FBI Most Wanted Decry Jan 6 'Impostor'

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Somewhere, USA -- The killer's eyes are always on the doors and exits of the family restaurant we are sitting in. The People's Cube has obtained an exclusive interview with someone on the FBI's Most Wanted list, called John Brown for this story. The person's real name has been withheld for obvious reasons.

Mr. Brown is anxious, paranoid, and - most surprisingly - angry with the FBI for destroying what he calls the "sanctity" of the Most Wanted list.

The FBI's Most Wanted list of fugitives has represented the 10 most dangerous and wily criminals in the nation since first introduced in 1950. Former members of this notorious club include the country's most deranged and prolific killers, rapists, and robbers.

Recently, Evan Neumann of Mill Valley, CA, was added to the list for his behavior at the US Capital on Jan. 6, 2021. The numerous and serious charges include assaulting, resisting or impeding officers, obstructing law enforcement during civil disorder, and violent entry and disorderly conduct on Capitol grounds. He is a noted serial trespasser, having been convicted of the same crime in 2018. An elderly former neighbor reports multiple trespasses on his lawn when Mr. Neumann was just a youth, showing a disturbing pattern of lawlessness that started early.

According to Mr. Brown, "Adding this guy to our list just rankles, you know? You have to commit multiple heinous crimes to make this exclusive list and get the whole country looking for you - I think there are only like a couple hundred of us total. This guy shakes a fence in DC and makes mean faces at a cop. They add HIM to list? Really? If I find him first, I'm gonna kill him."