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Love Over Ice, Ice, Baby

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After a hard day shoveling beets in the snow of Texazistan , Jackalopelipsky is ready to snuggle under her thread bare blanket to read some romance stories until the call for “Candles out, comrades.”



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There he was, tall and bigly, wearing a full beard and a mop of dark hair looming large in his future presidential polling as AOC slid upon the ICE protested concrete. "Bloop", she said as she tried to recover from tumbling down completely in The People's esteem. JD's manly chest met her front and center before she found her hot, fat latina bootie stuck like a warm wet tongue licking a frozen political poll in the bleak political resistance to America. JD's taunt, "You'll get your eye shot out," hit her deer eyes in the target, brimming with tears of regret as their dripping wet moisture attached her latina bootie to ICE, forever.

https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/5 ... ntial-bid/

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And getting cuffed gets her wet and tingly.


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There she was, drinking some Chardonnay, watching Fox News, laying back on her Dead Salmon mohair velvet sofa when she really saw Jesse Watters. His masculine demeanor attracted her attention. Jennifer was smitten. It was then that she put down her cat and realized how toxic masculinity turned her on in ways in which she was unfamiliar. Mystic rhythms within her body asserted themselves and she realized she really wanted Jesse. She wanted him to do things to her with a longing that wine and a cat could never fulfill. Her fingers toyed with the Chinese handcuffs Ivan Stakhanovets Amazon Primed to her door. Jennifer was trapped by manliness, forever. Her bodice ripped as she sighed in the flickering light of her bigly screen tv .


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That was stirring, colleague 'Pelipsky. I felt compelled to post your excerpt (slightly edited for general audience) in response to Jennifer's video.


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That was so romantic, Red Square. I could actually hear the fabric of Jennifer’s Christian Dior bodice tearing all the way down here in Texazistan. Sigh…

Of course, you are so korrect to keep involvement of Ivan’s purchase/delivery of Jennifer’s handcuffs via Amazon Prime’d to remain within the TPC SUBWH confines. Uninitiated aren’t ready for that information as yet. Not even the American Librarian Ass’s can handle Ivan’s contribution to Jennifer’s awakening to masculinity.

Likewise, the Dead Abomination from the Deep color of Jennifer’s mohair velvet sofa might pinpoint Red Salmon’s contribution to Food Pyramid and cause undue suffering and distress.


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Gavin trembled hearing the reverberating tread of Trump Rex striding through the corridors of Davos. The earth shook under Gavin’s tiny feet as he struggled to find composure, while expressing his feelings to a flightless gathering of DoDo journalists recording his middle school boyish remarks. The shadow of Trump Rex’s gargantuan frame sent shivers down Gavin’s limp spinal column. If ever there was a boy desiring to be impregnated by a real man, Gavin was that boy. Boy/Man love was the illicit act Gavin craved deep inside, simmering like a slow boiling, primordial tar pit.

Trump Rex’s enormous testicles enveloped Gavin’s ears like a pair of Dino leather Louis Vuitton bags, making smacking sounds upon his ear drums. Grateful for the foresight to pack his Monica Lewinsky knee pads, the tiny boy fell upon his knees. The DoDo journalists covered their eyes as an ActBlue mist fogged their minds, as well as their cameras. They knew DNCMSM-NOW! censors would never approve broadcast of this interview. The sound of Gavin’s moans, emanating from the ActBlue mist unsettled their narrative. Even a journalist gaggle of DoDos knew their flightless effort was dead on the runway before take-off.


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Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Jackalopelipsky,

At first I was alarmed that I had been rendered lifeless in your account of the amorous adventures of Jennifer.  Then I toggled the play button.  You were most merciful.  

Abomination From The Deep,

Red Salmon

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Red Salmon wrote:
1/20/2026, 6:29 pm
Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Jackalopelipsky,

At first I was alarmed that I had been rendered lifeless in your account of the amorous adventures of Jennifer.  Then I toggled the play button.  You were most merciful.  

Abomination From The Deep,

Red Salmon

You’re marked SAFE in this heated bodice ripping love story, Red Salmon. You’re CURED!! Never forget that when traveling deep ocean trenches.

However, since Ivan #2 hasn’t been heard from, it’s probably safe to say he’s purging his Amazon Prime’d purchase history like Hillary used her Rose Law Firm Arkansas shedder. If only he could get his tractor barn sized fingers out of those handcuffs…

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Once Gavin’s been done by Trump Rex, Alex Soros seems so small and insignificant.



 
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