Al-Qaeda Kidnaps Obama's Teleprompter

In an audacious raid Friday, al-Qaeda terrorists managed to slip past White House security and seize President Obama's teleprompter. Their demands were released in a grainy video, which apparently showed the president's teleprompter, bound and blindfolded but unharmed, while heavily armed masked men stood behind it, quoting from the Qur'an. The content of their demands is not being released.

President Obama, visibly shaken, attempted to address the White House press corps on his own. "Words, uh, um, I, uh, heh-heh, well..."


"We need a verb!" shouted David Gregory of MSNBC."I uh, know that," quipped the president testily. "And... I'll make sure my staff, uh, gets back with you," he resumed after regaining his composure.

Bravely attempting to continue his speech without the teleprompter, Mr. Obama said, "Um, let me be, uh, clear. Um, this barbaric act will not be, you know, tolerated. And... We call on all nations to help us fi-fi-find that, uh, you know, teleprompter. You're either with us or, um, against us. And... I have authorized CIA director, uh, Leon Panetta to use, um, enhanced interrogation techniques to be e-e-employed to help us gain, um, like facts and stuff... that these uh, you know, evildoers may have. And... I have directed that one prisoner be executed every 30 minutes until they-they-they restore that, uh, you know, teleprompter."

Vice President Joseph "Fightin' Joe" Biden spoke next. "Let me at 'em!" the former senator growled. "I know where these people work. After our helicopter was forced down in Afghanistan, I held these thugs off for a week in bitter hand-to-hand fighting. You'd better mark my words: the only language these Neanderthals understand is brute force, and they're messing with the wrong man. Sure everybody thinks we're a bunch of imbeciles up here, and that may be true, but let me tell you, they've got another thing coming. We're in this fight for the long haul, or as I like to say it, 'If necessary for years, if necessary alone.'"

"Until that teleprompter is found," fumed Senate majority leader Harry Reid, we must, and we will prosecute this war to victory. I assure the president of the full, bipartisan support of the US Senate. Defeat is not an option."

"Why these terrorist animals aren't on the rack having their bones slowly pulled out of their sockets is beyond me," complained House speaker Nancy Pelosi. "I mean, I know that the 9-11 attacks were totally inappropriate, and like all Americans I was shocked by the environmental damage, but this latest action is beyond the pale. Clearly, it points to the failure of the last administration," continued Pelosi. "Contrary to my urgings to use any medieval form of torture they could conceive of, they insisted on being overly concerned about the rights and humane treatment of these, these, ugh! I don't care if I personally have to pull out their fingernails with rusty pliers! That teleprompter must be restored to the American people."

In the meantime, the Pentagon has cancelled all leave while anonymous sources report that the Strategic Air Command and nuclear missile submarines have had their level of readiness raised to DEFCON 1.
 

may God obama? have mercy on our souls....
 

Thanks for the graphics and modifications, Red.
 

My Dear Comrades,

There is a way to retrieve our beloved teleprompter.
You threaten them with the wrath of Comrade Hillary!



Then we'll have it back just in time for me to prepare his next speech.
by the way, Greetings, Dear Leader, it's an honor to appear on the same website with you.
All the best, Saul!
 

Nice try. You cannot impede the progress of the "World of next Tuesday" - nothing can. Dear leader simply devises new methods of progressivism:



Шовел 4 У

Маы тхе лорд обама граце ёур дача витх хеавы тах бурден тодаы.
 

I think it's good for Obama to speak from his heart. Once I heard him expound on Socialism, he didn't need a teleprompter and he spoke clearly and with passion, not a single umm or ahhh sullied his delivery.

It seems to me that he only stammers and falters when he's being forced to speak words that go against his own deeply held beliefs. Words that paint him as a moderate.

Let's hear the real Obama in his own words for a change (we can believe in).
 

They'll never break comrade teleprompter. He'll never talk. Wait... does he even know he's been kidnapped?
Apparently not: or at least his blog doesn't reflect it yet.
 

Why is his his blog calling Janet Napolitano "Bruno"? Can she sing Tico Tico in a baritone voice while wearing a fruit basket on her head?
 

Now how will I get to sleep without the wonderful tails Dear Leaders teleprompter used to spin?
 

So does this mean our Islamic friends are our enemies until we get the teleprompter back?
 

Oh, please. Even Al Qaeda knows that the only business doing any hiring in the US nowadays is the teleprompter industry; the President is never at a loss for words.(Maybe someday some of them will mean something, but don't hold your breath.)
 

Dear Great Leader, Kim Jong-Il,

Merciful Kim Jong-Il

may God obama? have mercy on our souls....
It's indeed a great honor, Dear Leader, to reply to you. Only you can be the most merciful, Dear Leader. I will have Obama to pattern our new Gulag labor camps after yours in order that he can be merciful to our [heh! heh!] political prisoners guests.

Congratulations, Dear Leader, on your nuclear bomb test! How delightfully exciting! I will send Obama, without his teleprompter, to Pyongyang to grovel to you. I got him to bow down to King Abdullah, so he owes you that. I'll have him bring you some DVDs! How about Dr. Strangelove?

 

I second that, comrade Leader, congratulations on a successful claiming to have tested an underground missile (and claiming several surface to airs as well). May all your claims be equally momentous in the future.
 

Just hook the legendary Comrade Castro up to a phone line that reaches an ear piece in our Dear Leader's ear, have our Master B.O. repeat whatever he says, and keep our Dear Leader talking for nine hours at a stretch.

In the meantime, have our Dear Laika the Space Dog beam all of Dear Master's speeches to Al Jazeera for all to hear, including the kidnappers, who will be driven crazy and beg to return TOTUS back to Master.

Although, I like Comrade Saul Alinsky's suggestion, too.


 

Citizen's

Obama "speachless"? I think not, remember Lincoln created the first "teleprompter" by writing the Gettysburg address on the back of an envelope! Obama just needs to use his imagination.......

Publius




 

Comrade Leninka! Thank you for the great submission. Be assured that Comrade Castro isn't the only one sending transmissions to Dear Leader's ear.


 

Comrade Alinsky,

I personally am always delighted when you honor our web site with your scholarly wisdom. Like you and Comrade General Secretary B. Hussain Obama, I too congratulate Comrade Kim Jong-Il on their successful nuclear bomb test and missile tests. This will no doubt strike fear into AmeriKa's already fragile economy. But there are a few things that concern me.

First, counter-revolutionary anti-socialist forces have begun to "out" you and your teachings that His Excellency, General Secretary B. Hussain Obama mastered so thoroughly. See as an example:http://www.ibdeditorials.com/IBDArticles.aspx?id=318470857908277. Clearly they must be silenced.

Second, what has happened to our useful idiots comrades in revolutionary jihad, al-Qaeda? Instead of hurting our mutual cause by swiping His Excellency's teleprompter, should they be making preparations for another devastating attack (a la 9/11) thus plunging our current, evil, racist, capitalist economy into a complete collapse?

--
Zamplolit Blokhayev
 

Greetings Comrade Lenika,

Leninka

Just hook the legendary Comrade Castro up to a phone line that reaches an ear piece in our Dear Leader's ear, have our Master B.O. repeat whatever he says, and keep our Dear Leader talking for nine hours at a stretch.

In the meantime, have our Dear Laika the Space Dog beam all of Dear Master's speeches to Al Jazeera for all to hear, including the kidnappers, who will be driven crazy and beg to return TOTUS back to Master.

Although, I like Comrade Saul Alinsky's suggestion, too.Why, thank you, Comrade Lenika!

We will soon find that, upon return of the teleprompter, it will be reprogrammed with the teachings of Al Jazzera - ha! ha! - the lapdogs, er, news media will never figure it out, but we must reprogram it back to my teachings anyway. I'd like to read it first, heh! heh! Well, he is Muslim, so, what the hell, let him read from it a few times before we fix it. Anything to destroy the bourgeois reactionaries. Heh! Maybe the Al-Jazeria scripts could be shown here on The Peoples Cube.
All the best, comrade,
Saul
 

I have it on good authority (authority is always a good word to use when discussing party biz) that the Cord on the Teleprompter was cut and it has had two of it's Diodes tweaked. These terrorist party members in temporary exile mean business obviously.I am sure once they have spliced the cord and un tweaked the diodes they will be allowed back into the comfortable folds of protection offered by 'The One'. I also heard he offered to provide surge protection for it so it would not suffer while being held. Anything over four hours you know........
 

Greetings Comrade Blokhayev,

Zampolit Blokhayev

Comrade Alinsky,
I personally am always delighted when you honor our web site with your scholarly wisdom. Like you and Comrade General Secretary B. Hussain Obama, I too congratulate Comrade Kim Jong-Il on their successful nuclear bomb test and missile tests. T... Yes, and thank you, Comrade Blokhayev,
we must send Comrade Obama, the annointed one, to The Dear Leader, Kim Jung-IL, to personally congratulate him and the peace loving people of the great PDRK.

Quote:

First, counter-revolutionary anti-socialist forces have begun to "out" you and your teachings that His Excellency, General Secretary B. Hussain Obama mastered so thoroughly. See as an example:http://www.ibdeditorials.com/IBDArticles.aspx?id=318470857908277. Clearly they must be silenced. Yes, we are going to shut down these vile talk show hosts - we'll outsource their re-education to The Dear Leader, Kim Jung-IL.

Quote:

Second, what has happened to our useful idiots comrades in revolutionary jihad, al-Qaeda? Instead of hurting our mutual cause by swiping His Excellency's teleprompter, should they be making preparations for another devastating attack (a la 9/11) thus plunging our current, evil, racist, capitalist economy into a complete collapse? No worry, there's a great debate scheduled between The Teleprompter and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, although we might have to send "The One" to this debate without it. I'll instruct Comrade Obama to apologize to him and bow to him, then everything will settle down. Cheer up, Comrade Blokhayev, we're winning! We're paving the way to Communism - the destiny of all mankind.
 

Thank you, Comrade Alinsky!!! Your words are most reassuring!!!

--
ZB
 

Red Square

Comrade Leninka! Thank you for the great submission. Be assured that Comrade Castro isn't the only one sending transmissions to Dear Leader's ear.



Thank you Comrade Red Square,

I never doubted for a moment, Comrade Laika's influence on both TOTUS and our Dear Leader, especially those times when Our Dear Leader has mocked any evil Rethuglicans, tickling the funny bones of millions of Progs.
 

For internal Politboro use only.... From the KGB


Don't worry, we have replaced Obama's TOTUS with a new implanted device which recieves signals directly from the Kremlin. We needed to stage the attack to make Obama look strong..


Brezhnev and Putin out....
 

Premier Brezhnev

For internal Politboro use only.... From the KGB


Don't worry, we have replaced Obama's TOTUS with a new implanted device which recieves signals directly from the Kremlin. We needed to stage the attack to make Obama look strong..


Brezhnev and Putin out....

Comrade. The quote is. ''Your words fall on Deaf Ears''. What makes you think he can hear? 'The One is an accomplished Line Reader. Hence the 'Love Affair' with the TOTUS. It must be returned. Elst (I like Elst) he will Pine away to nothing. He has already rejected 'The Female One" and refuses to have anything to do with her until she wears a Sandwhich Board with his message on it.
 

Red

Why is his his blog calling Janet Napolitano "Bruno"? Can she sing Tico Tico in a baritone voice while wearing a fruit basket on her head?
I did not want to reveal it but when Janet Napolitano gets to the Rancho it's worse than that other Janet, the Waco Bomber. She's the only thing to scare the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits.
 

I can inform the Collective that Dr. Fritz Mengele has been hired by Jiffi-Lobo to install a micro TelePrompTer which will display the messages received from Laika on the inside of a good comrade's eyeballs. This will make the normal TelePrompTers obsolete.

It is possible however that al Qaeda might kidnap the head of the prog, but since progs feel in their hearts and never think, this will prove only to be disadvantage when a prog goes into the rain with an improperly sewed-up head amputation.
 

 

Yes! He shines with an inner light! It's Globama!

Lead, us, Your Royal Highness, Son of TelePrompTer, to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday, that is Next Tuesday, the first one in November 2012, which will be just another day.
 

Zampolit Blokhayev

Thank you, Comrade Alinsky!!! Your words are most reassuring!!!
ZBThank you again, Comrade Blokhayev, and Greetings, Comrade Commissar Theocritus.

I am pleased to announced that we are going to solve this little misunderstanding with The Dear Leader, Kim Jong-IL, once and for all, just as soon as we have our teleprompter back; or just as soon as we can rig up something for Comrade SoetoroObama to use.

My dear comrades, the greatest announcement in the history of Communism!

Comrade President Soetoro Obama is going to SURRENDER the USSA to The Dear Leader - Kim Jong IL.
It's for The Greater Good!
The masses demanded change, they're going to get change. Heh! heh! To start things off right left, every room of every house and building will display pictures of The Dear Leader- Kim Jong IL.


The Dear Leader




 

Saul, I'm worried that it might be a triumvirate: Dear Leader, Osama Bin Laden, and George Soros. What about all the egos concerned? It didn't work in Rome. Could it work here?
 

Let's ask the Teleprompter! Oh we can't. It's still in bondage. Bondage? Hey!!!!!! Is that thing perverted? A S&M Teleprompter? I was always suspicious of it. It seemed to like being hurt. Like in Colorado when it flew off the stand and former comrade Biden asked the million dollar questions, ''How will I tell the President I broke his Teleprompter?'' ''What he going to do now?''

 

Commissar Theocritus

Saul, I'm worried that it might be a triumvirate: Dear Leader, Osama Bin Laden, and George Soros. What about all the egos concerned? It didn't work in Rome. Could it work here?

 

My only concern is the annual physical of His O'liness. I hope that during the proctological examination the doctors do not find George Soros' ring. That could cause peritonitis.
 

Guardian of Pravda

Let's ask the Teleprompter! Oh we can't. It's still in bondage. Bondage? Hey!!!!!! Is that thing perverted? A S&M Teleprompter? I was always suspicious of it. It seemed to like being hurt. Like in Colorado when it flew off the stand and former comrade Biden asked the million dollar questions, ''How will I tell the President I broke his Teleprompter?'' ''What he going to do now?''


Hmmm a kinky teleprompter? This bears investigation. Right after I get these ropes and things off of my chief investigatress.
 

Commissar_Elliott

So does this mean our Islamic friends are our enemies until we get the teleprompter back?

Comrade Commissar Elliott,

While I would take this as a casus belli, or case our belly, since it is thought crime of a rare sort: stealing prog thought from the Prog in Chief, I fear you are not nuanced enough. I mean, which Islamic friends? And is not the teleprompter in fact redistributed to those who, since they stole it, clearly needed it more?

I must consult my Little Red Book on this one.
 

Publius Valerius

Citizen's

Obama "speachless"? I think not, remember Lincoln created the first "teleprompter" by writing the Gettysburg address on the back of an envelope! Obama just needs to use his imagination.......

Publius





Shouldn't that be '10? Gotta get the masses angry (and if you're not angry, you're not thinking) in advance!

But otherwise, "Huzzah!"
 

Commissar Theocritus

Yes! He shines with an inner light! It's Globama!

{prog status of}
This is good, marketable good: a glo-stick 0bama. You the prog break bend his neck back so he can look up at his invisible Teleprompter of Truth, thus enabling Him to radiate progressivism!

Feeling in the dark? Lost, dazed, and confused? Forget chicken soup for your soul or sole:
Let Gl0bama guide you!
{prog status on}
 

Hmmm if our Islamic allies and friends redistributed the TOTUS it is plain they need it more than we do, as I'm sure their teleprompter technology lags behind ours.

Also is there not usually a SPARE TOTUS? Thus we have two and they have none, so the prog thing to do would be give them three.
 

I worry about viruses on the TelePrompTer. His O'liness has had several mishaps. Perhaps Bill Gates should be made into a cabinet-level officer in charge of TelePrompTers, although it ought to be run on DOS because DOS just didn't crash like Windows.

Just think of the wreckage that would be caused in the world if TOTUS has POTUS say, for example, at a graduation ceremony for a sports-mad college, "Where's the football? Press the goddamned button and kiss your ass good-by, Putin! We will have a true socialist victory. Tell me that there are some problems that government can't solve" instead of "Congratulations on your football victory."
 

Guardian of Pravda

Let's ask the Teleprompter! Oh we can't. It's still in bondage. Bondage? Hey!!!!!! Is that thing perverted? A S&M Teleprompter? I was always suspicious of it. It seemed to like being hurt. Like in Colorado when it flew off the stand and former comrade Biden asked the million dollar questions, ''How will I tell the President I broke his Teleprompter?'' ''What he going to do now?''


Comrade Guardian! Beware of such speech. The verkhovnyi sovet is working on a bill that makes this a thought crime. For real. However, by Lenin, is it possible that The One may be guilty of such crimes himself if he refuses the GLBT unions? Read this quote from a current article in the reactionary worldnetdaily:

"Obama, supported strongly during his campaign by homosexual advocates, appears ready to respond to their desires."

What 'desires' did the homosexual advocates have in mind?

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=99486
 

"WASHINGTON – Barack Obama has promised the mother of Matthew Shepard fast action in the U.S. Senate to approve a 'hate crimes' bill that critics say would establish the first special legal protections for pedophiles and those with an array of other sexual proclivities."

Calling it the pedophile protection bill--this is simply vicious meanness. Most pedophiles are straight. Get it? Straight. the problem with pedophilia is, ready for this? Pedophilia. This is the same sort of slash-and-burn rubbish that the moonbats use when they link "conservative" to "Nazi."

Because in this case they're right.

560,000 letters? Jeez. There are times that I almost become a Democrat.

I do not approve of hate-crime legislation; killing me is no worse than killing my straight brother. Murder is murder. There are legal reasons for civil unions between adults--and don't even go toward "marrying your pet"; I'll rip out your throat and shit in the hole.

There is a very good conservative reason for civil unions. To keep gay children, who do not, and pay attention now, choose to be gay, from leaving their roots and families, becoming deracinated, meaning uprooted (sorry for being condescending), and falling under the suasion of moonbats in San Francisco and New York.

Do you like seeing bearded men dressed as roller-skating nuns? I don't either. If a kid didn't feel forced to leave his family, his friends, then the foot soldiers for the moonbattery would simply decline into blatant absurdity. As it is, gays in small towns and conservative towns have to be brave and empowered--money, abilities, intelligence--to be openly gay. What about gays of lesser ability? They need their family and friends more than the other ones do. And when they hear this wretched meanness--pedophile-protection bill my aching ass--they with perfect reason feel scared. And they go to the Democratic party.

Do you know just how hard it is to get gays not to vote Democrat with vicious monsters like this howling in their insular, squinty-eyed self-righteousness?

As long as this rubbish continues the Republican Party will continue to drive off people, because they may like the economic policies, the policies of self-reliance but would anyone not one of these right-wing moonbats be a Republican after seeing their squinty letter-writing hatred?
 

Comrade Commissar,

in the spirit of moderation, my post and the link was not meant to offend. Deep down inside, I believe the author of the article and you have the same goal in mind. A crime is a crime is a crime. There is no need for special legislation as it makes one group more equal than another.

The article does not say that pedophiles are homosexual. But what makes a homosexual or a pedophile more special than a straight person or someone who is after people of adult age? Gays=pedophiles did not even come to mind. What actually came to mind is what The One would do if one of his daughters were molested and they bit him.

In any case, the reason I quoted the article is for the sentence above in light of the kinky teleprompter...

Mea culpa for disturbing the peace of the World of Next Tuesday.
 

Sorry for having flown off the handle; I was inflamed, and still am, at that crowd. Hallmark made some cards for anniversaries for gay people--this is wonderful. Think of the stability. There is nothing that I want more than stability in the gay community.

This is the group that wrote hate letters to Hallmark. Pepsi gave a grant to a gay outreach group in Pepsico. I do not believe in preferential treatment but Pepsi took the stance that they wanted talent, no matter where. This is the stance that WalMart, Apple, IBM, and a hundred other firms took. But this group wrote hate letters and boycotted Pepsi. Swanson Broth had a commercial with a lesbian couple. This is the group boycotting Campbell's products. Why? Meanness.

No, the article does not say that homosexuals are pedophiles. But the implication is there. "The pedophile protection bill" from a hate-crime bill? Rank polemics.

I am personally irritated by these people cutting off their noses to spite their faces. And my face too. Conservatives need all the help that we can get; the affluent have defected to the Demothieves, using them I think as a personal shopper for their conspicuous consumption. I have conservative friends who voted for His O'liness despite severe problems with the Jeremiah Wright connection because they fear the religious right. And they're straight people too.

And what about the great preponderance of decent conservative Christians that I know? Why is it only the kooks that make the noise? Well perhaps kooks make noise.

I wish someone would take these people to the outhouse and 'splain to them that they are a major reason for the decline in the Republican party.
 

All criminals treated equally. It is the Party philosophy. Everyone except the leadership is a Criminal. Also Party Philosophy.
 

Spasibo, tovarishtsh Guardian!

All criminals to gulag with shovel. If leadership works them hard enough they will not have time for criminal behavior.
 

Da.
However old Gulag closing, new one opening. Old one had Stigma attached and had to be closed until stigma dissipates.
They will issue new shovels in same old hands. However everyone will feel good at new surroundings. Comes with heated water and lava lamp. What means Krakatoa?
 

Heated water and a lava lamp? Does that mean we make prole soup?

If I don't get to use my impaling stakes any more I'm going to be one pissed-off commissar.
 

Special holes have formed in the rock structure which allows the stakes to be 'rooted' in the rock.
Fires at the feet are optional.
 

Comrade Commissar (may I call you Vlad?)

After impaling, will dissenter's heads be severed posted on stakes by gates of gulag? Next to sign reading "Work will set you free!"
 

Sign must be posted using TelePrompter. Teleprompter will also point out how you can get a head in life through the party.
 

"Work will set you free" (Arbeit mach frei) is also the concept behind the official Soviet name for a hard labor camp - "Corrective Labor Colony."

Anyone making colon jokes in this regard will be summarily impaled by Commissar Theocritus who seems to be in the proper mood for it right now.
 

Can we be impaled in the Winterly. I go surfing in the summarily.
 

Comrade Pelosi cannot, and I repeat, was not told or cannot remember if TOTUS has been waterboarded or not....
 

Is OK. She cannot remember being Botoxed either. The Grin resembles Rictus.
 

Pravda, Peloski's grin really is a rictus. Her cortex has been fossilized for some years now. But this leads to a question. If it is her hand up Globama's ass, whose hand is up her ass?

By all means Genosse Pieck, do call me Vlad. I try not to do more impaling than necessary; one needs proles, of course. How do you think I can man the Jiffi-Lobos? I only impale when the Jiffi-Lobos have been unsuccessful. There are a few people who, and you will not credit it, have been resistant to the Metzenbaum scissors twirled in their prefrontal lobes and no matter how energetic the lobotomist has been, these poor people have refused to see the light, or refused rather to refuse to see the light. Which I find to be an interesting logical conundrum, and that means...

...sorry. Just got back from a tune-up at Jiffi-Lobo. I'm feeling much better now.

And as far as impaling goes, I suspect that we will be treated to the sight of Comradette Peloski becoming increasingly absurd, but our Comrades in the Democratic party will be able to do nothing about it. She cannot have obtained her lofty position without knowing where all the bodies are buried. I would love to have seen the bargaining over her ascension to the speakership. But her amour propre and her love of the limelight will not permit her resignation. We are in for good times, comrades.



I did become very exercised over the right-wing moonbats' ideological purity. Some thinker--Midge Decter?--said that conservatism was the only political philosophy which was not ideological. It was based on experience, and informed by experience. It did not seek to impose its own emotional weather on reality. It much distresses me to see people who ought to be natural allies, for a true greater good, indulging in Freud's narcissism of small differences. Here are people driving away all gays, when gays have time, money, and energy, and brand loyalty. And after gays, what else? When all that is left are the few people who agree with you in every facet, and then there are pograms. This is the sort of mentality that makes people retreat into camps with like-minded people instead of making common cause with people wanting most of their aims, and managing to get power instead of grumbling out of power. But squirming in the pleasure of those put on by a world which does not see their virtue. The glow of the martyr.

This is the realm of ideology, and cults like Jim Jones. Conservatism is the stance of dour and sour people, like me, who realize that people are people and someone has to mind the store. It ought not be relegated to sectarian disagreements with holier-than-thou arguments.

Remember Monty Python's Life of Brian? There was the People's Judaean front, and the People's Front of Judea, and they rang the changes on that and the differences were minor. Nothing pleases the true moonbats more than infighting over trivialities among the right.

I got inflamed about people "critics call it the pedophile protection bill" when our government is spending trillions of dollars to reward socialist placemen. Surely a bigger problem.
 

I know that no pedophile deserves protection. None should be offered by left or right.
Special Laws such as this generally achieve nothing. I for one would not enforce it.
I would leave that to the Judicial types. On both sides there is extremist reactions to extremist proposals. There are those in any camp who hate. Sometimes just to have somewhere to vent their own frustrations and self loathing. None are so pious as is the sinner.
 

Pravda

None are so pious as is the sinner.
Indeed. Inside every mea culpa there is a strong whiff of passive-aggression. Christ said, "Go and sin no more," he did not say, "Beat your breast and denounce yourself."

I am I suppose an extraordinarily lucky man. I walk, completely unfettered, in a small town and have managed to overcome the fears of my youth. My most generous understanding of some of these people is that they are afraid.

But I can only blame some of their leaders. Frighten people; present yourself as having a solution; get power. It's worked forever and it still works. But without exception I've had no problems here in being openly gay. But then I'm lucky; I'm useful. I fix things. I make things happen. I handle other people's property and money and it, cough, cough, always turns out right. This gives me a lot of power and I can follow the dictates of my mind without being ruled by fear.

I got a graphic from a woman I know with the pictures of the presidents. Obama had two white eyes in a black background. This is also the sort of thing which drives people away. I will go to the mat with anyone who suggests that Obama is not the worst president we've ever had--a smug, apologizing socialist--but making jokes like that drives people away.

And, no matter what ACORN does, votes still count. At least some.
 

On my First Tour in Nam our Platoon Corpsman was a known Homosexual. We flat out did not care. He knew we knew and vise versa. Had any one touched him or given him a hard time they would have suffered our wrath, No one did. We did not care. He did not push it in our face or make a big deal of it. If he had a lover no one knows who it was and no one cared. So be it in the US Marine Corp. No one feared him either.
He went where we went, Suffered what we suffered and eventually was wounded and Medivaced. How many lives he saved before that I can only guess at but it was up there in the double digits and high on the tree. There was another in A Company he was a Marine. Still is called one and still is treated as such at our re-unions.
Again no 'in your face' approach by him.
It's really for the most part that simple. No parades.
 

Guardian of Pravda

What means Krakatoa?

Comrade Guardian of Pravda,

You are an expert in Truth Studies, so you surely know more than I but Krakatoa was confirmed to have lowered global temperatures naturally. This violates the Party line, so I hope you will find a way to truthify this inconvenient truth.
 

Guardian of Pravda

Again no 'in your face' approach by him.

{prog off}
That's the key: no "in your face." When I heard 0bama tell his zombies to go out and get in people's faces, I knew the next four years were going to be bad, very bad. That ignorant aggressive divisive statement increased my opposition to 0bama to a whole new level.

I'm a physical wuss, but had I been in the US then, I think I would have bought a stun gun. Talk about "People Power," how about 50K volts of it when you get in my face about voting for 0bama, comrade?
{prog on}
 

Comrades with Photoshop abilities. What about a Progressive Off icon? Like a, er, dead Prog?

I quite agree about no in-your-face. That's thuggery no matter who does it. And I believe it is appropriate to react to people like that with whatever means necessary. I'd respond like Tovarich were some prog to start screaming in my face. But if I were buttonholed by someone at a mall saying that the world was ending because gays weren't throw into jail, I'd respond too.

Here's Barry O, acting like a thug. Well, are we surprised?
 

And Prava, thank you for your service to your--our--country.

Nothing enrages me more than people using liberties paid for by other people's blood to scorn the very people who paid the price.

Once in the middle of the night in a hostelry I woke and HBO was showing Taking Chance. I found it so moving that I could not finish watching it. Unlike the Hollywood propagandistic films. Pace Oscar Wilde: You have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at, well Oliver Stone.
 

Commissar Theocritus,

Prog off for a moment.

I could care less about your sexual orientation. I am also a Veteran who recently retired after 20 years in the U.S Navy. I have had similar experiences that Prava also alluded to in my career as far as people who have a different sexual preference than my own.
I have to agree with you that the Republican party through its use of emotional 'wedge issues' such as gay marriage, has done more harm then good to what a real conservative in my opinion, is really all about. I don't think a piece of paper that acknowledges a loving long term relationship with a single partner is going to somehow ruin our great Republic in some fashion.
I always thought it was silly and most of all the Conservatives that I know feel the same the way.
I do draw the line thought at this though. You may not like my following opinion but I wish to impart to you that this in no way lessens my respect for your posts, now or in the future, it is just the conclusion that I have come to after much deep thought and debate with others on the subject.

I would draw the line at allowing a Gay couple to adopt. Not out of meaness or spite, not out of the fact that I don't believe a gay couple could make good parents, because I have known Gay people all of my life and they would. I would draw that line simply because Nature has already done it for me.

A Gay couple cannot produce a child, that is just the way it is. If we confer the right to adopt to a Gay couple then we are in fact granting a right, that never existed in the first place. We are granting a "Special Right" to them. I cannot agree with that. However I do agree with Civil Unions and the full range of benefits that a Hetro couple are entitled to should also be extended to Gay couples who make the same committed choice to each other (with the exception of adoption, for the reasons I stated above.)

I do not like the left wing Gay moonbat community and I do not like the right wing nutbag fringe that thinks just because a person happens to be gay that he or she is a social deviant in some manner.

My overall take on this is to actually modify a qoute from Martin Luther King, that really expresses what a Conservative is really all about or should be about on moral Issues ( I know I am).

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I'd change that to :

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, or sexual preference but by the content of their character.

I hope you find this post well and read it in the intention and respect I wish to confer to you in writing it to you.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums, United States Navy Retired
Prog On
 

[ Prog temporarily assigned to the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits ]
Thanks, Snoogie Woogums. I only slightly disagree with your stance on gay adoption. Were I, god forfend, a family-court judge and there were two couples wanting a child, one straight and one gay, and if they were equal in stability and resources, I would unhesitatingly award a child to the straight couple. Easier for the child.

Gay adoption is not a hot-button issue for me; I am so delighted at last not to lie in my life that it is not of overmuch concern. Perhaps a bit self-centered, but there it is. But I do wonder about a lesbian couple. With the aid of the old turkey baster and one partner's brother, they can have a child. And there is adoption by single parents.

Still, I have to admit that a lot of gay male relationships just are not that stable. A trick turns into sexual infatuation which turns into love, until it all starts over again. Oddly enough when I was younger I found that I had a lot in common with some frat boys although I was careful not to use pronouns--which they never caught. My main interest is in mainstreaming gay relationships. Not from an ethical view, nor from a laissez-faire view (thank you), but from a pragmatic (read cynical) view: at this juncture the leftist hordes are tearing down the gates and clanking their shields on the aqueducts like the Visigoths, and are shitting on the edifices of our country, out of spite.

They understand at some level that they are nothing compared to the people who came before them and it's easier to wrap themselves in their self-love and braggadocio than have the humility to admit that they do not know everything.

They are the graffiti "artists" of civilization and His O'liness is handing out the spray-paint cans.

I fail to understand why people don't understand that their way of life is being threatened by the barbarians, for they are just that.

And we need all the troops that we can muster, straight, gay, black, brown, male, female, who are not censorious about private matters but who will stand up and be counted.

BTW, you might be amused to meet some of the gays in Midland. Some of them have a knowledge of guns that nearly rivals that of someone who was in the military. And no one votes Democrat.

Thanks for your thoughts.
 

Comrade Commissar, I still twitch when I hear people casually talk about Midland... ack. The Permian Basin is not for someone who grew up on the Puget Sound!
 

Commissar Theocritus

Your a Conservative heart and soul, your private life is your own business. As a Navy guy, welcome aboard Sir, welcome aboard.

Thank You also for thoughts
 

"As a Navy guy, welcome aboard Sir, welcome aboard. " I do value that. Thanks.
 

Get that Georgian convalescent home on the line! This is a job for Carter Man. Quick use the appeasement ray!
 

Merciful Kim Jong-Il

may God obama? have mercy on our souls....

hey, Mercifur! Now that I out of the Nucrear Command Bunker Big Frash(tm) Comprex after going on a six-day rice wine bender, you can go back to the Peopre's Dear Reader Body Doubre Storage Center with all the other body doubres that I emproy.

By the way, those guys hording Comrade President Soetero's Tereprompter(tm) hostage rook eeriry simirar to theraghead terrorists heroic freedom fighters I met rast month in Tehran. But then again, arr those goat-herding turd burglars rook the same to me.

I raughed and raughed when I read American Sec Defense Bill Robert Gates press conference today. He don't know whether to shit or go brind. Maybe he make up his mind when my mighty army moves south across the Demiritarized Zone and I take my rightfur prace in the Herro Kitty Titty Bar in downtown Seour, "South" Korea. He no got a Dougras MacArthur to purr his tiny ji-ji out of the grinder this time around. Aha-ahahaha!!

Your Dear Reader,

Kim Jong Illin'
 

Hey, Dear Reader! Why you tark so much about ji ji? You tark about dem more dan Bruno tark about dem. I think you a rittah bit funny, if you know what I mean.

You rike to watch wrestring? Quick. What come next: "Crang, crang, crang went de trorrey..."

If you know dat you queerer than Richard Simmons and you got no room to tark about turd burgrars.
 

About the whole discussion above;

I am of the opinion that the very terminology we use in our culture betrays a profound misunderstanding and difficulty with the deep affections between men or between women in our culture. "Gays" are seldom really gay. In fact, what word actually works to describe the relationship? Same-sex? Homosexual? Certainly none of the pejorative terms really work. Consequently I think that we have a culture which
a. cannot fully accept or understand the intense friendships and affections that occur between people
b. puts so much emphasis on sexuality that such friendships always get lampooned or critiqued erroneously
c. has no ability see beyond the orientation to whether the people involved are decent human beings

Whenever I teach Plato - I cannot even bring up the homosexuality issue even to point out that Plato himself makes a distinction between the rampant nut cases that use other people like Alcibiades did and the normal man who has friendships and relationships with men and women

ditto with the Spartans
ditto with Alexander
ditto with authors like Willa Cather or Evelyn Waugh or Graham Greene
ditto with trying to explain the camaraderie bordering on romance shared by veterans from The Great War (as though somehow even that sort of love between men is off limits. FAUGH)

Our culture does not use the words amor, philia, eros, storge, or agape. We have one word; love. Thus we love chocolate, we love kittens, we love our children and we love God. Pretty inefficient I think.

And yes, when the barbarians are at the gates what the hell does it matter if the man on the catapult next to me is gay, straight, tall, short, black, brown, rich, or poor. There are somewhat more important things to attend to...
 

Sounds good to me, Rex. In the 80s I made very sure that people who knew about me did not think that my straight friends were not straight--there was no reason to put a burden on friendship with me. Why should they pay the price of being sniggered at?

But times, they are a-changing. I suppose at least a quarter of the men in their sixties and older instantly said, "Congratulations." Almost all women did. I keep going on about this because I learned so much about honesty and living a lie.

I learned that if you have to edit one of your most basic qualities for public acceptability that you never know if you are brave for nothing is ever done instinctively. "Is this what a normal man would do?" you ask, and that moment of ratiocination always makes you wonder about your character. And it robs you of authority too--I've noticed a tremendous difference when I walk into businesses, not that I say anything but that I could if I chose. People don't bow and scrape, but they now look to see if I'm getting what I want. What a change.

It might be just some form of xenophobia, which I am given to understand developed as a survival characteristic. But we've learned, I hope, to ignore it as far as color goes.

Frankly I think it was a good idea to elect a black person as president. If there were two candidates whose policies I liked easily I'd have voted for the black, to pay the debt of Jim Crow. That said, this black president is the last person I would have elected. And that includes Saul Alinsky, who is dead.

And as far as all this sectarian and internecine fighting between people--just stop it. I find partial-birth abortions repugnant but would not let that keep me from voting for a pro-choice candidate if the opponent had no chance of winning and the pro-choice candidate were a defense hawk. Because I know that without this country, we would have after-the-fact abortions, like the Chinese, where soldiers step on the babies' heads. The most important thing is the safety of this country because it polices the world and keeps the goblins at bay, as much as possible. If there is no Pax Americana, there will be anarchy. The Prince I'm told was welcome because at the time Italians would do anything to rid themselves of anarchy. This must not happen and it's foolish to get your knickers in a twist over something that's just not important.
 

Came up with a few ideas for a 'Prog Off' character. Wanted to throw it to the collective to see what you think.




First one, well you can't anymore moonbatty than this ( I just want to sing 'Kumabaya' just looking at it).




This one, A picture says a thousand words is all I can say.





I rather like this one in the spirit of "The Cube" itself. Possibilites?

Comrade Snoogie Woogums
 

I think the color cube is the most meaningful "prog off" icon, although some may not gasp its meaning quickly. What does the collective think?

If accepted, it should be smaller, with the words placed on the side, so as to take less vertical scrolling space. It also needs a red cube for the "prog on" switch. I may have time to tend to it tomorrow, but if you want to take a shot, go ahead.
 

S.W., I like them all, but agree with Red that they need to be smaller. There are times that I cringe at how much space my avatar takes. I do not want to be more equal than others.
 

Comrades,

{prog off}
To those who've served, congrats and thanks. I had a voluntary stint in the military, but those who were in combat--kudos to you.
{prog on}

I feel a multi-coloured square does much to further diversity but why not a Green Cube? It would address the most burning issue of our time, Man-Made Global Warming (Mm, GW!), with the hippest, most progressive, most tolerant religion around, Islam. The hammer-and-sickle wouldn’t take much to become a crescent moon atop a tree: the trifecta!
 

Dear Commissar Theocritus,

Don't sweat it Comrade. When THE WORLD OF NEXT TUESDAY^TM arrives, I am certain THE PARTY^TM will settle all matters. All enemies will be delt with.

Trust the proven methods of the last century. We will gather them up, shoot half of them, and send the rest to the train station. There will always be more.

I am sure THE PARTY^TM will approve of impaling the worst of the criminals for your pleasure. You'll have your pick.

Dear Comrade RED SQUARE,

THE PEOPLES CUBE^TM must be maintained. Only the highest PARTY members should have the PROG OFF option. Any other way would confuse the masses.

In Socialist Solidarity!
 

MftM, thank you for your reassurance that I will be able to do all the impaling that I want. When I go too long without impaling I get testy and have impure thoughts.

Hmm. Only high party officials able to do the PROG OFF? You're saying it is like giving a serf too much freedom? English country houses used to have one day a year when the servants would have a ball, and the gentry would serve them. It kept discipline better. Perhaps something like that? On May 1 lower-ranking party members could do PROG OFF?
 

I will leave it to our Glorious Party Leadership if a "PROG OFF" button and "PROG ON" button should be available to the sorry average masses such as meself.

I must admit I was rather happy that Red Square asked me, 'If I wanted to take a shot', at trying for an acceptable design for the Icons. Usually the Party doesn't ask if you want to be shot in the first place, they just go ahead and do it, so THAT courtesy was most welcomed.

My Humble Attempts at a Suitable Icon for Party Consideration, if our Glorious Leadership should feel so inclined to include for the masses.


I

I stand by with Shovel in Hand.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums
 

OH HOORAY! If Pravda says its true I always believe it!

America descends into Marxism.

By Che I love Pravda. The headlines alone are worth a pile of beets:

"Russian bakers pose naked to promote bread and buns" - well who wouldn't want to see that?
"Bikini models risk their health wearing G-strings" - there goes the neighborhood
"World's most evil fish invades Britain" - what would be the second most evil fish? Are there other evil animals?
"16 interesting facts you did not know about kissing" - I am with gladness that Pravda tells me these facts I did not know in such well English
"Vegetarianism proves to be perversion of nature" - then again, I knew that.