What to do with Herman Cain?

[Red Rooster]

It is not hard to deal with a thoughtcriminal. Always remember the tools of race-class-gender, although we teach equality™ this is just the thing that allows us to use The Inequities™ against The Oppressor™.

So, if you are faced with a minority dissident, the answer is simple. Allow your minority constituency to lead the visceral attack. I repeat, do not step Out of Bounds™ as the rethuglikkkan Pat Buchanan did... but lead with your Left. (unless you are a blithering idiot like Joe Biden or Harry Reid, then pray for media recusal.... which is sure to come.)

Do not attack character! But rather stay focused on the primary qualities, which are again race-class-gender. If your opponent is a mother from Wassila, say snidely things about her motherhood and make up escapades about her affairs with toasters. If your opponent is a successful business professional, talk about how they support Big Oil and eat kittens.

Of course Race™ has another set of rules. First off it is important to call the opponent a racist and a bigot. No matter the color or context. Just beat them to the call. Then make sure the opponent is thoroughly demeaned. For instance, Comrade Belcher and Comrade Hughey wasted no time: Herman Cain is a racist bigot who could model for Aunt Jemima on a pancake box while he serves as the butler in Gone with The Wind and poses as the Original Cream of Wheat.

These are all very original and demeaning conjectures upon an elusive character driven opponent. It will bring them buckling to their neo-kulak knees.

This concludes our weekly collective lesson. Now go out there and squeak and squawk like a bassakwards installed wagon wheel!

Hail Obama!

[Commodore Snoogie Woogums]

Red!

Great lesson Comrade! As a matter of fact one of our progressive minions confronted Cain awhile back and followed your instructions exactly, said he was for hurting Black folks and women. And got his butt handed to him.........You got a plan "B", he's gonna be a tough one to crack.

[Commissarka Pinkie]

Herman Cain is a lousy f**k and I hate him. He's a stupid liar who's bad and dangerous for America. Mark my words, he'll take us straight back to the 60's. The 1860's. Hell, maybe the 1760's. Let Herman Cain steal the election, and you'll be saddled with the worst president ever since George W. Bush.

Speaking of George W. Bush, what he didn't destroy--and you'd think he'd destroyed everything, but he's so stupid that he's certain to have overlooked something--and whatever that is, Herman Cain will demolish it. Herman Cain will finish anything George W. Bush started and make it even worse.

Herman Cain is a stupid lying traitor who will end civilization as we know it. If, in spite of his total idiocy, he gets away with stealing the presidency, old people will be falling off cliffs everywhere. Mass starvation and homelessness and joblessness will be everywhere as we are forced to live in cardboard "Cainvilles."

I hate Herman Cain because no thanks to him, the planet will relapse from its healing of the past few years, and the oceans will rise again.

Herman Cain hates the planet, old people, children, immigrants, puppies, kittens, bunny rabbits, ladybugs, fluffy baby chicks that go cheep-cheep, and fluffy yellow ducklings that go quack-quack. He abhors science. He ran Godfather's Pizza to make millions of people fat and obese, so when they couldn't get health insurance because of their preexisting condition caused by eating too much of the pizza he forced down their throats, they all died and he just laughed, because that's what Republicans do to people who don't have health care, and that's why they want you to die quickly, because they can't wait for another good belly laugh. Herman Cain only loves his God and guns, as well as millionaires, billionaires, and corporate jet owners.

Herman Cain comes from the same state that gave us Newt Gingrich and Gone With The Wind. Watch that movie and see if you can't pick out the black character most like him. I'll give you a hint—it's neither Big Sam nor Pork, and it isn't Mammy or Prissy. It's the black guy singing in the buggy with the Republican carpetbagger while they mow down wounded veterans of Lincoln's illegal, immoral war for cotton. And they laugh while they're doing it!

If Herman Cain is allowed to get away with stealing the Presidency from Obama, rest assured he will proclaim himself dictator, and say stupid hateful things—like letting people keep more of their own money when they're only going to squander it on themselves is somehow patriotic. Any nitwit will tell you that the moral and patriotic thing is to plead with the government to please, please raise your taxes, so they'll have the necessary revenue to help those who rely on the government—because that's what the government is for, and the government has made a sacred covenant with the people that they could always rely on it for everything, and for all eternity.

We will all be living in fear of our lives because of Herman Cain's bloodthirsty tyranny.

If Herman Cain usurps the White House, I vow I will move to England where this year we saw evidence of a robust democracy in action. I'd rather live in a country where I can raise awareness of how much I care about keeping all my government benefits by torching Harrods to the ground, and tipping a Rolls Royce containing Charles and Camilla into the Thames, than a country where everyone is being held hostage by those terrorists in the Tea Party who refuse to budge on anything, and all because they signed stupid gimmicky pledges and contracts to destroy the government, and they think they have to stick to them for all eternity.

That's all I have to say for now. Oh wait, one more thing . . . Herman Cain is just like Hitler.

[Ivan Betinov]

Herman Cain hates the planet, old people, children, immigrants, puppies, kittens, bunny rabbits, ladybugs, fluffy baby chicks that go cheep-cheep, and fluffy yellow ducklings that go quack-quack.

He also hates ObamaCare, which goes cheap-quack.

I say we weigh him, and if he weighs the same as a duck, he's a witch, and then we can burn him.

[Silverfiddle]

The Cain man is obviously a subversive enemy of the state. He also appears to be an escapee from the progressive indoctrination plantation.

[Fearless Leader]

Comrades,

I commend Red Rooster for bringing this Runaway to our attention again. As I'm sure all of you will remember, I quite presciently (that's the word I see on the telemprompter) issued a "Red Alert" way back on Feb. 21, 2011, warning that Cain would be Able to lure minorities from their previous lockstep support of our collectivist agenda. He is indeed a dangerous man.

--Fearless Leader

[Ivan the Stakhanovets]

I ignore such as this Cain <spit>. He is an insignificant little cabbage fart in the windstorm of politics. He is not a threat to Dear Leader. Nothing to see here. Move along.

[R.O.C.K. in the USSA]

I saw we weigh him, and if he weighs the same as a duck, he's a witch, and then we can burn him.

Comrade Brain-In-A-Jar, I also am having no doubts that this Herman Cain is made of wood.

Need I say more?

[KarlMarxJr.]

This "Cain" gentleman is nothing more than an operative for the CIA. They told him to come up with stories, like a mathamatics and business major, a successful CEO in the resturant business and starting up a pizza chain. I have to admit I have eaten at this chain and it is quite good. Food stamps were accepted at this establishment, so I had a good time. So the only hope we have to subvert this man's rise in the propagandist polls is to continue our "Occupy Wall Street" protests. This man is the embodiment of Wall Street. So take off your clothes and protest against Wall Street and Herman Munster, oh excuse, Herman Cain. The more disgusting you look naked, the more profound the message!

[General Confusion]

Comrades,

Someone said earlier he was a tough nut to crack, the solution is right before your eyes!

Assemble a team of male comrades who will devote their time to weightlifting strength for their legs.

Start the conversation and get him relaxed, following the 3rd question with 37 kicks to the groin. The debate is over, we win!

Col. Klink, Sounds fair to me, Sir!

[Vladimir_Scratchanitch]

Herman Cain is a lousy f**k and I hate him. He's a stupid liar who's bad and dangerous for America. Mark my words, he'll take us straight back to the 60's. The 1860's. Hell, maybe the 1760's. Let Herman Cain steal the election, and you'll be saddled with the worst president ever since George W. Bush.

....That's all I have to say for now. Oh wait, one more thing . . . Herman Cain is just like Hitler.

Commissarka Pinkie- This essay seems familiar to me.

Is this possibly a recycle of an identical essay you wrote some time ago about some other (shudder) Rethuglican who thought he might ascend and usurp the grate leedur's throne?

[Vladimir_Scratchanitch]

On the subject of the Grate Leedur- It seems like his campaign to remain the Grate Leedur is a tad deflated lately.

[attachment=0]obama-reelection.jpg[/attachment][/b]

[Vladimir_Scratchanitch]

I don't know why this picture of me is so popular. It's as if everybody thinks I never get away from the computer and go anywhere. Quite untrue. Here's a picture of me going for a drive.

[Commissarka Pinkie]

Herman Cain is a lousy f**k and I hate him. He's a stupid liar who's bad and dangerous for America. Mark my words, he'll take us straight back to the 60's. The 1860's. Hell, maybe the 1760's. Let Herman Cain steal the election, and you'll be saddled with the worst president ever since George W. Bush.

....That's all I have to say for now. Oh wait, one more thing . . . Herman Cain is just like Hitler.

Commissarka Pinkie- This essay seems familiar to me.

Is this possibly a recycle of an identical essay you wrote some time ago about some other (shudder) Rethuglican who thought he might ascend and usurp the grate leedur's throne?

So what if it is? The same is true of Obama's speeches anymore:

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-roo ... nd-remarks

See for yourself, and read as many as you can before your head finally explodes from The One's endlessly recycled regurgitations.

[Vladimir_Scratchanitch]

So what if it is? The same is true of Obama's speeches anymore:

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-roo ... nd-remarks

See for yourself, and read as many as you can before your head finally explodes from The One's endlessly recycled regurgitations.

Commissarka Pinkie- Do you dare to mock imitate the Grate Leedur in that way?

[Ivan the Stakhanovets]

Vladimir, were you in a volleyball tournament at Hippie Hollow this weekend? The "uniform" looks familiar. And it appears that you have some places to conceal a sidearm!

[Commissarka Pinkie]

Vladimir, none of us can ever hope to be exactly like Obama. We can only strive to be Obama-like. That's all he asks. Well, that and for your money. And if you've read all those speeches of his, you know he's just asking. And he keeps asking. So why don't you fork it over already?

(BTW, that picture of you in your birthday suit makes me want to take a vow of chastity.)

[Krasnodar]

Move over, Adonis .......

Comrade VS .... you could dip yourself in a vat of liquid chocolate to maximize the effect.

[Vladimir_Scratchanitch]

makes me want to take a vow of chastity.)

If you are anything like my wife, rather than comment on THAT, I think it would be wise for me to take a vow of silence.

[Red Rooster]

Herman Cain is a lousy f**k and I hate him. He's a stupid liar who's bad and dangerous for America. Mark my words, he'll take us straight back to the 60's. The 1860's. Hell, maybe the 1760's. Let Herman Cain steal the election, and you'll be saddled with the worst president ever since George W. Bush.

Speaking of George W. Bush, what he didn't destroy--and you'd think he'd destroyed everything, but he's so stupid that he's certain to have overlooked something--and whatever that is, Herman Cain will demolish it. Herman Cain will finish anything George W. Bush started and make it even worse.

Herman Cain is a stupid lying traitor who will end civilization as we know it. If, in spite of his total idiocy, he gets away with stealing the presidency, old people will be falling off cliffs everywhere. Mass starvation and homelessness and joblessness will be everywhere as we are forced to live in cardboard "Cainvilles."

I hate Herman Cain because no thanks to him, the planet will relapse from its healing of the past few years, and the oceans will rise again.

Herman Cain hates the planet, old people, children, immigrants, puppies, kittens, bunny rabbits, ladybugs, fluffy baby chicks that go cheep-cheep, and fluffy yellow ducklings that go quack-quack. He abhors science. He ran Godfather's Pizza to make millions of people fat and obese, so when they couldn't get health insurance because of their preexisting condition caused by eating too much of the pizza he forced down their throats, they all died and he just laughed, because that's what Republicans do to people who don't have health care, and that's why they want you to die quickly, because they can't wait for another good belly laugh. Herman Cain only loves his God and guns, as well as millionaires, billionaires, and corporate jet owners.

Herman Cain comes from the same state that gave us Newt Gingrich and Gone With The Wind. Watch that movie and see if you can't pick out the black character most like him. I'll give you a hint—it's neither Big Sam nor Pork, and it isn't Mammy or Prissy. It's the black guy singing in the buggy with the Republican carpetbagger while they mow down wounded veterans of Lincoln's illegal, immoral war for cotton. And they laugh while they're doing it!

If Herman Cain is allowed to get away with stealing the Presidency from Obama, rest assured he will proclaim himself dictator, and say stupid hateful things—like letting people keep more of their own money when they're only going to squander it on themselves is somehow patriotic. Any nitwit will tell you that the moral and patriotic thing is to plead with the government to please, please raise your taxes, so they'll have the necessary revenue to help those who rely on the government—because that's what the government is for, and the government has made a sacred covenant with the people that they could always rely on it for everything, and for all eternity.

We will all be living in fear of our lives because of Herman Cain's bloodthirsty tyranny.

If Herman Cain usurps the White House, I vow I will move to England where this year we saw evidence of a robust democracy in action. I'd rather live in a country where I can raise awareness of how much I care about keeping all my government benefits by torching Harrods to the ground, and tipping a Rolls Royce containing Charles and Camilla into the Thames, than a country where everyone is being held hostage by those terrorists in the Tea Party who refuse to budge on anything, and all because they signed stupid gimmicky pledges and contracts to destroy the government, and they think they have to stick to them for all eternity.

That's all I have to say for now. Oh wait, one more thing . . . Herman Cain is just like Hitler.

BaGAwwwwWWWKKKK!!!

That's right Commissarka... and... and... and Herman Cain is a racist bigot!

[Red Rooster]

You know you got the EBT comrades, right? I mean you are upgrading from beets with Obama in office, right? Good.

Then help support these comrades from the Lone Star State as they support™ Obama's EBT entitlements....



[off]
Read the comment section... racists are so damn stupid... they don't get satire... and why try to write in Ebonics if you look like an idiot doing it? They think they are making fun, but they just look foolish... just goes to show you... racism is a problem of ignorance.... Conquer the trite and you conquer racism.

[on]

Support Obama's EBT growth NOW!!!!

[Vladimir_Scratchanitch]

Comrades, this appearance of Herman Cain in the race makes it a Black and White choice er choice between good and evil, er another chance for Amerikans to prove they aren't prejudiced.

[attachment=0]good-bad.jpg[/attachment][/b]

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Comrades, I fear you have all missed the point. Even you, most esteemed, bleary-eyed, weaving Pinkie. (How are the potatoes these days? Getting at least one a day that isn't moldy, I hope.)

I was doing opposition research and forced myself, after considerable fortification with Putinka vodka, made of the finest AmeriKKKan beets, to listen to Chris Wallace interview that treasonous Herman Cain, the Porch Negro who dared to think for himself anything that a white liberal hadn't thought of before. How incredibly uppity of that boy. Well, he'll never get another invite to a fancy Georgetown party. And that's life, isn't it? Not what is, but what people think is, is.

If you think that there is a strange Clintonian echo, I promise you it is, and it's reflected in some of the more interesting convolutions of Einstein's work.

Herman Cain did the worst possible thing that a Leader, and I mean that in the Fearless or Dear way, can do: he said what he thought. I was listening and nearly drove off the road. He reminded me of, and you must sit for this, and I'm feeling faint and can barely type, of, that evil monster, Ronald Reagan!

So that uppity Porch Negro must be destroyed. Lest the good Georgetown crowd and the Upper East Side and Hollywood feel discomfited, thinking that they cannot patronize people of darker skin tone.

It's so hard these days being a good progressive. I weep for the times when we could merely pat them on the heads and tell them to get back on or lawns, or on our academic lawns, churning out reams of progressive scholarship, which is when you think of it, just the same thing.Oh, Herman! How you have disappointed me! Why, oh why, did you make me think of that damnable Ronald Reagan?

Pardon me while I retch.

[Grigori E.R.]

Comrades,
I believe this Cain entity is something else all together. One of my operatives took a thermal image of Cain:

The image at left is a normal image. The one in the middle is the actual thermal image taken of Cain. Image to the right is what a normal thermal image of a human would look like. The differences are striking to say the least. Without a doubt he/it is a cold blooded creature. The blue in the middle image denotes an object near or about room temperature. Here are a few possible explanations:

1) He/it is possibly not alive. A necro voter gone off programming?
2) He/it is maybe a cyborg at the command of the Reich Wing.
3) He/it is a space alien

Any other thoughts Comrades?

[Red Rooster]

Comrades, I fear you have all missed the point. Even you, most esteemed, bleary-eyed, weaving Pinkie. (How are the potatoes these days? Getting at least one a day that isn't moldy, I hope.)

I was doing opposition research and forced myself, after considerable fortification with Putinka vodka, made of the finest AmeriKKKan beets, to listen to Chris Wallace interview that treasonous Herman Cain, the Porch Negro who dared to think for himself anything that a white liberal hadn't thought of before. How incredibly uppity of that boy. Well, he'll never get another invite to a fancy Georgetown party. And that's life, isn't it? Not what is, but what people think is, is.

If you think that there is a strange Clintonian echo, I promise you it is, and it's reflected in some of the more interesting convolutions of Einstein's work.

Herman Cain did the worst possible thing that a Leader, and I mean that in the Fearless or Dear way, can do: he said what he thought. I was listening and nearly drove off the road. He reminded me of, and you must sit for this, and I'm feeling faint and can barely type, of, that evil monster, Ronald Reagan!

So that uppity Porch Negro must be destroyed. Lest the good Georgetown crowd and the Upper East Side and Hollywood feel discomfited, thinking that they cannot patronize people of darker skin tone.

It's so hard these days being a good progressive. I weep for the times when we could merely pat them on the heads and tell them to get back on or lawns, or on our academic lawns, churning out reams of progressive scholarship, which is when you think of it, just the same thing.Oh, Herman! How you have disappointed me! Why, oh why, did you make me think of that damnable Ronald Reagan?

Pardon me while I retch.

BaGawwwWWK!



That's right Father Prog! And not only that but he's .... he's..... he's .... Herman Cain is a Pancake and Syrup Mogul who has bigoted disgusting Christian values!

[Red Rooster]

Comrades,
I believe this Cain entity is something else all together. One of my operatives took a thermal image of Cain:

cain_thermal_images.gif

The image at left is a normal image. The one in the middle is the actual thermal image taken of Cain. Image to the right is what a normal thermal image of a human would look like. The differences are striking to say the least. Without a doubt he/it is a cold blooded creature. The blue in the middle image denotes an object near or about room temperature. Here are a few possible explanations:

1) He/it is possibly not alive. A necro voter gone off programming?
2) He/it is maybe a cyborg at the command of the Reich Wing.
3) He/it is a space alien

Any other thoughts Comrades?

Cold blooded! That about explains it Grig, just like those black people in Africa who sold their own brethren to European and American slave traders... oh wait... isn't that what Dear Leader Obama is doing? Oh crap comrades, I need to get back to Jiffi Lobo™....

Oh wait I forget something....

BagawwwWWK!

[Red Rooster]

Ah hell.....



Comrades -- RED ALERT,

Shut this lawn boy up! We cannot bring about the Progressive World of Next Tuesday with these People™ speaking up. There must be some way to silence this dissent. Tell Dear Leader Obama that we need to release the reparations™ NOW!!!! I know, I know, it won't do a damn thing for this prole who has everything and.... arrrhhhhmmmmmm.... earned it... (I think I'm I'm going to puke!) but it will keep our faithful in check.

Hail Obama!

[Father Prog Theocritus]

I personally find it treasonous when blacks wander off the reservation. Don't they know that they're supposed to be the victims of PC patronization? The way we white progressives patronize them is never to expect much and when we find a black who has done something, like the abominable Herman Cain, or that horrible BET man, or Condi Rice, or even Clarence Thomas, who ought not only recuse himself from hearing Obamacare but shoot his wife and then himself just for being Clarence Thomas, then it is a direct insult.

I have even taken the pains to read Thomas Sowell and Walter Williams. Utter rubbish. Why, those men aren't really black at all. Not the way that the Democrat party defines them. They ask for no quarter, are very clear thinking, and can puncture any liberal piety with a single sentence. Why, I can even see Sowell sniff in print. How about that? He just won't toe the party line.

I hate him too. He must be silenced lest other blacks get the idea that they can do things, which we progressives have always said that they couldn't unless we helped them in ways that we liked to help them. And if they were liberated then they might leave the New Plantation.

And Tara Nouvelle, or the New Plantation, would be emptied and with that our votes.

But the big thing is, Herman Cain and Robert Johnson and Thomas Sowell and Walter Williams and Clarence Thomas and Condi Rice must be silenced. So they do not drown out the "compliant" voices of Cornell West, Eric Holder and other grievance mongers.

Independence is a horrible thing and we progressives are beginning to realize that we're undoing the Civil War, but to our benefit this time. Those horrible Cain people don't realize what they're doing.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Oh, and 7.62, as Commissar of Time, needs to go back and shoot Frederick Douglass and George Washington Carver. We've managed to rewrite the speeches of MLKJr. to take out the self-sufficiency and all that bit about a level playing field. That can only empower blacks, and we Progressives need them for our New Plantation.

So Cain et al, STFU and go away. You're ruining our con game. And you might lift blacks out of dependency on Big Brother and where would we be if we didn't have a throttle-hold on them? Up the creek without a paddle of course. So it's essential that the blacks not be told all the things that Cain et al are saying. That way lies freedom for all Americans and we progressives can't have that.

[Grigori E.R.]

"Why, those men aren't really black at all. Not the way that the Democrat party defines them."

I see the wisdom Father Prog. By that definition, our beloved MTE's husband really was the first black President.

Speaking of our MTE, have you seen her lately Theocritus? She hasn't been by the NC Kollective in quite a while now.

[Infidel Castrate]

He ran Godfather's Pizza to make millions of people fat and obese, so when they couldn't get health insurance because of their preexisting condition caused by eating too much of the pizza he forced down their throats, they all died and he just laughed, because that's what Republicans do to people who don't have health care, and that's why they want you to die quickly, because they can't wait for another good belly laugh. Herman Cain only loves his God and guns, as well as millionaires, billionaires, and corporate jet owners.

Spot on Commissarka, spot on.

Did you know that the 9-9-9 plan originated from Godfathers pizza?

Yes!

9 Pizzas

with

9 Toppings

for only

9 Dollars

And if you don't mind sharing ... why was he a bad kcuF?

What about the Koch Brothers? How were they?

[Red Rooster]

Comrades,

I am in love! This, yes this, is Marxist Agitator after my own cockled heart. There is no way this Herman Cain could stand up to the utterly devastating propaganda this truly progressive Marxist Agitator can deal out... just listen to the fat bastard glorious comrade:

[Grigori E.R.]

Agreed Comrade Rooster. That Latino Comrade is one hell of an agitator. Here's a photo so we can remember "heem" in our hearts and minds:

We really should ship this Comrade to the People's Occupation on Wall Street.

[Red Rooster]

Comrades,

I was spying on the evil kapitalist pigs at Faux News and found this glorious retort to Herman Cain, this is how you do it comrades!:

wow, wow, wow... it's rare i have to go on an attack like this, but for the love of god folks snap out of it !!!

Herman Cain is a fascist pig, power seeking, money hungry, self-serving, self-absorbed, clueless, condescending, idiotic, loud mouth with no connection to the people, to the times, to the momentum and needs of a nation on the brink of a future towards which he has no comprehension at all, at all. Not even close.

Cain is a corporate puppet installed to make sure Ron Paul is not the last man standing. Cain has no business in politics and no qualifications for the highest political job on earth. By his latest words and all those that he's spoken before it's clear Cain is a completely insensitive, self-congratulating jerk with no insight, no innovation, no economic understanding, a childish economic proposal, a following of total morons within the gop who hopefully will drop him like a hot potato or perish by their own blind ignorance.

Cain offers nothing, no wisdom, no insight, no inspiration. I rarely have to get up and hate a candidate as much as I had to for Lyndon Johnson, Nixon, Bush senior and Bush junior. But this is unbelievable that someone could talk as Cain does and get support from anyone except fascist psychotics. Protests are unamerican? Cain, wake up, get out, get lost, go away, go make pizzas, never enter politics again. Take the psychotic tea party with you. Move to another planet, another dimension (or dementia in this case).

GIVE THAT COMRADE MORE BEETS AND VODKA!!!

Read more: https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2011/10 ... z1a1z1JJZr

[Commissarka Pinkie]

As Theocritus would say . . . Oh. My. God.

I'll do more than give Comrade Billxwilson more beets and vodka. I will give him my body! Finally, I have found my soulmate, for he thinks exactly as I do!

Rooster, I am in love with Comrade Billxwilson. Just from his one post, I can see that he's obviously sweet and sensitive, and like, totally understands me! I want his phone number! His website number! His PIN number! I will love him 4-ever and ever!

Time to write a new page in my Hello Kitty diary:

Mrs. Pinkie Billxwilson . . .
Mrs. Pinkie Billxwilson . . .
Mrs. Pinkie Billxwilson . . .

[Superkommissar Maksim]

I want his phone number! His website number! His PIN number!

How about his HuffPo number? You might be surprised (or nut not) to learn he's a Ron Paul fan. He also has some interesting views on medicine.

Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help you find a love connection.

[Ivan the Stakhanovets]

I get whacked four times in one post, and in two weeks, I'm dropped like a bad habit.

FINE. Be that way Pinkie. I want my 8-tracks and my beet platter back.

[Krasnodar]

" Tone down the rhetoric " ?

You mean like Jimmy Hoffa Jr. did recently ?

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Pinkie, you're giving your body to someone else? How can you be so cruel? Haven't you read my Socialist Sonnets written just to you, to help me change my luck and make True Progressives? Just think of that the coupling, even if finished in a cow's uterus in a barn, might be: the coupling of Pinkie and Father Prog. It would make Damien run for the entrance. No penny could exist within a hundred miles without this prog-child's thumb-print on it.

This is not the first time that I've prostated myself at your feet, you know, and pardon me while I go snarl in a closet.

Really. How fickle of you. Making lambent sheep's eyes at the Prog You Don't Know instead of the tried-and-true prog that you do know.

By the way, all that little damage done to your dacha was actually done by a consortium of Pupovich and Meow. I had NOTHING to do with it.

You may believe that as utterly as you may believe that I had nothing to do with that small roofies incident.

[Krasnodar]

Just what The Cube needs.... another made-prog soap opera.

We could call this one : " As the Stomach Turns ".

[R.O.C.K. in the USSA]

To Red Rooster: are you now or have you ever been affiliated with the Coo Cluck Clan this righteous Hispanic protester is talking about on his bull horn?

What did you know and when did you know it?

[Red Rooster]

Damn you ROCK! You will be first in line for this. To the gas chambers! Exposing The Party is criminal offense. Just ask Dear Leader as he tries to permanently hide his records through congress. We have ways comrade, we have ways...

Ahhrrmmm... we are Peaceful™ citizens for Democracy™ just looking for Equality™.

Hail Obama!

[Commissarka Pinkie]

Pinkie, you're giving your body to someone else? How can you be so cruel? Haven't you read my Socialist Sonnets written just to you, to help me change my luck and make True Progressives? Just think of that the coupling, even if finished in a cow's uterus in a barn, might be: the coupling of Pinkie and Father Prog. It would make Damien run for the entrance. No penny could exist within a hundred miles without this prog-child's thumb-print on it.

This is not the first time that I've prostated myself at your feet, you know, and pardon me while I go snarl in a closet.

Really. How fickle of you. Making lambent sheep's eyes at the Prog You Don't Know instead of the tried-and-true prog that you do know.

By the way, all that little damage done to your dacha was actually done by a consortium of Pupovich and Meow. I had NOTHING to do with it.

You may believe that as utterly as you may believe that I had nothing to do with that small roofies incident.

I DO know you, Theocritus. Aren't you the one who dreamed of doing the deed with Janeane Garofalo? How do you expect me to follow THAT?

Though I do like her views on Herman Cain, that the Republicans are merely putting him forward in a desperate attempt (like when are any of their attempts at anything NOT desperate?) to con the masses into thinking they're not racist, when the irrefutable fact is they are. Straight up.

If you don't vote for Obama, it can only be because you are racist. Period.

If you do vote for Herman Cain, it can only be because you are racist and you're trying to hide your racism. Period.

Any lackwit can see that and will tell you.

[R.O.C.K. in the USSA]

My dearest (and only) Rooster: please be for accepting my most severe apologies - in the frantic confusion over racism, I had forgotten that the KKK was made up of mostly democrats!! It's so easy to get confused when to dislike Dear Leader for any reason is to be a racist, and yet to like Herman Cain for any reason is to be a racist.

I'm sure that it's nothing a quick trip to JiffyLobo™ won't fix for me.

And Thank You, Comrade Commissarka, for setting me straight on the whole racist thing! I have printed and laminated the last part of your last post, above, and shall carry it in my pocket for when I start to feel confused (if that ever happens again post-JiffyLobo™).

[Red Rooster]

That's right ROCK! We are collectivists and racism is the most vile (but useful for us!) form of collectivism and that's why we founded the KKK and Black Panthers and CBC. Now quit your whinin'! Quit your complainin'! Take off your house slippers! Put your marching boots on! We got work to do!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... Qf_QfitmKE

Hail Obama!

[Commodore Snoogie Woogums]

Red Rooster,

Get ready to get your feathers up. It seems Herman Cain.......spit, has been in contact with his old company, kapitalissst pig that he is and they added a new menu item.



Also Red, Krasnodar and Tavarichi have been acting mighty suspicious of late as Cain has become more popular with those riechwinger racists. I think the Inner party should start having a little deeper looksie into their private affairs. Perhaps some photos of those two proles enjoying a slice of pepperoni from a certain chain might be lurking out there????

[Ivan the Stakhanovets]

Snoogie, you prove once again that humor is part of the new order of Next Tuesday. No such pictures of me exist! Such a funny little man you are!

I cannot speak for Krasnodar on this one, as he has an appointment with the Missionaries to learn more about the "one true church" as soon as he is finished passing out his assigned number of "Mitt is ITT" bumperstickers.

As I recall, During a Sprite-induced sugar-coma the other night, (right after ahhh--play practice) he was muttering something about taking a party position in Salt Lake City. He rambled on and on about "Prophet, See-er and Revelator" (who could only be Dear Leader, (PBUH), the ONE. I find such new-found information about Krasnodoar astonishing, and did not know we had representation much less an office in Utah.

Good old Krasnodar, Loyal as ever to the Party and Dear Leader

[Infidel Castrate]

Red Rooster,

Get ready to get your feathers up. It seems Herman Cain.......spit, has been in contact with his old company, kapitalissst pig that he is and they added a new menu item.



Also Red, Krasnodar and Tavarichi have been acting mighty suspicious of late as Cain has become more popular with those riechwinger racists. I think the Inner party should start having a little deeper looksie into their private affairs. Perhaps some photos of those two proles enjoying a slice of pepperoni from a certain chain might be lurking out there????

Damn those KKKapitalists and their efficiencies.

Can you image how that drivethru works? Do they send your food back thru one of those tube things? And what happens when they mix up the food with your money? ... do you want your cash spicy or mild?

[Krasnodar]

Comrade Infidel...........you are invited to come out to the tractor shed after sunset and
participate in the consumption of some finer Texas brews that Tovarichi " liberated " from those squalled reprobates down by the lake at Hippie Hollow.

After all, is it not so that we have a God .... government given right to have copious amounts of alcoholic fluids to enjoy ?

Of course it is ! ( wild cheers from the crowd and a wink from the President )

As I have said before..." Alcohol is the Oil of Socialism "

I am sure that, after a few, we can arrive at an amicable agreement of how much we all love to be of service to Dear Leader and The Party !

( Oh......yeah ........ could you bring some of those nice Havanas if you've got any to spare?)

Krasnodar, Vagabond of the Outer Parts, Party- Appointed Farm Shed Manager and Fabricator of Truth.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Pinkie, I adumbrated that dream in September of 2008. While I was in Vancouver. That's been more than three years. I have forgotten that dream, dear Pinkie. It was sadly enough never to be. After all, Comradette Garofalo went on to have many deep conversations with Keith Olbermann, where they redefined progitude. Or reality, which is much the same thing.

You should know that it's you that I want. Janeane is so, well, unhygienic that I have on good information that it takes grappling hooks to keep her from sliding out of the bed. They do cause some skin damage but since she's bleeding other people's blood, that's all right.

And anyway, why would I prefer Janeane to you? As much as I love Janeane and respect her complete and total disregard of the truth--perhaps even better than Nanski's or Harry Reid's or Dear Blubbing Baby Barry Bama--she still looks outside herself for that inspiration.

After all, you cannot be a Made Prog without a soupçon that you ought to be taking the name-branded Haldol instead of the generic.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Krasnodar, while I find much worthy in your admonition that alcohol is the fuel of socialism--and I can't be arsed to look up the page because I'm getting fueled right now--bear in mind that any sort of psychotropic drug will do just fine. LSD, heavy jars of Jack Black, Johnnie Walker Black. What have you.

Bear in mind that what we do will not stand the light of day and so we have to freight in the drugs, the excuses, the victimology.

Anything so that people will avoid personal responsibility. For that's the Prog's biggest enemy: personal responsibility.

[Commissarka Pinkie]

Oh, for crying out loud, Theocritus. "Adumbrated"? My brain totally locked up after seeing that word. I had to shut down and reboot.

Where do you get these words--from the tail end of The O'Reilly Factor? "Name and town, name and town, name and town if you wish to opine, and when writing the Factor, please . . . no ADUMBRATING!"

Or is this just more of your rannygazoo?

[Vladimir_Scratchanitch]

RE: "adumbrated"-

Frankly in the realm I communicate in, mis-spellings are extremely common. And some of the email I get is from somebody who is high, drunk, or majored in sex during their entire skool career, short as that might have been.

So I ignored the word until Pinky brought it up.

Being somewhat of a word smith, seeing a word I have NEVER seen before is fascinating.

So I looked it up, if for no other reason than wondering if Father Prog Theocritus made it up-

https://dictionary.reference.com/browse/adumbrated

[Commissarka Pinkie]

He doesn't make up the words, Vladimir, trust me. He's paid to get them out of the dictionary. Yes, I'm quite sure he gets kickbacks from the corporation that makes dictionaries--or as I call it, "Big Dic."

That's what he does it for.

[Krasnodar]

Pinkie.... How's that bovine beastie Hillary Ranygazoo Elsa Lipstick getting along ?

[Vladimir_Scratchanitch]

He's paid to get them out of the dictionary

Paid to get big fancy words out of a dictionary?

I can't decide whether to envy him or feel sorry for him.

[Ivan Betinov]

Krasnodar, you have revealed yourself! By the tippy-tappy of your keyboard, you have torn the mask from your face and shown your true visage:

Pinkie.... How's that bovine beastie Hillary Ranygazoo Elsa Lipstick getting along ?

HREL is PORCINE, not BOVINE. And like every good prog creature, she is proud of her pork; your pathetic attempt to belittle her by lumping her in with the common cattle is your undoing: you have revealed that at heart, you are a speciesist.

You disgust me.

[R.O.C.K. in the USSA]

Has it ever been definitively determined precisely what "-ine" MTE is? I only ask because of, well, her endowments. And because I'm avoiding going to work by being here on the Cube™. Work is, after all, for the proles, is it not?

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Pinkie, Mr. O'Reilly telegraphs his words and this indicates to me that he is not comfortable with them and they are a costume for him.

And as far as what our beloved Many Titted Empress is, we could use vulpine, ovine, bovine, lupine, serpentine, or any other of words. I prefer to think of her as homine, meaning of course that she encapsulates the very best of humanity inside her tiny, compact frame of complete and total prog viciousness.

[Krasnodar]

Sentiments to C. Ivan Betinov,

Indeed, you appear to be much more familiar with the barnyard animals than myself.

Endless apologies, yada, yada,yada.......

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Betinov, do you think that you are actually slighting other porcine things? You may have heard that Texas is now the home of many feral hogs and some white-trash network has a show on Texans who make a living killing feral hogs. Which can get to #300 and completely destroy a car. Or dig up all the ground in the Davis Mountains.

But there is a reason. We've always had javelinas, but not the feral hogs.

I can shed light on this. Once when our dear Many Titted Empress was staying at the Rancho, she went on a, er, what's the word? A frolic. Yes, that's it. She managed to give birth to the entire population of feral hogs which is now subsuming Texas, eating everything, uprooting everything else, and destroying Big, Evil, Soon-to-be-poor Texas.

So do not diss the porcine. You may be dissing our MTE. Or some of her piglets.

[Ivan Betinov]

Krasnodar, you need to vacation in Eumenclaw, Oregon. It will educate you on all our friends in the barnyard, whether they like it or not.

[Infidel Castrate]

Krasnodar, you need to vacation in Eumenclaw, Oregon. It will educate you on all our friends in the barnyard, whether they like it or not.

Or vacation here in Phoenix, where men are men, and sheep are afraid.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Unless you go north to Sedona to the art galleries. Where men are flattered by anxious gallery owners trying to sell things they've had on consignment for two years.

Sometimes it works.

[Red Rooster]

Krasnodar, you need to vacation in Eumenclaw, Oregon. It will educate you on all our friends in the barnyard, whether they like it or not.

Ahemmm.. It is Eumenclaw, Washington where the horse f&**$#@ reside. Talk to 7.62 about this phenomenon.

COMMODORE SNOOGIE!!!

We apologize (yet will claim The People's Navy at fault later). Since this special phenomenon has found national... er... and... international.... attention, we have been busy procuring enough WINGS from thoughtcriminals.

Please let Al Sharpton Save The Progressive Journey to The World of Next Tuesday!

Hail Obama!!

[Ivan Betinov]

That's why I said to go to the one in Oregon; sweeet Lenin, do you think I would send a fresh-faced young lad like Krasnodar to hang out with a bunch of horsey-humpers?!

[Krasnodar]

Thanks, C. Betinov.....

In response to your kindness shown for not sending me on an " Oregon Adventure ",
I'm sending you a bottle of Putinka instead of the usual Stoli.

[Vladimir_Scratchanitch]

Thanks, C. Betinov.....

In response to your kindness shown for not sending me on an " Oregon Adventure ",
I'm sending you a bottle of Putinka instead of the usual Stoli.

Hey! I am in Oregon, the Soviet Union of the West- Come see how Communism works.

Do you have a problem with THAT, Comrade?



~BY THE WAY~

What caused this was the masses of Californians who fled confiscatory California taxation and regulation in the 70's and 80's- and brought all their liberal, progressive, bullying, smart-ass boss of the universe attitudes with them.

As we used to say- "They Californicated Oregon"

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Let us never forget the wisdom of dear Karl: "People who don't remember history are doomed to repeat it, first as tragedy, then as farce."

I cannot stop laughing.

[Red Rooster]

Comrades!

Do not watch this propaganda! Dear Leader did not play to the vote:



But the thoughtcriminal says: "The further Herman Cain gets, the more America will see just how much the left hates black conservatives."

https://www.black-and-right.com/2011/10 ... turday-33/

[Vladimir_Scratchanitch]

But the thoughtcriminal says: "The further Herman Cain gets, the more America will see just how much the left hates black conservatives."

By any chance did he get 3 passes through the-

-on the same day?

There is a limit to how many times you want to do that in the same week.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

"How much we hate black conservatives?" How can there be any doubt of that? Listen and believe, o comrades. I did not toil in the beet fields all these years, sneering at people who thought, people who didn't agree in lockstep with me, for someone like Herman Cain.

As I've said elsewhere, just who does this man think he is? He's got a masters in computer science; he turned several businesses around; he was the chairman of the Kansas City Fed; he has a huge c.v., and he sounds like, and sit down for this, Ronald Raygun.

Are all of you still breathing now? That this, this...THIS...PORCH MONKEY would actually DARE to do things like this, would DARE to be this educated, would DARE to define himself, would DARE TO SUCCEED???!!!!!

This is intolerable, because it diminishes my splendiferousness and magnificence and just plain adorableness as a leftie. Cain didn't ask me before he achieved. I didn't to tell, oh hell, order him not to worry his nappy little head over things he shouldn't worry about.

And he did it anyway. And he SUCCEEDED!

Such treason against people who are busy 24/7 working for the good, that's right, the good, and the well-being, of All the Little People.

Screw Herman Cain. I hate him. I hate the porch monkey who would not be petted and went on and succeeded, and really big time, anyway.

I'm going to be sick.

[Red Rooster]

Oh. My. Lenin.

Comrades, RED ALERT! This could be the death of The Party™! I'm sorry Father Prog, but that porch jive just ain't good enough anymore, proles are speaking up, and Dear Leader may be in trouble:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... l0DwApnjEY

[Ivan Betinov]

Nope. The Consensus has no paradigm in its collective conception that can accept the existence of a Black conservative. Nor is there any room for a Black man calling President Obama a "House Nigger." Thus, there are only three possibilities:

1. Neither of these men exist.

--OR--

2. Neither of these men are actually Black.

--OR--

3. We have been collectively overcome by the fumes from the overflowing porta-potties and are experiencing a group halucination.

[Infidel Castrate]

Nope. The Consensus has no paradigm in its collective conception that can accept the existence of a Black conservative. Nor is there any room for a Black man calling President Obama a "House Nigger." Thus, there are only three possibilities:

1. Neither of these men exist.

--OR--

2. Neither of these men are actually Black.

--OR--

3. We have been collectively overcome by the fumes from the overflowing porta-potties and are experiencing a group halucination.

4. He was a Teabagger "plant" sent by the Koch Brothers.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Betinov, I tend to think that it's the reality-distortion field set up by anything having to do with Lord O. You've noticed that his words make reality, so by definition what he wants is just fine. So the one calling him a "house nigger" did not in fact say that and as soon as history can be conveniently rewritten, he will not have been born.

He will envy Joe the Plumber.

[Red Rooster]

Comrades!

Our beloved comrades at ThinkProgress have come out with glorious video to humiliate the Simpleton™ Cain. This is pure genius comrades, because we all know that only 60% of the adult population likes country music:



Absolutely Devastating! Right comrades? We may be on to something... but wait... this prole in the comments says:

@tytheeman20 - The US has the second highest corporate income tax in the world (35%). Only Japan is higher (40%). When Herman's plan lowers the corporate income tax to 9%, that makes America THE number one most business friendly country in the world. That means multi-national corporations will scramble to open factories in the US and bring thousands upon thousands of good, high paying jobs and careers along with them. Look at the future.
NAGGERNUTZ 6 hours ago

And our ThinkProgress comrades rebuttal is "Give It up..." That is one mathematically gifted prole we have at TP.

GIVE THAT PROLE MORE BEETS AND VODKA!!!!

[Red Rooster]

Hallowed Ghost of The Evil Kapitalist Raygun! BLASPHEMY!!!

We paired the inept Uncle Tom™ Cain against our Clintonian Stephanopoulos:



George was brilliant! Slipping from 999 to International Affairs to Inexperience to Health Records....

Math & Reality are hard.

Hail Obama!

[Red Rooster]

O.k. o.k. I screwed up, the blatant derogatory racist attacks weren't working, so we skipped on to character attacks. Our mistake, but we had to try something as this... ahem... one... just won't lay down, much like that Clarence Thomas bastard.

And then, and then, THEY put out this:



Holy Lenin comrades! These kapitalist pigs have figured us out.

What's next?