Hollywood, CA -- Sean Penn is putting together a team of hand-picked mercenaries to be deployed behind enemy lines in the Russian-Ukraine conflict.  The team consists of Hollywood actors who have played action roles in movies and "know how to handle a prop M-16."

Mr. Penn announced the concept in an extensive interview this past week.  "It's a thing I've been working on since I tried filming the documentary in Ukraine.  At first I really wanted the US to send in some of the pathetic losers we have in our military.  After the Biden / Afghanistan thing, it's clear nobody really cares what happens to them, right?  They might as well die in Ukraine, defending freedom instead of harassing peace-loving Muslims."

He continued, "But then I figured out that I actually have no control of our foreign policy.  A sad day.  The only choice left is to take direct, decisive action.  I talked to my agent who talked to the agents of a select, hand-picked squad of actors and we're starting it up.  I mean it - the plan is to airdrop us all in a limo behind enemy lines and cause mayhem, just like the dirty dozen.  It might sound a little ridiculous at first, but I'm no stranger to violence and can handle myself.  You remember how I sucker-punched photographers in the 80s, man?  That was no joke - that was real.  I'll be fine."

He went on to mention some of the people involved and their role on the team.  Here is a summary of the team so far:

"Let me say first: we can't fail - we have Rambo.  Yeah, Stallone signed up immediately and is still in great shape.  You'd never guess he's 79."

"My role will be Captain Miller, from Saving Private Ryan - conflicted and weary of the war, but determined to press on and do my duty.  I considered a reprise of Jeff Spicoli, but I really wanted to be in charge, and Spicoli's motivation just wasn't there for something like that."

"We tried getting Michael J. Fox - he and I served together in Vietnam - but unfortunately he's in no shape for combat anymore.  Bruce Willis was considered - not much military experience, but a real butt-kicker anyhow.  He has health issues now, too, so he's out.  Duane Johnson was asked, but the guy is working on 14 films right now, couldn't commit."

"We did get Robert Downey Jr, who is going to play his Kirk Lazarus character from Tropic Thunder, but this time not in blackface.  It is 2022, after all."

"Alex Baldwin has signed up, assuming he can get permission to leave the country from the DA's office.  He's the only one of us who has actually killed someone, so his experience will be helpful for the rest of us as we work through the conflicting emotions we're sure to experience."

"We're still on the lookout for a hard-boiled Sergeant to keep the men in line, a gunny-type guy.  I wish Lee Ermey was still alive - he had acting and military experience, just the perfect person."

"We just need two more to round out the team: a wise-cracking sniper - preferably someone black to add a little diversity - and a beautiful young woman who is attractively aloof and good with explosives.  I'm not picky about the hair color, we have makeup people to turn her into a brunette if she isn't already."

"Otherwise, we are ready to go.  We have costumes - I mean uniforms, ammunition, and an assortment of legal, registered firearms - no bump stocks, expanded capacity clips, or anything scary like that, of course.  My personal chef made up the MREs for us - all 100% organic, earth-friendly, sustainable-sourced seafood and low-fat chicken, with plenty of Vegan options.  Don't worry, Ukraine - help is on the way."

"Don't never go full re-tard!"

Golly, P&CC, this is a go picture!

No more Ukrainians taking live fire for Screen Actor’s Guild members. Not when there is Sean Penn ready for action documentary featuring Ukrainians dying in his place as a SAG member! When the Penn 10 - has to be for marketing purposes, P&C- Anyway the courageous scene when the Penn 10 gets dropped limo’d behind enemy lines, this could be Penn 10 perfect soundtrack, to set the tone of the mission!

https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-kara ... 22732.html

The Penn 10 - that's perfect!

Why isn't Mel Gibson included in the line up? He played a warrior in Braveheart, The Patriot and We Were Soldiers. He was The Road Warrior. Leaving him out seems to be a self defeating move.

As for the female role, I can't think of anyone more suited than Jada Smith. She has a ready weapon in her husband Will to walk all around Russia bitch-slapping people.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote: ↑

4/14/2022, 10:22 pm

Why isn't Mel Gibson included in the line up? He played a warrior in Braveheart, The Patriot and We Were Soldiers. He was The Road Warrior. Leaving him out seems to be a self defeating move.

As for the female role, I can't think of anyone more suited than Jada Smith. She has a ready weapon in her husband Will to walk all around Russia bitch-slapping people.

He's persona non grata, and no self-respecting Hollywood lib like Sean Penn would even acknowledge his existence.  He's been outed as a Christian after the Passion of the Christ.

Jada Smith would work, but the whole GI Jane thing would cut it a bit fine, dontcha think?
 

Panem Et Circenses wrote: ↑

4/15/2022, 6:21 am

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote: ↑

4/14/2022, 10:22 pm

Why isn't Mel Gibson included in the line up? He played a warrior in Braveheart, The Patriot and We Were Soldiers. He was The Road Warrior. Leaving him out seems to be a self defeating move.

As for the female role, I can't think of anyone more suited than Jada Smith. She has a ready weapon in her husband Will to walk all around Russia bitch-slapping people.

He's persona non grata, and no self-respecting Hollywood lib like Sean Penn would even acknowledge his existence.  He's been outed as a Christian after the Passion of the Christ.

Jada Smith would work, but the whole GI Jane thing would cut it a bit fine, dontcha think?
 

You're probably right about Mel Gibson. He's Catholic but, in todays world, going to confession means you get cancelled, no matter how many "Hail Mary"s you say. I don't know about the GI Jane thing. I never saw that movie. I remember there was a movie once from the 50's with a character named GIGI. I think it was a musical. Now that would be an interesting plot twist. Sean Penn starring in the Russian invasion musical production. The possibilities are limitless.

Hey, Sean, if you're having trouble assembling a team --

How about Team America? Fuck Yeah!

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote: ↑

4/17/2022, 12:49 am

Hey, Sean, if you're having trouble assembling a team --

How about Team America? Fuck Yeah!

Isn't that what he's doing? Assembling members of the Film Actors Guild (FAG)? Maybe he could get Matt Damon in his troop.

Cut!
Cut! Cut!

Comrades, we gotta rethink this scene before Sean Penn’s 10 gets reloaded. There is behind the screens talks that Penn is in the works to actually exchange situations with Ukrainians under attack by Russians!

Yes, comrades! This ain’t the way Elvis went to war, or the way Audie Murphy came back. This may be beyond the generation who didn’t but acted like they did by hating Trump more than any one man on earth! That takes a lot of acting control and focus to just sit next to another Sean!! Hannity! because Trump is that evil! It’s all Trump’s fault we’re hearing about the corruption coming out of Ukraine, and the Biden’s.

Okay,‘pelipsky’s mythical mind can relate to ‘that’ character of Sean.

And, Sean does have to keep the documentary’s sponsors and investors seeing promotional progress in the whole franchise... but as the character developers, Sean is actually going to become a ‘What’?

‘pelipsky looks back to when Davy Crockett showed up in time for The Alamo, but Crockett knew how to shoot and fight to the death.
See the dilemma? Once the exchange in character occurs—-WHAT will Sean Penn be? Is being a literal version of The Man With No Country, former film star, a thing????

Any comrade else care about character development in this script?

jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑

4/17/2022, 4:20 pm

Any comrade else care about character development in this script?

Comrade, you're forgetting about Sean Penn's unforgettable performance in trying to save to save New Orleans with an aluminum dingy and a rifle, after Hurricane Katrina. The man has experience with disasters. Most of his films have been disasters. I'm sure we can expect much of the same.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote: ↑

4/17/2022, 5:07 pm

jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑

4/17/2022, 4:20 pm

Any comrade else care about character development in this script?

Comrade, you're forgetting about Sean Penn's unforgettable performance in trying to save to save New Orleans with an aluminum dingy and a rifle, after Hurricane Katrina. The man has experience with disasters. Most of his films have been disasters. I'm sure we can expect much of the same.

Do we really need another Hollywood disaster documentary? Especially if filmed in another nation? It’s not as if America is without need to document its own disaster, without adding to other people’s disasters.

What happens when evil, greedy Railroad Companies ration transportation of fertilizer components?

As if the product, urea was less important than being able to piss in New York subway? ????
The inequality of it all is a Hollywood disaster documentary: “The LoCo-Mordor”.