Comrade_Tovarich wrote:
Comrade Castrate,

Will the subscription be free, like the one to Granma and Pravda (PBUI)? If so, sign me up!

Almost free Comrade ... once the Crap and Trade Bill passes we will charge a reasonable Carbon Credit fee.

Gentle Comrades, I believe that I have a solution. People may ring the changes in their names: Bill Clinton, William Clinton, William J. Clinton, William Jefferson Clinton, W. J. Clinton and W. Jefferson Clinton to name just six, and it takes an affidavit of identity to establish that they are one and the same. Monica could sign it of course although I'm not sure that Our Many Titted Empress could.

Why not do the same with social-security numbers? Now this is not an exact analogy but why not run the permutations on a social-security number? P(9,9) = 9! = 362,880, which would be enough to win Al Frankenstein Monster not only Minnesota, sorry, Minne<b>SO</b>ta, but one or possibly both of the Dakotas too.

TOTUS TOTUS TOTUSALL HAIL TOTUS

Comrades! Let us be wary that the wily Rethuglicans do not introduce a virus into TOTUS, the way that they do into Diebold voting machines, when we don't get the result that we want and we cannot manage to count it enough times to get the result that we want.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Comrades! Let us be wary that the wily Rethuglicans do not introduce a virus into TOTUS, the way that they do into Diebold voting machines, when we don't get the result that we want and we cannot manage to count it enough times to get the result that we want.

Chad told you this didn't he?

Chad? CHAD?! I do <i>not</i> consort with porn stars!




That must be the most popular name for gay porn stars. Uh. Someone told me that.

Guardian of Pravda wrote:I believe George Romero is recruiting new voters even now.

The irony here being that the zombies in Romero's work are all meant to symbolize consumers caught in the disease of capitalism, this political commentary being most obvious in 'Dawn.'

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Chad? CHAD?! I do <i>not</i> consort with porn stars!




That must be the most popular name for gay porn stars. Uh. Someone told me that.

Well he does hang around Florida predominantly.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Chad? CHAD?! I do <i>not</i> consort with porn stars!




That must be the most popular name for gay porn stars. Uh. Someone told me that.

They recommend that you punch your Chad all the way through. I guess that's where practice with impaling things can come in handy...

Dr. Strangelove wrote:

Guardian of Pravda wrote:I believe George Romero is recruiting new voters even now.

The irony here being that the zombies in Romero's work are all meant to symbolize consumers caught in the disease of capitalism, this political commentary being most obvious in 'Dawn.'

GR is thought to be 'Deep'.

Dr. Strangelove wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Chad? CHAD?! I do <i>not</i> consort with porn stars!




That must be the most popular name for gay porn stars. Uh. Someone told me that.

They recommend that you punch your Chad all the way through. I guess that's where practice with impaling things can come in handy...

Indeed. Never leave Chad hanging in public.

Dr. Strangelove wrote:I guess that's where practice with impaling things can come in handy...

In fact it was Red Square who gave me the soubriquet of Vlad the Impaler.

That's why the impaling, er, spears, that's right the impaling spears at the Rancho de Rio Grande are all downwind, to cut down on the squealing.

Guardian of Pravda wrote:

Dr. Strangelove wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Chad? CHAD?! I do <i>not</i> consort with porn stars!




That must be the most popular name for gay porn stars. Uh. Someone told me that.

They recommend that you punch your Chad all the way through. I guess that's where practice with impaling things can come in handy...

Indeed. Never leave Chad hanging in public.

Though perhaps you could leave him dangling (his modifiers at least)

Say, anyone following the special olympics gate?
I found this fun little top ten list (the bumping of head on helicopter is particularly tasty)
Top 10 gaffes of ObamaBiden
wouldn't the Hillarybutton be included in this? I think the list ought to be adopted by the Cube and expanded to include the whole parcel of rogues in the administration

Rex wrote:Though perhaps you could leave him dangling (his modifiers at least

A perfect description of Bruno's cojones. Modifiers, not determinatives, that is.

Dr. Strangelove wrote:

Guardian of Pravda wrote:I believe George Romero is recruiting new voters even now.

The irony here being that the zombies in Romero's work are all meant to symbolize consumers caught in the disease of capitalism, this political commentary being most obvious in 'Dawn.'

From Reason magazine, "We the Living Dead: the politics of zombie cinema." It certainly argues the Doctor's and Guardian's statements about Mr. Romero and names three academic tomes on zombie movies. Considering I probably saw every zombie movie produced while between the ages of 12 and 15 (with license comes parking and nobody cares about zombies then), I should make a career change. Where is the nearest Department of Undead Studies?

Regarding the Reason zombie/DNC article, there's this bit for a movie I can't recall seeing:

It's vain to argue that zombie politics don't lean left, but the positioning is not simple. Bob Clark's 1970 film Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, for example, is something of a reactionary fantasy, with the undead attacking the most irritating band of flower children in movie history—possibly the exact moment America turned decisively against hippies.

Guardian of Pravda wrote:That merits deep thought. I shall ponder it while eating Oatmeal.
<section edited to conserve Gaia's electrons>
I would weigh to the side of the Dead are more valuable.
But then if this was a strictly rhetorical or even Philosophical question not requiring respone. Please fee free to ignore all the above.
I believe George Romero is recruiting new voters even now.

Comrade Guardian of the Pravda,
Your parents gave you an astoundingly prescient name. Thank you for the clarity.

Regarding oatmeal, ours largely comes from Australia. At the risk of heresy, I might say at certain climes it has production benefits exceeding the marvelous beet. Beets with milk and raisins also don't work out too well.

Guardian of Pravda wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Chad? CHAD?! I do <i>not</i> consort with porn stars!

That must be the most popular name for gay porn stars. Uh. Someone told me that.

Well he does hang around Florida predominantly.

I do not live in AmeriKKKa, but can this be whittled down to more politically-specific units--to enhance awareness, sensitivity, activism, and ACORN registration--such as Key West?

Guardian of Pravda wrote:[
Even the 'Godfather of Soul' can vote.
I would weigh to the side of the Dead are more valuable.
I believe George Romero is recruiting new voters even now.

Coming soon to a theater near you!

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:

Guardian of Pravda wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Chad? CHAD?! I do <i>not</i> consort with porn stars!

That must be the most popular name for gay porn stars. Uh. Someone told me that.

Well he does hang around Florida predominantly.

I do not live in AmeriKKKa, but can this be whittled down to more politically-specific units--to enhance awareness, sensitivity, activism, and ACORN registration--such as Key West?

Mostly Broward County and Miami. A lot of little Chads all over the place in both spots. Chad was, if nothing else, proliferate.

Infidel Castrate wrote:

Guardian of Pravda wrote:[
Even the 'Godfather of Soul' can vote.
I would weigh to the side of the Dead are more valuable.
I believe George Romero is recruiting new voters even now.

Coming soon to a theater near you!

Will there be the Peoples Popcorn there? Dried Beets soaked in Vodka.
This looks to be a thriller. The Voters are lining up Casket by Casket to declare their love for the one by casting their votes with their putrefied and embalmed hands and hearts. Such love as no one else except 'The One' has, or can hope, to experience. Truly he can make the Dead Rise. Look at his VP and other picks for various office. Already in the first stages of decomp as they are all brain dead. Others, like Dodd, are dying in Office yet still providing undying love and support.
Can there be any finer sacrifice than to give your all for your leader? Make that give all you have to your Leader.

Guardian of Pravda wrote:
Will there be the Peoples Popcorn there? Dried Beets soaked in Vodka.
This looks to be a thriller. The Voters are lining up Casket by Casket to declare their love for the one by casting their votes with their putrefied and embalmed hands and hearts. Such love as no one else except 'The One' has, or can hope, to experience. Truly he can make the Dead Rise. Look at his VP and other picks for various office. Already in the first stages of decomp as they are all brain dead. Others, like Dodd, are dying in Office yet still providing undying love and support.
Can there be any finer sacrifice than to give your all for your leader? Make that give all you have to your Leader.

Yes, of course they will serve up Peoples Popcorn in the Peoples Concession Stand. They will also serve Tender Juicy Obama Fingers, Obama Nuts, Barney Franks, and those yummy Chocolate Covered Caramels, Bilk Dodds.

Least we not forget our Children's Prosperity Looter Secretary of the Treasury ...
Timothy Heistner. Seems he is also dying in office. The Messiah (praise be to the "One") will soon raise him from the dead too.

Infidel Castrate wrote:

Guardian of Pravda wrote:
Will there be the Peoples Popcorn there? Dried Beets soaked in Vodka.
This looks to be a thriller. The Voters are lining up Casket by Casket to declare their love for the one by casting their votes with their putrefied and embalmed hands and hearts. Such love as no one else except 'The One' has, or can hope, to experience. Truly he can make the Dead Rise. Look at his VP and other picks for various office. Already in the first stages of decomp as they are all brain dead. Others, like Dodd, are dying in Office yet still providing undying love and support.
Can there be any finer sacrifice than to give your all for your leader? Make that give all you have to your Leader.

Yes, of course they will serve up Peoples Popcorn in the Peoples Concession Stand. They will also serve Tender Juicy Obama Fingers, Obama Nuts, Barney Franks, and those yummy Chocolate Covered Caramels, Bilk Dodds.

Least we not forget our Children's Prosperity Looter Secretary of the Treasury ...
Timothy Heistner. Seems he is also dying in office. The Messiah (praise be to the "One") will soon raise him from the dead too.

One would think that with all this raising he would have little time for himself, yet he manages to find that time and to go Bowling in order to practice for the Special Olympics.
I am not sure I understood exactly what his disability is but I know he will overcome it somehow. Could it be related to his inability to think logically? I am not sure if he can qualify for the SO based on that as it is a common malady in the Liberal Circle.
However he is 'The One' so if he wants to be in the Special Olympics then I am sure he can qualify.

Good News Comrades!

I got another freebie that I'm entitled to from Uncle Obama.

It's easy all of you have to do is request this stuff and they send it to you.
From now on I'm eating stimulatingly healthy all over.

My favorite zombie flick is Dead Alive (AKA: Braindead (New Zealand title)). It's anti-Hollywood establishment Peter Jackson's second film, which he made after Bad Taste. I highly recommend both films. They are very funny, but mostly in the disgusting sort of way. Jackson included an Easter egg from Dead Alive in King Kong when he included a crate labeled "Sumatran Rat Monkey" in the cargo hold of the ship. I think I was the only one in the theater who burst out laughing. Yeah, awkward moment...
<br>The Return of the Living Dead, the unofficial sequel to Romero's 'Night,' is rather amusing as well.

Singaya!

Strange, somehow I seem to feel Romero had it right. Look at all the Zombies in Congress and the White house.
Where did I put my shovel?

Hmmmm. Check the opening Credits.

Pravda, what do you think about settling Obama water from a shrine, as in Lourdes? Penitents could come from all over the nation, or even world, considering that the Germans to a man want to Monica him, er, Him. And like the pilgrims to the shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City, they will finish their journey on their knees.

On payment of a suitable fee, say 1/4 of their estates, they will be given a designer bottle of O'ly Water, which will make them live forever, and have the sex drive of a mating bull, and live forever, at least as far as voting goes.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pravda, what do you think about settling Obama water from a shrine, as in Lourdes? Penitents could come from all over the nation, or even world, considering that the Germans to a man want to Monica him, er, Him. And like the pilgrims to the shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City, they will finish their journey on their knees.

On payment of a suitable fee, say 1/4 of their estates, they will be given a designer bottle of O'ly Water, which will make them live forever, and have the sex drive of a mating bull, and live forever, at least as far as voting goes.

The Shrine should be appropriate think ye not? It should exemplify his level of worthiness. It should be the epitome of his beliefs. It should reflect all of his beliefs. Somewhat austere but still exemplifying the dignity of his position.

Mayhap this will do. Sufficient tile exist to make groveling a semi pleasure and would allow one to slide across the floor to pay homage.
The water would of course be recycled in keeping with 'The Ones' commitment to the environment.
As to the Fief and all fees thereof since all is his it is only fitting that each penitent bring 1/4 of that which they possess and then be taxed heavily for the remaining 3/4. Of course having the water would more than address this loss of revenue and possession.
All would be good and there would be much movement.

Pravda, I do like your idea. And there is another concession for making money. We could have Monica sell kneepads to ease the, er, cough, trajectory across the floor and the obeisances.

And we could also sell Obama's Tasty Crème! But OTC wouldn't be OTC. You'd get a tube of it with every thousand dollars that you pay in income tax.

This is the opposite of BOSO, which is spread equally among all people, world-, nay, galaxy-wide. It is also used at the Mustang Ranch and on the sets of certain studios in West Hollywood instead of J-Lube. Since the introduction of BOSO I'm told that Doc Johnson has started a new line of Xtreme Latex in sizes which require the purchaser to turn himself or herself--and it doesn't matter--inside out.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pravda, I do like your idea. And there is another concession for making money. We could have Monica sell kneepads to ease the, er, cough, trajectory across the floor and the obeisances.

And we could also sell Obama's Tasty Crème! But OTC wouldn't be OTC. You'd get a tube of it with every thousand dollars that you pay in income tax.

This is the opposite of BOSO, which is spread equally among all people, world-, nay, galaxy-wide. It is also used at the Mustang Ranch and on the sets of certain studios in West Hollywood instead of J-Lube. Since the introduction of BOSO I'm told that Doc Johnson has started a new line of Xtreme Latex in sizes which require the purchaser to turn himself or herself--and it doesn't matter--inside out.

No Cigars though she apparently does not know how to light them only insert them.
Those who, appropriately, grovel at the 'Lap' of Luxury certainly deserve Le Crème, and the soaking they would receive for purchasing it.
The BOSO goes to the guts of the matter eh?
If inside is out then is it not the outside?
Can the one do this? Turn one inside out and make them outside in?
Truly he has the Power. This then should be his Trademark Miracle the one that get's him canonized. Or is it too late has he already achieved that position?

Guardian of Pravda wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote: And we could also sell Obama's Tasty Crème!

Those who, appropriately, grovel at the 'Lap' of Luxury certainly deserve Le Crème, and the soaking they would receive for purchasing it.

Gentlemen, if I might quote a worthy source in Lemuel Gulliver, who, knowing his way around the world, has this to say about the mannerisms which could be used to crawl across the tiles:

Pravda wrote:If inside is out then is it not the outside?

We are entering into the era of the Moebius Citizen. He will be physical reflection of Obamanomics, where spending trillions will make trillions.

Also a physical reflection of ACORN, where democracy is assured through voter fraud. In both of these cited cases it avoids the charge of hypocrisy to have the outside turn seamlessly into the inside.

As far as canonization goes, I think that we truly have entered into a realm of separate but equal. To canonize Obama would be to put him into a hierarchy which would require uncomfortable jostling with the Angel Michael, or perhaps Mikael--we shall see come the Clap of Doom. But if His O'liness were the center of the galaxy, in effect the supermassive black hole that we have just found at the center of <i>our</i> our galaxy, then he would be <i>primus inter pares</i>. The galaxy would orbit around him, and anything that came close to the event horizon, such as wealth and straight talk, would be sucked into the void, never to be seen again.

But in defiance of Hawking, information <i>would</i> be destroyed and since the advent of His O'liness, all the physical laws of the universe have been rewritten.

Just ask <i>The New York Times</i>. If they're still publishing today.

Rex wrote:IckplingGloffthrobb Squutserumm blhiop Mlashnalt Zwin tnodbalkguffhSlhiophad Gurdlubh Asht

Thank you, Rex, for that Brobdignagian mouthful. When I give my housewarming party (when renovations are completed next month, two years after purchase), I shall have that printed on cocktail napkins which I shall hand to guests with glasses of BOSO and canapes of Obama's Tasty Crème. For this will be the party that the people of Culo de Pecos will talk about forever.

Dear Red,
I thoroughly enjoyed your Frumien world view. I do believe you captured the very essence of "Conservative" elitism.

Thank you, Comrade. I had completely forgotten about this piece, and now I enjoyed reading it myself. And as I did, I was chuckling, nodding, and thinking "I wish I had written that!"