Fellow Comrades:

Please keep in mind that everyone is on weekend duty starting tomorrow. We don't have any special holidays to celebrate, but since there will be so many capitalist pigs spending their time being gluttonous, we must be vigilant and make sure that all those guilty be placed into the Gulag. The Secret Police force has been increased for this weekend.

With that, I'll say, have a good weekend.

Celebrating Ramahanukwanzmas (oh wait, my bad),
Vladimir Ivanov
Marxton, District of Commissars, USSA

Dearest Comrade Ivanov,

My fingers are bloody working tirelessly this dreaded day in sending out new party directives to our sweatshops err I mean our progressive arts and crafts centers across the nation. I am happy to report that everyone in my department is working at full capacity and it doing everything possible to ensure Demokratic victories this election cycle coming up by paying off inner-city gangs and rigging voting machines. However tradgedy has hit my party approved class-C domicile, this morning I had to report to the ACLU about my party approved class-B female life partner. She has obviously recieved a C*****mas card from the White-House . I wish to appeal to you Comrade Ivanov for her speedy execution and that I may receive the proper papers needed for a younger and more attractive life partner, possibly a class-A. Although I dread the lose of my life-partner for six-teen years, I love the Party more and will continue to hand over all enemies to the state that I come into contact with....

For the love of the Party,
Chairman Meow-Say-Pun

Ahh, Chairman Meow...
If you truly love the party, then it is much more desirable that you marry yourself to the Party instead of finding a life partner. That way, everyone would be tied to each other in the party (you may have more than one life partner at any given time!). However, your secret activities to rid the state of all enemies is commendable. I will contact the "Partnering" Department to see what can be done.

Carry on, comrade.

From Marxton, DC,
Vladimir Ivanov

I will be hard at work ordering others to work for me.