Breaking: Bezos New Cyber Safety Czar of Homeland Security

Jeff Bezos Introduced as Cyber Safety Czar in new office under the Department of Homeland Security

Bezos pictured back left
Wilmington - November 24, 2020 - President-Elect Biden introduced his security team this afternoon and discussed his plan to create a new position within the Department of Homeland Security called the "Cyber Safety Czar", and plans to nominate Jeff Bezos to the position."It was an obvious choice," stated Biden, "with our plans to be able to gather information on all worshipers, family holiday celebrants, and non-mask wearers. It was a no-brainer, since most of Mr. Bezos' software and hardware infrastructure is already in most people's homes, with that Amazon Emo doohicky or Alexandria thingamabobber."An inside source who will remain anonymous provided the name for the planned operation to be unveiled in more detail in 2021 as Operation "Binary Information Gathering Before Republicans Or Trumpers Have Even Realized", or B.I.G. B.R.O.T.H.E.R.At the time we went to press, a whistleblower was reporting that it is all a ruse by Jeff Bezos to actually remove President Biden so that he can become the Supreme Leader and marry his longtime crush, Jill Biden.