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2nd Edition is out! WHAT REALLY HAPPENED - by Joe Biden

5/15/2020, 2:34 pm
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The sequel to WHAT REALLY HAPPENED is now being prepared in a covid-and-brain-free basement by Barack Obama's former veep who is sheltered in place.

As soon as CNN reporter Jim Acosta was ushered in, the former veep, Joe Biden, informed Acosta that millions of people have diedbecause Donald Trump didn't want the nation to have hydroxychloroquine.

Acosta interviewed the Great Gaffer on the other side of the double-walled glass barrier. At the time the veep was brushing his teeth in the semi darkness through his face mask and famed aviators. Acosta turned to the camera and with a serious face said: "I have no evidence whatsoever the Democrat candidate lost his mind."

Mr. Biden greeted the CNN reporter with, "I love your show at MSNBC and watch you all the time! I especially like your partner, that guy Rachel."

Acosta asked Biden if he will ever venture out to get some fresh air and sunshine before he'll be sworn in on January 20, 2021? Mr. Biden replied, "Not necessary for me to go out and campaign with the media doing such a great job campaigning for me already. I'm staying put in my bunker. I'll never leave."


Acosta asked Biden if he has chosen a vice president named Andrew Cuomo yet?


Biden replied that his choice of veep named Michelle or Kamala is still on the table, and that he is determined to choose someone who looks like America. "I mean," he added, "black, female, angry and resentful, one who has a good ghetto accent with a huge chip on her broad shoulders due to imagined victimization because she might be a multimillionaire, and preferably has a well-stocked supply of knee pads.

"I don't mind if she is bowlegged and looks like a linebacker taking one knee." Biden said, "I'll take what I can get to Make America Stupid and Poor Again, or did you not watch the Democrat debates?"

Biden grinned as he remarked "It'll be really easy to beat Teddy Roosevelt this time!" He added, "Just like the last time I beat him."

"Men wearing wire-rimmed glasses and facial hair are a fashion no-no this year," said Joe, and then wiped his wire-rimmed Aviators on his face mask.

At this point the CNN reporter who was wearing I'M WITH HER and FORWARD! lapel pins to prove his bona fides he's a genuine REAL NEWS journalist, asked Mr. Biden to explain in as few words as possible his plans to Make America Small Again - and if possible, entirely insignificant.


Biden grinned, paused for thirty minutes at the question, and pumped his fists in the air before passing out from the exertion.

After Joe's wife resuscitated the former veep with smelling salts, Biden sat up. Referring to the FORBES article that said Biden is China's only chance, Acosta asked, "How do you plan to save China?

Mr Biden guffawed, and said: "We have to save China, because when I get in, America will be done for, you can stick a fork in it!"

Biden chuckled again for an hour, while shrugging his shoulders and said, "Where am I?"

As the former veep walked away and bumped into the wall, he finally left the room saying, "And that's my plan to Make America Small Again."

"Great slogan Mr. Vice President!" said the CNN reporter.
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