Kerry Exposes US Spy, Gets People's Hero Medal Award

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Senator John Kerry, who after losing the 2004 election was purged and declared "non-person" by (CFK), a powerful pressure group that acts as a shadow Politburo behind the DNC, may now be forgiven and allowed to resume his revolutionary duties for his successful exposure of a CIA spy yesterday.

At a hearing to discuss the nomination of John Bolton as US ambassador to the United Nations, politicians discussed a dispute over Bolton's treatment of an intelligence analyst, referred to as "Mr Smith." But when Kerry read from a transcript of closed door interviews he gave out the name of Fulton Armstrong that had not previously come up.

"The Party sees everything," said an unnamed CFK source. "The revolutionary discipline calls for the use of ‘sticks and carrots' or as we refer to them ‘medals and purges.' And when Kerry saw the opportunity to expose a CIA spy and heroically jumped at it with total disregard for his reputation, we say he deserves a medal. This one is not going to be thrown away like the others!" the source added with a cheerless smile.

"We vehemently deny the scurrilous rumors that after losing the election to imperialist Bush we packed Comrade Kerry in a box car to the Outer Siberia and that we replaced him with a cardboard cutout in the Senate. There has never been a mixup at the railroad station as Comrade Kerry was impossible to tell apart from his cutout. What a ridiculous charge! We don't waste people's money on packing box cars with cardboard cutouts! This is a big imperialist lie! Besides, the guilty have already been punished. Discipline is discipline."

"There remains a matter of John Kerry T-Shirts that we sell to raise funds for the Revolution," continued the CFK source. "We still stand by those. The message still hasn't lost its clout - Who Is John Kerry, really?"

This is not the first medal Kerry receives from the

Politburo. The first medal he got was for heroic achievements in space exploration for the good of the oppressed workers and minorities. This title and medal are given to those who selflessly kill themselves with work for little or no pay.

When speaking previously of the notorious Valerie Plume affair, when the Bush administration allegedly blew the cover of a CIA analyst who had appeared with her heroic husband, former ambassador Joe Wilson, on the cover of Spy vs. Spy magazine, Kerry stated that those who expose CIA spies are traitors of American interests (meaning "True Heroes of the People.")

Holy sh**te!

Did you guys see the new Time?

They have Ann Coulter on the cover, and they have a pic of you guys and some protest warriors with a pic of Ann, with the caption "Protesters blast Coulter at the G.O.P. Convention in New York City last year". <a href =" ... html">Time pic</a>

Congrats, guys, you fooled the morons. :D

And the caption says "Protesters blast Coulter at the G.O.P. Convention in New York City last year".


Rogue 9
Well, we're sure getting a kick out of that at Protest Warrior. I'd just like to offer a hearty congratulations to Communists for Kerry for taking in Time so thoroughly. We're preparing to swamp the editors in letters laughing at them for being so dense; I recommend you do the same. *Chuckle*


I know Komrade Kerry (who said that?) has been purged, but the entire website as well? And who is capitalist pig GoDaddy? A friend of $$ Halliburton??

False alarm. The Mother Page temporarily fell victim to capitalist saboteurs. We acted fast to put fear of the Party into the hearts of GoDaddy's upper echelones and the site was restored in a record-breaking time. One can't cook an egg without breaking the cook's fingers these days!

Now we'll have to withdraw our claim from the ACLU and Amnesty International, and retract all the indignant stories from the major news agencies. Someone call Maureen Dowd and Paul Krugman and tell them they can relax and go back on their well-deserved leave/vacation.

Red Square

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Hey, a medal Kerry can actually get without having to shoot himself in the foot.