A disturbing trend has emerged amongst former Twitter employees. Many of them are on suicide watch.

Distraught former employees are closing their garage doors and starting their cars in order to end it all. These attempts have all failed due to the batteries going dead and California's electricity grid not being able to handle the extra capacity of recharging the cars.

This is concerning on a number of levels. What may be the most disturbing aspect of this, is that they make these attempts to end it all whilst drinking boxed wine and wearing yoga pants.

Health care professionals and negotiators have been mobilized to coax these former employees from their cars.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote: ↑

11/18/2022, 5:49 pm

A disturbing trend has emerged amongst former Twitter employees. Many of them of them are on suicide watch. Distraught former employees are closing their garage doors and starting their cars in order to end it all. These attempts have all failed due to the batteries going dead and California's electricity grid not being able to handle the extra capacity of recharging the cars for subsequent attempts at trying to end it all. This is concerning on a number of levels. Health care professionals and negotiators have been mobilized to coax these former employees from their cars.

Comrade

We at The People's Morgue™ are ready to serve in whatever capacity we are needed. Death by Carbon Monoxide poisoning from EV's has reached epidemic levels in California and other "Blue" states. This just goes to show you how evil that Elon Musk guy is. It is rumored that he bought Twitter as tool for covering up this scandal. When will his madness end?

I remain
Dr. Chicago.

Comrade, I've updated my original post to add extra details, if you're interested in further comment.

Well, Comrades, there is a silver lining. At least for now, taxpayers can avoid paying for their student loans. Without these future progressives, mixed genders with various pronouns, and other assorted varieties of plant life to nurture and guide us, our future human race will wander alone throughout the streets of the inner city homeless or recycling nutrient centers. Until then, it is important that the rest of us reduce our carbon footprints, shut off heating our homes, turn off all lights, eat cans of cold crickets from the local food distribution centers or continue to shoot conservatives at a practice baseball game. We must continue to appreciate and celebrate those who gave it all away behind closed garage doors while abandoning their Eco-Credit score....How sad!

Well, California has approved the use of human remains as fertilizer so The People™ can continue to give back to The Collective™ as we labor in the beet fields. There seems to be an environmental benefit to all of this. I'm not sure how the swine farms are going to survive but I'm sure we can figure something out.

The most disturbing aspect of this is that the electric cars they are running in their closed garages are all Teslas made by Elon Musk.

That just proves how Evil™ Elon Musk is.