Shoveled Daily at The People Cube...


Serious Problem at The Rancho De Rio Grande...

After visiting The Rancho De Rio Grande recently I found a frightening discovery: Commissar Theocritus has allowed Bruno full reign over a massive batch of *shock* Reagan's Jelly Beans.

Being a concerned Progressive I denounced this behavior, however Zapolit and The Commissar assured me this was merely a one time occurrence to get rid of the Commissar's Jimy Catta rabbits, which by the way do hiss an ear piercing 'nuclar, nuclar, nuclar', just as the Commisar says. Of course all of this Rethuglikan Reagan's Jelly Beans nonsense was the Colonel's idea... you know the Colonel always stirring up trouble with his Red Guards and a trunk of Vodka and Che Monsters every night.

Like out of every crisis that we progressives take advantage of, the all new Jelly Beety's were discovered... well to tell the truth, I had been storing them in a Mass Grave(TM) since Hitler's reign for an occasion just as we are having today. Yes, Comrades, now available for The Progressive World of Next Tuesday(TM) the all new Jelly Beety's or better known as The People Jelly Beans(TM) are now available. Our motto is:

The People's Jelly Bean's - Beet or Borscht Flavor Whether You Like It or Not!!!!

Red Rooster, I have found another use for the red Jelly Belly beans. Stringing them into necklaces is very good therapy if you've had a particularly severe tune-up at Jiffi-Lobo. I would not mention this except in camera, but do not go to a Jiffi-Lobo on Monday. Some of the doctors are, shall I say, shaking a bit from the weekend's exertions.

I have found that a few weeks of stringing jelly-bean necklaces will generally contribute enough to hand-eye coordination that in short order I'm walking again.

Do not worry about Bruno with the jelly beans--his attention span is shorter than the facts on CNN.

Commissar, I have seen this practice applied many times. Why in my days on the reservation, there were beaders upon beaders stringing People's Jelly Beans. It made for great entertainment, in fact I remember Bruno clapping in glorious jest, like an ape at a shite throwing contest, when groups of People's Jelly Beans stringers would get together and perform for him. It was most entertaining.

But Yes, the minute they stopped slinging those crystalline beauties his gaze would set sale for the nearest shiny thing on a hill. And yes, it reminded me of beet shoveler's who give us glorious Pravda perspective on CNN.

Miraculous indeed!

Do I have to add the sour cream myself?

No Comrade Tovarich, all People's Jelly Beans have been properly artificially flavored. You will notice the Borscht flavored from the Beet flavored just by looks:


See comrade, the Borscht flavored are more ...errrrmmmm.... white. And the beet flavored glisten in shades of glorious RED!

Bon Appetite Comrade Tovarich!

I DENOUNCE THESE SWINE BEANS!!!!!!!

THE COLLECTIVE WILL BE TRIUMPHANT!

P.S. Those swine beans... Have they been sent to the leaders of The Party for "destruction"?... We're all looking at you, Comrade Moore.

Calling all comrades! Calling all comrades! Bruno found something <i>really</i> shiny and has been frozen for two days. Unfortunately it's on top of the floor safe that I have and I cannot get to the keys to the local Jiffi-Lobo and there's a line building up. And Bruno is entirely too big to move by myself.

Red Star, where are your goons? I need help in shifting Bruno off my floor safe. There are hundreds of people who are starting to think and the wheels of Jiffi-Lobo cannot remain at rest for long.

I DENOUNCE the bourgeois kkkapitalist pig jellybeans! The People's Jelly Beans will triumph!

Jelly beets anyone? A prole's delight. Makes them shovel faster, harder, longer, hoping for a weekly ration.

Red, for Christmas the Winter Solstice Holiday I fill them up with Putinka vodka and <i>everyone</i> gets pickled.

Have you tried the Prog Trog Martini? Putinka Vodka, prole's eye and a bow to Moscow.

Glorious, simply glorious. People's Jelly Beans, People's Pickled Beets, Bruno transfixed by a shiny object (I'm dispatching a Che Monster with a Dragonuv rifle to pick off the shiny thing so Bruno will move and you can access your safe)and of course the fear of the Regan Jelly Beans. Ahh another wonderful day at The Collective.

Meanwhile back in the People's Socialist Republik of Washington Obama, the Bellingham Collective hasvoted to hold a discussion on making Bellingham a safe haven formilitary deserters noble war resisters.

Perhaps the City Council there has been eating an ample supply of People's Jelly Beans.

Comrades, I think that to perfect the progressive stance of Bellingham, the People's Jelly Beans should be served with the People's Kool-Aid:

In the meantime, Sister M.O. is reporting on a new find -

Commie Mints

Breath Mints for the people!

Revolutionize your breath just like Lenin and the Bolsheviks revolutionized Mother Russia!

The Commie Mints are only for the most stringent representatives of socialism, or those who have halitosis issue.

Each 2-�" round tin of Commie Mints contains one hundred mints.

Celebrate the Red Scare for only $1.95!!

I guess it should make one smell like a barrack after the inmates return from a long day of hard labor. As Yakov Smirnoff said, "In Soviet Russia, you don't say 'your mother wears army boots' because she probably does."

Comrade Red Square! Who has taken upon themselves to make a People's Product(TM) without the consent of The Collective? The People's Jelly Beans(TM) must triumph!

However, Barack Breath(TM) may just make his O'liness proud. Just imagine 300,000,000 Progressive Citizens running around with Barack Breath(TM), now there is answer to population control!

My dear progressive mother was truck driver and wore combat boots. *sob* *sob* The memories....