Badgered by critics whining about his unwillingness to take a hard, clearly defined stance on a number of issues, Barack Obama has released the following document, which precisely explains his position on several important matters. We hope this clears things up.

Works for me!

glorious...looks like he plagerized HRC tho

We all know where Cobra Commander stands....

Obama campaign says he has a lot in common with most Americans.


"Most Americans like stuff.

Obama likes stuff."

Wow he's amazing

He gives the finger like most AmeriKKKans. Well, not exactly, he doesn't give the finger in the in your face, crass manner as those bitter small towners do. No, he does it in a tasteful, inclusive manner.

Obama: Clever as a ten-year-old.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:He gives the finger like most AmeriKKKans. Well, not exactly, he doesn't give the finger in the in your face, crass manner as those bitter small towners do. No, he does it in a tasteful, inclusive manner.

Bless you Comrade Marshal Pupovich!

Whenever I bless the Holy Obama, I will make sure to give the obamaunholy hand gesture when I speak his name!

In the name of the Barack *gesture* and the Hussein *gestures twice, other cheek this time* and the holy Obama *gestures three times, on each cheek, with both hands*

Most excellent!!!

Welcome to the Cube Comrade mcnorman. Just follow the guard to the bus to the Karl Marx Re-Education Center where you will receive a People's Shovel™ and be indoctrinated to serve the People.

This is the worst and un-funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. YOU people need to get one.

By the way, I f-ing despise Obama.

My other eye has a contact lens in it! So stop making fun of my blindness!

Need we more evidence? Big oil should be taxed to pay for a humor subsidy!

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Need we more evidence? Big oil should be taxed to pay for a humor subsidy!

Shouldn't Big Oil be taxed to subsidized some, if not all, government programs Marshal?

We di have others you know... Big Tobacco, Big Walmart, Big Fast Food, Big Clam Shuckers.....

Marshal Pupovich wrote:We di have others you know... Big Tobacco, Big Walmart, Big Fast Food, Big Clam Shuckers.....

So many Big things to choose from, which one to tax the most though?

Where Obama Stands On The Issues...is my absolute favorite...I laughed so hard when I seen this. I gave my tired eyes a rest from reading all the garbage Obama continues to be exposed on. It summed it up real well, he's worse than eating soup with a fork while you keep picking it up...it keeps Slipping away...that's Obama the teflon man
Thanks for the laugh I wholeheartedly agree.

How about the one world shipping whatever
supposed fishing industry that makes so much money for those involved

Netherlands Vietnam Greece Jakarta Malaysia South Korea China Peru Saudi Arabia Cyprus Turkey that

Star Kist formerly Heinz now just providing the warehousing in San Francisco and moving to Pittsburgh ...owned by

How about the aunt in Ohio with Mrs. Wong fighting her case with the firm of naturalization and immigration?

how about the Hawaiian banking Dem scandals and law changing Clinton and others
with Auchi through Asia and Indonesia and into the campaign funds
and Kazakhstan and the minerals for Canadian and Clinton

how about the One Data Google keeps track and reveals different results than Yahoo and the ever erasing of data that used to be and the invention of pages with false data

Dennis?

No, this person uses punctuation and spells correctly.
Enlightenment? Dennis?
Seriously Pinkie.

Who is this Dennis?

Never heard of him!

By Marshal Pupovich
11/30/2008, 3:54 pm


Who is this Dennis?





By Premier Betty
11/30/2008, 8:08 pm


Never heard of him!

That's because both you deserters made it past the rear guard penal battalions in our invasion of Impeachmentland.

I am sure you must be mistaken Comrade Laika.... though I do not know the names of all the moonbats there as you do. I get confused so easily.

Maksim,

I laughed so hard I broke another rib.... and then like Comrade Elliot, both my hard gas permeable contact lenses popped out... well... one popped out and stuck to my eyelash and the other slid off my iris and behind my eye, requiring me to stumble blindly to the mirror in the washroom, during which I stubbed my toe on a chair leg, tripped over a cat toy and as I fell, grabbed onto a bookshelf full of my most heavy hardcover books, bringing down the contents of it on top of my head and then smashing my elbow and hip against the parquet floor... as the last book - one of the two volumes of the shorter Oxford English dictionary fell, landing on my rib cage just in the place where I'd cracked another rib, I double over, grasping myself about my midriff with my good arm, and as my upper body moved forward, dislodging some of the books, I smashed my head - the orbit of of my right eye to be exact - into the corner of a broom cupboard, cracking my head open across my eyebrow (thankfully, this is the same eyebrow I cut in half and smushed down to the bone in 1998 when I slipped on some water while defrosting the freezer, and flew face first into the corner of the kitchen wall, so it's already scarred and I don't think I went through the muscle this time... and also as I'm not defrosting my freezer, I have ice to put on it this time)... I then rolled onto all fours, dragging myself along the floor which was quite easy as it was lubricated by the blood from my head wound, to the phone, only to miscalculate the height of the table as I have no contacts that were properly seated on my eyes, pulling it off the table onto my head where it smashed into my nose, which then began to bleed as well... In untangling myself from the phone cords, which had become wound about my hands, head and neck, I did manage to unplug the phone from the wall jack which is hidden behind another bookshelf. With my eyes full of blood, I managed to put all the cords back into the phone properly and then proceeded to reach behind the bookshelf to plug the cord back into the jack, and in the process, must have rocked the shelf enough to cause several glass candle holders and a pair of silver candlesticks to fall five feet onto my head, leaving a large gash along the left side of my hairline, as well as having one of them land on my back, right in the middle of the left side of my ribcage, fracturing, I suspect, yet another rib, and causing me to rock forward in mild discomfort, thereby smashing my mouth on the edge of an end table, and dislodging several teeth, as well as splitting both my upper and lower lip... at which point, after several tries at dialing by feel, during which time I accidentally dialed several large pieces of glass from the smashed candle holders and so lodging them in my fingers and hands, I managed to reach 911, where the operator was unable to understand my mumbling as a result of the condition of my mouth and hung up on me... but after a couple more tries, helped in large part by the redial button, and simply moaning loudly into what I hope was the receiver and not the earpiece, I think I made my situation understood well enough for them to dispatch an ambulance... the siren of which I think I hear approaching, though I am reticent to try to make my way to the window and open it, for obvious reasons... I'm having the cat type this, as well as having had him unlock the door, and thankfully I forgot to put the chain on, as he cannot undo it without opposable digits... and so I am off to the hospital... I hope they will put on the lights AND the siren... it's no fun without the siren.

Thank god I live in Kanadistan where we have socialized medicine!

But Maksim - thank you so much for such an entertaining piece of work... I can't tell you how much I appreciate your sense of humour.

Sister Mischievously Over-embellishing...
... it just made my fractured rib hurt from laughing so hard and I knocked one my contacts out of place wiping away the tears of laughter...and my cat can't really type... thank god...

Owie....

And to think, that is all Bush's fault.

Was it ever in doubt?

Comrades,

Our dear Leader-Elect continues to shape foreign policy for the future:


Afghanistan and Pakistan

• Afghanistan: Obama and Biden will refocus American resources on the greatest threat to our security -- the resurgence of al Qaeda and the Taliban in Afghanistan and Pakistan. They will increase our troop levels in Afghanistan, press our allies in NATO to do the same, and dedicate more resources to revitalize Afghanistan's economic development. Obama and Biden will demand the Afghan government do more, including cracking down on corruption and the illicit opium trade.
  
• Pakistan: Obama and Biden will increase nonmilitary aid to Pakistan and hold them accountable for security in the border region with Afghanistan.

I have to question how Pakistan will be held accountable to the Obamessiah's demands and has he appointed anyone yet to crack down on the opium trade? I would be happy to volunteer to get this situation in order so that the Party benefits and not our so called brothers in Afghanistan.

waiting for an appointment,

Che' Gourmet

Che Gourmet wrote: I have to question how Pakistan will be held accountable to the Obamessiah's demands and has he appointed anyone yet to crack down on the opium trade? I would be happy to volunteer to get this situation in order so that the Party benefits and not our so called brothers in Afghanistan.

waiting for an appointment,

Che' Gourmet

Comrade, it is good to see you are so willing to do this hard and dangerous work, but alas, this is a military-security problem and must be taken care of by my office. I can assure you, I will be....comfortably numb....

There is no pain you are receding