Comrade Whoopie wrote:Leninka, all the gulag gals occupy a most equal place in my heart, without exception.
Loving the whole lot of 'em equally without a special preference to any particular unit is the idea at the core of sharing everything equally in the Progressive World of Next Tuesday!
As Professor Freud might say, that's what puts the greatest sex appeal into collectivism for all the mom's basement-dwelling proglodytes of the otherwise individualistic and selfish Amerikkka.
This video reminded me of some of the trends in this thread. Whoopie saves the day with a big icepick and he has a scar on the head to prove it. He is Gorbachev!
My son showed me this video on YouTube, saying that this has got to be the funniest music video around. And then he asked, "Is this video an example of what Russians do when they have freedom?" He grew up in America, so he has to ask.
[OFF]
Oh yes, I posted that video a couple of months ago (how did you miss it RS?). I thought it really expressed the long suffering Russian peoples longing for consumerism.
[ON]
I especially liked the Fraulein look-alike scrubbing the floor. I wish I could get her to scrub the floor like that in our cubicle here at Party HQ (sorry boss but your boots leave scuff marks on the polished marble).
Just to make sure we are all on one korrekt page -
There already is a Party-approved definition of Competition in the People's Glossary. If any other definition is similar to it, it is superfluous. If it contradicts the existing definition, it is dangerous and must be purged from the minds and airbrushed from all records.
Competition
Barbaric, insensitive ritual steeped in social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive in our society. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy, moral, and prosperous as a collective. A progressive society of the future, steeped in diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism, shall have no winners. Everyone will be a loser, which in our book means ethical team player.
That rule, of course, does not apply to Pinkie or any other high-ranking Party member who make their own rules in correlation with the Current Truth and related political undercurrents.
It's becoming obvious to me that you're all wondering why the hell I don't declare Whoopie the Whinner and Whack him accordingly. That is because we had to go to court to get an order that would allow the polls to stay open beyond the deadline so as to allow the dead to get in line and vote.
We are also trying to round up some buses so we can bus in the homeless and give them a chance to make their voices heard. Additionally, we have large pockets of people in purple shirts who have yet to visit all the polls. As you can imagine, it does take time to move from one poll to another before you can say you've visited them all.
But Whoopie, regardless of the outcome, may you always remember this: You don't need to win a dubious distinction to be distinguished as a loser.
Comrade Whoopie wrote:I might point out that winning this dubious distinction actually distinguishes me as a loser.
Comrade Tooorisky wrote:Comrades,
In the interest of fairness and equality, everyone should get a whack, or two!
Great idea Tooorisky, I'll see if I can persuade Pinkie to give you an extra helping of whacks.
(which part of your head needs remodeling?)
Comrade Whoopie,You wont have to ask very hard, I was guaranteed "special treatment" for the idea. If it is any consolation,the fact this has blossomed as it has is, clearly, her fault. I even had the temerity to suggest she give herself a whack.The only areas of my head that need cosmetic surgery depends on where the impact points are located.
Shovel whacking may not be as bad as some other things Pinkie can do to a comrade. For example, in this new caption contest, our security camera have caught Commissarka Pinkie and Sister Massively Opiated doing one of their pranks in the Bunker, involving an industrial fan and a barrel of feces.
I understand that body removal and composting may be tiresome and girls gotta have some fun, but not at the cost of damaging state property!
Whoopie, it looks to me as if you're trying to suck up to me with these beetcake photos and thus avoid a shovel-whack--while Red Square seems to be agitating for the services of his Whacking Boy, in which case you stand to get a shovel upside the head anyway.
But you needn't worry for the time being--I've decided to stretch out this contest a little longer so as to keep getting federal funds. The minute I proclaim a winner (or loser, depending on one's viewpoint), the money stops.
It could be Pinkie. I have the proof on the back of my skull that her shovel is the only thing other than myself that can freely transcend space and time. Why could she have not shown up to complete a five year plan, and then come back to whack Whoopie?
Pinkie, if I was trying to suck up to you I'd give you the classic WWII gift of chocolates and nylons (in these modern times that would be a Godiva sampler and pantyhose that fit).
Besides we all know that there's no buying you off, you're incorruptible. Even Red Square fears your steely justice.
There needs to be some serious scientific inquiry into the attraction of Pinkie's Shovel to human heads instead of dirt.
There should be some stimulus funds available for such a worthwhile endeavor.
As the shovel approaches the head it moves into hyper acceleration reaching speeds above 800 feet per second. This cannot be explained by the composition of the shovel and Pinkie's strength. This phenomina cannot be duplicated elsewhere.
Colonel 7.62 wrote:...her shovel is the only thing other than myself that can freely transcend space and time. Why could she have not shown up to complete a five year plan, and then come back to whack Whoopie?
There's more to it than what catches the business end of Pinkie's shovel. Plenty of comrades in this country profess socialist ideas that are 100-150 years old, while believing those are completely new, progressive ideas. What other explanation can there be for this phenomenon than massive time travel?
But apparently they are not moving in time back and forth like Pinkie and you, Colonel. For them, it's mostly one-way.
And that is clearly the tragic reason why every single socialist economy of the past years has failed: their most active and conscientious members have advanced too far into the future, thus undermining the present.
They have left their time to make sure the future is steadily progressing, and then they basically became defectors without any desire to go back and work hard and sacrifice for the future generations. Furthermore, they brought their friends and families over, using the family reconciliation provision. No one is left to work on the Five Year Plan like the comrades in Grigori's motivational poster above.
All those comrades have moved to modern-day America and enjoy comfortable and well-paid positions in the Obama administration. Instead of sweating to create socialist wealth, they prefer to redistribute existing capitalist wealth. But their absence in the past undermines public trust in socialist productivity by creating a precedence of past socialist failures.
This has got to stop! We must eliminate this chaotic vicious circle and replace it with a well-regulated, glorious square. For this purpose, Colonel, as Commissar of Time, you must send the entire Obama Administration and the Democrats in both houses of Congress back through that wormhole of yours, to complete the 1945-1950 Five Year Plan ahead of schedule and help the socialist economy beat the capitalist West.
The above comrades should promptly be joined by the staff members of all progressive think tanks, organizations, and websites, complete with George Soros who finances them. Soros should be financing the post-WWII reconstruction efforts in the USSR. And even if the state-run planned economy wouldn't let him be a billionaire and manipulate currencies, he could certainly make himself useful in the Central Planning Committee of GOSPLAN.
This is, in fact, where THE LEFT got their moniker. The leftists are called that way because the majority of them have LEFT their mother time in the past to become resident agents in the foreign future.
Red Square wrote:
This is, in fact, where THE LEFT got their moniker. The leftists are called that way because the majority of them have LEFT their mother time in the past to become resident agents in the foreign future.
End of transmission.
An interesting take on the composition of reality Red Square. Physicists ponder why there is so little anti-matter in our universe. I have a novel explanation. Matter is simply moving forward in time. Anti-matter is moving backward in time. The recoil of the big bang. The little anti-matter we see is that which crosses our forward path through time and thus becomes visible for a fleeting moment.
Progressives then become a sort of super matter, moving forward in time faster than normal matter. However, in doing so we create a disparity in space/time which triggers all manner of unintended consequences for those left in our wake.
I call this new field of science Political Physics which can be used to explain the irrational, like how global warming can cause cooling. It can also be used to cancel out the classical laws of physics that interfere with progressive thought, like gravity or creating clean, free, renewable energy from nothing. Think of it as particle physics with "strings" attached.
All it takes is an enlightened mind willing to believe anything.
Whoopie makes perfect sense [scary as that may be] with the matter/anti-matter.
From their functional directiveness there must have been stop lights and one way signs for matter and Other way signs for antimatter.
Given the factual nature of the big bang we must accept all these troofs as truths.
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
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