Comrades,

I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it as long as I see fit. In the Glorious World of Next Tuesday, the masses will not need to spell correctly because they will be distributed equal grades. However, in order to get there, the Party Elites must demonstrate their high level of education and superior intelligence so we can finally take full control of the education system once and for all!

No one is EVER going to take our comrades in the teacher unions seriously if our Education Activists(TM) keep showing up with signs like these:


see more Epic Fails

WHAT A DISGRACE! The next "comrade" who undermines the Progressive Education Movement(TM) will get a short lecture from Professor Tula Tokarev!! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!?

Honestly, I'm just relieved they didn't spell it "skools". I think you're putting a little too much pressure on our dear leaders in the Re-education Camps, who's main goal is to redistribute stupidity& ignorance learnedness equally among the masses and that means, fewer study hours and more learning of the "Obama Tune of the Week". After all, the Unions appropriate the government required rest periods, vacations, holidays and raises, these Re-education leaders require, and that is what's truly important.

This is their GLORIOUS example to follow!

Comrade Olga, I am delited that u noe of Comrade Tula-Tokarev. U r trooly a comrad aftur mi ohn hart. that. Sed speling is opresive ahnd iz a sors uv eeleetust diskrimunashunz. noht ahl stoodints kan spehl prawpurlee, tu teech a singul forhm uv spehling iz nawt fare and just. I tu joyne u in deenownsing gramur natzeez.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrade Olga, I am delited that u noe of Comrade Tula-Tokarev. U r trooly a comrad aftur mi ohn hart. that. Sed speling is opresive ahnd iz a sors uv eeleetust diskrimunashunz. noht ahl stoodints kan spehl prawpurlee, tu teech a singul forhm uv spehling iz nawt fare and just. I tu joyne u in deenownsing gramur natzeez.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Just make sure you don't spell this way in public. We will give freedom of spelling to the masses and denounce Grammar Nazis to divert attention from our socialist facism once the Revolution(TM) is complete. For now, we want the oppressive Rethuglikans to look uneducated so that the masses will acknowledge us as the responsible educators. It's a convoluted brilliant plan!

Olga, my favorite Chekisty, deputize as many proles as necessary to carry out your forward thinking plan. You are the savior of the Revolution. I see the Order of Lenin in your future.

I think apostrophe abuse should be a capital offense or at least grounds for some very painful reeducation.

What about dashes? And don't forget the crimes of failing to respect all multi-cultural squiggles and umlouts, accents and other punctuation.

Leninka wrote:What about dashes? And don't forget the crimes of failing to respect all multi-cultural squiggles and [HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]uml[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]o[/HIGHLIGHT]uts[/HIGHLIGHT], accents and other punctuation.

Indeed, I notice a certain comrade around here is missing an umlaut in her rather German-sounding name!! However, I *might* be willing to overlook it with an appropriate cash payment.

Oh, Thank you, Comrade Grammactika. I think the umlaut ought to be made into a national party symbol of subtlety. Imagine how an umlaut would soften the u in gulag.

Surely spelling rules don't apply for Minority Elites?

Leninka wrote:Oh, Thank you, Comrade Grammactika. I think the umlaut ought to be made into a national party symbol of subtlety. Imagine how an umlaut would soften the u in gulag.

Yes, and then then it would be pronounced "gyulag" which sounds squishier and cuter and therefore more progressive. We always try to sweeten things up for the Greater Good(TM).

Czar Czar, it is a Party-Approved Truth(TM) that minorities can never be elites. Progressives like to keep it that way.

Of course If we couldn't tell <fashionable> that they were oppressed, being kept down, and need extra government money, extra government aid, and extra special treatment to compensate for how they are discriminated against, what would happen? Equal treatment is only for equal peoples, and we know some peoples are more equal than others, and need the guiding hand and dangling tit of government to steer them and feed them. Everyone else just has to get along themselves.

Czar Czar wrote:Surely spelling rules don't apply for Minority Elites?

Oh my Obamagod, did I say thaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Forgive me, I meant "Minority-with-Hope Induhvidual". 1000 apologies komrades!!!!!

Of course they have hope, perpetual hope. It's just that they will never have opportunity, because we won't allow it.

As comrade Alinsky said, talk softly and carry a big victim. Of course he said that before the invention of battery operated megaphones. But the idea still applies. We must have victims to exploit. There is no point to Progressive-ism without victims to agitate on behalf of.

Just because I can't spell doesn't give you the right to make fun of it!

I normally beat people, but you've hit a soft spot. . .