Panera had been selling drinks that were "charged" with lots of caffiene (and some other shit plant extract that grows in the tropics)—until people started dropping dead.


Although no causal link had been established, Panera—out of an abundance of fear of stockholders caution—suddenly discontinued the charged drinks. This may seem like a wise move, but Panera is bucking a profitable trend: have you seen how many other "charged" products are out there?




Comrades will be pleased to know that since we sell no stock, we have no stockholders to fear, so the People's Secret Underground Bunker Waffle House will continue to vend our own, very popular "charged" drinks.







 

Thank you, Colonel O for a hard core view into the world of caffeine porn. So many ways to overload The System. Charged Caffeine products for every age group is why capitalism is evil and must fail. Anyone who thinks their world needs a charged caffeine Gerber Baby staying up all day and night must be a lab scientist at a Wuhan Fauci Lab. Or worse, the very lab assistants keeping Joe Biden on a charging caffeine station at 7/11.

They're a bit late to the party...