Five more years until it can ditch the Al Gore bikes, get a driving license, and get the motorized artillery involved in it's revolutionary activities! Think of how much quicker Next Tuesday will never come!
15 days before taxes come in too! It's like a late birthday present!
FORWARD! FORWARD! FORWARD!
ONWARD! ONWARD! ONWARD!
UPWARD! UPWARD! UPWARD!
Greetings! Having just emerged from a rigorous and grueling unspecified amount of time in physical and mental rehabilitation and training camps from here to the gulag, we have now returned, stronger and willing to lay down our otherwise meaningless existence for Next Tuesday once more!
Happy belated birthday to our beloved Cube. Now that I'm committing the great Communist sin of making money, my posts on this site will probably be less frequent. But make no mistake, it's been far too long and in this day, age, and year everyone needs a little flaming-red satire to keep themselves just a little sane. Or is it insane?
A bouquet of celebration will be sent to your headquarters! With love, in the name of all the employees of the ministry of truth in Brussels.
[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]
How many political satire websites can say that apost this oldis still as valid as the day it was written!
Wow, good one! Maybe... for the 12th anniversary or something... some glorious comrade should volunteer to make a big anthology of the best and most Korrekt posts of the past years? It would be one hell of a satirical masterpiece!
It seems like only last year we celebrated the 10th anniversary of The People's Cube. Next thing you know TPC will develop pimples and start spending excessively long periods of time in the bathroom. Oh, well... here's to the good ol' days - and those even better days of Next Tuesday™
Comrade Putout wrote:.
I'll be behind Tractor Barn #2 passing out small pieces all night... .
Comrade Putout,
I'm hoping you saved me a piece. (and some cake might be nice, too)
Comrade Brain Betinov wrote:
Only Eleven Years and we have already started the Fourth Five Year Plan! And we're three years into that!
Huzzah, Comrade Brain Betinov!
It is really amazing, especially when you think of how badly the boys manhandled your jar in those early years, moving it around, leaving it on windowsills in the sun so you would overheat... then putting it the fridge... leaving the lid off, and putting all manner of things in there, like sea monkeys... Jaegermeister... even pickled eggs, rather than clean a container and put them in there... The sheer amount of abuse you took was astounding, until I made you a ward of Housekeeping and threatened to cut off a finger if I caught any of them screwing around, like when they got totally sh*t-faced on Absinth (the real stuff, made from northern wormwood and smuggled back from Prague when it wasn't legal, because of its potential toxicity... and your fluid had a distinct green hue that was not algae) and Mescal (and I'm pretty sure, some peyote)... and they were putting things in the microwave to see what would happen and I caught them just as they were about to put you in on high for 8 minutes and 34 seconds (which I suspect was absolutely arbitrary), though in truth, the entire scene was less disturbing than both Meowsevitch and the Doktor dancing around in their green fairy outfits, singing shrilly, "We're fairies... we're green Fairies."... I made them clean out the mess they made and threatened to accidentally break Meowsevitch's entire Hummel collection while dusting them, starting with the two most disturbing pieces... The "Goebel" Moorish King, and those two little kids who seem to be throwing up a Nazi Salute.
But it has been our pleasure to look after you, and you have consistently been amongst the most genteel of those that it is Housekeeping's pleasure to serve. And we look forward to looking after you for many more 5 year stretches!
Ah, dear Sister. Your kind ministrations make life more than merely tolerable. I still treasure the INEDIBLE sticker you ordered placed on my lid after that incident when Fraulein Pulloskies mistook me for pickled cauliflower.
The People's Cube, like the issue of Climate Change™ , hasn't aged a bit since its glorious inception. We still have just as many years left (less than ten) to save the planet as we did eleven years ago!
Happy birthday People's Cube! Since "Feel the Earn" thread is closed, and keeping with the party's individual pixel allotment, .....
Thanks for the video, Red Walrus! It reminded me of another video of Andrew and me together... Very appropriate for the People's Cube anniversary celebration!
Red Square wrote:Thanks for the video, Red Walrus! It reminded me of another video of Andrew and me together... Very appropriate for the People's Cube anniversary celebration!
Oleg, you continue Andrew's message with The People's Cube and I am happy to be part of this wonderful group of people, thank you. Your book should be arriving soon, I am looking forward to the reading!
Last edited by mi on 4/4/2016, 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post:Overquoting
Dear Comrade Brain Betinov wrote:
Ah, dear Sister. Your kind ministrations make life more than merely tolerable. I still treasure the INEDIBLE sticker you ordered placed on my lid after that incident when Fraulein Pulloskies mistook me for pickled cauliflower.
I know how helpful that particular sticker has been, but you would be surprised how many people would still give it a try. Even the sticker that said "Live Human Brain" didn't stop some from wanting to give you a try, or even the threat of contracting a prion disease. It was the sticker threat of death by... well... best not to say... that finally put to the threat to your total corporeal existence an end. But we are always pleased to serve... just not you... to anyone else."
Comrade Biff,
If you would like, I would be happy to show you how to make an origami Cube. It is not at all difficult. Or we could just start with a crane...
Happy birthday People's Cube! Since "Feel the Earn" thread is closed, and keeping with the party's individual pixel allotment, .....
Thanks for the video, Red Walrus! It reminded me of another video of Andrew and me together... Very appropriate for the People's Cube anniversary celebration!
OMG, sigh! I just love Andrew Breitbart! Oh yeah, and, you too, Comrade Red! (just kidding, I love you both equally! It's only fair!) Still, I really miss our darling Andrew. What a mensch!
Last edited by mi on 4/4/2016, 5:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason for editing this post:Overquoting
Thanks for the wonderful tribute, Comrade Fine! I love the photo you posted of our dear Oleg, and am using it for this. Gosh, I hope I didn't go over the top.
How many political satire websites can say that a post this old is still as valid as the day it was written!
Meritorious!
Did click on this post Sista MO. It is indeed meritorious. I even left a reply to some dude who called himself 12345, yeah, 12345. Even thought his post was about a decade old, it made me feel good to reply to him. Alas, he'll never see it. If he does, wouldn't that be awesome? And, what if he actually does a 180 on his views? Just a thought. A delusional one at that.
Red Square wrote:I didn't realize how ancient this makes us look...
Caption:
~Komrade Red Square circa 2057~
After the Revolution, Komrade Red Square was ejected from the government because his cube had worn corners. This was taken as an omen by top Party officials to be a sign of bad times if he were to remain in power. Being understandably miffed, he sought a simpler life away from civilization. A small team was sent to find him and document his life away from government. He grew a beard which he calls "Linda", and which he combs exactly 1917 times every day. His cube is no longer red, but pink due to exposure to the sun, but he insists that it is still bright-red and threatens to shoot anybody that disagrees. In this photograph he is seen with his AK-47, the same one he used in the Revolution, and which he now uses for hunting and defense from Kapitalists and Thoughtkriminals. His location has not been disclosed as it is surrounded by a minefield that he has planted himself to "keep away thoughtkriminals", as he says. The minefield has taken 67 thoughtkriminals who have escaped from various rail transports, and because of this he has been awarded with 67 Glorious Party Service medals and 144 crates of mines.
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
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Organizations, Komsomol, Society for Sport and Technology, Society for
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