Volunteering is Mandatory! Got it?

If you do not volunteer for community service on a regular basis, (and put it on your resume) you are a hateful, self-centered bigot of society! Picking up other people's trash, planting green trees, and urging gang members to stop selling drugs is the least you can do! Feel guilty! Love the Leader. Give of your time, your stinky money, and your talent (that you are not supposed to be using selfishly to make the stinky money anyway).

Civilian Corpse are the duty of all loyal citizens of the Revolution of Compassion! Volunteer now! (We're NOT asking...)


I had some fun with this the other day. I happened to witness a young lady who was leaving her shift at the local fast food restaurant throw her empty soda cup blatently into the rocky landscaping beside her car. Unable to stop myself (I have an impulse disorder) I went over and picked up the cup and knocked on her window (she was with some other friends). She rolled down her window, and I said, "Excuse me, I think you dropped your cup, right?" She was so stunned, she said, "Yeah, thanks..." As I dropped the cup onto her passenger side seat. Great fun I tell you. Great fun. Hopefully that young punk will think twice and glance to both sides next time she wants to litter and let someone else pick up her trash.

Volunteer N.O.W.!!! You useful proles. We have Americorps™ by the collective horns, it's time for all good communists to take a stand for Unity™ & Oneness™, Dear Leader Obama demands it!

Didn't we get this Memo a couple of weeks ago? Of course, mandated refresher courses should also be required. (dear Gulag Comrades, NO offense intended!)
I have been "volunteering" since my delightful internment stay vacation in the People's Gulag and it does bring progressive joy to the soul.

p.s. Are we to pronounce Civilian Corpse as "core" (the old fashioned 'Bush speak" way or "CORP-Z" as dear Leader does?

p.s.s. I have concerns if I asked a prole if they 'dropped a cup', I'd get the cup shoved down my throat or up my *%$#. I admire your internal fortitude!

Kind of like this type of voluntary?

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote: Didn't we get this Memo a couple of weeks ago? Of course, mandated refresher courses should also be required.

Yes, that's correct. All Party members are required to attend a power point presentation on the subject at 7 pm in the mandatorium.

Commissar Casserole Czar, you have earned your smugness quota. Not only did you do your part to clean up the planet, you did so by intimidating and humiliating a lowly prole. Please feel free to wear a self satisfied smirk for the rest of the day.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote: Didn't we get this Memo a couple of weeks ago? Of course, mandated refresher courses should also be required.

Yes, that's correct. All Party members are required to attend a power point presentation on the subject at 7 pm in the mandatorium.

ahh, yes indeed. . . . mandated. . . required . . . these are terms I learned to respect, thanks to the encouragement of our FEMA Enforcers. There's nothing like a cattle prod or that refreshing 3am waterboarding to get one's mind straight. I am most grateful! And most humble apologies for evidently missing that Memo . . . I feel a long night ahead.

Commissar Casserole Czar, you have earned your smugness quota. Not only did you do your part to clean up the planet, you did so by intimidating and humiliating a lowly prole. Please feel free to wear a self satisfied smirk for the rest of the day.

It did feel good! Afterward however, I realized that maybe I had taken my life into my own hands...but really I wasn't THAT brave b/c they were just little tikes with an overinflated sense of being. It's not like they were large Harley types with tattoos of Goracle and "Coexist" bumper stickers! These lil gals were just running off to change their greasy uniforms into something silly for their boyfriends on a Friday night...It will be a brief smirk.

Didn't we get this Memo a couple of weeks ago?

You are correkt, I knew when I vented on this little subject that it would be a repeat...however, I was just overridden with guilt for not having done my part and thinking that I could point my fingers at someone else it would make me feel better.

Also, it is important to note that one must not do random acts of kindness on their own. Good deeds must be approved by The Party and deemed worthy by a board or a commission. Only jobs which randomly selected people randomly select will be available for selection. Of course, of these topics, one may randomly choose whichever they so feel inclined to desire to do. However, IF you rake your neighbors leaves, or pick up their mail when they are on vacation or bring some cookies to new neighbors...these are UNacceptable forms of volunteering. Being kind to people in your own sphere of influnence is nothing...you must get OUT of your bigoted comfort zone and reach out to those that The Party deem less fortunate!

Off:
Technical question: How do I make the little TM next to the necessary terms, like The Party, and how can I be sure when to use it? Thanks!

Good question Czar of savory oven baked entrees.

Type a few words in the comment field and then hit the preview button. You'll be taken to the full text editor screen. Now finish composing and place TM behind words like the Party, the Collective, the Movement, the People, the Revolution, ObamaCare or darn near anything that we think we own. Don't forget to capitalize those words (you don't want to risk a 2 am visit from the Spell Cheka^TM).

Highlight the TM and click the superscript button (X²) and poof, by an act of sheer will, Dear Leader will elevate the letters like the poor and downtrodden.

Thank You^{TM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}

Casserole Czar wrote:

Also, it is important to note that one must not do random acts of kindness on their own. Good deeds must be approved by The Party and deemed worthy by a board or a commission. Only jobs which randomly selected people randomly select will be available for selection. Of course, of these topics, one may randomly choose whichever they so feel inclined to desire to do. However, IF you rake your neighbors leaves, or pick up their mail when they are on vacation or bring some cookies to new neighbors...these are UNacceptable forms of volunteering. Being kind to people in your own sphere of influnence is nothing...you must get OUT of your bigoted comfort zone and reach out to those that The Party deem less fortunate!

Sweet fancy gulags!^TM I'm most grateful that you mentioned all those non-approvals. I must pay more attention to getting out of MY bigoted comfort zone, just as her queenishMochelle Michelle stated. Wasn't it someting like, "Barack won't let you sit on your asses anymore"? She's such a dear.

Proles are not qualified to decide who needs charity. It's far more efficient to give all your money to the Party and let them decide which recipients of State sponsored charity are most deserving.

From each according to his ability, to the State and from the State, to each according to their need.

The State shall be the arbiter of needs.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Good question Czar of savory oven baked entrees.

Type a few words in the comment field and then hit the preview button. You'll be taken to the full text editor screen. Now finish composing and place TM behind words like the Party, the Collective, the Movement, the People, the Revolution, ObamaCare or darn near anything that we think we own. Don't forget to capitalize those words (you don't want to risk a 2 am visit from the Spell Cheka^TM).

Highlight the TM and click the superscript button (X²) and poof, by an act of sheer will, Dear Leader will elevate the letters like the poor and downtrodden.

If you want a smaller one, just type "TM" and put Parentheses(TM) around them.

Many are adept at filing the necessary forms to petition the State for "needy" status. There are long lines of shivering, tattered souls outside of our courthouses each week all giddy to receive their golden egg from the government. They are skilled laborers. Skilled in the methods of milking.

Needy is such a lovely term isn't it? I think we should all want to be needy. It sends warm waves over my bleeding heart. Our hearts are tender for the cause for which we labor. And we do love Labor.

Red is the color of our labor of bleeding love. We are the leaches on the small businesses of tomorrow. We are the vampire bats on the irritating mosquitos of industry and commerce. And we are the pirhannas surrounding the sinking ship of initiative. Go Big Red!

[The enemies of our cause--whom we should slaughter-- believe that individuals will reach out and support one another in their time of need, that friends and those in their sphere of influence will come to the aid of someone less fortunate. But this is a farce...no one is really that good or that smart. Because that would mean that there is a circle of responsibility to one another. This circle must not exist. Circles are impenetrable and must be bitten apart to prevent the strength of it to get in the way or the larger circles we wish to create...the circuitous tangle of the Red Tape Machine(TM)and the chasing after of one another's power and prestige.]

Thanks, KOK! I"ll give it a try.

[Yay! It worked! Thanks!]

Spell Cheka,

Should it be:

"whom we should slaughter"

"who we should slaughter"

"who should be slaughtered" OR

"whom should be slaughtered"

??? It's confusing, no? Perhaps there is a grammar rule for such meanderings???

You were correct, it's "whom we should slaughter".
"Who" is used for the subject; "whom" for the object. In that particular clause, the object in question would be "the enemies of our cause", because WE are DOING the SLAUGHTERING to THEM! (People's Grammar(TM) is thing of beauty, no?)

BTW, it's "piranhas".

This is otherwise a very equal treatise. I recommend your promotion to Czar of Food for Thought(TM)! ...Party-Approved Thought(TM), of course.

We wouldn't want any actual thinking taking place around here.

Komsomolka Olga Katrina wrote: I recommend your promotion to Czar of Food for Thought(TM)! ...Party-Approved Thought(TM), of course.

An excellent suggestion Olga. Make a motion at the next Party Congress and I'll second it.

Thank you, both!

Off:
I am proud that we have our own Spell Checka! Progressive comments are known for being senseless blather with poor grammar and a lack of any kind of respect for the written word. But here at The Cube, we have a plethora of intelligent, well-spoken adults--not bratty children who havn't cracked a dictionary in years. What a pleasure it is to be brushing shoulders with such people!

I know, I'm gushing...

Consider it done! As resident Czar czar, I can have Deer Leader make you one of his recess appointments, to avoid the Repube-lican c*ckblock.
I dub thee:
Casserole Czar
Culinary Curmudgeon of Party-Approved Food for Thought
Chief Chef of Change &
Collective Crumbcake

And if you have a Mac just press ™ option + 2 to get ™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™

And then there's Mac ©©©©©©©© option + G
Oh, and Mac ®® option + R

But alas as progs we love a pithy Mac, yet the proles who pay our bills are more apt for the slack or Windows. And in such a case we must point to the place where the keystrokes are made for those who must pay....

Ctrl+Alt+C=© (The Copyright Symbol)
Alternatively, type an open parenthesis – type a c and close the parenthesis. MS Word automatically creates the symbol.

Ctrl+Alt+T=TM (The Trademark Symbol)
Alternatively, type an open parenthesis – type tm and close the parenthesis. MS Word automatically creates the symbol.

Ctrl+Alt+R=® (The Registered Symbol)
Alternatively, type an open parenthesis – type r and close the parenthesis. MS Word automatically creates the symbol.

OR

* For the Copyright symbol (©) Hold the Alt key down and type 0169.
* For the Trademark symbol ™ Hold the Alt key down and type 0153.
* For the Registered symbol (®) Hold the Alt key down and type 0174.


So the choice is all yours as long as you choose within the public options we muse.

Hail Obama!

RR,

Thank you for the many options...I feel like I'm in a bread line getting to choose from white, wheat, sourdough or french instead of just moldy, moldy, moldy, or moldy! I've never felt such an abundance--at least, well, since our glorious society took over...But it's all worth it...every single sacrifice is nothing compared to the exceeding value of the utopia.

Czar Czar,
I thank thee for the many Glorious titles! I will wear them with the appropriate level of pride. And may I say, that your stunning good looks are a credit to The Party! Watch out, or Dear Leader may appoint you as Czar of Reading Bedtime Stories!

RR, does your Mac provide the glorious red communist symbol? If so, I'll gladly dump my greedy capitalist PC or something more Progressive.

Comrade Frau Frau, I only use the socialist approve Ubuntu operational system here at Obama Wombat Factory headquarters.

Comrade CCCP, Your notorious thank you's are rather suspicious. As a made-prog we prefer to take what is Rightfully™ mine ours without thank you or apology. It was owed to us all along anyway, before the evil kapitalisths produced discovered took it all away.