still expect idiot Republicans to expect fair play from losers.
Idiot Democrats still expect idiot Republicans to expect fair play from losers.
8/20/2018, 1:34 pm
Mob of "Resistance" march in straight jackets to protest against Trump ... and then can't free themselves
8/21/2018, 1:46 pm
"Bruce Ohr? Never heard of him!" - the NYT airbrushes another one out of the picture.
8/22/2018, 4:42 pm
Fun fact: Congress has a slush fund of millions of $$$ to pay hush money, and they will not tell us which congress critters use it.
9/2/2018, 12:28 am
Hollywood to America: If you've got a flag on the moon, you didn't plant that; some other country made that happen.
9/5/2018, 10:16 am
Kaepernick doesn't respect his country's flag.
His President does, perhaps because he was BORN ON FLAG DAY.
Kaepernick doesn't respect his country's flag.
His President does, perhaps because he was BORN ON FLAG DAY.
9/13/2018, 4:53 pm
In a stunning reversal of attitude, a major newspaper ascribes the combined might of Zeus and Neptune to President Trump.
9/13/2018, 8:30 pm
Harry Reid comes forth to say Judge Kavanaugh didn't pay any taxes in high school
9/15/2018, 9:18 pm
California to launch satellite to "pinpoint and stop" CO2 emissions.
Think about that.
Think about that.
9/18/2018, 10:12 am
Equal Sign Deemed Intolerant, Math Oppressive
The centuries-old symbol denoting balanced equations is now considered cruel to unbalanced-Americans.
The centuries-old symbol denoting balanced equations is now considered cruel to unbalanced-Americans.
9/18/2018, 4:47 pm
Area woman tells police of going through worst night of her life that was so traumatic she still has ptsd; when pressed by police can't recall the year it happened or where it happened but knows it it involved a wild drunken Chuck Schumer trying to rape her. She demands the FBI investigate.
9/19/2018, 6:59 pm
CNN: Kavanaugh's Confirmation Will Actually INCREASE Global Warming By 3 Degrees - Here's Why
9/19/2018, 11:29 pm
NYT: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg accuses Abraham Lincoln of sexually harassing her sometime in the summer of 1862
9/20/2018, 11:06 pm
DNC internal polling of party members reveals that 1 in 3 #FightFor15 activists believe movement is somehow related to lowering the age of consent across America
9/21/2018, 10:00 pm
NYT Op-Ed: Modern journalism is all about deciding which facts the public shouldn't know because they might reflect badly on Democrats
9/25/2018, 3:49 pm
Amnesty International calls for a halt to the vote on Judge Kavanaugh to SCOTUS until they can determine if he has violated any human rights.
9/30/2018, 5:04 pm
Postmodernists: We can't believe Christine Blasey Ford because objective truth doesn't exist.
10/1/2018, 12:48 am
“He took a lie detector test. I had him take a polygraph, which he passed, which forever destroyed my faith in polygraphs (laughter).” Hillary Clinton
10/1/2018, 2:00 am
European Union passes a law stating that Allah is not welcome on their continent until he completes a state-certified anger-management program.
10/2/2018, 8:26 am
Hundreds of UFO abductees affirm Dr Ford's credibility stating that they have PTSD from being groped by aliens and have no recollection of when or where it occurred
10/4/2018, 9:32 am
Online dating industry now recommends men wear body cameras while dating and bringing an attorney as a chaperone
10/8/2018, 6:34 am
NYT poll: 84% of millennials believe problematic issues raised in Orwell's 1984 can be solved with solutions from Orwell's Animal Farm
10/10/2018, 7:34 pm
SPLC designates US Supreme Court as hate group; ADL sues on behalf of Justices Ginsburg, Breyer, & Kagan.
10/13/2018, 12:02 pm
DNC hires ace P.I. O.J. Simpson to search nation's golf courses and gentlemen's clubs to find the real story on Brett Kavanaugh; results to be released during halftime show of Super Bowl LIII
10/16/2018, 10:49 am
Sen. Elizabeth Warren awarded Nobel Prize in Medicine for proving race is real and not societal construct
10/17/2018, 9:47 pm
Doctor sued after announcing successful delivery of baby boy when mother felt it was a girl.
10/18/2018, 2:51 pm
Obama just read in the newspapers that a competent leader in Saudi Arabia always knows everything that goes on in his government
10/23/2018, 9:37 am
Supreme Court Approves Wilbur Ross Census. Undocumented Democrats to be Counted as 3/5 Persons
10/24/2018, 8:09 pm
Pipe bombs replace Mercedes-Benz as DNC status symbols. "have-not's" are jealous.
10/26/2018, 8:18 am
History books are now required to substitute "immigration" for invasion in all subsequent reprints.
The following example is cited: In September of 1939 World War II began because the world failed to recognize the rights of Hitler's army immigrating to Poland.
The following example is cited: In September of 1939 World War II began because the world failed to recognize the rights of Hitler's army immigrating to Poland.
10/26/2018, 8:22 am
The civil war in the old South will be referred to as "The War of Northern Immigration"
10/31/2018, 3:15 pm
Asians offended at cultural appropriation as Hillary says of blacks "...they all look alike."
11/6/2018, 4:50 pm
NYT won't display election needle graphic this year until they know the vote tallies so as to prevent their readers from going into wild barking frenzies of fear at the sight brought on by 2016 PTSD
11/13/2018, 4:34 pm
Ocasio-Cortez lashes out at proposed Amazon move to Queens as that would "flood the streets and everything"
11/16/2018, 2:35 pm
On the second day of elections Florida gave to me... two found bags of ballots and one narrow loss on our wild ballot counting spree.
11/16/2018, 2:38 pm
On the third day of elections Florida gave to me... three court orders, two big bags of ballots, and a narrow loss on the ballot counting spree.
Etc.
Etc.
11/26/2018, 6:19 pm
The U.S. Global Change Research Program (that puts together the national climate assessment) keeps three sets of figures, one to mislead the public, another to mislead the government, and the third to mislead itself.
12/13/2018, 4:35 pm
New study revels that if everything is a social construct the idea that gender identity is a social construct is itself a social construct.
12/19/2018, 9:30 pm
Hillary can't decide if she's going to run in 2020 or sell the DNC to someone else
12/21/2018, 9:52 pm
Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg had malignant nodules of Obamacare removed from her lung in a New York hospital and is said to be "resting comfortably."
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
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