Beer and Bacon at Ground Zero Community Mosque on Friday

A little bird told me today that the worshipping Muslim collective of the Ground Zero community was having its weekly meeting this Friday at the Cordoba House Mosque, conveniently located next to the remains of the infidel community at Park Place 51 in Manhattan. The bird insisted it had reliable information from "insider" sources about a gathering of protesters, even though it was a day away from the big 9-11 rally. Some of them came to support everyone's human right to say Allahu akbar while ramming planes into skyscrapers, while some others came to oppose it.

So I took my camera and went to take a look.

The bird lied. That is, the protesting community was there, and so were numerous media organs. But the anticipated Muslim teach-in, sit-in, and bendover-in by the local Islamic community had been suspended by the City until next week, to avoid possible scheduling conflicts with certain out-of-town Koran-burn-in communities.

A large BBC community was there, setting up a shop right on the sidewalk. But the cops told them to scramble, and they unhappily complied. They must have been also misled by the bird, only in their case it had to be a big bird named Roc, as seen in the Sinbad movie. It's probably where the BBC takes all their information about the Middle East anyway.



Their uniformed BBC shirts said "You set the agenda," but among themselves they were overheard saying that "this whole mosque hysteria was caused by everyone's stupid ignorance." Which means that not all communities should be allowed to set the agenda, but only the most enlightened ones, like Imam Rauf and the young geniuses at the BBC.



There were also representatives of the open-minded progressive community who looked like candidates for our fall edition of the People's Dating Service. When approached by a black lady distributing pamphlets of some obscure Christian cult, he reminded her that this was New York and her proselytizing could be offensive to some. But when I pointed out that his Che shirt and Mao hat could be offensive to others, he responded that he found my remark extremely offensive and intimidating. He was a whole head taller than me, but when I stomped my foot he ran away.



Before stomping my foot I took a picture of him next to one very appropriately titled book.



This is what the hidden mosque looks like today - the former Burlington Coat Factory at Park Place 51. It has no signs and can only be identified by the presence of two cops at the entrance, who are there apparently to protect various peaceful communities from one another.



The cops tell everyone to move along - even if your name is Cindy Sheehan, the Mother-Protector of all Muslims.



They were all told to stand on the corner, where they wouldn't obstruct the traffic. What do you know - around the corner they would all meet a guy looking very much like Imam Rauf, who is now more popular than Jesus and obviously also a progressive chick magnet.



Speaking of Jesus, there was a Christian community truck passing by the entrance to the Muslim community center every five minutes, going in circles around the block.











The Christian community van was opposed by the progressive community placards.



This community member who wanted Imam Rauf's baby must also believe that W is still president.



Nevertheless, she is qualified to give interviews to the media community. She seems to be about to give birth. That was fast.



And ten minutes later she gives birth to a bespectacled cherub. The newborn has already learned to hold a sign "We say no to racist fear." Or was he born holding it? Awwww so cuuuute!



"We must change the spelling of the Koran to "Quran," or we will anger the peaceful Muslims. Also, if you're not an appeaser and don't live in fear, you're not a real American."



This air traffic controller from from Seattle flew all the way to New York in order to tell the real truth about what we saw on 9-11 with our own lying eyes.



On the opposite corner, an artist with the face of Marcello Mastroianni was painting images that strayed from the approved progressive message.



Apparently he was not a real American because he didn't want salt to be poured into a gashing wound, or the dove of peace to be poisoned by the Raufstone coolant.



This man said he represented pastor Terry Jones from Gainesville, FL. The Koran burner!



Another Terry Jones look-alike from Florida.



I liked his baseball bat with the flag. Perhaps the message on his shirt would be clearer if he moved away from the "No parking saturday" sign.



Then I walked one block south to see the progress made at the Ground Zero site. Thanks to the glorious work of the local unionized labor force and the government-run planning and approval process, the hole in the ground had filled up at an amazing speed. After only two Five-Year Plans it has reduced to only four stories deep - ahead of schedule!



Many workers at the site wore "No Mosque" stickers on their hard hats and shirts.



This black female union member doesn't want the mosque to be built a block away. She must be a racist!



In fact, I almost wish they actually agreed to build the mosque - then it would never be finished.





Next to the construction site was a halal stand whose operator was strangely missing - perhaps on the run from the islamophobic union members, or busy hiding his Koran so that the un-American Christians from Florida wouldn't burn it tomorrow.



Next door to the mosque was Dakota Roadhouse and I felt it was the right time and place to fill my stomach with some bacon and alcohol. What could be more American than a Dakota Roadhouse, right?



As I expected, there was a buffalo skull with horns inside, but next to it hung a Soviet navy banner with hammers and sickles. I didn't take a picture of it; the bartender asked me not to shoot. But I still intend to do it tomorrow during the 9-11 rally and bring you the proof. Let's leave a placeholder for it.

[ PLACEHOLDER ]

In addition, Dakota Roadhouse had some very appropriate Soviet posters.



Remember this one?



Inside the bar, my friend is reading today's New York Post spread with a very informative article by Amir Taheri, as I stare through the window at representatives of our diverse communities moving back and forth on the sidewalk. I drink my beer and chew on my BLT sandwich, enjoying the experience while I still can.



 

Ура, товарищи!

 

 

Ahh Comrade Cube!


Interesting juxtaposition of Communism and Capitalism in this picture!

Is the man in the poster saying NO to a drink (weird, this is a BAR), or NO to the commerce ticker crawl on the TV screen at the top?

Or maybe you find the parallel universe where "Das Kapital" and "Wealth of Nations" co-exist peacefully side-by-side?




 

This talk of "co-existence" is not appreciated, comrade, there is much to be done, and much that has already been done to reach The Glorious World of Next Tuesday! What you see... is merely the transition the party is willing to endure until that day arrives.

"The meaning of peace is the absence of opposition to socialism." - Karl Marx

Hail Obama!
 

Comrade RR...

I HOPE(tm) this is the case!
It must be that the man states NO to Capitalism!

I want a drink....its a BAR, for Øbama's sake!
 

Ah I am so proud to see the Puget Sound Collective represented. We breed such a delightful sub species of progs here.
 

 

Boris Badanoff

Comrade RR...

I HOPE(tm) this is the case!
It must be that the man states NO to Capitalism!

I want a drink....its a BAR, for Øbama's sake!


 

That Christian Community van reminds me of an ice cream truck. I can almost hear the calliope music playing "Jesus Loves Me" over and over as it repeatedly circles the block.
 

I can't help wondering what university the aging Marxist teaches at. He reminds me of my last trip to E. Lansing Michigan, home of Michigan State University. There were still aging hippies wandering the streets of this university town along with young neo-hippies. Some of the young ones will grow out of it. The aged balding ones with their last six strands of hair tied into a long greasy pony tale have gone from humorous to pathetic.
 

Commissarka Pinkie

That Christian Community van reminds me of an ice cream truck. I can almost hear the calliope music playing "Jesus Loves Me" over and over as it repeatedly circles the block.

Ice Cream trucks are creepy...
 

Most Equal coverage More Equaler!

Regarding the "Ice Cream" truck, funny how two small changes to the image and this truck could be driven by any random Mooslim nut.. only difference is, Jesus Freaks aren't flying airplanes into buildings or detonating bombs in crowds...

No offense, I find them both silly.




just sayin...

BTW: What 9/11 thread would be complete without Islamic Rage Boy?
 

Comrade Buffoon

Most Equal coverage More Equaler!

Regarding the "Ice Cream" truck, funny how two small changes to the image and this truck could be driven by any random Mooslim nut.. only difference is, Jesus Freaks aren't flying airplanes into buildings or detonating bombs in crowds...

No offense, I find them both silly.

Christianity is Islam.jpg

just sayin...

BTW: What 9/11 thread would be complete without Islamic Rage Boy?

What was that line about religion being the khat of the masses?
 

Some think it's the ice cream of the masses.
 

'Islamic center shouldn't be near, but inside Ground Zero site'
Controversial documentarist Michael Moore parallels plight of N.Y. Muslims with the struggles of the Jewish community in city's early years.
By Natasha Mozgovaya
Haaretz.com
Published 22:41 11.09.10 Latest update 22:41 11.09.10

The controversial Islamic center due to be built near the site of the September 11, 2001 terror attacks in New York City should be moved onto the Ground Zero site itself, documentary filmmaker Michael Moore wrote on his blog on Saturday, saying that such a move would be a way to tear Islam away from the extremists who have kidnapped it.

...Moore wrote Saturday that he believed in "an America that says to the world that we are a loving and generous people and if a bunch of murderers steal your religion from you and use it as their excuse to kill 3,000 souls, then I want to help you get your religion back."

"And I want to put it at the spot where it was stolen from you," Moore added.

....Moore said he was more offended by the existence of a nearby McDonald's than he was about an Islamic community center, saying: "Trust me, McDonald's has killed far more people than the terrorists." FULL STORY


We must stand in utter awe of Comrade Moore's brainy agitprop. If anybody asks how come Comrade Mikey looks like he has had a few too many Big Macs, he can say that was an occupational hazard of surveilling the capitalist hog troughs.



 

Red Rooster

"The meaning of peace is the absence of opposition to socialism." - Karl Marx

Indeed, and our Muslim shabab have a very similar saying:

"The meaning of peace is everyone in submission to Allah and His Prophet."

That is why they speak truthfully when they say that "Islam" (which literally translated is "submission) means "Peace" and that it is a "Religion of Peace."

Mohammed (pbuh) understood the efficient use of CurrenTruth™ , NewSpeak™ and Fear ExternalMotivation™ long before our great leaders -- Marx, Lenin, Stalin and Obama -- were merely a glimmer in their blessed parental units' eyes.

As it is written: "Verily in the messenger of Allah ye have a good example for him who looketh unto Allah and the Last Day, and remembereth Allah much." -- Quran 33:21

I understand why we Progressives enjoy our close fellowship with our shabab, we have so much in common and so much we can learn from one another.

Which brings us to a more Progressive euphamism for our dictionaries:

"The meaning of peace is the absence of opposition to socialism and all in submission to Allah and His Prophet." -- R.E.G.
 

Comrades-

Upon further thought about Comrade Moore's proposal to move the Mosque Love and Peace Community Center into the new Ground Zero New Trade Tower, I think Comrade Moore is GENIUS!

If there is a "sacred site" INSIDE a new tower, that would definitely slow down the crazed Islamic Al Queda Terrorists Man Made Destruction. Would it not?

Make EVERYTHING in the USA an Islam "Sacred Site".

Since we now know that the Qur'an is such a big deal, perhaps every public building, power plant, dam, every home, car, phone booth, traffic signal, BIBLE and US FLAG should have a Qur'an in it.

Would this not be a great way to stop the crazed Islamic Al Queda Terrorists Man Made Destruction?
 

Vladimir_Scratchanitch

Comrades-

Make EVERYTHING in the USA an Islam "Sacred Site".

Great thinking Vladimir. Yes, this works well in Israel. We of the Green Persuasion ™ have been using the Holy Designation ™ for years to stop Capitalists by designating Ecological Holy Sites ™. Native Americans, although not nearly as aggressive as Greens, have used this effectively at times.

I too have had my eye on my own Holy Site when the takeover begins.

 

Comrade Vladimir_Scratchanitch,
Does Michael Moore (Please Beat Upon Him (gently of course)) also propose that the Mosque/Community Center be placed atop the proposed ground zero structure? That would be the place most acceptable to the peaceful, misunderstood, abused Islamic community. Oh, and don't forget the minarets at the top. I'm sure both Moore and Mayor Bloomberg would approve of them.
 

Great Stalin's Ghost

Comrade Vladimir_Scratchanitch,
Does Michael Moore (Please Beat Upon Him (gently of course)) also propose that the Mosque/Community Center be placed atop the proposed ground zero structure? That would be the place most acceptable to the peaceful, misunderstood, abused Islamic community. Oh, and don't forget the minarets at the top. I'm sure both Moore and Mayor Bloomberg would approve of them.

Yes indeed, the "community center" should be on the very top floor and the minarets would serve well as lightning rods.




 

Somebody call Chabad, we need the Mitzvah Tank down there too...


 

I have glorious, progressive news for the followers of the Mighty Mo (Push Bacon Up Him)!

In order to achieve Peace, Love, Understanding, and other Elvis Costello lyrics, I have been perusing through Mo (Pork Bratwurst Upsets Him)'s Green Book of Love, Tolerance, and Tasty Animals.

And have unraveled a most pernicious plot. It seems the Groovy Book has been deliberately misinterpreted in a centuries-old capitalist scheme to enrich Halal street vendors.

Sterotypically, the peaceful practicioners of stoning and female circumcision cannot eat anything but Halal--no shellfish, no pork, and no drink stronger than Olympia Beer (motto: It's the Water). But the Koran says this:

Sura 5:5 "This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them..."

What may the People of the Book eat? From what I read from that chapter of that most imperialist of books, the New Testament, in Romans 14, it can be anything!

Rejoice, Fellow Revolutionaries of the Burning Flag and Burka! Now "Pork the One You Love" just doesn't refer to paying jizya to your wife!
 

 

DDR Kamerad

Sura 5:5 "This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them..."
Nice try Comrade Kamerad but your first mistake is trying to interpret the Koran by reading it in English. One must read the Koran in Arabic to understand its true meaning. I believe the truth lies in the blue cow (and all the colored cows) metaphor. Please note there is no mention of pigs, hogs or swine of any color in the Koran therefore pork (fried, baked, grilled or otherwise) is off the menu.

-by The People's Imam
 

ThePeoplesComrade

DDR Kamerad

Sura 5:5 "This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them..."
Nice try Comrade Kamerad but your first mistake is trying to interpret the Koran by reading it in English. One must read the Koran in Arabic to understand its true meaning. I believe the truth lies in the blue cow (and all the colored cows) metaphor. Please note there is no mention of pigs, hogs or swine of any color in the Koran therefore pork (fried, baked, grilled or otherwise) is off the menu.

-by The People's Imam
Thank you, comrade People's Imam. Does it count that I have read the Quoran in its original Klingon?