Noble Comrades, Esteemed Commissars, and Exalted Pinkie; It is with a heavy heart that I must call for the denouncement and even show trial for one of our own. After discussion with DDR Kamerad, we have determined that the sins of Comrade Blokhayev are not only worthy of denouncement, but even of a show trial!

First off, before presenting the evidence and charges I hereby appoint myself to be Comrade Blokhayev's defense attorney. I am suitable for this given my deep knowledge of the crimes committed, as well as in my role of Commissar of Time(TM) in which I can locate, plant, recover and examine evidence of past and future crimes.

On the First of April, 2010 I witnessed Comrade Blokhayev engaging in SEC approved self stimulation activities. However, those activities were done to pictures of the thought criminals John McCain and Ronald Reagan. After witnessing this disgusting display of hate mongering, I noted and logged the incident, and continued my observations.

Three days later, he was again committing crimes against The People(TM) by FILING AN INCOME TAX RETURN AND INCLUDING PAYMENT! Proof that he is a wealthy kulak hoarding wealth and stealing money from the people. We all know a true socialist only gets MONEY BACK on taxes they never paid, as opposed to ACTUALLY PAYING THEM!

Then he got into a HUMMER with an "I Barack for Nobody" sticker on the back, and returned later with GASOLINE for his LAWN MOWER! Comrades, Blokhayev DESTROYS THE ENVIRONMENT AND CAN AFFORD A LAWN! Disgusting...

I grew ill from this display of KKKaptialist excess and tipped off several other Comrades. I expect future reports shortly.

I call now for a session of People's Court! I nominate DDR Kamerade for Prosecution, Pinkie for Judge, and call upon all Commissars, Generals, Marshals, and other assorted non-proles to serve as jury! LET THE TRIAL BEGIN!

These infractions, misdemeanors and felonies must be dealt with forthwith, lest we end up in toleration by other proles of the payment of taxes verses the receiving of stipends, as I, being a welfare queen, have been so accustomed to receiving (and it's time I was given more, don't you know? I could use a new iPod).

Therefore, I DENOUNCE Comrade Blokhayev for all of his misdeeds, misdemeanors and infractions!

I think an important question needs to be raised here. True, Blokhayev did indeed fill out a tax form and did indeed include payments with said form, but even Dear Leader and his beloved Cabinet fill out tax forms and include payments. No, the question of essence is DID HE CHEAT ON HIS TAXES IN AN APPROVED PARTY MANNER? We of the Party MUST pay our taxes; I am informed by reliable informers that it is patriotic to pay taxes, and ever-increasing taxes at that. That being said, it is the duty of the Made Prog to cheat like a sunnufuhbitch, following the glorious example of Tiny Timothy Geithner.

So, Blokhayev...did you tip-toe through the Turbotax a la Tiny Timothy, or did you blow the gaff and pay in full? If the former, I call for an end to the show trial and immediate appointment of Comrade Blokhayev as Deputy Junior Undersecretary of the Treasury. If the latter, I call for scorpions to be dropped into Comrade Blokhayev's underwear.

I must agree with the pickled brain in a jar. You must file a form whether you made money or not. You are "entitled" to claim deductions and as we know, everything allowed by the State is mandatory.

No good Prog should ever "earn" the money he gets. But having gotten that money it's only fair that he kicks a percentage of his spoils up the line to the IRS (Inner Party Redistribution Service).

As for his stock trading activities, I have reasoned that short selling is progressive since you are appropriating the investment of a capitalist pig and selling it behind his back in the hope that you can replace it next month for less than what you got for it and the capitalist swine is none the wiser. Short selling destroys businesses faster than Obama.

Regarding the lawnmower indictment, unless he can prove he was buying gasoline for an illegal immigrant who makes his living in the lawn care industry I can see no reason not to give him a fair trial and find him guilty.

Hmmm, careful there Zampolet, as a certain wise, thoughtful Maximum Leader said recently, "I mean-uhhhhh, at some point, I think you make enough money". It is most imperative that you deduce what that sum is, and make just enough to stay under that amount, OR make a sufficiently large donation to Maximum's campaign, in which case you can make cash through the nose. LIVE IT UP!

*rushes so fast to mic to denounce anyone forgets negro dialect*

But it isn't about The Dear Leader, Obama protect us, that is important, just the serious nature of the charges against Blokhayev that is important!

Off to the gulag with the criminal! after show trial, of course.

We need to look into the seriousness of these charges.


I found a criminal recording device that was in possession of above named criminal, after he refused to pay to my Akorn Fo' Duh Chillin's Fund. Odd, that he'd keep this incriminating evidence, no matter.

Blokhayev called Marshal Pupovich delusional, our Hero of the Cube Pup delusional?
(no beet ration for you poor Blokhayev)

Zampolit Blokhayev in a secret recording wrote:CLICK! "The comrade PUP is known for his bouts of odd behavior and delusions. CLICK!

What about that?

I also have more evidence against the guilty criminal defendant.

Blokhayev harmed the Mother Language by using *gasp* ROBO-RUSSIAN SPEAK!

Zampolit Blokhayev in a secret recording wrote:CLICK! *squeeelz* CLICK!

Ah, he said, "And give what to red neck to the Americans" in Robo-Russian, YOU CAN HEAR IT CLEARLY FOR YOURSELF!

Zampolit Blokhayev in a secret recording wrote:CLICK! *squeeelz* CLICK!

(Blok, you should'a shared Primer Betty's medications with me and MEOW when you had the chance.)

Here it is, clear as day:

Zampolit Blokhayev in a secret recording wrote:CLICK! И дает qu' к l' красный подход к американцам CLICK!

This criminal use of Mother Tongue by Blokhayev was directly responsible for Comrade Secretary Hilary's bad button joke.

I also know that Blok is senior VP of NRA!

Zampolit Blokhayev in a secret recording wrote:CLICK! "Damn! Obama changes his ethic group! What's next? Fat, Socialist, Film makers, join the NRA WITH ME?" CLICK!

See Photshop of Blok with Moses, inciting Bitter Clingers to riot:

These are very very serious charges of very serious nature that Blokhayev must answer, (or give good bribes.)


Da Peeps' Rapper
Comrade C2G босяк

And makin' thugs out you suckas.
From the cradle to the grave.


(must rest and enjoy Blok's stash of meds I pilfered.)

My client protests his innocence, and claims that he is not racist for questioning the word of Da Peep's Rapper...

Sadly the gasoline was for his own personal use, but in his defense he says the station attendant might have been questioned under Arizona law. Furthermore my client vigorously denies paying his fair share on taxes, and has deductions for 37 children, a pimp and a drug house to prove it.

I denounce the finance criminal Blokhayev!

He has indeed submitted tax payments for OPM received! It is obvious he was sleeping through the "How to run a business' (more suspicious activity?) class taken at the local ACORN education center.

And he cannot blame our esteemed ACORN leader Bertha Lewis! She has been leading the fight against FAUX news and the thought criminal Breitbart! We know the "alleged" videos were dubbed Dr Video CDs obtained online!

The shame! The Lies!

Now I know it is no coincidence that finance criminal Blokhayev and the thought criminal Breitbart resemble each other in appearance! They are indeed the same person!

Notice the resemblances! Breitbart with the FAUX news conspirators!


And below, finance criminal Blokhayev, on the right, before the transformation! And look where he appears 1st! FAUX NEWS!!!!


There is only one thing we can do comrades! Condemn and execute the traitorous double agent Blokhayev!

I DENOUNCE Comrade Blokhayev for defying our commitment to equality by having more pounds than the average Prole!

I heard it said of him, that he felt he was more than making up for it by the loss of his hair. This smacks of a black market capitalist scheme, a veritable mockery of our Dear Chairman's excellently equal(TM) programs to substitute lucre with air and doctors with revenue officials!

Such affrontery to our highly equal philosophies must not go unpunished!

Then he got into a HUMMER with an "I Barack for Nobody" sticker on the back, and returned later with GASOLINE for his LAWN MOWER! Comrades, Blokhayev DESTROYS THE ENVIRONMENT AND CAN AFFORD A LAWN! Disgusting...

Old Blokhayev isn't scalping the sod around his crib with just any run of the mill grass slicer Comrades.

Kangaroo Court is now in session! Let the show trial begin!

I denounce Blokhayev for using the peoples revolutionary upgrade as an excuse for not posting!!!

My Client maintains his innocence, and pleads that he is simply unable to post right now due to impacted bowels and an inability to get in touch with his inner progressive. Meanwhile, he asks that comrades look underneath their pillows tonight for various ahh gifts....

BAH! I did not find fresh, out of season salmon! Just some facebook smiley face print out!

Bring the criminal against the state to face his accusers! We must protect the people!

Comrades! I am truly honored to be put on show trail!

The charges against me are true! I am indeed guilty! However, I must point out some factual errors.

Yes, I did file a tax return with the Inner Party Redistribution Service™. But, I did receive a refund. No, I did not use TurboTaxedEnoughAlready! As a matter of fact, Timmy Geithner prepared my tax return for me!!! So we know for certain that I am ENTITLED to a refund. And NO YOU CANNOT HAVE ANY OF IT!!! IT'S MINE!!! YOU HEAR ME!!! MINE!!! MINE!!! MINE!!! (Damn! I sound like Meow!)

I do not own a John Deere riding lawn mower. However, I do need one. I am collecting donations towards acquiring one. This is not a request! So, hand over the moola!!! As a member of the Inner Circle™ I AM ENTITLED TO A JOHN DEERE RIDING LAWN MOWER!!!

It is true that I have acquired a Hummer. This acquisition was approved by the Politburo. What? Don't like it? TOUGH! Mrs. Blokhayeva loves it! She uses it to haul our "unwashed masses" to and from Young Pioneers meetings. So what if she ran over a few proles along the way. They easily peeled off the grill. But fear not! The Hummer is fine!

As for the charges by Da Peeps Rapper, Comrade Colonel 7.62 is korrekt! I am NOT a racist ... I detest everyone on an equal opportunity basis! After all, its the fair thing to do.

And don't be dissin' my home girl Bertha Lewis!!! She is the star ho' in my stable! So NO PLAYER HATIN'!!!

Clearly, you all can see that I am very much in touch with my inner prog. I talk like a prog. I whine like a prog. I am selfish and uncaring like a prog.

Again my Comrades!!! It is indeed a great pleasure to be singled out by The Party™ to be denounced and put on show trail! The honor, like everything else, IS MINE!!! MINE!!! MINE!!!

--
Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev
Commissar, 1st Chief Directorate for The Party™ Approved Margarita Research and Operations
Grand Inquisitor, The Reformed Church of Latter-Day Climatology (The Goremons)

I advise my client to being distributing revealing gifts evidence also I demand to know who will be judge at this trial? And the prosecutor? While my client grovels and makes proper progressive noises, we still lack a full compliment of court personnel!

Colonel 7.62 wrote:I advise my client to being distributing revealing gifts evidence also I demand to know who will be judge at this trial? And the prosecutor? While my client grovels and makes proper progressive noises, we still lack a full compliment of court personnel!

You could always denounce them. I'm certain a room is available for them at the Karl Marx Treatment Center.

Oh who to denounce, who to denounce, who to denounce.

I DENOUNCE ALL INNER CIRCLE MEMBERS WHO HAVE NOT JOINED IN AT THIS TIME! (Except for Pinkie, I still have a dent in the back of my head from the last whacking. Seems her shovel also can travel through space and time...*sigh*)

Yeah, where is everyone?

Mr. Rooocat, if you'd stop slapping around that fuzzy ball on a long spring for a moment you'd notice that I've been quietly sitting at my computer thingy carefully crafting photoshop evidence to use in the trial. Of course if the accused should make a suitable bribe, said evidence could easily be deleted.

I saw him!! I denounce him, his cat, his neighbor, the girl he had a crush on in 8th grade, his postal worker, and anyone who had ever served him brie!!!

And while we are denouncing I denounce Chedoh!! Make them bunkmates in the Gulag!

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Mr. Rooocat, if you'd stop slapping around that fuzzy ball on a long spring for a moment you'd notice that I've been quietly sitting at my computer thingy carefully crafting photoshop evidence to use in the trial. Of course if the accused should make a suitable bribe, said evidence could easily be deleted.

My absent client maintains his innocence and is currently lacking in bribes; having paid me off to create an escape wormhole in which he is currently cowering hiding from Revolutionary Justice!

Absent client! Unheard of! Stalin would never stand for a criminal to take over 5 days to speak at his own show trial--unless he had a note from the Firing Squad Commissar excusing his tardiness due to death.

How do you expect us to get new political titles with this poorly run show trial. Obviously, Blokhayev is in running for Obama's Commissar of Timely Action and Extra-5-year Plan Planning Board.

Enough excuses, we need action before next 5 year plan is over.

Damnit! I DENOUNCE MY CLIENT! Is he meddling with 5 year, extra 5 year, and third 5 year plans again? DON'T MAKE ME COLLAPSE THAT WORMHOLE INTO BRUNO'S BEDROOM BLOKHAYEV!

Colonel 7.62 wrote: My absent client maintains his innocence and is currently lacking in bribes; having paid me off to create an escape wormhole in which he is currently cowering hiding from Revolutionary Justice!

Very well then. Since no Party mandated bribe is forthcoming I'm compelled to hand over this evidence to the court.

Comrade Blokhayev (where ever you are) can you explain this photo that was found in the State Security files and dated Feb. 12, 2009? Comrade, who are the people in this photo? And what is the meaning of that T-shirt?

My client wishes to make funny gagging noises and wonders if anyone would like bags full of large, unmarked bills?

Come to think of it, I haven't had much communication with my client myself. Most unusual. But we still have no judge either... Comrade Whoopie; since you are so good at finding evidence, will you be the judge?

Comrade Colonel, I would be honored to act as judge. I believe everyone deserves a fair trial before being found guilty.

The court is now in session! (slamming gavel which looks suspiciously like an ice ax)

Noble Judge, Esteemed Leader of The Court! My still absent client would wish me to enter this large sack of OPM into evidence in his defense!

Comrade Cradle to Grave, you be da' peep's Prosecutor?

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Noble Judge, Esteemed Leader of The Court! My still absent client would wish me to enter this large sack of OPM into evidence in his defense!

Comrade Cradle to Grave, you be da' peep's Prosecutor?

The court recognizes the Defense's bribe and finds it to be quite large indeed (rummaging through a sack of crisp new $100 bills that look like North Korean counterfeits).

While I understand new evidence may appear quite suddenly, I would beg this court withhold judgement until at least Saturday, maybe Sunday (in fact if you try to do otherwise, it will be my duty as Defense and Commissar of Time to make sure that judgement is passed on one of those days) so that my client may finish infiltrating a local group of capitalists. Meanwhile, I do wish to remind the prosecutor and judge that for a reasonable price, I may offer various time travel services to observe and spy on my client and his activities.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Mr. Rooocat, if you'd stop slapping around that fuzzy ball on a long spring for a moment you'd notice that I've been quietly sitting at my computer thingy carefully crafting photoshop evidence to use in the trial. Of course if the accused should make a suitable bribe, said evidence could easily be deleted.

Would my ration for a case of Russian Standard Platinum Vodka suffice, comrade?

--
ZB

Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:
Would my ration for a case of Russian Standard Platinum Vodka suffice, comrade?
--
ZB

Deal!... Oh my, it seems my hard drive just crashed. Darn, lost all my files.

OH MY!

I seem to have discovered an old stash of several dozen cases of Russian Standard Platinum Vodka that was given to me a few years ago by my protoges in the Young Kommunists Democrats League.

Certainly Comrade C2G would like to partake of a couple of cases, yes?

--
ZB

Thank you comrade judge for the well deserved appointment of me as People's Prosecutor of Party's Beverages and Enemies Of The Peoples.

I lay before this glorious court the required documents and papers, including my USSA long form-ID10T required for action as prosecutor in this court.

(Here also, Comrade Judge and Party Redistributor of Confiscated Evidence Of Value, I give to you the remains of Blago's, err, Criminal Blokhayev's medication stash for you to examine in your private people's chamber.)

For The Greater Good, Criminal Blokyayev must Shovel Earth in Gulag until The Progressive World of Next Tuesday™.

(Oh, snap! This Vodka from that nice Zampolit Blkhayev is really good! How much can I drink FAST?)

I fursther more statche thash the sheriousness of the charches againsht thish pershon, who has toiled tireoushly fur sha shtate be promoted to *HIK* sherve fur life shentancsh in offishe of Obama's Commishar of Timely Actshion and Extra-5-year Plan Planning Board.

*HIK*

I enter into evidensh the remainsh of thish case of vodka, and rest on my case of evidenshiary party drink.

Comrades, I was present when that video was made. Red Square had just finished trying to moderate his Current Truth thread "Everyone Draw a POSITIVE Mohammed Day."