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Purging the Masses 2007-08

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Ahhh...October...The World Series, football, hockey....the changing of the season....the Red leaves of Fall....and counter-revolutionaries, enemies of The Party, and failed progressives quaking in their Birkenstocks, as I unleash the wrath of a watchful and vengeful proletariat.

After the dismal failed purge on Nancy Pelosi last year, I have decided to have a mass purge this year.

Whom shall we purge, you ask?

Well, I am opening this up to a continuous, indefinite purge until the day of my coronation (then the deportations and executions can begin)

The First List of Purgees on the Docket are as follows:

  • Joe Lieberman. Crime: Remaining in The Party, Zionist Pig and not co-operating with the Religion of Peace™
  • Zell Miller. Crime: Remaining in The Party. Addressing a Nüremberg rally in 2004.
  • John Edwards. Crime: Bad haircut and not letting me in on some insider hedge fund information, Besides, It's for the Children™, and stupid enough to run against ME.
  • Barack Obama. Crime: Not Black enough, stupid enough to run against ME.
  • Cindy Sheehan. Crime: Failure to start a revolution, smells like a ditch, porn addict, and running against my good friend Nancy.
  • Mikael Rudolph. Crime: Mime, besides he crossed a line and it's time and I think that's just fine.
As time moves on, you may add to the list by a poll via the Blog.
Just add your candidate and the politburo will vote on it's merits.

You all know the rules.

LET THE PURGE BEGIN!

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The Mime has been summoned your Excellency


https://impeachforpeace.org/board/viewt ... =1144#1144

The Lorax



Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 13
Location: Walla Walla
Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 3:29 pm Post subject:

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Tell the Mime he's being purged at the Cube.
He's not socialist enough!
Viva Che! Viva Fidal! Viva Hugo!
Viva socialized medicine!
The World Can't Wait!
Bring on the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™!

Seig Hillary!

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Yay! No more smelly mime! No more invisible boxes for him to get trapped in (except the one his mind is in) and no more ignorant proles to slow down the pace of progress!

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Hillary wrote:Ahhh...October...The World Series, football, hockey....the changing of the season....the Red leaves of Fall....and counter-revolutionaries, enemies of The Party, and failed progressives quaking in their Birkenstocks, as I unleash the wrath of a watchful and vengeful proletariat.

Your Highness,

I regret to inform you that as a result of Global Warming, fall has come late this year to Kanadistan (and I suspect, the contiguous United States), and the resultant chemical confusion to the trees caused by the overzealous warmth of the sun has meant that red leaves stop at the Kanadistan border... we have them all, while the US has none... Apparently, this process should also be related to certain chemicals and whatnot in the soil and leaves and the lessening light, but certain striped figures with large leashed dogs have been seen in the vicinity of the VT/NY/ME border with Canada and we suspect they are, in fact, doing something to the US trees by way of chemical application through dog urine... Please let us know how many red leaves you will be needing.

At first we did think the group some 'break-away' truffle performance art group from Cornell, that had simply hybridized some sort of Psilocybin mushroom/truffle, but we now believe this to be the work of one Mikael Rudolph.

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Your Excellency!

While investigating the Mime site, we have discovered Cindy Sheehan's secret porn bunker. It's located in the member section. 6980 of the 7000 "so-called" members are actually porn spam links. This is a front organization providing Cindy cover for her addiction. Impeachment is just a front. This is a Vast Mimebat Conspiracy.

Your Humble Space Dog,
Laika

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Your Most Exalted Excellency:

I denounce The Mime, Harry Reid, Cindy Sheehag (sorry, Cindy. They turned me against you with bribes and the key to the executive washroom), and now QUEBEC!

Yes! Quebec has been flooding the People's Commonwealth with French Sarko-fascist lesbo agents bent on preventing our leaves from turning red! Not one leaf is red down here, Your Excellency! I MUST PROTEST! This invasion is a silent one... but luckily for us I will not let them storm the gas stations/hotels of my fair homeland! No! I will not allow it and petition the Party to send me large volumes of soft-cash to carry out an investigation.

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I have heard the clarion call from the Empress today, and I ran, ran comrades to my study so I could ponder who to purge. It was not easy, this is my first attempt, so keep this in mind.

Prospective Purge:

Tom Cruise - lets face it, he has been a huge disappointment lately. He promised to leave the US then backed out, I don't need to point out his kooky religious beliefs, taking acting parts glorifying imperialist spies, and just the purge of an icon like him would perhaps spur the younger thespians to greater progressive actions.

Canada - Wait, hear me out comrades. I am not necessarily suggesting we purge this faithful partner, but perhaps a brotherly smiting may be useful. The crime? Only one comes to mind really, and that is allowing so many progressives from the US to enter their workers paradise. Now normally that would be praiseworthy. But with the soon to be crowning of the Empress Hillary, we will need every progressive here to build her workers paradise. Lets face it, while Canada is a beacon of progressiveness, we shall not likely see worldwide acceptance until the US takes the lead, a role we have been sorely missing for so long. So lets thwack Canada and ask that they help us stave off further liberal brain drain till we can achieve the completeness of the revolution.

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Comrade Canine,

No Worries... The Problem has been taken care of...

All the best!
The Dolphinesse

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Dear Mikael Rudolph, come sit next to me. I have things to whisper in your ear, dear Mikael. I understand your rage, and your helplessness. Come tell me. I'll soothe you. I'll commiserate with you and tell you how right you are to feel as helpless and powerless as you are, for you <i>are</i> helpless and powerless, and you ought to know that.

I care, dear Mime, I care. I really do.

Come sit next to me.

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote:No Worries... The Problem has been taken care of...

Oh My Lenin! You really could have given a spew alert! I was drinking my morning Peoples Coffee when I saw that, and it was all I could do to not soil my computer display! LOL!

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Dear Mikael Rudolph, come sit next to me. I have things to whisper in your ear, dear Mikael. I understand your rage, and your helplessness. Come tell me. I'll soothe you. I'll commiserate with you and tell you how right you are to feel as helpless and powerless as you are, for you <i>are</i> helpless and powerless, and you ought to know that.
I care, dear Mime, I care. I really do.
Come sit next to me.

Dear Commissar Candy-man...
This curious Dolphinesse (as we all seem to be putting on airs lately, and I am the Princess (Principessa?) of Canada** wonders, is it better to be helpless and powerless and to know it, or to exercise power one does not rightly wield... or perhaps, to misuse it?

**Long version available upon request...
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Commissar Pupovich wrote:
Sister Massively Opiated wrote:No Worries... The Problem has been taken care of...

Oh My Lenin! You really could have given a spew alert! I was drinking my morning Peoples Coffee when I saw that, and it was all I could do to not soil my computer display! LOL!

Comrade Pupovich...
We seek only to reassure. The Dolphinesse believes it is important to make clear that Our neighbours to the south need no longer concern themselves with Our affairs or the disposition of Our serfs, or worry that We will co-opt theirs. Similarly, Our neighbours to the south should not concern themselves with 'thwacking' Us, but rather with 'thwacking' themselves. And Finally, it is Our most devout wish that Our neighbours have soiled nothing but their computer monitor.

All the best!
The Dolphinesse

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Dear Dauphiness, for I feel curiously froggified today, it is my worry that Kanadistan will tire of some Americans that have left here and return them to us.

We do not want them. Is Gitmo full?

Our Dauphiness wrote:This curious Dolphinesse (as we all seem to be putting on airs lately, and I am the Princess (Principessa?) of Canada** wonders, is it better to be helpless and powerless and to know it, or to exercise power one does not rightly wield... or perhaps, to misuse it?

I merely want to whisper in Mikael's ear things which might be of interest to him. It is beside the point whether it is better or worse when I am merely considering with tender concern his state of mind.

And I want to tend to it with my undivided personal and undivided loving attention.

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Commissar Theocritus, don't you think we can use all the progressives we can keep for the Hillary Empire? Of course I really wasn't being serious about thwacking Canadastan. I just think that now that we are getting so close to the fulfillment of our take over, any progressives should simply be stopped at the border and politely explained to how Her Highness will be needing their services to build our workers paradise here.... and any that persist in their efforts to leave, or try to sneak back in... well, that tells us something doesn't it? It means they do not wish to serve Our Highness, and so they should be more forcefully shown the error of their ways, and be invited to view the People's Wall.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Dear Dauphiness, for I feel curiously froggified today, it is my worry that Kanadistan will tire of some Americans that have left here and return them to us.
We do not want them. Is Gitmo full?
Our Dauphiness wrote:This curious Dolphinesse (as we all seem to be putting on airs lately, and I am the Princess (Principessa?) of Canada** wonders, is it better to be helpless and powerless and to know it, or to exercise power one does not rightly wield... or perhaps, to misuse it?
I merely want to whisper in Mikael's ear things which might be of interest to him. It is beside the point whether it is better or worse when I am merely considering with tender concern his state of mind.
And I want to tend to it with my undivided personal and undivided loving attention.

Dearest Kommissar Slinger,

We do not know if Gitmo is full... they currently have one of Ours (which we are hoping they shall keep)... We are left with its family suckling the very teat of a nation they despise - the makings of future (if not current) psychopathy if We have ever encountered it. We say, who cares is Gitmo is full - some things are more important than occupancy rates, and I am sure it will be happy to see its mother and brothers (its father was killed in a fire-fight in Afghanistan, the very same that left it a quadriplegic Talibanista at the age of 15, at which point it returned to Kanadistan's most excellent health care system and the bosom of its mother, who declared "we are an Al-Quadea Family" before We cheerfully disposed of it on the verge of that worker's paradise, Cooba)...

So... you are correct in assuming that We do tire of some of even our native-born subjects and wish to send them off to summer camp permanently... and they should be happy to go, as We have often mused in that tit-for-tat, Hamurabi's code dernier cri, that it would be most amusing were We to, in like fashion to the Taliban's treatment of the retarded South Korean Christian Peacemakers who felt themselves able to visit Afghanistan on some sort of unilaterally conceived peace mission sans diplomatic standing only to find two of their own shot and the remainder held hostage (it would be amusing were it not so pathetic... and, in fact, We have often also mused that for their temerity, they too should be sent to Gitmo if for no reason other than Gitmo appears to Us to onomatopoetically describe their shared character)... were We to pick up off the street the Kadrs, as this self-described"Al-Quaeda Family" is named**, as well as several others of their ilk or some close associates, line them up in front of a poorly hung textile and videotape them reading stilted and clearly unfelt statements condemning the Taliban, as well as Hizbollah and Iran... perhaps even Lebanon if We are in a foul mood that day... then shoot them while on camera and summarily dump their bodies on the well kempt grassy boulevards that line the streets they live on, and deliver their 'performance' art to the world via the Dolphinesse net (hahahahah... no... The Tuna Net! Ha... We amuse even ourselves!)...

Then We would sit back with a rather large bowl of smelts and anchovies, and Our Personal People's Cube, of course (one cannot possibly deny that its predictable certainty of unerring, historically inevitable outcome.. the model it represents for the calm and calculable progression toward the ultimate contrivance envisioned by THE People's Cube for the betterment of all... yesssss... ALL... even The Dolphinesse admits this and looks forward to the day... is a balm to the annoyances We find ourselves beset from all sides by) and find Ourselves amused by the backlash of self-loathing and guilt emitted by Our most moon-batty of southern neighbours, while they turn themselves inside out trying to come up with new ways to support the next Kadrs waiting in line to end western civilization... but moon-batty troglodytes amuse for only a short time before We do tire of them (perhaps it is their powerlessness that wears... who cares... f**k 'em if they can't take a joke, We always say, and if EVER there was a less funny bunch... well... there was, but We just shot them in our imagination... Everyone needs a hobby), as you so astutely surmise...

Not to worry... Our Ice Bears, ranging as they must on shrinking habitat, are in need of an alternative to seal and whale meat... your moonbats will provide an excellent food source, despite their low quality vegan diets. We shall fatten them up with some Ben and Jerry's before loosing the Ice Bears on them. We foresee gaining a most excellent National Geographic Documentary out of the entire process, and as all win, none win, as it should be!

But of course, We shall hold back The Mikael for you! It is the least The Dolphinesse can do for one We hold in such high esteem! Consider his ear AND his tender state of mind yours to tend to as you see fit. Far be it from Us to meddle in the odd affairs of humans or their attentions.

Thank you also for the kind gift of the pretty neck ruffle... you do know Our vanity, as well as Our self-consciousness about that little extra neck blubber, though it does keep Us warm in winter. And Our best regards to Laika - We are enjoying this particular retro-Friday very much indeed. The 50th Anniversary of the Launch of Sputnick Theme Party is Inspired and Kenneth is doing a most excellent job of maintaining the frequency. Our tinfoil chapeau (it does match the ruffle so well!) is literally singing!

Yours devoted,
The Dolphinesse

** We wonder if there is, perhaps, some other use for this "Al-Queda Family"... like "The Partridge Family"... or... "The Von Trapps"... but no... they would manage only one performance before the men in the family had to stone the women to death...

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I thank you, dear Dolphinesse, for your charity in according me The Mikael. I shall consider him my personal treasure and responsibility. I shall minister to him, and see to his mental health. I shall grant him his innermost desire--all the rage that he can handle, all the time, topped up whenever it flags.

I shall grant his wishes.

Perhaps I can take him on a trip to Gitmo and let him rage against the Bushitler's illegal imprisonment, and introduce him to your al-Qaeda family. They can swap recipes.

And I'll make sure that his rage is unabated.

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What Max from the Sound of Music should have really done:

First place goes to the Von Trapp Family singers! <looking around nervously, big smile>... Errrhmmm.... The Von Trapp Family singers! <smiles awkwardly now as crowd looks puzzled, still no Von Trapps> Well folks, looks like they aren't coming, therefore, I DENOUNCE THE VON TRAPP FAMILY SINGERS! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR ESCAPE! IT WAS THAT BITCH MARIA! IT WAS ALL HER IDEA! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE LITTLE BRATS COULD SING! ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS MAKE A FEW MARKS HERE AND THERE! <Brownshirts step in to remove Max> NO! NO! UNHAND ME! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS! NO!<crowd is now laughing and clapping> NO! NOOOOOOOO.......... <sound of door slamming shut and car tires squealing away><crowd proceeds to throw roses and bouquets on the stage while cheering>

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Let's just get Zell Miller out of the way.
This one is a slam dunk.
Give him his shovel and load him into a boxcar.

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Who is this non-person criminal zm? Surely that is some horror movie preview that you have so graciously provided Your Highness?

Ah, can a lowly Commissar start denouncing some of our "Republican" plants for not having come forward already to sign up for a speech for your crowning convention? After all, if a Hollywood horror movie script writer can imagine a non-person as this alleged criminal speaking in front of the republikkkans, then surely one ot ours should step forward more forcefully.

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Commissar Pup Smear woofed
Ah, can a lowly Commissar start denouncing some of our "Republican" plants for not having come forward already to sign up for a speech for your crowning convention?
Arrrrgggghhhhh! YOU IDIOT! You dare not reveal any of our plants! Do you understand? Are you listening Pup Smear?
I do not want to see the names Specter, Snowe, Hagel, Martinez, Lugar, Lott, Kyl or Craig mentioned in this purge. Nor any other useful idiots! Do you know how much a useful idiot costs? They're not cheap Puppy Boy.
Useful idiots are useful idiots and will remain so until my coronation.
Am I making myself clear Pupovich?
What, I can't hear you?
Drop and give me twenty. Now! And I want to hear you count it out.

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1 Hail Hillary! Feels good! 2 Hail Hillary! Feels right! 3 Hail Hillary! Sounds good! 4 Hail Hillary! Sounds right! 5 Hail Hillary! Good for me! 6 Hail Hillary! Good for you! 7 Hail Hillary! So Good! 8 Hail Hillary! So Right! 9 Hail Hillary! Smells Good! 10 Hail Hillary! Smells Right! 11 Hail Hillary! Tastes Good! 12 Hail Hillary! Tastes Right! 13 Hail Hillary! Pup Erred!! 14 Hail Hillary! Pup Repents! 15 Hail Hillary! My Empress! 16 Hail Hillary! Your Empress! 17 Hail Hillary! Boss of Me! 18 Hail Hillary! Boss of You! 19 Hail Hillary! Been There! 20 Hail Hillary! Done That!

Phew.... that got the old blood running. If you don't mind, I am going to do some shoveling and self criticism for the rest of the day, or till my #1 (first among equals of course) LSU Tigers kick off at least.

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Not 20 pushups!
20 Grovers! Soft and cold. Or 200 Bens...or just wire it into my Swiss acount.
Greenbacks, dammit. I'm a little short since this Hsu Shit started....oh, and it's "heil" not "hail"

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Great Stalin's Ghost! When you said "drop and give me 20" I didn't realize you meant drop them into your account! Forgive the Pup for being so dense. Now I am not sure what a "grover" is unless you are referring to the furry creature of Sesame St fame who apparently sells bottled air based on my investigations here? But I certainly understand Greenbacks! Needless to say, there really is no need for me to limit my contribution to a mere 200 Bens. What is mine is yours, and what was mine was OPM anyway, so let me see just how much we have "on hand" so to speak....

<center><img src="https://people.delphiforums.com/a1sickp ... "></center>

Yes, one hundred, two hundred, three hundred.....

Heil Hillary!

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Now I am not sure what a "grover" is unless you are referring to the furry creature of Sesame St fame

Here's your visual aid for today. How can I ever expect you to be a good commissar if you don't know what a "Grover" is? Remember, it was ME who said "Grover". Do you really think I care a about a Muppet? Has any Muppets contributed to my campaign fund? I'm not interested in Other Puppet's Money.
Honestly Pupovich, you try my world reknown patience gawddammit!


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Empress, Pup can count himself lucky. If Mr. Reno had said drop, Pupovich might have been introduced to something that he has had no interest in. There are people who do drop for money but in general they <i>get</i> the money for dropping instead of the other way around.

Oh. My bad. We are progressives, aren't we? We get to pay to be bent over.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I forgot my elevation to the Inner Sanctum. That's what we do to <i>others</i>

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My Empress, I am truly ashamed and disgusted with my denseness. I knew what you meant by the 200 Bens so how can I even begin to excuse myself for not understanding what you meant by 20 Grovers? My only "excuse" if you will is that I have never seen a Grover except for long ago touring the Grand Ol' Opry where they had an exhibit of some major bills such as that, even a "Chaser" bill. I really haven't been thinking as clearly since my health problems last year, and no doubt a result of some of the medications I am taking.... medications that I might add Commissar Theocritus has taken credit for inventing. Again, I beg your forgiveness for my failure.

Heil Hillary!

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Commissar Pupovich, not only did I invent the medicines, but I invented Merck, Eli Lily, and GlaxoSmithKlein. Or whatever. You know. Those drug people. In fact I invented inventing.

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Yes Commissar, and I have passed this confession of yours to the People's Lawyers.....

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Dear H8 taught me the secret of keeping their balls in a jar. How do you think she does it? She tried jumping out in front of people, without blouse or bra and shaking her many tits, but after enough black eyes, she quit doing that. Now she just keeps their balls in a jar.


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Lawyers have balls?
Yes, yes they do, and my dance card is always filled.
I was once the Belle of The Rose Law Firm Ball.
Vince and I tripped the light fantastic that night. We did the Arkansas Reel, The Whitewater Shuffle, and The Cattle Futures Stomp.

But that was sooooo long ago <sniff> I missed Vince, but Craig Livingstone didn't.

OK, ZM is purged.
Who's next on the docket? Theocritus, since this is your first purge, you may bring the thoughtcriminal forth of your own choosing.
Sorry Little Pup, Theocritus has more Cube seniority, you'll have to wait your turn.

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Thank you so much Your Highness for your explanation and wonderful story of the good old days, but never forget, better days are coming soon! And of course I understand Theocritus has ever right to choose next. Actually, when it comes to purges, this Pup would just as soon not even be thought of....

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Mistress, I have a suggestion, more of a velleity, really. I think that Harry Reid is going to become a major embarrassment to true progressives everywhere. Oh, he walks the walk and he talks the talk. He can't hold a candle to you, Empress, in laundering money; I know that. His land deal? Nothing to Whitewater. I snap my fingers at that.

But he's, so, er, not <i>there</i> when we need him. That look of stupidity, denseness. He's thick as two short planks, you know. He has the look of a senile old cat, getting on up there with Senator Byrd. Who would be a huge embarrassment except what remains of his mind is channeled into his incomparable bullshit machine and we don't expect all that much from West Virginia anyway--look at Jay Rockefeller. Or don't--look at his suits. After all, he was only elected because he cleans up good.

But I just don't think that Harry has the ability to stand on his own two feet. If, for example, Pfizer changes the formulation on I'm an idiot spammer there will be seismic changes at DKos, and our Komrades won't be able to support him and then think what an embarrassment he will be.

So I wonder. Is it time for Dirty Harry Reid to be purged?

Just a thought.

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Damn!
<SMASH CRASH BANG…another of Meow's Hummels bites the dust….YIP YIP …kicks The Pup…>
Go ahead, purge Reid…I don't give a f#%k!
<pops a ketamine, grinds teeth, gnash, gnash>
NOBEL PEACE PRIZE?
This is a joke right?
It's not?

CAN'T SOMEBODY RID ME OF THIS MEDDLESOME GOREMON PRIEST?

Ohhhhh….grrrrrr…..I can just hear that loathsome Tipper now…."My husband is the Prince of Peace….Look at his Nobel Prize…..He's going to beat Hillary for the Democratic nominee and he hasn't even announced…..He invented the internet……He has an Oscar….He has $20,000,000.00 in carbon offsets…."
Make ME Puke!

But can we purge him…? Hmmmmm….He remains a very useful idiot.

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Dearest Hillary,

Gore is a useful diversion from any trouble you have. After all, going against the VRWC Talk Radio proved too much for Reid as it is easily pointed out who supports US Troops (Rush) and who supports the "Iraqi Resistance" (as useles idiot MP George Galloway calls it). Someone should tell that fool the real "Iraqi Resistance" IS the Iraqis fighting AGAINST Al Qaeda, Iran, and Syria, but that would rupture "Party Truth"..... Um, anyways, it is easy for even dense logs in Hollywierd to see who really supports US Troops and who does not. Thus, Ried is a liability.

So now Gore has won the Nobel Prize for his new religion. When you are elected, declare Gormanism a religion and thus ban Gore from Government!!! When Islam actually decides to try and push the kuffer out of power, declare that they are NOT a religion and purge them. As Islam is the only religion with political laws and power structure, this will be easy (you can even demonize them and no progressive will question yourt reversal). The same can be done with Goremanism if need be. Remember your story on old Vince.

Gore wins his Nobel... Wow... gee... great.... but guess what is NOT being talked about? Hsu!!!! This is why Gore, while very much and idiot, is useful.

As for purges.... Hmm... the field is ripe. We could purge Murtha. As the Haditha case falls apart against the American Imperialist Marines, Murtha is becomming more and more of a liability. Also, his connections with Code Pink are making your ruse of "Moving to the Right" complicated. Therefore, Murtha must go. We must ensure that the progressives are ever fluid so we can not be nailed down with "standards", "ethics", and that whoile bothersom "real plans for the future" thing.

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Hillary wrote:Damn!
<SMASH CRASH BANG…another of Meow's Hummels bites the dust….YIP YIP …kicks The Pup…>


Your Highness, I am still mortified that I did not realize how this pretender Gore being put in the spotlight would make you feel. Frankly, the more this slight sinks in, the more I believe Goremon would make a nice cardboard cutout. One can't hardly tell the difference any way. Perhaps there is little I can do to help assuage your righteous anger, but I would be honored for you to kick this Pup again if that would help.

Excuse me Your Highness.... (What do you want? Don't you see who I am talking to? Yes...yes... hmmm.... Ah, very Well! Double her vodka ration then send her a bill for her bottle tax. No, I don't care if she is your sister or not! Am I supposed to be shorted because of her? Oh, and he can start digging a hole if you get my drift!)

Excuse me again Your Highness, my assistant had some news you may be interested in. It seems some "customer" actually tried to "stiff" one of the Party Pleasure Palace employees by paying his bill with some packages he was supposed to be delivering. Needless to say, he has been put on a short term digging project. Any way, the package was addressed to a certain Chairman Punchenko. Of course it was our duty to make sure these packages were not damaged in any way. Upon opening it, we discovered approximately 1000 allegedly rare figurines of some sort. I thought you might have use for them.

I will leave you to your thoughts now if I may. Heil Hillary!
*Pup scampers to closest exit*

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Tankograd, George Galloway will never be purged for after all he was caught living the high life on OPM for voting against Britain, and the money of people who do not in fact have anything good to say for Britain, and he lied, he lied, he lied. So that's okay then. Washed in the blood of the lie. Haven't you learned that yet? Do something sensible, like protect yourself, do what you say you'll do, look in the mirror without flinching, take care of responsibility without regard to how it affects you--and you're just another sucker. Haven't you learned that yet?

Where, just where, is the percentage in duty? Nowhere, I tell you, nowhere. And that's why I'm such a contented member of the Party. Where all is forgiven, except little lapses of duty. Now I don't object to a little putting out of fires--say a Gorgasm for the Goracle's Nobel when inconvenient things might be talked about.

And let's always remember our allies and friends in MSM. Like Maureen Dowd. Why, that woman wears the edges off first-person pronouns. So <i>so</i> redefines the world, in terms of herself. That's why she loved dear Bill, who treated the world as his own therapy session.

And the only problem of course is that people who treat the world as their own is that there inevitably come conflicts. Because I know what what I want is paramount, and you, suckers, can just suck fumes.

That's why <i>I'm</i> Commissar Theocritus, the Slinger of...whatever it is...because I had a dream, and the Goracle appeared to me, saying, "Beloved Commissar, it really is about you, and I just have to get up on stage for a while, but it really is about you" and Hillary was rubbing my feet, which I had to pretend to like, well, I did, because of what it said...

Damn. I love the Party.

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Commissar, since the Empress has entrusted you with suggesting the next purgee, may I ask you to reconsider whom might be your target among our useful idiots in the Senate? Have you heard of the brilliant plan they are trying to pull off now in regard to condemning the warmongering Bushiltler allied Turks? Think of it! Here it over 100 years late, and they wish to condemn Turkey for genocide. Now grant it, some clear thinking people might agree it was genocide, but look at the brilliance of the plan and the timing. The warmongers may make it less likely for them to allow the Bushitler ship his WMD to use against the peaceful people of Iraq if this is passed, and at the same time they can thump there chest in righteous disgust at genocide, even if it is a century too late. Brilliant!

Now I must tread on this carefully. I have been assigned by the Party to monitor this "church" to get the names of those crazy "believers" that attend their cult services, so they can be readily be gathered up and charged with Hate Speech, exclusiveness, and other Thought Crimes once Her Empress takes control. Yes, it is disgusting service I render for the Party, but I do so for The Greater Good™. Anyway, I have to be very careful to keep my true identity hidden as the wife of the pastor there, is actually the great great granddaughter of Armenian "Christians" that were actually said to have been "martyrs" at the hands of these peace loving Turks. Hard to imagine how anyone could have been so foolish as to not deny this "Christ" when confronted by the sure and certain fate of those who rejected peaceful re-education efforts by the Muslim Turks, but there you have it. I have even on several occasions listened to these "martyrs" grandson whine and cry about this, a man I might add actually claims to have accepted this "Christ" at Golgotha... the real place mind you. He even once lived as a homeless man on the Isle of Patmos for nearly a year, and even claims to have met "angels." What a maroon eh? LOL Oh, he is so sick he has even spent the last 50 years going all over the world telling people his lies!

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<tap, tap, tap, tap, tap....the sound of Hillary impatiently tapping her finger on the Mark VII....slides her finger across the finely honed blade>

Ouch!

<A single drop of blood falls to the ground, puzzled look on face>

<sigh>

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You Highness, if it pleases her/him/it, may I suggest that we purge Michael Moore? As I reported before, he is running out of use for the party.
https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopi ... w=previous

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I am not certain, but I believe Her Highness is waiting for Commissar Theocritus. At least I was under the impression that he had been called upon to suggest who should be purged next, and it would appear Her Highness is most upset about his failure to comply. Most distressing to me as well.... I wonder what his dacha is worth. I understand he has some great food appliances that would do me nicely. That is of course if something untoward were to befall him.

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I have generously offered to purge Harry Reid, but I am flexible. I do not, however, think that Michael Moore is past his usefulness. After all, <i>Sicko</i> was a wonderful lie, just what we've come to expect. But if we purge him, to shut him up we'll have to kill him and then dispose of the body.

The cutting of it up alone would use enough power to power the Hildo Hydra 7.9 for a year and I do not think that Our Many Titted Empress would like that.

You know, this is just a suggestion, but what about purging Jesse Jackson? He's really not all that radical and anyway these days he can't get his mind off his tarts. And I'm getting tired of his OPM going to pay for his tarts. That OPM ought to be paying for my tart. Who has expensive tastes, by the way.

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Jesse Jackson it is!

But first let us get this non-person L. out of the way.

Crime: Being a Jew Zionist Pig
Verdict: Guilty

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Ohhh...I'm so excited about Jackson. Just the fact that I don't have a Budweiser distributorship is enough to bring up charges.
Lead the way Commissar Theocritus!

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Jessie Jackson! An inspired choice! A brilliant choice! Praise Lenin, Marx, and Hillary for such an absolutely delicious choice! May I offer to pay for the bullet should this be approved?

You must understand, I have a deep and abiding hatred for "Rev" Jackson, made ever so much deeper by his, in this humble commissar's opinion, decidedly non-progressive comments following Hurricane Katrina. I know, from a more detached view, his accusations about Bush blowing up the levee, and the discrimination of the hurricane may seem most progressive to most, this humble commissar was much, much closer to the events, and saw a different view. For once, several days after the hurricane had hit, I finally made it to my sister's house who at least had a generator, I finally saw the same news coverage the rest of the world saw. But what I didn't see was blacks vs whites vs asians etc being plucked from those rooftops. My true progressive eyes, blind to color, saw only a lot of people who needed help, and who were being helped by brave and courageous people of all colors and backgrounds risking life and limb till they were worn to the bone. That is, until the "Rev" Jackson came down here and got on tv (yet somehow managed to stay out of rescue boats) and told me that I was not viewing these events as I should. No comrades, it was not progressive leadership he showed, it was the divisive tactics that are normally associated with the Bushilterites that he showed... dividing the world by color and ethnic origin.

Now I could go on about why Jackson should be purged for many other reasons, but I know my comrades will take care of that. I just wanted to share my own personal, deeply held disgust for that worm. Purge away!

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Let me propose a truly radical purge of the Reverend Jesse Jackson. It is well known that he has a penchant for tottie--how much did he give that tart? $300K? That's chicken feed, of course; there's ten times that unaccounted for in Operation Push, you know. He could buy a whole stable of tarts and throw a bone to Ted Haggard, who despite the "cure" he's taken would no doubt be interested in a bone, and still have money left for sex, drugs and rock-and-roll.

What about some new form of the Clap of Doom? Surely we can find another Patient Zero for the Reverend Jackson.

The thing that I'd like to know is how a man with a two-car garage of a nose manages to look down it.

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Commissar, do let your vivid imagination run unfettered in your dreams for the "Rev" Jackson, though I do suppose we have to go through the usual formalities before we get to the good part.

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I personally would have the Reverend Jesse Jackson tend my yard. 24/7. In the heat. Without another man's wife. Without a camera to follow him.

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What kind of purge is that? Oh, why don't they purge like Uncle Iosef any more? Have we turned into a bunch of Frenchmen? Why, I would let him tend the garden alright.... from below. Don't worry about the cost of the bullet, I have set that aside already.

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Image

What If Somebody Gave a Purge and Nobody Came?


<sigh>

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Your Highness, I do believe I share your anguish. As you know, I have done my best to show my utter disgust for the "Rev" Jackson, and even stepped aside to allow my comrades a chance to charge this... this... worthless embarrassment. Yet where are my comrades? When will others step forward to press charges? I am beginning to wonder if it is not time to "invite" some more to this party function....

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Your Highness, I do believe I share your anguish.
Thank you Pupovich. I'm so down and out....MY poll numbers are doing great, an Obama fundraiser has defected to ME for my 60th birthday, which by the way, nobody sent me a card. <sniff> I'm also a certain lock now for the Democratic nomination, but this lack of a decent, hardline, media infested communist Purge has ME very sad...so sad as a matter of fact....that I'm considering suicide. The problem is that I just haven't figured out who's suicide yet or what method I should employ....any ideas? Anybody?

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Oh, this is hard, I have ideas on the method, but who? It is so easy to think of some, Murtha has of course been rather despondent lately, Cindy Shitcan of course has a ready made excuse. But I have been trying to think outside the "bundle" if you will. I was thinking that we need someone that the media will put their teeth in and not let go of, someone that will get the anti-war media revved up again since it has been relatively quiet, someone whose demise would not easily be linked with you, and someone whose demise you could be seen attending the funeral, perhaps giving an eulogy. In other words, someone who while they are still useful in their own way, yet one whose demise would be a boon For the Greater Good™. Perhaps John Edwards? The only downside I see to that is that he technically is a "competitor" of yours, but it would be damn near impossible for anyone to believe you would be that open. OBama of course has many good years left to be of use. But I can certainly go along with other choices, I think you see my thinking for what it's worth.

As for the method.... As Hsu know, we have seen problems with the chemical methods. I am still a fan of the non-person T style suicide. With the onset of winter, I think we could have our suicide volunteer, in a fit of despondency, throw themselves off of a ski lift. where as it happens, a ski pole happens to be left uncovered, perhaps due to the lower levels being exposed due to global warming.

But we also want this "suicide" to be ripe for rumors to begin to circulate, that there is no way the victim would have done such a thing, and clearly it was operatives of the VRWC that planned this. Needless to say, there are many reasons one could come up with for Edwards, especially with his lawyer background.

Oh well, perhaps I can think this through some more with the help of comrades... when and if they show up.

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Empress, why not have Chelsea commit suicide when someone says something nasty about you? You could pretend that you care about someone else--we figured out your true feelings when Christophe came out to do your hair and you didn't throw him a $100 (stolen of course) and say, "Do something for the girl." You could get all over motherly and people might buy it, of course, and the press wouldn't ever take you to task again for anything you did. You could just cloud up and pretend to wipe a tear from your eye (to conjure up one just pull a nose hair. That <i>was</i> what you were doing when you had your finger up your nose, wasn't it?)

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Just cloud up and bawl a little bit and sink against some man--that will make the men hate you less and since you're blubbering about the girl who told the staff at the Sidwell Friends School not to call you to get an aspirin because you were busy, you can get a pass from all the mothers.

So, Chelsea?

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Oooo! Dare I suggest, that perhaps Bill has been suffering from post traumatic succession syndrome? That would take care of many problems and offer a wonderful chance for Hillary to gain more sympathy and at the same time, we could easily come up with a conspiracy of the VRWC to do him in! Hillary would be free to seek other Hildo substitutes, would not have to worry about the sure and certain future embarrassment Bill certainly represents, and she could have a little revenge just to make it taste better. Plus, with Bill being a rather active man, it would be easy to envisage him as falling off the ski lift as I suggested. Oh my Lenin! The possibilities! The opportunity this would present! Now it really wouldn't do much to fire up the antiwar crowd, but we need to damp this down anyway for when the Empress takes command anyway.

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Empress, why not have Chelsea commit suicide

Dare I suggest, that perhaps Bill

You two fools....that would have to be an assassination, not a suicide. If it was a suicide it would cast a shadow on my perfection. After all, why, if anyone related to ME, would they become depressed enough to commit suicide? Of course not!
They'd be the happiest people alive.
Hmmmm.....assassination? The sympathy vote?

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Your Highness! That is exactly what we think... imagine the sympathy that would be coming your way as you are seen dressed in black, wiping the tears from your eyes... and in my scenario, saying good bye to, well, lets face it, someone who has already "stained" your good name. I understand Bill wants to be meeting with foreign dignitaries as your representative in your coming reign... I can well imagine the potential pitfalls this could lead to. Now of course I can also see an assassination scenario to be better, but even if we go the suicide route, SMERSH can make it look the way we want it... Bill distraught by post traumatic succession syndrome, jealous that he was not loved as much as you, distraught over you know Hsu, any number of reasons. Now I agree that I am unable to think of any reason why Chelsea would go that route, but Bill? Of course, if we were to go that route, we would want to leave just enough clues about to suggest that perhaps your enemies were behind it.

I understand Bill wants to be meeting with foreign dignitaries as your representative in your coming reign

When can the foreign dignitaries expect their interns back?

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Who cares about their interns? What of their wives? Or in some cases, even the leaders of those countries.

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Yes, Empress, I think that assassination is the ticket. And of course you will be sure to take out huge insurance policies, and suggest to the insurers that they did not after all do sufficient bookkeeping when you upped the coverage, and it will go better for them if they find an extra dozen million to tide you over until you steal everyone's property and money--just as a good Progressive is bound to by the Oath of Marx.

But black widow's weeds? You'd better make sure the light's good lest someone think the black dress is blue.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:You'd better make sure the light's good lest someone think the black dress is blue.

....and no stains....


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But black widow's weeds? You'd better make sure the light's good lest someone think the black dress is blue.
It's teal....mine is teal. Monica what's-her-face was blew...umm...blue. And salt gets out blood stains. Trust me.
BTW...the policies are paid...Lloyd's of London of course.

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<shaking in fine Italian leather wingtips> Ummm... Your Excellency... uhhh... ummm... what are we to do with Chris Dodd after his insolence last night at the debate. Uhhh... ummmm... just wondering? <shields face from any incoming airborne objects>

Chairman! you fool, you've doomed us all! (hides behind chairman)

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Great Stalin's Ghost! I just saw the unbelievable, unfathomable attack he made on the Empress! Er...Chariman, have you finished that fallout shelter yet? If not, you are of course welcome to join me in my laboratory beneath my Doghouse Fortress of Solitude till the storm blows over. It's not going to be pretty I am sure.

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Your Excellency... uhhh... ummm... what are we to do with Chris Dodd after his insolence last night at the debate. Uhhh... ummmm... just wondering?

This is why I am the most qualified candidate to rule the world....that didn't come out right....I mean lead this great nation of MINE...I mean ours, because I can provide the answers to tough questions like this one posed by the Chairman.

The answer to your question Meow is add Dodd to the F@%KING PURGE LIST.
You can go change your shorts now Meow.

H08

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Empress, mine empress, don't get your trotters in a twist. You know we all adore you and will follow you anywhere, for none of us is stupid enough to turn our back.

About your clothing. May I suggest something in a synthetic leather? It would look very fetching and will take a really good tension. That cellulite can be <i>so</i> tough to hide, as I'm sure that Babs Mikulski told you--you'd never know personally, of course, not at all.

And that synthetic leather is a breeze to clean. I don't care what lube you use with your toys, a little carbon tet will take it right off, and not even mar the finish. And it's resistant to abrasion, too--I've had Union Carbide in Bhopal--the part that people can work in for more than 15 minutes without teratogenesis, come up with a synthetic leather made of Kevlar--formula liberated of course from DuPont, that can actually take a UL test of the carborundum-coated cantaloupe tip of the Hildo Hydra 7.9--the one that takes a 3" spanner to put on--for three hours with only a mild discoloration.

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Celllulite Commissar? Are you implying that Her Highness has a flaw of any sort?



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But is he real Premier? LOL!

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I got behind a truck the other day that actually bore vanity plates that said "Premier." Needless to say after getting over the initial shock at such audacity, I had the cad arrested, confiscated his truck, home, bank accounts, and wife, in that order, and sent his children off for re-education. No need to thank me.... it was all the thanks I needed.

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Good he got what was coming to him. That first video I posted didn't have sound when I watched it, so you couldn't hear his opening speech and stuff. Here's a more thorough version, but poorer quality.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=G1ycPVAAzWI

And I don't think he exists anymore.


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He's my favorite character. See how much he care s for other people? He wants them to be beautiful, and if they are beautiful, then they are happy. He's a role model for us all.

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The Pup knows then he best get some defensive weapons....

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Yes. Defensive weapons are good to have. just as long as they are only in the hands of party members.

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=8

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Oh gee, thanks Betty, that is all I need, to start reading the comics on this site again! I both neither have the time, and have been left disturbed over "NSFH, Not Safe For HUMANITY" comic with Star Fox. I will never be able to play Star Fox 64 ever again.

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Lucky for me, I never played Star Fox. Why don't you just check out the latest one, it's not as bad, but still kinda... um... strange.

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Are you talking about the Transformers one? Besides the part with Jaz, I loved it, mostly because the it is like in the movie. You remember the ending scene? If I were bummble bee I would be like; "ew! get off my hood! You see that tree over there?! Over there now!! Get off me!! You wanna take a trip into space without a suite, boy!!"

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You liked the Transformer movie? I saw it mostly because there was nothing else to see that I hadn't seen at the time. Surely didn't do anything for me.

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When I first saw the commercial for the movie, I thought; "you have got to be kidding me". I had only watched maybe 30 minutes of any transformers show, and thought that a real-life movie could only be worse. I went with my family to see it when it came out because we were going to the theater anyway and there was nothing else really good there. It surprised me. I thought that robots turning to and from cars would be pathetic, but they ended up doing it so well. Although, -2 points. At the end of the movie the government covered it all up. Uh, I do not know how they would do that when half of a city is wiped out and there were hundreds of witnesses, but all in all it was good, I liked it. At least now we know what is in the Hoover Dam (along with Stargate Command and Area 51) ;).

Why did the jet have to be the bad guy (wwwwhhhhaaaaa!!!!!!)


 
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