As a progressive, a Demokrat, and a full fledged member of the Humyn race (after several blood transfusions that replaced my reptilian blood) I can now officially say that I am morally outraged. Yes, the news that has been transmitted Via Laika the Space Dog is in fact true, the Stock Market collapsed and nearly 100 billion people instantaneously died today on impact… before the closing bell that is.

Once again Party Noble Falsehoods™ instantly become the accepted truth… we've warned you, comrades – we have always been warning you about the dastardly lies of the capitalist, Repuglicans and this unorthodox Administration's lust for Blood and Oil™.

And now, now in the twilight hours of the trading day, 100 billion people had to die in order to turn a profit… I am sickened… sickened beyond repair and can only blame the Bushitlerwarmonger for this latest injustice against The People™.

When will the masses learn that all this Administration does is lie, lie, lie and lie some more after all the other lies and those other other lies after the first set of lies!?! Wasn't it but a month or so ago… somewhere…. uhhh…. just the other day that the Buhler's economic henchmen announced that the economy was good because of the Stock Market or something…ummm…. yeah, something like that, right? I'm afraid so, comrades. He lied to us again and we fell for it…and now my shares in Tofu and Big Latte took a plunge and I have lost oodles of money.

What about Sandy Sue, or Rodney, or Kafeeka who had their welfare ca$h invested in some of these stocks!? What about them!? Huh!? What about them and the countless others who have invested in this sick, sick game of robbery! I was promised by this “Administration” (if you want to call it just that) that MY money, my precious hard stolen money would be safe from such a disaster! They told me, they personally told me, that the economy does not have cycles and that all my investments would be safe and, and, and would triple by next Tuesday! LIES, LIES, LIES!

Don't believe me? Well, just ask MSNBC… they will tell you the truth!

The truth from the mouth of truth-seekers!

Just a reminder...

THIS IS AN ECONOMIC DISASTER! PEOPLE ARE STARVING IN THE STREETS NOW BECAUSE OF THIS COUNTRY! ITS ALL OUR FAULT, AS ALWAYS! CHINA HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, THEY ARE GOOD PEACEFUL PEOPLE WITH AN OUTSTANDING TRACK RECORD IN HUMYN RIGHTS! AmeriKKKa... you should be ashamed of yourself!

Are people jumping out of their office windows screaming "I'm bankrupt?" There have to be people jumping. Off the bridges too. We learned it in history class that thousands of people jumped at the start of the Great Depression™. And what happened today is much worse than the Great Depression™ because Bush is in charge, not a socialist president.

I later read somewhere that the story of bankrupted people jumping out of the windows in 1929 was a later invention, an urban myth so to speak, spread by left-leaning writers. Which, in its turn, surely is a lie invented by the Great Depression™ deniers. Those Great Depression™ deniers are just as bad as the Global Warming™ deniers or the Hurricane Katrina™ deniers and even worse!

Yes, capitalist pigs jumped out windows because they lost everything... including their families. Let this be a lesson of what a free-market can do to you. More importantly... the poor put-upon union members were called into action to clean the streets of the sea of bodies. These poor miserable union members actually had to work today all because of some silly capitalist pig trying to make a profit of his Angry White Christian Male™ stocks! Outrage...complete outrage! But let us not forget His Most Supreme Excellency, Joe Kennedy Sr., who made his fortune off the collapse of the Stock Market. He even went out of his way after ca$hing in to make sure the loopholes he used were forever sealed so that no one else may profit in the same way he did. Ahh yes, the Kennedy Clan®... the undisputed Feudal lords of Progressive Royalty. They are an inspiration to us all and must never be forgotten.

There is nothing worst than a Great Depression™ denier... except for the Kennedy kids, who were so well off that they didn't even notice a Depression was going on. And maybe if we are that loyal to Her Excellency, we too may be entitled and privy enough to be shielded by the coming economic prosperity in which She (and The Party) will deliver to the multitudes of unwashed Peoples. Ahh yes, sitting in my gated commune earning 40% while The People™ suffer... uhh, I mean prosper!! I mean prosper!!!!!

Latest NYT figures show that about 20 trillion people are starving now, resorting to cannibalism, blame Bush, and hate Amerika even more now then they did yesterday... oh, it also suggest that we are really really really losing in Iraq now too since this major economic disaster.

Once again... Capitalism kills, Liberty suffocates and prosperity is fleeting (unless you elect a Clinton, then and only then is everything A-OK!)

On an unrelated note, how are sock stocks stacking up?

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:As a progressive, a Demokrat, and a full fledged member of the Humyn race (after several blood transfusions that replaced my reptilian blood) I can now officially say that I am morally outraged. Yes, the news that has been transmitted Via Laika the Space Dog is in fact true, the Stock Market collapsed and nearly 100 billion people instantaneously died today on impact… before the closing bell that is.

Just reading some old posts since some one, whose name will go unmentioned, has failed to start the Show Trial-Fund Raiser.

Any way, I was reading this post that happened before my enlightenment, and was shocked by this tragedy, But what of the Bears Chairman? What of the Bears? They were apparently victims as well.

From the linked article:

The question overhanging the market pullback is whether those good times will continue to roll. Former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan cast some doubt on the economic outlook Monday when he told a business conference that after uninterrupted growth since 2001, he now sees signs of a looming recession.

Holy Lenin on a Vostok, what the.... Somebody get Greenspan on the carpet NOW! The official party line is that the years since the Clintons left office have been nothing but economic disaster! Children squating in filth while their parents beg for pennies from rich Haliburton plutocrats, infrastructure collapsing due to military spending to fund the illegal war, communities in flames because the Bushitler has all the National Guard units in Iraq--That's the current truth, not this "uninterrupted growth" claptrap!

At least he had the good sense to piss on the future in his statement....

Comrade Brain, are we the only dedicated Party members here? Where is the Show Trial? Where are the defenders of the Party? Apparently it is just a Pup and a Brain left to carry on the work.

I've been writing Goremon Winter Solstice carols and channelling the spirit of Ethyl Merman for the Empress...haven't seen anybody else shambling about the halls

I'm out in the parking lot scalping tickets to the event. Of course all proceeds will be given to the Empress.

Who's doing the vodka concession? Perchance does The Party need a <ahem> volunteer?

I thought it was a BYOB trial. So I think that would give you the concession Pinkie.