ACLU Lawyers Volunteer to Get Their Heads Sawed Off



When the Taliban complain about broken AC in their cells, what else can we do but allow them to saw our heads off?
In an unprecedented display of compassion, volunteers from the ACLU and Amnesty International are lining up to get their heads sawed off by disgruntled Taliban prisoners. This new spirit of international caring has its genesis in the Human Shields tradition.
In January of 2003, thirty human shield volunteers and three double-decker buses left London to pick up other volunteers throughout Europe on their way to save the Iraqi dictatorship. At their peak in Iraq, they numbered approximately 500, proud of their role as sacrificial offerings on the altar of diversity, anti-Americanism, moral relativity and the advancement of Islam.

Amnesty International: And we even supply the so-called 'prisoners' with rusty saws!

ACLU leader: I can't get enough of the beheading videos. Every time I replay them, The Greater Good™ gets closer and closer. It's such a turn-on.
In this sense, the sawing off heads is an unprecedented opportunity. I can't explain it rationally but this guy at the International Socialist Party said so. Now I'm the enlightened one."
Nadine Strossen of the ACLU agreed, but had some reservations. "With so many of our lawyers going under the rusty blade, we run the risk of diminishing our ability to provide our Guantanamo customers with the quality legal services that they deserve."


Another point of optimism is that United States Senator Richard "Dick" Durbin has enthusiastically volunteered to have his head sawed off. "Not even Pol Pot denied his victims three telephone lines in each room, secure remote printing, ergonomic chairs, a microwave, and a whirlpool. Not even the Nazis denied their victims in-room movie channels. Therefore, as a gesture to our guests, and a symbol from America to the world, I will proudly march into a cell and plead with the guests to please saw my head off. They are our customers, and our customers are always right."

Dissident Agitator No. 96
Create a 'dialogue' for common good...
Dan Rather lost his head for the common good...
Billy lost his 'because he could'...
Well shall never surrender the common!
All hail the average!
No cable for Terrorists!
No cable for Anyone!
Elsworth Toohey
Let us think about the irony of this. Gitmo... torture camp. Cuba... revolutionary paradise.
It all makes sense...
Commie Ricko
Anonymous
Gitmo is on the island of Cuba, right?Let us think about the irony of this. Gitmo... torture camp. Cuba... revolutionary paradise.
It all makes sense...The point is well taken and about right for what is happening. America is off course and George W. Bush is intoxicated at the wheel with his power. Even the word terrorism has new meaning for me; self defense! The terroist of course is George W. and anything the so called "enemy" does is understandible. How he does it illustrates just how much power he has. Let's all saw off our heads and have a blood bath!
bryankdonnelly
Overdue
By the way, what do you call a thousand ACLU lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?


Overdue
It's a good start.By the way, what do you call a thousand ACLU lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
Are you talking about our plan to put all the ACLU lawyers on a ship in the middle of the ocean without life boats or life jackets and then sink it in a military training exercise by the New Peoples Red Army after the revolution?
Raalnan5