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Musk-Zuck Will Fight by Proxy

6/23/2023, 7:34 pm
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The much vaunted cage match between social media moguls Elon (The African Asskicker) Musk and Mark (The Cyborg) Zuckerberg will take place soon, but there's been a late development.

According to inside contacts who spoke to The People's News™ on condition of anonymity: 

"Due to the risk of breaking a sweat and the serious liability costs should either billionaire suffer any injury greater than a hangnail, both Musk and Zuck have agreed to have their personal English butlers fight in their stead."

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This may come as a disappointment to those who were hoping to watch Musk tear Zuck's eyeballs from their sockets and play with them as if they were those Click-Clack toys from the 1970s.

And it may be a let-down for others who yearned to see Musk get kicked in the yarbles and vomit red Zinfandel all over the mat.

However, the butlers are well experienced and equipped to provide a spectacle that includes awkward slapping, mincing footwork, girly (but dignified) shrieks and at least one self-inflicted bloody nose.


   
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6/25/2023, 9:05 am
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RUMORS EMERGE THAT BELARUS HAS INTERVENED IN THE MUCH-ANTICIPATED MUSK/ZUCKERBERG CAGE MATCH 

Musk Is Withdrawing His Biceps While Zuck Orders Meta Staff to Stand Down but Keep All Espresso Machines at the Ready

https://mmajunkie.usatoday.com/lists/el ... -white-mma
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6/25/2023, 9:51 am
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This MMA Cage Fight in Vegas is going to pull in an audience of all the right people. Mel Gibson and Donald Trump will be ring side the entire time. ‘pelipsky hopes TPC Sports will broadcast live!
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6/25/2023, 2:16 pm
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jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑
6/25/2023, 9:51 am
  ‘pelipsky hopes TPC Sports will broadcast live!
The TPC Sports staff is otherwise occupied right now.

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