News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive)

[Margaret]

Democrats set up new study to focus on how they can manipulate men to vote for them.

[Margaret]

The taxpayers will fund the rope with which we will hang them.

[Margaret]

Freedom dies in Stockholm Syndrome

[Margaret]

America can't have immigration law because January 6th!

[Margaret]

15 minutes of fame now turned into 15 seconds of fame.

[Margaret]

Modern-day Jacobins to launch French Revolution 2 against a “King”

[Margaret]

Iran agrees to unconditional surrender on one condition.

[Margaret]

CNN takes you inside its destroyed sister station in Iran for an exclusive report.

[Groucho Marxist]

Iran vows halal response

[Margaret]

In the aftermath of Iran's attack on Qatar, Trump and Israel back down; seek peace

[Margaret]

Anonymous unnamed sources say the only way to interpret Top Secret so-you-can’t-know-if-they’re-correct-or-not intelligence report on the attack on Iran…

[Groucho Marxist]

Iran states they have destroyed 14 GBU-57 warheads and dares America to send more

[Margaret]

Online hooliganism in many European countries remains epidemic despite police efforts

[Margaret]

Deporting illegal aliens is gerrymandering.

[Colonel Obyezyana]

DOJ, State Working to Deputize National Guard as Immigration Grudges

[Margaret]

Comrade Mamdani beckons you.

[Margaret]

Zohran Mamdani is NOT a communist he is Democratic Socialist.

Communism is where the government is controlled by the workers. Democratic Socialism is where the workers control the means of production and the superstructure of the State is controlled by the workers.

I hope I've cleared that up and you don't succumb to the vicious slanders.

[Margaret]

Monthly jobs report in: Real jobs for real Americans works.

[Margaret]

Economists say job growth likely weaker than it is

[Margaret]

Biden, in rare remarks since presidency, warns his lies are coming undone.

[Margaret]

USAID funded study proved drinking and posting do not mix, concluded "You should not get your keyboard drunk..... hic."

[Margaret]

Before Donald Trump weather forecasts were always perfect and never erred.

[Margaret]

Ballots not bullets. Votes not violence.



 

[Margaret]

"Were you asked or told to lie about Joe Biden's health?"

"Doctor/patient privilege! 5th amendment!" Walks out.

[Margaret]

Biden's WH was such a den of corruption even his physician is taking the 5th.

[Margaret]

The workers and peasants of NYC rejoice Mamdani's populism, spontaneously rise up as one

[Margaret]

“How do I hate thee, let me count the ways.” First poem by social justice poetess Karen Karen Karen wins prestigious TPC Literary Award.

[Margaret]

People who fight against MAGA should stop buying MAGA Millions lottery tickets already

[Margaret]

Apparently the “right side of history” looks like Kristallnacht

[Margaret]

Cooking the numbers is Manmade Climate Change

[Margaret]

Donald Trump renames Mexican Coca-Cola American Coca-Cola

[Margaret]

The Late Show to be replaced by The Too Late Show with nothing but the sound of waves hitting the shore to sleep by.

[Margaret]

My favorite recipes for cooking Big Bird by The American Cookbook out now at your favorite bookstore brick-and-mortar and online

[Groucho Marxist]

The Pulitzer Prize committee has refused to rescind the prizes given to the New York Times and Washington Post for their Russian Collusion reporting, but in a conciliatory move they have decreed both prizes be renamed for Best Political Fiction.

[Margaret]

Democrats introduce new Constitutional Amendment to make illegal immigrants count as 3/5ths of a person for census

[hdr22]

Don't believe the lies about me. I didn't do it and you can't prove anything anyway.

[Kookamala and Tim]

Major announcement!

Don't miss Kookamala's new book coming out in September 107 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

It begins on Chapter 11.

[Margaret]

Global Warming is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

[Margaret]

Mel Brooks new remake of Young Frankenstein to replace brain jar labeled “Abnormal” with jar labeled “Biden’s Brain.”

[Ivan Betinov]

Mel Brooks new remake of Young Frankenstein to replace brain jar labeled “Abnormal” with jar labeled “Biden’s Brain.”

Hey! I resemble that remark!

[Margaret]

Our time has produced a new logical fallacy: The appeal to groupthink, or argumentum ad consensum pecoris.

[Margaret]

South Park season 27 wins the Onion of Animated Comedy award.

[Margaret]

Socialist KoolAid tastes terrible and you don't even get seconds.

[Margaret]

From the news pages: Filmmakers claim late ‘Superman’ actor Christopher Reeve would have opposed Donald Trump

[Margaret]

Cracker Barrel changes name to Crack Pot

[Margaret]

The People's Cube introduces new AI assistant: Zohran the Magnificent. Unsure about which of the myriad A.I. assistants out there is right for you? Try Zohran the Magnificent, the only current-truth assistant that uses every logical fallacy known to back up your arguments with the most brazen appeal to AI authority.

Try Zohran the Magnificent today.

[Margaret]

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary Current Truth

[Margaret]

Democrat Party tries to regain momentum with a democrat party sorority girl recruitment-style video, turns into AWFL cat fight instead

[Margaret]

The Left doesn’t create a society of citizens, it creates a society of hostages with Stockholm Syndrome. And if you resist being hostage to them and having Stockholm Syndrome and you fight back they will destroy you.

[Margaret]

If it were the guns things like this would have been going on since there was a 2nd Amendment.

[Margaret]

How do you legitimate arbitrary government? Call it Democracy.

[Margaret]

The day AI answers a question with “I don’t know.” rather than make up an answer is the day you can trust AI.

[Margaret]

Artificial Intelligence to be renamed Stupid Plagiarism

[Groucho Marxist]

AI generators continue to require users to prove that they're human

[Margaret]

The only thing worse than being exploited by capitalism is not being exploited by capitalism.

[Groucho Marxist]

Democrat's protests were successful.. We still have no kings

[Red Square]

Caribbean tourism board launches new slogan: Come for the beaches, stay for the ballistics

[Red Square]

- NPR listeners survey finds joy highest when pre-approved by experts

- Portland city council reclassifies mistletoe as ‘opt-in shrub,’ recommends non-contact gratitude nod instead

- Berkeley equity board replaces ‘silent night’ with ‘consent-first night’; hands out free 'don’t-touch-me' bells

- HR department replaces mistletoe with QR code linking to consent checklist and grievance hotline

[Red Square]

Media shocked to learn 'global intifada' means killing people around the globe

Harvard upgrades antisemitism from 'unfounded concern' to 'complex context'

University officials condemn violence, urge students to avoid 'harmful specificity,' 'jumping to adjectives,' 'noticing patterns,' or 'assigning motives' to motives

NPR rebrands antisemitism as 'community tensions,' adds somber piano music

Anchor: hate is wrong, but also 'understandable' under certain editorial guidelines

Panel concludes “from the river to the sea” refers to nature hikes and inclusive trail access

[Margaret]

"We will replace the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism." - Zohran Mamdani

“You will no longer be encumbered by freedom for I shall rule over you by the devine right of socialism.”

[Margaret]

Socialism is the idea that you can scrap the rule of law, replace it with rule of man over man, and have paradise.

[Margaret]

In the aftermath of Maduro raid Tim Walz worries he may be next.

[Margaret]

NYT names communist Venezuela world's sexiest corpse

[Margaret]

Maduro claims he’s transgender, demands to be in woman’s prison, changes name to Fawn Rainforest

[Margaret]

Civil wrongs cannot put on the dress of civil rights and be civil rights, they are still civil wrongs

[Margaret]

It's amazing how much right-wing discourse is just them pretending to not understand their betters, thus making discourse impossible.

[Margaret]

Pinocchio caught in another lie, given four Walz

[Margaret]

Next stop Next Tuesday

[Margaret]

Star Trek: Starfleet Academy to be renamed Star Collapse: Star Collapse Academy.

At the Star Collapse Academy young cadets learn how to make tens of millions of dollars of production money collapse into a black hole never to be seen again.

[Margaret]

Leftwing civil rights has gone from being defenders against Lynch mobs to becoming Lynch mobs that hunt down their enemy-of-the-day even in churches.

[Margaret]

“We have to make people uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable,” the modern Left’s euphemism for terrorize.

[Margaret]

America wasn’t stolen, it was redistributed.

[Margaret]

The fraud now is nothing compared to the fraud possible with nationalized healthcare.

[Margaret]

[Margaret]

Saying that the socialism that was authoritarian tyranny in other countries wasn't real socialism makes as much sense as it would be to say the slavery in America wasn't real slavery.

[Margaret]

In an empire built by lies abject fealty to lies is one's only hope of survival.

[Margaret]

"Smash the four olds." - Chairman Walz

Walzists storm the streets in new Cultural Revolution

[Margaret]

Democrats ask: What is the best gun to take to a peaceful protest?

[Margaret]

Local Neighborhood Defense of the Revolution in Minneapolis using Signal worried they might be charged under RICO.

[Margaret]

Walz accuses Trump of having his own private army while he uses his own private army to battle against federal law enforcement.