Cindy Sheehan Loves America

"Courageously she has gone to Texas near the ranch of President Bush and braved the elements and a hostile Jewish supremacist media." -- David Duke, former Louisiana Representative

"Cindy Sheehan is my hero... a brave, passionate, living example of democracy... the moral authority of a grieving mother." -- Christine Lahti, Hollywood actress

By Cindy Sheehan (edited for language by Red Square)

I love America - but not the filthy rich capitalist society it is now. That America is inherently evil, it has been killing people on this continent since it was started. As if that were not enough, it is now spreading the cancer of Pax Americana and imperialism in the Middle East. No, the America that I love is the non-polluted, sparsely populated country of five hundred years ago, with its various tribes free of capitalist exploitation, breaking each other's skulls with stone axes, shitting in the woods and getting eaten by wild animals.

We want our country back!

To revert to that idyllic state we must work together on dismantling this America and letting nature take its course. But we can't pursue our noble cause while that maniacal Bush is standing in the way of progress. He's taking away our freedom to destroy this country. Bush must go! And if we have to jail everybody from George W. Bush down to the person who picks up dog shit in Washington, we will jail all those people. Progress needs sacrifice. It's worth dying for. And then we will destroy the war machine that builds bombs, guns, and bullets and everything, so we will never have to fight again and will never be afraid of anybody.

When I was growing up, I was hoping that America would be destroyed by the communists. That never happened (thank you very much, Reagan you bastard!) Now it's the terrorists' chance; they fill me with hope again. The democratic elections didn't get Bush out, cuz freedom and democracy are bullshit! Now it's up to the terrorists. But how can they help us defeat America if our troops are fighting them in the Middle East? That's why we want all American troops to get out of Iraq.

I don't care if this results in thousands of Iraqi families being slaughtered by the Jihadists. They shouldn't have believed Bush's lies about freedom and democracy, cuz it's bullshit. Nobody in the world wants freedom and democracy. It's a big American lie.

The ensuing bloodbath should be a good lesson to everybody who still believes in America! The Jihadists will only be killing collaborators, so I'm not worried. It's their own fault. Instead of waving US flags they should've been stabbing Americans in the back, like those true Iraqi patriots who killed my son Casey. But I'm not angry with them cuz they are killing their own children too - like they did with those 24 candy hogs that were swarming around US troops. These children were collaborators, just like my son Casey, who instead of destroying America joined the Army to implement the neo-con PNAC agenda.

And to all those Iraqi kids still alive and preparing to go to school I would like to say this: stop raining on my parade! Cuz, you're not freer. Can a terrorist strap himself with explosives and walk into a US base without fear of getting killed? No. And if the terrorists aren't free it means nobody is free. The Iraqi mass-grave diggers are much worse off than before we meddled in that country. And here's a short message to Abu Musab al-Zarqawi whom I never met but always admired from a distance: Keep up the good work!

I firmly believe that only the Baathists and the foreign terrorists have the right to speak for the Iraqi people - not the millions of stupid idiots who voted while risking their lives to get a taste of democracy. Cuz democracy is bullshit. I hope the true Iraqi patriots will trace them all one by one, and cut all those ink-stained fingers off - just like in the good old days of Saddam when everyone was freer and happier, united by their hatred of imperialist America. I shared that sentiment back in the days when I carried the sign "US out of everywhere!"

And when we succeed and America finally pulls out of everywhere, and the Jihadists will have the Middle East all to themselves, they'll force Israel to pull out of Palestine as well. At that point, the Jihadists will only be killing Jews, so I'm not worried. The world will be better off without those troublemakers. And when the Jihadists come to America we, the progressives, will be waiting for them with funds, tenures, and ACLU lawsuits against the US government.

So I feel I am doing important work here stalking our president. If I leave now it would send a terrible message to the terrorists. Here's what I want to tell Bush as a mother: You don't have my permission to defend 300 million Americans from death, torture, and mutilation!

My opponents might say I'm just some crazy hag ranting in a ditch - but look at these major media networks lining up to interview me! That means they'd all love to be able to say what I'm saying - they're just afraid that if they do so openly, stupid Americans will stop buying their papers and will tune off their networks. So the media elites use me as a proxy to hammer a progressive message into their murky skulls. Cuz unlike them I am immune to criticism. As Maureen Dowd of the New York Times writes, I have an absolute moral authority.

Observe the roll of politicians who support me: former presidential candidates Dennis Kucinich and John Kerry, Senator Ted Kennedy and John Edwards' wife Elizabeth, also Senator Barbara Boxer and Congresswoman Maxine Waters, Congressman John Conyers, and my favorite,David Duke. And there would be many more if Bush hadn't taken away our freedoms.

But with Bush gone, we will all create a great multicultural society where Whites, Blacks, Asians, Latinos, and Arabs will join together and go hand-in-hand to beat up the Jew. That will mark the end of oppressive, conservative America. We will be free at last - to destroy the war machine, burn down the cities, and start shitting in the woods and getting eaten by wild animals. Now, that will be an America worth dying for.


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PostScript

To those readers who might think that this portrayal of Cindy Sheehan's views is unfair, crude, and over the top - you should hear real Cindy Sheehan speak. What you find crude in this story are mostly her own words and ideas (see below). It's hardly even a parody - rather, it's a compilation of Mrs. Sheehan's original quotes with some additional filling to connect the dots. So if her own words got returned back to her mouth and they look like bullshit to you - don't blame me for it.


Some of the sources the quotes came from:



 

I think the Democrats have found their 2008 presidential candidate! This woman can't miss. She has martyr status and absolute moral authority and will end the war with honor. Look out Hillary. Cindy for President!

She can - Sheehan 2008!
 

Absolutely.  But as soon as conservatives wake up and realize that 'Lyndon Baines' Bush has pulled the old 'bait and switch' on them, leaving his 'disarming Saddam for the security of America' argument for a 'savages need to be free' one, things very well may change.  His popularity is already reaching record low levels.  

Americans are realizing that Iraqi self-rule is a farce, it isn't happening, and it won't happen.  And even if it did happen, there isn't a single American interest that would be served by it.  How many Americans wonder why our soldiers are dying for 'Iraqi freedom' and not for 'American security?'  The number is growing.

It is likely that in response, Bush will set a convenient winning scenario, which will then take place, and the troops will be brought home.  

What then will Cindy Sheehan have to say?

-Alger
 

http://www.defendthewhitehouse.org/info.html
 

I am worried. Troubled and worried.

By not meeting with Ms. Sheehan, Bush will also allow the moral validity of our times to rest on the careful balance of international portrayals of policy directed from a perspective not only from without but from a centered and watchful awareness of prescriptions and remedies not without some experimentation but always towards the goal of coalition guidance and the sort of humanity that comes at a price of a diminution but moreover and therefore notwithstanding where I started.

I have to use the bathroom now.
 

Cindy stands with the PEOPLE...

That's right, all 20% of them...

Along side with the Brothers and Sisters of ANSWER, MOORE, MOVEON, SHEEHAN, FRANKEN, Garafalo, CONYERS, MCKINNEY!

The same who demonstrated for the release of Lynne Stewart, who aided Comrade 'Blind Sheik' in NYC, against those Imperialist pigs...

Cindy is right, Omar Abdel-Rahman, is the defender of the COMMON!

What an outrage to have him sentenced to life in prison in 1996 for conspiring to assassinate Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, organizing the bombing of the WTC in 1993, and planning to destroy the Lincoln and Holland Tunnels...

Cindy speaks the liberal truth...  The 'Blind Sheik' was only objecting to President Bush's OIL FOR WAR that began in 2002!

Cindy was there, rightfully defending Comrade Stewart from those Capitalist Puppets!

Fidel would be so proud...

We must stop the amazing opportunity, high quality of life, unheard of freedoms, the USA represents!

Cindy knows, Women in the Arab Region, want to be considered property!
 

I want the U.S. to become an Islamic Republic, just so that horrific pig Sheehan will have to wear a burka!  Talk about a two-burka face!

When she talks, all I hear is "woof woof woof woof."  Am I crazy or do you hear it too?

There was one thing about her protest that was right -- she really belongs in a ditch.  I bet her ancestors lived underground.

Poor Casey.  He is the one I really feel sorry for.  I'm surprised she hasn't dug him up and plopped him at the front of Bush's ranch.

That husband of hers deserves an iron cross and an honorable discharge from his marriage to that monster.
 

Someone wanted a detailed description of Cindy but in Spanish:  !MUY LOCA!
 

Last time I saw a mouth like hers, it had a hook in it.  Am I the only one who noticed that every full- bodyshot of this lunatic actually showed her hard-nippled  exsuberance?  Hey bitch, next time you're on t.v. you might want to have your teeth cleaned.  There are still lots of places on this planet where you can go and shit in the woods and be eaten by wild animals, take your pick.
 

Well, if there is an afterlife, then there may be some justice.  Because all of you sick, hateful "people" will burn in hell for eternity.
 

She's a cutie!  And all that talk of anarchy get's me so hot!
 

We support Cindy.

All imperialist liar capitalist facists to the fields!

There we will celebrate rainbow like cultural diversity
and tolerance with the progressive color red.
 

To facilitate Cindy Sheehad's plan for utopia,
Communications between cooperative, productive,
like-minded, citizens is to be forbidden.
Only progressives revolutionaries will be tolerated and allowed access to the media.
By direction,
J. G. MainZamPolit Directorate
 

I will take a quick break from toking on my ideological crack-pipe to express my love for Cindy's march through the institution of stupidity.
 

Uffi: I will turn you into a frog next time we meet for boom-boom at my dacha.
 

All of you will Burn in Hell Burn in Hell RAAAAAAARGH I LOVE CINDY RAARGH DEAN FOR PRESIDENT RAAAAARRRRRRRRGH
 

Hold the presses!  I have discovered that Cindy Sheehan is actually Cindy She-man!  A peenie beneath those capri slacks lurks!  All beware, she is really Turban Dick Durbin in drag!
 

As I have said before, Cindy and I stand in solidarity for all the suffering Jihadis at Gitmo.
And never forget! Ronald tells lies while McDonald's sells fries!
What? I'm done?
Can I have have 30 seconds more of air-time?
Ok. I'll let others jump on the luneycart bandwagon.
Who's Next?
 

Oh My God Squared!

Hold the presses!  I have discovered that Cindy Sheehan is actually Cindy She-man!  A peenie beneath those capri slacks lurks!  All beware, she is really Turban Dick Durbin in drag!

I always suspected that.
 

How can you argue with a woman that has the ringing endorsement of such a great American as David Duke?

WKGB: We're Watching You!
 

Wow man! Far out! <pffftt><cough><cough>
Cindy is going to be in D.C. September 24th to help us levitate the White House! <pffftt><cough><cough>
I heard she's gonna let Kerry throw Casey's medals at the White House man! <pffftt><cough><cough>
This is just like the good old days!
If Bush wasn't so evil, we should thank him for giving purpose to our lives again. Just a thought....<pffftt><cough><cough>
Here, try this man, Laika got it for the march on the 24th.

M&M
 

Here's Cindy!

http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig6/sheehan5.html

Quote:

Pulling No Punches

by Cindy Sheehan

Is there anyone in America who cannot yet see that Donald Rumsfeld is a liar...that he, as with Hitler and Stalin....will say anything so long as he thinks it will help shape the world to his own liking? Is there even one, sane adult among us who cannot see that Donald Rumsfeld is a threat to our nation’s security and to peace on our beloved earth?

Paul Wolfowitz, after months of not finding any Weapons of Mass Destruction....and after hundreds of US soldiers were killed....my son amongst them....and after tens of thousands of innocent Iraq citizens were killed....this same Paul Wolfowitz casually explained....with his kindly charade and his ever so soft voice...that a decision was made to put forth “Weapons of Mass Destruction” as the need for the invasion. Essentially, Paul Wolfowitz admitted that he and his fellow conspirators had decided amongst themselves “...let’s just go with the bit about Weapons of Mass Destruction. It’s the one thing that will scare the American people enough so as to cause them to get behind this invasion.”

As soft-spoken and sincere-sounding as Paul Wolfowitz is, is there yet any sane adult in this country whose skin does not crawl when this murderous liar opens his mouth and speaks? Am I the only person in this room who clearly sees that Paul Wolfowitz is a threat to our nation’s security...and to peace on our beloved earth?" ...

Our country has been overtaken by murderous thugs....gangsters who lust after fortunes and power; never caring that their addictions are at the expense of our loved ones, and the blood of innocent people near and far. We’ve watched these thugs parade themselves before the whole world as if they are courageous advocates for Christian moral values....and for the spread of democracy. Yet we all know that they are now putting in place, all across this country, a system of voting that provides no way to validate the accuracy of the counting of the votes. Our loved ones have been buried in early graves even as these arrogant thugs parade themselves before the entire world, insisting that democracy is worth dying for, killing for, and destroying entire cities for, all the while they are busy here at home overseeing the emplacement of an electronic voting system that invites fraud at every turn, an electronic vote-counting system that provides no way to validate the votes cast, and that, by it’s very design, prohibits recounting the votes.

For these men to not see to it that our own system of voting and vote-counting is accurate, understandable and verifiable...all the while sending our loved ones to kill and to die so as to establish a democracy in some far away place......this is just one more staggering piece of evidence that the US government is now ruled by murderous hypocrites...criminals who should be arrested, charged appropriately, confined behind bars, and then tried in a court of law...not only here in our own country, but also in all the other countries which have suffered their incomprehensible greed.

In their secret hiding places, while celebrating newly won fortunes with their fellow brass, these men must surely congratulate themselves with orgies of carnal pleasure as they mock the multitudes who are yet so blind as to mistake them for God’s devoted servants.

Not TOO sick!
 

Thanks for re-posting my "Cindy" column above.

As you know, my site is "anti-war, anti-state, and pro-market", which is why we publish anything under the sun that supports America's enemies and especially anything that is anti-Semitic. And as an anti-state kind o' guy, I can't wait until we're all living in the Great Caliphate. Or at a minimum, I can't wait until we're all living in the sort of totalitarian state that Mother Cindy and her ilk are shooting for.
 

Why is everyone so eager to dog this woman?? She is such a useful stooge for the Next Great Patriotic Election to defeat the Capitalist pigs!!

Down with the USA
Down with freedom
Down with individualism
Up yours!
 

What the hell did I do to deserve this??  So my hands stink at the end of the day, its a frackin' living!
 

I've heard Cindy Hoo being described as a sock puppet for those that hate America.  I thought that was so funny lollll  She looks like a sock puppet hehehe
 

Who can get enough of Cindy? For all of you that still can't get enough here's more proof that Cindy should be the next Democrat party candidate for president. What an intellectual giant! As you can see from this short quicktime movie the woman is saying things that no one before her has had the guts to say! Bush lied! Kids died! Meet with me so I can spit in your face! What an original! Fantabulistic!

http://www.meetwithcindy.org/cindy_sheehan_081805.mov
 

You are all lying liars!  I would explain why, but it is so obvious I don't need to.  And Cindy is beyond reproach.  I have never seen a woman who feels so deeply.  Her arguments drip with emotion and passion.  All you right-wingers want to do is scream and yell at the top of your lungs about "reason" and "logic."  Well, your precious reason and logic wont bring back Casey.  We all know that Casey was duped.  All you conservatives love to say he enlisted on his own, re-enlisted on his own and wanted to do what he did, but we know different.  That is impossible -- we can feel what Casey thought.

Go to blazes all you lying liars!
 

Comerades. Vonce again ve see zhe rage against zhe Vestern Zionists. But I must ask, how much longer must ve keep up vith zis War-Vor- Oil lie? Ve all know ze Vestern oppressors are really trying to make sure zhe .U.S. aid money is stolen zhe evil anti- Communist people and not to zhe Enlightened Proleriat Facist Dictators, and to drive out and eviserate ruthlessly innocent resistors against zhe Kapitalists. I realize zhat zhe War-Vor-Oil is a propaganda piece to turn zhe oppressed free against zhe Bushes, but how long must vhe vait? After all zhe sooner vhe tell zhe sooner vhe van stop zhe efforts of zhe racist zionists and revert Afrika to a proud continent divided between zhe proud and equilazing Kommunist Party and zhe tolerant Nazi Nation.

Sincirly Reichfuher SS Hit H. Ead

.P.S. Vhat parts of Afrika vould you like us to liberate and vhat parts of Afrika vould you like to liberate yourself?
 

BREAKING NEWS

Ghost of Senator Paul Wellstone Appears Above Sheehan Supporters

http://whygrr.blogspot.com/2005/08/ghos ... stone.html


 

Har har, you'ns have the second funniest parady I've ever seen. Imagine a country so decadent a shrill nutcase can stand in the ditch day after day and demand an audience with the Great Helmsman and not get shot. DOwn with the USA. Here is an even funnier parody:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cindy-she ... _6121.html
 

As evidenced by Red Bubba's inabillity to recognize parody when he/she/she-he/it sees it, it has become all the more evidant that we must excellerate the revolution now more than ever!

Clearly this poor pathetic country peasant is a VICTIM, yes, VICTIM, of our woefully underfunded public education system.

The good news is: ALL IS NOT LOST!

This future piece of fodder, er, revolutionary vanguard, clearly can identify, digest, and unquestioningly follow agit-prop when he/she/she-he/it sees it!

Comrades, we have won one more heart(and possibly a mind)!

Victory shall be ours! Long Live the Glorious Struggle!


WKGB: We're Watching You!
 

Komrades,

I will be out of pocket today traveling to Camp Casey to join the struggle.  

FYI - It has been reported by my advance team that the Dave Mathews band plans to dump 1 ton of human excrement upon the assembled throng tonight at 7:00 PM.  It's a performance piece designed to demonstrate what Bush has been doing to us for years.

I only hope my fart-powered Prius can get me there in time.  More reports later!

Peace through surveillance,

bohemianlikeyou
 

I'm going down to CAMP CASEY today and...what? NO MORE CAMP CASEY??? crap! there goes my weeks vacation. Where are me and the family going to go?
Kids are so cute,they made little Cindy Sheehan cut out dolls...they look like pineapples...they are so talented. Oh look,now they are putting them on the bar b que pit! lil darlings..they said they want thier "dolls" to look all wrinkly like mrs...oops sorry MS.sheehan....how cute
 

um excuse me..all this putting down and making fun of the greatest american that ever lived is so gross. I mean,yea.so she (cindy sheehan) is still grieving and mourning BUT she is making a ton of money and my dear friend mic..I mean..that kind hearted edumacted man,dear sweet MICHAEL MOORE (whom I bet cindy wouldnt mind a roll in the hay with that hunk of male testosterone mmmmm) is opne her side as well.
Yea yea yea we all know about what the hurricane...ummm... doris?anyway it doesnt matter cause MY...I mean..CINDys plight is much more important! Dont you see! If the cameras are off of me...cindy..then my cause and /or money will cease and we cant have that.
Although CINDY and George did a lip lock (I heard it was quite good seeing that I..Cindy had'nt had any from MR SHEEHAN in a while) that was before her friends told her she could make bundles of money..dinero....ummm for her cause of course!
And then Joan Beaz or whatever came to our camp with one of her personalities and sang...although cindy was really tired and was falling asleep thru whoever Joan was suppose to be at that time...she really enjoyed it.
So to all you "AMERICA LOVERS" out there....
GO FLY A !(&@%^#$^^(&@*()@_)#&^#(  o  )(  o  ) KiKE! I mean Kite!!
 

Comrades!

ABC reports that "Cindy Sheehan Brings Anti-War, Anti-Obama Message to Martha's Vineyard" on August 27, 2009 1:32 PM.

- http://tinyurl.com/lzut63

We must now denounce Cindy Sheehan!
 

Um, does this mean that Unperson C.S. will be accusing That One of murdering her son now? And will the media reports be filled with how she is now a racist, since she is "anti-Obama"?
 

It looks like the media is just ignoring her. I guess we don't have to do anything since what she did never happened.