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Superhero CDC Acquires New Superpower Over Landlords

8/4/2021, 10:02 am
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Read the exciting adventures of that bastion of truth and justice: CDC

™ PeoplesCube Comix

Origin Story: Mild-mannered Medical Doctor Rochelle Walensky was employed in a government laboratory studying the AIDS disease. Working late one evening, she was mixing chemical reagents when her hand slipped and she accidentally mixed some of it in a nearby vat of TOXIC WASTE! After the smoke cleared, she was confronted with a vision of an otherworldly being that called itself "Joe" and began to speak in a rambling, incomprehensible language.

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She soon realized he was trying to tell her she was being granted superpowers to combat evildoers and other malarkey. As his image began to fade he spoke a strange incantation "trunalimunumaprzure" and Dr. Walensky felt amazing new powers surge within her.

She found she can control minds using her SCIENCE ability.

She also has the power of Mask Mandate to apply face coverings (up to 85% effective at preventing the spread of some diseases, like the common cold, and 100% effective against bad breath).

She was now transformed into the feisty Superhero CDC!
In Issue #63, CDC has just defeated the Bad Orange Man and his insidious insurrectionists: Buffalo Shaman and Selfie-Stick.

As she heads home for some much needed rest, what does she hear?
Voices crying out for help from a nearby apartment building...?

Is it on fire? Are there hostages in there?
No -it's much worse! The people in the apartment are being EVICTED FOR NOT PAYING THEIR RENT!

She works quickly to unravel the diabolical plot, and finds her old nemesis is behind it. That's right: Dog-Faced Pony Soldier is up to his old tricks again!

He has frightened people so much they can't go back to work. When they eventually run out of government subsidies, his partner-in-crime Slumlord comes along and makes them pay rent!

They can't pay without government assistance, so he zaps them with his Eviction Notice beam causing them to be paralyzed (and ruining their credit score).

CDC has to reach deep within herself to defeat this diabolical duo and finds she has an additional power Joe never even hinted at: she can place people under her shining Eviction Shield, stopping Slumlord in his tracks and bringing balance and justice back to the world.

Don't miss this exciting new installment and watch for next month's issue where she must do battle with a mysterious new enemy: CISGENDERO
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8/5/2021, 8:57 pm
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Comrade, I believe you forgot about the other super power she has: she can confiscate the wealth and liberty of both Landlord and Slumlord, without even so much as a show trial, if they even try to retrieve what was once their personal property. Truly a noble Super Hero.
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8/5/2021, 10:37 pm
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Thank goodness. It makes me sleep better at night to know those arch villains Law and Order are being dealt with.
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8/6/2021, 9:03 am
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Margaret wrote:Thank goodness. It makes me sleep better at night to know those arch villains Law and Order are being dealt with.
Those baddies were dealt with in Issue #41, set in Portland: "Law and Order Must Die."
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8/6/2021, 2:17 pm
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A little dog-faced pony action, too. I'd rather not try to add it to the original post. I can never get the formatting right... lines get lost, all kinda weird stuff.
dogface5.jpg
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8/6/2021, 7:38 pm
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Joe is just trying to get at her children.
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8/9/2021, 9:05 am
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Panem Et Circenses wrote:... After the smoke cleared, she was confronted with a vision of an otherworldly being that called itself "Joe" and began to speak in a rambling, incomprehensible language ...
Joe.. Joey.. is a... a Jinni? Out of The (Lab) Bottle?
ssso... Jinni Bai-Din? Cho Bai-Jinn? Jinni Bai-Jinn?

( Bai-Jinn? Bai-Jinn? Bei-Jing, anybody? )


Panem Et Circenses wrote:... [Ma'am Walensky] has an additional power Joe never even hinted at ...
aaaand, now that CDC got true powers, howbow

  • Ma'am Walensky (nutreeshun guidance!) tears out of your grubby hands that beloved beefsteak I mean, sauerkraut-n-kasha ?
  • some BrennClappComey of CDC declares: Vee haf vays to make you vear a voll-body dekoronative kondom, jawohl! ??
  • Fauxci, with a stroke of a penis, forbids Whitey Math ???



        Mystery item No. 1
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8/9/2021, 2:53 pm
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wallslap.jpg
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8/10/2021, 8:14 am
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Is that a photo of Sandra Fluke?
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8/10/2021, 9:17 am
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Ellsworth Toohey wrote:Is that a photo of Sandra Fluke?

Nyet, Comrade, that is Walensky getting teeth knocked out by fascist species appropriator, the Bat Person.
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8/15/2021, 8:16 am
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Colonel Obyezyana wrote:
Ellsworth Toohey wrote:Is that a photo of Sandra Fluke?
Nyet, Comrade, that is Walensky getting teeth knocked out by fascist species appropriator, the Bat Person.
Wait.. what if Komrade ET meant: That trandgendered Personx, zey in PussyBatHat, zem is comradette comradx Fluke?

(yet even if so, your - Col. O - opinionx is korrekt anyway: Bat Person Flukx enhances class self-consciousness of fascist dental appropriator, boldly removing those unjust unequitably misappropriated fetishes.)
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