Spring Access

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Comrades, Spring has arrived. However due to the ever-bloating bureaucracy in the USSA and elsewhere and increasing terrorism, higher security measures have become necessary.

I hate to spring this on you but access to spring has been restricted until further notice and will be granted only to those who successfully complete this captcha (nouns or verbs only, adjectives not accepted):

If you get stuck, Current Truth™ may spring from a good dictionary.

NOTE: Keep your warm coat handy—if the Captcha doesn't work, Winter will continues for you until Next Tuesday™

[jackalopelipsky]

Jackalopelipsky is so excited about tonight's big Winter Sock Burning Party to celebrate winter's end and the beginning of spring. These are the pair of winter socks the jackalope will be tossing into the communal fire pit.

Afterwards, every comrade will be issued a pair of USSA Gulag flip flops for Spring/Summer Uniformity and shovel ready work.

The rumor is there might even be a double ration of Ivan's Beet/ Meat Vodka, but that might just be prison yard hopeful whispering. Regardless, Jackalopelipsky baked some cookies for the party.

[Margaret]

[Ivan the Stakhanovets]

The lovely Mrs. Stakhanovets told me I looked like a breath of spring.

Well, anyway that's what she meant.

She actually said I looked like "the end of a long hard winter..."

[Colonel Obyezyana]

The lovely Mrs. Stakhanovets told me I looked like a breath of spring.

Well, anyway that's what she meant.

She actually said I looked like "the end of a long hard winter..."

There are several ways to take that but the first picture it paints in my mind is right there in the gutter: