A sign of bad competition...needs to be destroyed.

Any other captions or comments?

We must set up alternative People's Olympics!


Look closely at this picture. These five cannot be separated. This is, in fact, a life-size item used in the new, collectivist type of Olympic sports, where a team of five male athelets must put them on at once without separating them, and to use it on a team of five female athelets who must be able to group together without letting anybody out.

This combines the promotion of collectivist ethics and the use of condoms in developing countries, as well as great entertainment for the toiling masses who need an educational, politically correct distraction after a day of hard toil at a state-run factory.

Speaking of which, any other suggestions on the new games for the People's Olympics?

Like hammer-and-sickle throwing - and also hammer-and-sickle catching?

Please make all condoms red

Like this?

Thank you!

Red Square wrote: Speaking of which, any other suggestions on the new games for the People's Olympics?

Like hammer-and-sickle throwing - and also hammer-and-sickle catching?

How about a grave digging event? There could be two separate contests: one for individual grave digging and the other for mass grave digging (the latter would be a team effort, of course). Grave dimensions could be based on the "Katyn" model.

How about -

Jump the Berlin Wall contest?

A team of wall jumpers against a team of sharpshooters. The jumpers win if 50% or more land behind the wall alive. A corpse falling on the Western side counts as a zero.

Great idea, Red Square!

Maybe we could have a Black Maria Crash-up Derby too.

Call me biased, but I think we should have a "Propaganda" drinking contest! The last comrade standing, wins.

Red Square wrote:How about -

Jump the Berlin Wall contest?

Could we have a Pole Vault the Berlin Wall contest as well. Those who don't make it over, will certainly end up with one helluva headache!

Perhaps an "island escape" contest, in which individuals get to make a flotation device out of wood and dilapidated vehicles for a treacherous seafaring journey to the mainland! Again, as Comrade Red Square has made clear, a corpse washing ashore counts as a zero.

We all know that the straight white male--with his congenital predisposition towards egocentrism, racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, beer-drinking, football-watching, poor hygeine, etc.--is the worst thing to ever happen to humankind. So how about a Straight White Male Self-flagellation contest. The "winner" (to use an outmoded bourgeois term) will be the contestant who whips himself the most during a given period of time. Start practicing!

Dr. W. S. Palimpsest wrote:

Red Square wrote:How about -

Jump the Berlin Wall contest?

Could we have a Pole Vault the Berlin Wall contest as well. Those who don't make it over, will certainly end up with one helluva headache!

And we could have the pole vaulters jousting with their poles in between jumps!

How about a Document Forgery contest. We would have a panel of, say, nine "experts" to perform the judging. To spice up the event, a few authentic documents would be submitted along with the spurious ones as a control.

The contestant whose fake fools the most experts will claim victory.

(Note: No bloggers will be allowed to serve on the panel.)

Good idea Fourth Estate! In fact, it could be a two part contest. In addition to forge the documents, we could have a "hide and destroy the classified documents" contest. Sandy Burglar could be a judge.

How about the Chuck Schumer Hot Air Balloon Race?? Or perhaps the Chuck Schumer Chuck Roast Chucking Event? Winner gets to eat the equipment!!

"I fully endorse these Collective Contests!!"

Yet another version: