Comrades, I am somewhat surprised and disappointed when I came here tonight to find that the Propaganda Dept has not posted the wonderful news yet. Bin Laden has brilliantly exposed the Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld/Military Industrial Complex for the evil, war loving, greedy capitalists that they are.

He went even further challenging the spineless, sometimes less than useful idiot Democratic party for failing to accomplish what they were elected to do. It very well could have been written by DKos itself!

Oh, and what a history lesson he gave, correcting the contrived timeline about Kennedy and the War of Aggression against the friendly, progressive Republic of North Vietnam.

Nor did he stop there. No, he also brought out the lies and guilt of the imperialist Bush in his mad desire to destroy the world with Global Warming. He also recommended some fine reading by Chomsky.

Old Bin Laden, looking fit and trim in his either fake or dyed beard, also endorsed many of the fine socialist principles that we here at the Cube stand for.... well, at least those Comrades that are still standing on a Friday night having drank their fill of vodka laced with virgin blood.

Now he was disappointing in one area though. Seems he thinks our taxes are way too low, and espoused a "non tax" contribution of a mere 2.5%. Clearly he was shooting for the conservative vote with that.

You can find some of the highlights on any news service of course, but here is the transcript.

PDF FILE: https://www.foxnews.com/projects/pdf/bi ... script.pdf

Commissar Pup, I was just as satisfied with the new videotape of the leader of our Global War on America. He sounded more like a true leftist than I had ever heard from him! He didn't spare the evil corporations, or their puppets in the White House. DAMMIT BUSHITLER! BIN LADEN UNDERSTANDS THAT 647739% OF AMERIKKKANS WANT TO LOSE, WHY DON'T YOU?!

I haven't seen Madam Speaker on here lately, but Nancy, if you read this, take note that Osama is appealing for your help! He's doing his best to defeat America, but he needs YOUR help! HE CAN'T DO IT ALONE!

Maybe we could start an Osama bin Laden book of the month club, where the stuff we read is anything by Chomsky, or that former CIA guy the heroic freedom fighter mentioned.

Ah. Glorious Osama. The son of a billionaire who made his money with sweetheart deals with the Saudi government to rebuild Mecca. Then he criticized the government. A man after my own heart--why I cut my teeth biting the hand that fed me. In fact all of my nurses are missing fingers. What a guy.

And have you noticed some of the less well-known sidelights of some of our Muslim brothers? I have heard that Saddam Hussein, as a child, made some porn movies with other men. Not that I would find anything in the slightest intriguing but in a nation of camels and burquas who knows what would start to look attractive? I suspect that the Taleban blew up those Buddhist statues in Afghanistan because of impure thoughts. Well-fed bellies, you know.

Supposedly after the AmeriKKKan fascists bombed Tora Bora, the British SAS were searching graveyards for a man 6' 5" tall, and under the beard we cannot really know his face. His one defining characteristic, even more permanent than a tattoo, is supposedly a micro-penis.

Which would either physically qualify him for the DKos or morally disqualify him. Depending on your mood.

He's still dwelling on September 11th? Come on man, get with the program! 9/11 was yesterday's news, no one cares about that. What everyone wants you to talk about is how you plan to contribute a large sum of $oft ca$h to HRC without being caught. If you do, then we will guarantee you free dialysis repair anytime you need it.

He sounded as if he was running for office on the Demokratic ticket........Osama'08?

-Mikhail

Mikhail,

Maybe he is trying for the Osama-Obama Ticket? This would make Comrade Ted Kennedy's slurring issue make sense. When Kennedy first slurred Obama's name last year, he was really declaring his support for the above ticket! Of course, that was before HRC announced her run.

And yes, Osama is, sadly, being a far better progressive than almost ANY leftist candidate (Barring HRC of course, for none is better than her!).

Wasn't it heartbreaking to hear how those Muslims were once rulers of the world, basking in glory, till their rulers fell away from the teachings of the Koran? No, Osama is right... we should not judge their culture by the backward, impoverished state they now live in due to the greed of their rulers and their enslavement to the capitalists!

Hmmmm, Hillary - Osama 08?

Arrrgh! Forgive me! Hillary needs no help or backup! She is All in All.

Commissar Theocritus wrote: Supposedly after the AmeriKKKan fascists bombed Tora Bora, the British SAS were searching graveyards for a man 6' 5" tall, and under the beard we cannot really know his face. His one defining characteristic, even more permanent than a tattoo, is supposedly a micro-penis.

His nose Commissar, his nose! No one has a nose like Osama!

Yes, the nose. And he has many children. Now my imagination is blind.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Yes, the nose. And he has many children. Now my imagination is blind.

That is the real scandal... sure, while rare a tall man can be hidden. But how do you hide a honker like Osama's?

In a burka.

He really had me going until he got to that 2.5% then he lost me, but I think we just might be able to overcome that minor difference of opinion if that 2.5% is set aside for ME.

I have proof that the dude spinning out the transcript on his etch-a-sketch teleprompter misplaced his decimal point. 2.5 percent? It was suppose to be 25 percent. Although conservative wackos may scream "fake" I forward these photos of the Etch a Sketch. Although there is an eerie absence of lines connecting letters, no prrof has been forwarded that it is not authentic. To further prove the abilities of Osamas official sketch artist, I offer a beautiful rendering of Osama with a one finger salute twards the Americans crafted just days earlier by his sketch master.

Transcript error

Beautiful Sketch

But I digress.
I've taken his message to heart, and I myself am trying to institute a new NON-Tax contribution/Union Due system. Only 25 percent of total gross pay, to help cover DNC fundraising efforts. To bamboozle the handful of capitalists that have infiltrated our ranks into believing we play fair and contribute across party lines, we plan on donating 25 dollars to the campaign of Ron Paul (who knows damn well the US had something to do with 9-11) and 10 dollars to the fledgling campaign of John "No American would work in the fields for 50 dollars per hour" McCain. Under Hillary's plan (I think) most Amerikans would be working diligently with party approved shovels in the fields at a hell of alot less. As they should. The remainder of course, to be spread around to each DNC candidate according to their needs...as determined by the party.

I would also like to take this oppertunity to announce that I have taken it upon myself to go out and find like minded neighbors and family members to help contribute to the cause. My good neighbor Kay Daly, sweet great grandmother of 8, has generously offered 2000.00 to DNC front runners, in addition to thousands of dollars to various PACs and the DNC itself. A very generous contribution indeed, considering with her income, she will no longer be able to buy food or medications. But she is making the sacrifice. Are you? Another example, my good friend Chang Lau, who came to the United States only yesterday has contributed over 12,000 dollars to various campaigns. Thank you Chang, and good luck at that janitorial job interview. It is amazing how many people are willing to donate. Finding donors is about as easys as writing any name on the donation sheet.
With a few more donations, I am hoping to make the rank of "Hillraiser" Wish me luck Brothers and Sisters!

UB

I am thinking of becomeing an etch a sketch editorialist myself, learning the fine art from the masters. Till further notice, I will only post with messages written or drawn on ""The Peoples Writting Device" in order to hone my craft. No more wasting computer power. Im going green, in grayscale.

UB

By all means, Union Boss, and just think of the advantages. If Our Many Titted Empress had kept, say, the Rose Law Firm records on an etch a sketch she would only have had to drop them instead of hide them for years. How simple.

Branish wrote:Maybe we could start an Osama bin Laden book of the month club, where the stuff we read is anything by Chomsky, or that former CIA guy the heroic freedom fighter mentioned.

And what a way to lose weight. But is eating rats green? What if the only rat is the Stephens Kangaroo Rat? That is a protected rat. And if you're feeling peckish, you cannot eat cockroaches unless you're a connoisseur of roaches for the banded roach is protected too.

And if a spotted owl flies over your cave, all hope is lost.

Commissar Pupovich wrote:Wasn't it heartbreaking to hear how those Muslims were once rulers of the world, basking in glory, till their rulers fell away from the teachings of the Koran? No, Osama is right... we should not judge their culture by the backward, impoverished state they now live in due to the greed of their rulers and their enslavement to the capitalists!

Right on, Commissar, right on! Just look at all the Muslim countries that have civil liberties, and that developed their own technology. Just look at, um, well, you know, just look at...

Ok, give me some time. Maybe Google will turn up something...

Comrades, I am shocked! Shocked! At first I was going to ask if any one had dared to go to the DKOS headquarters to see what they had to say about that ringing endorsement of their cause by no less than Osama himself. Not one word! Unbelievable! Of course it is possible they have still not recovered from their partying over this, but one would think there was at least one Moonbat left on duty there.

To them it is unremarkable.

True, but I am surprised I didn't see any "I told you so" posts.

OK, what's with the 9/11 reference? Enough already! Why do people have to keep bringing that up? It offends me and gives me these feelings of--of--oh, what's the word I'm looking for--a word that means the opposite of "loathing"--for Bush and his agenda. Is there a chance The Party might one day see the wisdom in passing a law denying the existence of 9/11? A law to have it erased from the calendar altogether? It's not enough to feel skeptical or merely doubt it happened, because Bush and his pals at Exxon and Halliburton et al still have that terrible pull on weak, susceptible proles like Pinkie. 9/11 denial should be a law! Anything less than denial should be made a crime.

BTW, what is Osama using on his beard? Bootblack? He could look even more youthful if he tried wearing a jogging suit like Comrade Fidel. As for the large nose, well, you know what they say about men so endowed--Large nose . . . large boogers.

Our comrades at DKos refuse to mention OBL because they, like some of us, feel that his sole purpose is to scare people to vote Rethuglican. We all know 9/11 was an inside job and we also all know that OBL is a Bu$h stooge trained by Ronnie Raygun himself.

Here are four possible Kos kid responses as to why they aren't talking about this latest tape:

1.) We know the Bush Regime is releasing this tape now on the heels of the Petraeus report in an attempt to scare the American idiots and our People's Congress to keep this Illegal War for Blood, Oil and Profits going!

2.) We know the Bush Regime is releasing this tape now so that Rethuglican Presidential hopefuls will look better than our superior progressive candidates like Obama and Hillary!

3.) I bet this Osama guy isn't even real and that these tapes are being produced in some Hollywood studio... probably the same studio they used to shoot the moon landing! Keith Ellison was right!

4.) Great tape! This guy gets more and more Progressive by the day! Did you hear what he said about corporate interest!!!??? I know, right! I was like totally blown away by that! It was like exactly what I said to Mcjoan the other day! Exactly what I said to her, man! Oh shit... I'm posting this! Quick, hide it or give a big troll rating so no one will see it!!!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:And what a way to lose weight. But is eating rats green? What if the only rat is the Stephens Kangaroo Rat? That is a protected rat. And if you're feeling peckish, you cannot eat cockroaches unless you're a connoisseur of roaches for the banded roach is protected too.

And if a spotted owl flies over your cave, all hope is lost.

Maybe Osama could do us all a favor and just eat his gun!!!!

This comment is out of character for me but I finally realized something serious while reading this transcript Osama's reason for hating democracy is the same as the liberals' and the commies (I mean, the party's) reason for hating democracy. IF he is taken at his word and IF he is not insane, he hates democracy b/c it doesn't protect the weak and allows for too much vice. But I will say now to you my Muslim extremist friend, what do you propose? A regime ruled by Allah? will Allah descend from the heavens and dictate what is to be done? No? then what about a worthy servant of Allah? whom could we choose? whom could we choose? What's that? you? Yes! You! You could be the worthy servant of Allah and create a dictatorial and violent regime that used brutality and oppression to liberate and make virtuous the wayward west! Why, you could straighten everything by forcing others to obey a set of inflexible and merciless laws that would set all the civilized world back some fifteen hundred years to when times were good! You, my goat smelling friend, could be the answer we've been looking for. I see it all now. How was I so blind before as to think that freedom and prosperity, family and cheerfulness, education and reason based on love of God and neighbor were all actually better than blindly following the arbitrary and whimsical law of an enslaving potentate diety dictating to a madman who doesn't know shit from shinola smeared into his beard! Where's the nearest mosque?

(I suppose this is why I'm labeled as one of those slated for re-education)

On the other hand, the imperialist Limbaugh said that he thought it could be a fake video, as he felt the face didn't quite match Bin Laden's (other than that honker) and felt it may be similar to the time the noble fighters against Amerikan imperialism in Iraq used a GI Joe doll to confuse the worn out and distraught military. So since we know he is a liar, then that would make the tape real. Then again, I also read that one "expert" said that the odd looking beard may be a message to attack! LOL! I also heard disturbing reports that the reaction of the groups that generally love Bin Laden was less than enthusiastic due to perceived Al Queda excesses in some areas by some, and by the lack of an announcement of a coming attack by others.

AbecedariusRex wrote:(I suppose this is why I'm labeled as one of those slated for re-education)

Yes, you are walking a fine line to be put on the list Comrade. Of course Mr Bin Laden is clearly out of his mind for his irrational belief in a God, but otherwise, his dogma is right on track in regard to the evil Bush and the capitalists keeping the people in chains, causing all the evils in the world. Other than that unfortunate comment about Comrade Brezhnev, who was of course one of our dimmer bulbs, his doctrine is fine in regard to progressive policies. His hatred for all things the United States stands for is right in line with our own useful idiots here, and should serve to spur the weak spined Democrats in Congress to redouble their efforts for surrender. I happened to notice that while he mentioned some by name to embarrass them for not working harder for surrender, yet he did not mention anything about our own Dear Hillary.

Whew, only just now had a chance to post. My progressive heart leaped with joy when I read on CNN/Yahoo News that Osama had slandered kapitalism, freedom (oops! sorry, meant imperialism), and democracy. Maybe Osama should speak at the next Anti-War rally? After all, 9/11 was not his fault, it was (as everyone says), an inside job. By the way, it was not only Bush, but the Zionist as well. Did you know that there was not a single Jew that died in the towers? Yes, that is right, because a man wrote a book that said that all the Jews got a phone call that morning to not to go to work. He also saw Israeli secret agents in New York that same year as well.

Mr. Bin Laden has been a catalyst for progress for some time now. He has even made great progress in courtship.

<img src="https://img183.imageshack.us/img183/977 ... lesrw7.jpg">

Osama is one of us because he too believes in the primacy of himself. My loathing for the RepubliKKKans is because some of them actually--gasp--believe that you are responsible for your own life. All actions have consequences and it the wet-dream of this old party member to get to say who gets to pay for the actions--and as arbitrarily as possible. Keeps 'em in subjugation.

Comrades! I was perusing the Imperialist NRO propaganda pages so as to be on top of their lies so as to refute them. However, I was unprepared to discover evidence in their own pages that, despite the seeming too low (non) tax rate Bin Laden mention of 2.5%, the Hebrews actually called for less! Proving once again their disregard for the needs of their people. I had to verify this in their forbidden book, and there it was.

Eze 45:13 This is the oblation that ye shall offer; the sixth part of an ephah of an homer of wheat, and ye shall give the sixth part of an ephah of an homer of barley:

Now, an ephah is one tenth of a homer, so that makes for a tax of a paltry 1.6%!

Commissar Pupovich wrote:Comrades! I was perusing the Imperialist NRO propaganda pages so as to be on top of their lies so as to refute them. However, I was unprepared to discover evidence in their own pages that, despite the seeming too low (non) tax rate Bin Laden mention of 2.5%, the Hebrews actually called for less! Proving once again their disregard for the needs of their people. I had to verify this in their forbidden book, and there it was.

Eze 45:13 This is the oblation that ye shall offer; the sixth part of an ephah of an homer of wheat, and ye shall give the sixth part of an ephah of an homer of barley:

Now, an ephah is one tenth of a homer, so that makes for a tax of a paltry 1.6%!

To paraphrase Bill Cosby "What's a homer?" Is this some reference to Yiddish baseball? Or are we talking the classics? or does this mean that Zionists object to the Simpsons in some diabolical way? I am thoroughly confused now.

Comrade, you must be fluent in all forms of exchange, and in fact, a homer is the perfect form of exchange to "bundle" for Hillary!

A unit of capacity used by the ancient Hebrews, equal to 10 ephahs (about 10 bushels) or 10 baths (about 100 gallons). Also called kor.

Speaking of bundlers.... you have to admire the way Hillary almost took care of Hsu for his failure... though apparently he survived whatever poison or drug he was administered. Her security people must have underestimated the dosage.

"Aboard the California Zephyr, Hsu stripped off his shirt and shoes, appeared disoriented and had trouble opening a door, among other bizarre behaviors, witnesses on the train told The San Francisco Chronicle.

Hsu roamed a train car "without shoes and no shirt. ... I thought he had a suitcase full of crack or meth," Alberto Dee, 21, told the newspaper. He said Hsu "freaked out" when Amtrak employees approached him."

The oddest things seem to befall people who fail the Hillary...

Commissar Pupovich wrote:... you have to admire the way Hillary almost took care of Hsu for his failure... though apparently he survived whatever poison or drug he was administered.

"Aboard the California Zephyr, Hsu stripped off his shirt and shoes, appeared disoriented and had trouble opening a door, among other bizarre behaviors, witnesses on the train told The San Francisco Chronicle.

Hsu roamed a train car "without shoes and no shirt. ... I thought he had a suitcase full of crack or meth," Alberto Dee, 21, told the newspaper. He said Hsu "freaked out" when Amtrak employees approached him."

The oddest things seem to befall people who fail the Hillary...

yeah. wierdovich. three words: Alexander Valterovich Litvinenko
That's a mouthful right there!!!!

////Warning: Things I saw in the Osama video. This is out of Character////////
There are several interesting things on the video that bear mentioning.

1. "Osama" barely moves during the entire event. Gone are his animated speech and movement.

2. His nose looks like it was flattened/widened. Also, several wrinkles and age lines are missing. I would say plastic surgery, but I could also say embalming.

3. The beard is not only colored, but is cut different as is the hair. Hair coloring is against Sharia unless one is making a statement of war and needs to look aggressive. Thus, this is the "3 day warning to convert or die". For everyone who thinks he is only talking about the US Military in the "death" part, they are terribly mistaken. Islam demands that its followers rule the world. Nothing less is acceptable. Islam already rules increasing sections of Europe and is deeply planted in several US cities. I would say "wake up" America, but what good has it done thus far?

4. There are no rifles or other war instruments, yet the hair is colored. Gone is his trademark AKM (the short-barreled, immaculate AKM he has always had). Also, Osama (or lookalike/puppet) is not holding the mic as he has done in the past. His arms lay limp against the table; almost stiff.


In short, this video while full of the usual BS with leftist talking points taken right from DKos/DU/DNC web-pages, it is telling of the sad state of Osama's health. He and his handlers desire that he appear strong. Yet all he does is look like a corpse: posed, gaunt, festering, and weak (Weekend at Bernie's?).

Actually, he reminds me more of his idol, Hitler, when he 'reviewed' is last line of defense in Berlin, just before retiring to his bunker and shooting himself.

//////////End Out of Character observations. Returning to useful idiot drone mode in 3...2...1..../////////



Comrades, I still think Osama is trying for a position as either an ambassador, or communications director under the glorious reign of HRC. Just think of how well he will control the media (especially the vile 'new media' that dares denounce Party Truth with vile reality). The exchange in a press briefing might go something like this:

Osama: I now open the floor to questions approved by the party. (Osama fiddles with something behind the podium and a metal 'racking' sound is heard)

Helen Thomas: (who cares what she 'asks' as she will only simper before the might of HRC... And LIKE it... or else).

Osama: I would say 'how dare you address me uncovered kuffer woman!!', but I do not know if I would be correct with the 'woman' part. I mean, for the love of Allah, WHAT are you? Next question... Yes, the miserable apish kuffer in the back.

Imperialist FNC Journalist: Yes, thank you. Osama, why has President Clinton sent in the FBI, ATF, and something she calls "Party Special Police" into radio and some TV studios, like ours, and begun enforcing what she calls a "fairness doctrine" by outlawing ALL dissenting opinions? (matallic click sound from podium) What is this?! You are making us report lies about her imposing an actual police state at gunpoint!! How dare she... Wait, is that an AK??!!! What is going on... (Bang!! Bang... Bang Bang Bang!!!!)

(dead FNC journalist hits floor)

Osama (smiling ear to ear and drawing a knife): Now, what other foolish kuffer wants to ask a non-party approved question? None? Good. Now go write a story on how this imperialist FNC reporter tried to assassinate the President and that President Clinton has immediately order the nationalization of 'treasonous' Fox News for the Greater Good(tm) and signed it over to the new PBS (Palestine Broadcasting System), run by my "Number 2" in Al Qeada. Report that we have proof this..... terrorist.. yes... Haha... was funded by the Republicans and Christians and that they too are now outlawed!! Report well, kuffer, or else you to will face the death deserved by all apes and pigs.

Commissar Pupovich wrote:
Speaking of bundlers.... you have to admire the way Hillary almost took care of Hsu for his failure... though apparently he survived whatever poison or drug he was administered. Her security people must have underestimated the dosage.

"Aboard the California Zephyr, Hsu stripped off his shirt and shoes, appeared disoriented and had trouble opening a door, among other bizarre behaviors, witnesses on the train told The San Francisco Chronicle.

Hsu roamed a train car "without shoes and no shirt. ... I thought he had a suitcase full of crack or meth," Alberto Dee, 21, told the newspaper. He said Hsu "freaked out" when Amtrak employees approached him."

The oddest things seem to befall people who fail the Hillary...

This needs to happen to obl.
This is shocking! That obl isn't ordered to a Karl Marx Treatment center. He is a threat to the Hiltybeast future power. His weak liberalism should be replaced with strong communism then put up against the People Wall.
The proles must obey us! Only the State must rule, no room for other beliefs.

Comrade TankoGrad wrote:Hair coloring is against Sharia unless one is making a statement of war and needs to look aggressive. Thus, this is the "3 day warning to convert or die".

My research has shown that the coloring of the beard indeed represents the "Taliban Security Advisory System" - sort of like the color-coded alert system in the US. The beard color ranges from "Atomic Pink" to "Paradise Blue."

Unnoticed, Agent Orange penetrates enemy lines to deliver the message: "This week's color is Orange Mayhem"

Hat tip to PurpleJihad.org representing Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered members of Global Jihad for Peace and the Destruction of Israel


Turns out, Taliban Security Advisory System has the following beard gradations:

Orange Mayhem
Atomic Pink
Nuclear Red
Napalm Orange
Purple Smoke
Cherry Bomb
Green Banner of the Prophet
Virgin Rose
Paradise Blue
Pitch Black

Osama's beard is Pitch Black, the most advanced stage of emergency...

This guy looks like Sid Caesar on crack!


I almost fell out of the chair laughing. Gay Muslims for Peace (and the destruction of Israel)???? BWAhahahahahahaha!

AbecedariusRex wrote:Gay Muslims for Peace (and the destruction of Israel)???? BWAhahahahahahaha!

Just in case, a disclaimer: it's a photoshopped image I did for a different story on the Cube.

But now I'm thinking about making a parody leaflet for the Purple Jihad Hair Dye series of products with a tagline "Dye For Allah," with all the info from above inserted and more. If anyone has suggestions, post them here before I begin.

Q: How often do I have to dye for Allah?
A: You'll know when you look in the mirror

Purple Jihad!!! That is hillarious!!!! Even better is that you choose the great pose for the photoshop. I mean, WHAT is happening to that guy underneath the sign causing him to make a face like THAT??!?!

Maybe it has something to do with the pole behind him?

Shouldn't that be Rainbow Jihad? Or at least Pink Jihad?

AbecedariusRex wrote:
This guy looks like Sid Caesar on crack!

Sid Caesar

Dear Lenin!!! Maybe Cid Caesar IS on crack.... and hiding in Afghanistan....

Another oldie...

As promised, here's the Purple Jihad "Dye for Allah" Hair Products and Restoration:

Leader Red, I see the progressive Transgender Alliance of Allah. (Note: why does not my progressive spell checker recognize "Transgender"? Is it <i>reactionary</i>?) Since these persons have beards, I can only assume that they are dykes with hormones. In which case, where is the arc-welder?

But unfortunately I, although the most progressive of Party Members, and always willing to proclaim my freedom from racist/sexist/hymanist/speciesist/applianceist bias, have never been willing to abandon my sentimental attachment to what goes into my underwear. Now it is true that these days no one really wants it any more--even Bruno sniffs--but I was born with it and I have not grown unattached to it.

But that does not mean that I have not learned something about how one experiences these odysseys into personal liberation. It is, I am given to believe, rather easier to perform the personal journey of self-discovery from being randomly assigned by nature as a male to being master, er, mistress of one's fate as a fully self-described female for it requires a procedure which removes something.

It is harder, however, to go from the randomly assigned sex of female to the life-affirming volitional choice--all right, there was a sale on redundancy--of being male, although of course it is a horrible thing to be a member of the oppressive vertical-thinking male sub-human species. But it is all right <i>as long as you were not born a male</i> or if you're gay that's all right too because people just think you're playing at being one. <character off>That's what being licked by a liberal feels like. Conservatives the great majority of the time think you've got balls. Think on the moral vanity of the left.<on>

Phalloplasty is the medical procedure which our Progressive Surgeons use to equip someone not masculinely enabled by an utterly capricious Nature. At the current state of the art, which must be improved if we are to avoid a black-out of the earth by the power demands of the Hildo Hydra 7.1, there are only two options:

1. The John Holmes option, which makes something large and superficially impressive, but utterly useless, incapable of action and without any feeling, which someone I know once called Teddy but I had to eliminate him, or

2. Something very small with some sensation. Considering that some Reich-wing Repulikkkans have suggested that dear OBL has a micropenis, is it possible that he is indeed an ex-womyn?

In either case he requires a turkey baster.

And I am now capable of revealing that our Many Titted Empress is shy one tit--it has been successfully used in a third form of phalloplasty. Wait until AmeriKKKa gets a load of that.