Comrades, I am sure that you, like me, wept tears of joy as Barack Hussein Obama was sworn into as the 44th president of the USSA. At last: a true progressive in the White House! Something that we can be proud of.

I was watching the inauguration on a small television in the yard because I wanted my rapture to be as painless as possible. “When His O'liness is invested,” I thought, “my position as a Made Progressive will insure my rapture into the empyrean heights of Unlimited Grievances, Advanced Socialism, and Perfect Equality. For who has striven more for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™ more than I have?”

I saw the Big O take the oath from Chief Justice Roberts, and thought, “That Roberts is toast; he won't fit in as a judge in a star chamber <i>at all</i>,” but consoled myself that soon I would be levitating off my chaise longue to go to UGASPE.

But, comrades, it did not happen. I did not levitate an inch. And my Mumbai Non-conflict Sapphire gin and tonic didn't even refill itself. Does that mean that I am not a Made Progressive? And if you're reading this, that means that you're not a Made Progressive either.

What did I do wrong? Every time I could I sneered at a Rethuglican. The Evil Chimpy McBusHitler gave the most money ever to fight AIDS and still I sniffed that he'd done nothing.

The Federal Government asked Mayor Ray Nagin how they could help and Nagin said, “We'll do it,” as his cops looted Cadillac dealerships. But I blamed it all on Chimpy McBusHitler. Of course.

~

Was I insufficiently devout in my devotions to the Planet Gaia? I force everyone around me to recycle, but don't if I don't want to. Now that's progressive, isn't it?

I even sat through an <i>entire speech</i> by the Holy Gore without sleeping. I had to have some of the knife wounds I inflicted on myself to stay awake stitched up, but I did stay awake.

I never see anyone doing anything but I don't think of a better way for him to do it and I'm never stinting with my advice, and whenever possible I make it coercive. What is more progressive than that?

Every asset that anyone owns could be put to a better use, as defined by me, and I am untiring in seizing other people's property. Is that not the definition of a Made Progressive? I leave Chairman Meow in the dust these days, which you have to learn to do if you want to keep your toes and fingers and the tattoo on your chest.

Every time that something went wrong, even if it was done by a Progressive, I blamed a Rethuglican. Especially if it was done by a Progressive. Now that is the <i>definition</i> of a Progressive. “I want what I want and it's your responsibility to give it to me.”

I spent ten times as much money as I had and then insisted that the government give me other people's money. Progressivism starts there.

I don't believe that actions should have consequences. If other people's actions don't have consequences then I get to arbitrate and say what happens to whom, and if my actions don't have consequences, well, that's just a given. This is the holy grail of Progressivism.

What more could I have done, Comrades? I sneered and sniffed and stole and lied and framed and was the sorriest, most self-righteous sick bastard that I could possibly be, and sill I was not raptured. And if you're reading this, neither were you.

Does any comrade have suggestions on how to be a better Progressive, so that we can become Made Progressives? Then we will be elevated into the sky to do Progressive Talent Shitting on the lesser and benighted people below.

Commissar Theocritus,

Your problem is multifactorial. You do list some minor tithes to the Party but you stopped terribly short.

For example you do have the Progressive's Mantra down pat about "kissing up and shitting down" however there are several areas in which you are very deficient which have delayed your Ascension:

1. You probably did continually denounce the War in Iraq as a failure and demanded that we pull out and stop all aggression and you also very likely chanted the Party Line: "No Treasure for Blood" but you failed to help co-sponser Charlie Rangle's (D-NY) piece of legislature to re-instate the draft.

2. You probably always paid your taxes on time, remember all Progressives will eventually pay their taxes but only when it comes into light that they haven't.

3. There was no mention of what your contribution was to making the One's Inauguration even more lavish and expensive despite the economic times as well as failing to snivel about Bush's last inagural costs.

4. You didn't mention how many Necro-Proxies you registered or how many you are currently registering for the next election.

5. Where is your homage to glorious leader Jimmy "Hamas Lover" Carter who is actually The One re-incarnated?

6. You are probably not wearing your lapel Flag Pin that clearly showed all 57 stars, which clearly represents the correct number of states The One campaigned in!

7. Sadly you dared mentioned The One's middle name...almost unforgivable, at least for the next 2 years.....

8. Did emulate The One by locking away forever or burning your own original birth certificate?

9. Surely you made a big deal and show about how vital it is to make charitable contributions all the while giving essentially nothing.....Remember liberals are liberal with other peoples money....

10. And finally just how many "Hopes" and "Changes" do you say to Karl Marx each night???

Robot, I bristle at your suggestion that I have been less than a True Progressive.

I do pay my taxes. But I use a magnet to destroy the MICR numbers on the check, requiring hand coding. If you get the first three numbers in the zipcode right, it goes to the right regional post office. If not, it zooms across the country. The IRS has the first zipcode in each area. I always transpose the 3rd and 4th digits of the IRS zipcode and mail on October 15. Also I never use their envelope because using mine requires special handling. [This is all true by the way.]

Why register Necro-proxies? That's specialist work which the Daleys and the Gores require a franchise for. I'm working to do away with them all together.

Why would I give money to the Inauguration of His O'liness? I did my bit with Potty Parity. After all, no one has done more for shit in Washington than I have.

I would never wear a flag lapel pin, unless it had a hammer and sickle. Or the state seal of California.

And what's wrong with Hussein as a middle name? If we had with the Kennedys Camelot we can have now Cameljock.

I did not mention my charitable contributions of old underwear because that's <i>so</i> Bill and Hillary. Of course I do it--all good progressives do--but after all, Bill has shot his wad and our MTE is going to go about throwing her considerable ass around. Now deducting her underwear. What's a parachute's value these days?

I do thank you, though, loyal comrade, for your help in letting me figure out why I was not raptured. For my goal is ascension into UGASPE, where all are equal, except those who are more equal than others, everything is happy, except for those of us who traffic in grievances, and the socialism is perfect and pure, and stops at my front door.

Comrade Commissar, do not despair!!
When you feel the icey touch of self-doubt just think of the enlightened words or Princess Caroline "uhmm....you know...uhh..you know... that NAFTA thingy..." and you will feel the rapture as if the STASI had just kicked in your door!!

Doubt=Nyet!

Remember: They are the ones they have been waiting for

Comrades, I must report something DID happen to me! As I was sitting there, falling asleep during His O'liness's speech, the money left my wallet and began floating towards Washington. Later, I visited my bank to cash a check but my bank WAS GONE, and all that was left was a pile of TARPs. At that point, I believe I had a Near Debt Experience. Fearing that I was going crazy (or maybe worse, conservative) I decided to drive over to my physician's office for a MRI of my brain; much to my amazement, my car was gone and in it's place was a Pelosi GTxi SS/RT Sport Edition. The car was so small, it was hard to sit comfortably and the crampedness soon caused me to be light-headed. I could swear I had a vision of the Angel Nansky who appeared with red tail and cloven hooves (she said it was a sign of her progressivism) and she showed me a future world where the only medical care would be a government bureaucrat with a rectal thermometer the size of a fire hydrant. And she said, "But at least everyone will be covered!" Then, she faded away into a glimpse of the Capitol where all the Senators and Congressthings were using dollar bills to light cigars and making paper airplanes out of them. I awoke from this vision to the sound of my Pelosi GTxi SS/RT Sport Edition exploding into a pile of re-cyclable parts. What do you think it all means?

Opiate!

Clearly you were in a psychogenic fugue state because all of those things really did happen. This was of course brought on by the stress of too much Hope & Change in such a sort period! You should know better, only a true brainless, bootlicking Obama-Bin-Biden sycophant can tolerate such high levels of Chope^TM!

Risks factors for this particular psychiatric behavior includes smoking and inhaling (inhaling: "That is the point") crack with Obama in the good ole days before he was made the President-Select or otherwise known as the President-In-Training.

Kind and Generous Commissar Theocritus; I can see you are very upset and disappointed, If Che made you a nice snack, and I sent my most Psychotic Goonsskilled and efficient troopers to beat the living crap out of some who pissed you off, and after, they could stop by Katie's Christmas & Collectibles and confiscated, borrowed her entire Hummel inventory, would this make you feel better?

We in the bureau of kicking doors at midnight hate to see you this downhearted. We want to help, Commissar. Perhaps we could go steal borrow Pupovich's ZIL. Leave a piece of crap 1973 Chevy Vega in its place. Would this cheer you up?

Red Star
Director of Kicking doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma cutter,
and other tools.
Defender of the faith

Red Star wrote:We want to help, Commissar. Perhaps we could go steal borrow Pupovich's ZIL. Leave a piece of crap 1973 Chevy Vega in its place. Would this cheer you up?

Perhaps I could help, Comrade. Redistribution of automobiles is Change I can Believe In. After you jack acquire the ZIL, drive it down to Platform 3 and have the Prole On Duty load it into the special car carrier I'll have waiting. The car will be carried to my Very Equal Car Wash and Detail Gulag. There it will be cleaned so throroughly that no few than 5 proles will expire from the effort. They'll use Neo-CHope Wash with active ingredient LYE, dry it with scratch-free capitalist skins, and finished off with a shiny TeddyTime scotch and brain tumor based wax. You just send some of your team to kick down the doors of the car carrier the next day.

The entire process is either green or carbon-offset and is fully politically correct. Naturally, the service is free. Just use the cupon code "Need" during web-checkout...

-Obamissar Vodkavich
Obamissar of Gulags and Car Wash Products.

Yes yes, Kind and Generous Commissar Theocritus always loves to see the results of forced and brutal labor, especially were lives were lost. Perhaps after the car wash and detail, put a happy meal in it for Bruno, and the Commissar will be thrilled.

And being jacked from Pupovich will make it all the better. Also perhaps send an entire squad of Car detail proles to Rancho Rio Grande and have to Wash wax and clean the entire Rancho Motor pool including the John Deere tractor.

Red Star, Vodkavich, you made this old socialist's eyes tear up. So much that I had to try <i>twice</i> to pick a pocket, and that hasn't happened since I went to that Ecuadorean Dip School.

Yes, I think that the Zil would make me feel better, and I'll put some of the Hummels in it. And since it was Pupovich's it will be all the sweeter. On another thread I said that I loved and trusted that old comrade enough that I'd turn my back on him for four seconds. Well, when his car is jacked, he'll find that he shouldn't return the favor.

But my worries are that if I, who am a prole's prole, a socialist's socialist, a thief's thief, was not raptured, what does that mean? Am I not fully engaged in the totalitarian dialectic? Insofar as there is a totalitarian dialectic because my idea of totalitarianism is that I talk, the world listens, but dialect has a nice Marxist ring to it so I'll keep it.

And how can I lead other brethren to the Socialist Rapture of his O'liness? How I long for the Sweet By and By, when I shall see the Obamessiah sitting where Lincoln's statue once was, with the Holy Gore on his right and President Ahamafuckingjerk of Iran on his left. With Michael Moore as the buffet table.

But if I am not raptured, then how can I get into The Presence? I must get into the Presence. I've tried everything to get rid of this wart on my ass and only His touch can heal me.

Opiate wrote:Comrades, I must report something DID happen to me! As I was sitting there, falling asleep during His O'liness's speech

Ah. I have found the problem. Opiate, <b>you fell asleep during His O'liness' Speech!</b> Bad Opiate! Bad Opiate! That is why Cubans have to stand while Fidelito delivers his pearls of wisdom to them, sometimes for three hours at a time. And the same for Dear Leader in North Korea. Just because you're sitting alone in your bourgeois hovel, with a <i>television</i>--do I have to remind you just how favored you are to have one of those?--it does not excuse you from standing to attention when His O'liness speaks.

You offended the Shades of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, who exacted their vengeance on you and that is why you underwent that trauma with the Pelosi GT.

Although a true socialist would be glad to say, "I gave my all for the party."

Bruno says that all the time.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I do pay my taxes. But I use a magnet to destroy the MICR numbers on the check, requiring hand coding. If you get the first three numbers in the zipcode right, it goes to the right regional post office. If not, it zooms across the country. The IRS has the first zipcode in each area. I always transpose the 3rd and 4th digits of the IRS zipcode and mail on October 15. Also I never use their envelope because using mine requires special handling. [This is all true by the way.]

Theo,
You, too? I had a crony in college, scion of a wealthy family but chronically short on timely deposits to his checking account, so he used to swear by the magic of the magnet. Was a lawyer, now a PhD in neurobiology who doesn't work.

I have not resorted to that since 1984, but it's nice to know it.

But in the Progressive World of Next Tuesday, which did not arrive for me since sadly I was not raptured as a Made Progressive, all that will be taken care of. The greasewood at the Rancho de Rio Grande will grow $100 bills.

Proletarian Robot wrote:Opiate!

Clearly you were in a psychogenic fugue state because all of those things really did happen. This was of course brought on by the stress of too much Hope & Change in such a sort period! You should know better, only a true brainless, bootlicking Obama-Bin-Biden sycophant can tolerate such high levels of Chope^TM!

Risks factors for this particular psychiatric behavior includes smoking and inhaling (inhaling: "That is the point") crack with Obama in the good ole days before he was made the President-Select or otherwise known as the President-In-Training.

Comrade Robot,

You are quite correct. I live in the People's Democratic Republic of New Jerky; our state motto is "The Psychogenic Fugue State". Our leader, Commissar Jon Corzine, is the poster boy for "Dissociative Personality Disorder (who-am-I-again?) Awareness Week". You may have heard a couple of years ago he was injured in an auto accident; he was not wearing his seat belt as his driver was speeding on the Garden State Parkway (90 mph in a 65 zone) and scared the crap out of another driver actually OBEYING the law. Some swerving was done and Gov. Shithead was lucky to escape with a broken leg. Naturally, Gov. fudge-for-brains saw fit to do a bunch of TV ads lecturing the rest of us about safe driving and wearing seat belts.

You probably heard about our prior leader, Comrade Jim McGreevy. He resigned after his spurned gay lover threatened to go public about their affair and the fact that Comrade McGreevy gave him a high-paying job on the public payroll (for which he was unqualified) so they could.... well, you can guess the rest. (Comrade McGreevy was married to a woman at the time and had children - it's all for the children.) I was travelling with my wife in Arizona when the news broke. The way we found out is we were buying something at a store when the clerk asked us where we were from, and like fools we told her New Jersey. The guy behind us said, "Hey, your governor just resigned yesterday because of his affair with his gay lover." At that point, I went into a psychogenic fugue state, turned to my wife and said, "From now on, let's tell people we're from Pennsylvania."

Yes, Comrade, the workers here are progressively insane (or insanely progressive, pretty much the same thing) and proud of it! We are full of Chope^TM (it's probably dumped into the water by New Yorkers.)

Opiate, I am ashamed of you. Governor McGreevy broke his marriage vows, shamed his wife, embarrassed his children, hooked up with a queen gold-digger, whom he bought off with public money.

What's not to like, for a good Progressive? Would you rather him have been honest and faithful? Then he might have been mistaken for a Rethuglican.

{off}
There are still some of them left, aren't there?

Commissar Theocritus wrote: Ah. I have found the problem. Opiate, <b>you fell asleep during His O'liness' Speech!</b> Bad Opiate! Bad Opiate! That is why Cubans have to stand while Fidelito delivers his pearls of wisdom to them, sometimes for three hours at a time. And the same for Dear Leader in North Korea. Just because you're sitting alone in your bourgeois hovel, with a <i>television</i>--do I have to remind you just how favored you are to have one of those?--it does not excuse you from standing to attention when His O'liness speaks.

You offended the Shades of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, who exacted their vengeance on you and that is why you underwent that trauma with the Pelosi GT.

Although a true socialist would be glad to say, "I gave my all for the party."

Bruno says that all the time.

Commissar, I must be frank, these incidents are not new to me. I had many instances during the campaign where I dreamed Comrade Obama was dressed in a tin suit and sang "If I 'O'nly had a brain!" Those visions stopped after erection day when he became the Chosen One but then I started having new dreams where a hundred million or so voters were singing it. So I have had problems with this kind of thing before.

But, I must tell you as a true socialist, I make it a habit to stand when Obama, Castro or any other party leader speaks, even if I am sitting on the toilet at the time. The only time I sit is when the Star Spangled Banner is played. However, on Coronation Day, I was conducting an experiment. Science tells us that in standing, blood tends to be pulled away from the brain towards the feet (something called "gravitas" which mostly emanates from Algore as the media instructed us in 2000.) I have heard that when Chairman Obama speaks, his words are so elevated, so nuanced, that only those with superior mental acuity (like the editors of the NY Times) can understand what he is saying. I was jealous, Commissar, JEALOUS! I wanted to be one of the few, the proud, the chosen ones who could understand his O'liness. So, I thought that by lying down during the peroration, more blood would flow to my brain and possibly enable it to work at a high enough level that I might become one of the enlightened. Alas, it did not work. My other organs, progressives that they are, demanded their fair share of the blood. My socialist heart could not bear to hear their cries so it redistributed the blood for the greater good. The result was a soporific to my brain right at its moment of glory. Alas, like Jimmy Carter, I tried to touch the clouds but ended up crashing into my own buffoonery. I will just have to wait with the rest of the proles for the high priests and priestesses of the MSM to explain His wonders to my meager mind. I am so depressed, I must go and denounce myself for many hours in front of the 8x8 poster of The One on my wall.

Opiate, your faithful attitude is such that all is forgiven. I too have found that lying down does increase the blood supply to the brain, enabling keener lucubration, so that I may ponder each of the glorious points that His O'liness brings forth. Do you know, Opiate, I don't think that I ever heard English words before the perorations of His O'liness. Just some rasping sounds coming from the mouths of other people, and I could, after a fashion, grasp what they were getting at.

But the first time that His O'liness opened his mouth and sounded the clarion cry of a kinder, gentler, purer socialism in his dulcet and mellifluous tones, dark umber with just a tinge of vermillion, with a long finish, I knew that the muffs had fallen from my ears and that I would never hear the same way again.

I instantly threw away my copy of Mozart's requiem--why, I thought, keep it? It is nothing but the inferior work of a DWEM. And while His O'liness was enlightening me, and thrilling my brain and curling my toes with his soaring rhetoric.

"We are the ones we have been waiting for!" How very true! Such an <i>arriviste</i> attitude, which turned into an instant classic. Humble? At first blush, no. But when you realize the all-encompassing viewpoint, the Unified Field Theory of Socialism, combining larceny, pomposity, and random acts of seizure, you realize that indeed it is not at all immodest but only just.

Do not, however, wait for Keith Olbermann to explain things to you for he is currently on an Ativan drip to stop the seizures.

Opiate wrote:

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]was jealous, Commissar, JEALOUS! I wanted to be one of the few, the proud, the chosen ones who could understand his O'liness.
[/HIGHLIGHT]

Opiate, please do not despair! Stop your contrition of saying multiple "Hail the Bailouts" to Obama's picture while kneeling on broken pencils.

Apparently, most if not all the people, including the MSM were unable to understand him. That is why he had to retake his vows in seclusion without any cameras or The Bible being present.

The Party feels that if you spend the next few days reading the "Huffington Post" that will serve nicely as contrition and to assauge any potential misgivings We have about you.

Thank you for your kind cooperation,
Proletarian Robot
The Cube's Self Appointed Inquisitor.

By all means go to dear Arianna Huffington for comfort. She was memorably described as "The face that lunched a thousand shits."

Kind and Generous leader, I too did not levitate an inch, nor did my Remy Martin XO refill it's self. I thought to myself it's just not fair.

For a brief moment I did feel a tingling, but it was just cat I call “Fluffy” marking his territory and I was in his line of fire. Bad Fluffy Bad!!! (Pardon me) where was I, oh yes.

“I consider myself a made Progressive” I made my bones, by beating Rethugkkkans, and blindly following useless low I.Q. trash great leaders like Nansky and Klinton. I was so despondent I took some what I routinely give my Psychotic GoonsHighly train Troopers, a cocktail of Ketamine hydrochloride, carisoprodol and Beano. I ended up drooling and staggering like Ted Kennedy after a Friday Night bender. I can not do this again or I could end up like Keith Olbermann, very few teeth and urinating outdoors.

I am very disappointed, I have not even seen the O' messiah turn water in to wine, or even walk on water.

Red Star
Director of Kicking doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma cutter,
and other tools.
Defender of the faith

Red Star wrote:

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]I am very disappointed, I have not even seen the O' messiah turn water in to wine, or even walk on water.
[/HIGHLIGHT]

Comrade Red Star,

You must continually strive to stay completely up to date and current as to set an example for Obama's Lemmings faithful followers.

According to the Current Truth^TMObama Walked across the Reflecting Pool in Washington DC and received his crown. The Whine came from the low life scum republican tax payers when they got the bill for the Inagauration as well as a glimpse of his new proposed income tax increases without so much as getting a reach-around in return.

As per usual Wikipedia is making all the historical adjustments.

Sorry duplicate entry.

Red Star wrote:Perhaps we could go steal borrow Pupovich's ZIL. Leave a piece of crap 1973 Chevy Vega in its place. Would this cheer you up?

Did you really presume to imagine that I would not see this comrade? The sheer audacity of some less equals these days..... Needless to say, as usual, I am keeping my eyes on you comrade.

<center><img src="https://people.delphiforums.com/a1sickpupe/keeping eye on you.gif"></center>

Commissar Theocritus, while I could point out all your valid points, and the numerous failures, I will only mention one. Where is the progressive whine? You call that missive of yours a whine? Far too well thought out and reasonable.

However, the failure is not in you other than your failed theology. Apparently you are one of those "pre-rapture" folks. Are you even aware that the word "rapture" can not even be found in the People's Progressive Bible. Rupture, yes, not rapture. A common mistake. As one who is firmly trained and inspired in such matters, such as I, would tell you that before we are elevated into Progressive Paradise where we will actually be in the presence of the Trinity, Marx, Lenin, and Stalin, the Obama will first lead the world for 1,000 days of Peace. Then comes the judgment Commissar.... the judgment.

Perhaps I will get into the theology at a later time. BTW, did you know that I am also known as the Right Righteous Pastor Pup?

Pupovich, I did not know that you were the Right Righteous Pastor Pup. Did you get your degree in theology from Parson James Earl Carter? As far as righteousness goes, he just about takes the cake.

Red Star, I still think that there is something amiss. After all we have done to advance the cause of perfect equality, bearing in mind of course that some are more equal than others, we really ought to have been raptured. And Pupovich, I have just added rapture to the Progressive Dictionary. After all, did you not feel rapture when at the Rancho Our Many Titted Empress took off all her clothes and did a belly dance?

"Come with me, Marshal," she crooned, "Come with me and we'll make beautiful Socialist music together."

I would very much have liked to see what happened but that was, as you may remember, the time that Bruno started projectile vomiting so severe that it set off the smoke alarms. I know that such is your dedication that you would have given you all, and you bet your sweet ass it would have been your all, to pleasure our Many Titted Empress.

Robot, I do understand the physical manifestations of His O'liness as he becomes incarnate from time to time, generally to sign executive orders that he hasn't read. It is not for us, mere lowly socialists, to understand the workings of Higher Socialism and Perfect Progressivism. All we can do is aspire to Unlimited Grievances, Advanced Socialism, and Perfect Equality, and we do it, one lifted wallet at a time, one curtailed freedom at a time, and one coat hanger at a time.

I am somewhat confused. Here I have read that several of you no doubt loyal members of The Party's inner circle... PAY TAXES?!? Comrades, have you not set yourselves up as tax exempt foundations? Do you not heed the words of Commissar of Finance Gecko Geithner who said "Paying taxes is for wimps"? Did you not learn from Frau Kerry (Name deleted by Party order) who paid a lower tax rate than a college kid working at The Gap?

Pay taxes? That's for losers (aka Republicans).

Hey, after all, SOMEBODY'S gotta pay for that uh, how many trillion is it now that Beloved Leader plans to spend? I'm thinking that by this time next week, he will have committed to spend twice the annual GDP.

Commissar M, the most important thing is to spend as much of OPM as possible. It makes a body feel really really good to spend money for what you want and make other people cough it up.

Why I recall when I was at college, which had a college system. We had an annual tax of $90 ($450 today) which the college got--to use as it wanted. I was then a Rethuglican and I went to a Cabinet meeting, saying I wanted my money back.

"Look what we do with it."

"I don't want any of it. I want to do it myself."

"But we couldn't do it without the fees."

"You give me nothing of value. I can do it better myself. I want to make my own decisions."

"But..."

I blush, comrades, to think that I actually wanted to <i>think for myself</i>. How could I have been a good Progressive? But I wasn't. That was before I saw the light on the road to Detroit where a Union Boss appeared to me and I was struck blind. But now I'm a good Progressive and want all OPM.

Commissar, as it happens, Brother Jimmy and I were ordained from the Woody Guthrie Seminary for Socialist Salvation, thought I was in a class behind him. However, Brother Jimmy did take me under his wing if you will. Oh how I miss those days. I guess you did not know that we were both fortunate enough to have been schooled by the Rev. Woody Guthrie before he passed on to that Great Collective in the ,,,somewhere.

I think it is wise that we do indeed add "rapture" to the People's Bible. After all, rapture has more than one meaning. It can mean "ecstasy" such as the tingling down one's legs such as Matthew's experience when he sees or hears the Obama, or as you mentioned, the MTE experience you mentioned. Rapture can also mean "a carrying away" in the sense of from one location to another. And if there is anything we are good at, it is the way we can carry away one man's goods for our selves. Lenin only knows how much the Chairman has raptured over the years. You have apparently done quite well yourself.


Commissar M.... Do you have a problem paying taxes?Just because we are in the Inner Circle does not make us less patriotic than any one else does it? It merely makes us less vulnerable to the loss, since we can find ways to elude the paying or make it up with OPM.

Yes, Pupovich, being a Made Progressive means never having to say you're broke--because there's always OPM. When others are scrimping and saving, we Made Progressives just up the taxes or crank up the printing presses. Just because increased taxes stifle economic development and lots of government money printing dilutes the money supply doesn't mean that we can't use the money to get that Bentley that we want. Or that nice home in Malibu.

I personally like running the printing presses. That way we get to tax savers and pay back our loans with cheaper money. How Progressive.

Commissar M of course we pay taxes!!! Just not in "Cash" Example I donated to the Church of Saint Alphonso (Patron saint of Home appliances) they gave me a blank receipt I filled it out for $72,591.22.

Further in my charitable donations I donated works of art, Like Dogs playing cards, a master piece, or the Velvet paintings of Elvis, also master pieces.

So you see we all must do our part, our duty to help fund His "O" Ness

MTE and Billy Bob donated worn out underwear as a tax write off, How kind of them.


Remember in the world of Next Tuesday, others must give until it hurts...Just not members of the inner circle.

Yes, Red Star, yes, we must give until it hurts. But then that does not specify <i>whom</i> it hurts. A Made Progressive is always ready, with a tear of compassion in his eye but a brave angle to his jaw, take any amount of money from other people, just to effect the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

Look at the Holy Gore. His actual charitable contributions are slight but what he gives for the world! He flies everywhere, and only insists that the limousine be kept running while he's speaking lest he be uncomfortable. He buys a yacht to run on biodiesel, which cannot be had on the lake it's resting in. And he encourages us not to travel or to use hybrids, for quoth Gore: the internal-combustion engine is the biggest threat in the modern world. Of course that doesn't apply to his Escalade.

And all of this work he does, giving speeches, flying around the world, completely selfless. Because he knows that he looks like an absolute wanker and utter fool and still he does it.

He gives until it hurts. Us.

Red Star wrote:Perhaps we could go steal borrow Pupovich's ZIL. Leave a piece of crap 1973 Chevy Vega in its place. Would this cheer you up?

Did you really presume to imagine that I would not see this comrade? The sheer audacity of some less equals these days..... Needless to say, as usual, I am keeping my eyes on you comrade.

<center><img src="https://people.delphiforums.com/a1sickpupe/keeping eye on you.gif"></center>


Ahhhh Pupovich Dear old friend hows the new car? Remember if you think you hate it now wait till you drive it!!!

Vodkavich's raiders (what we like to call them) did a tremendous job washing and cleaning your ZIL, unfortunately, I must report your car was stolen. You must understand bands of car thieves, go around stealing cars, and then change V.I.N. Numbers. so the chance of us recovering it is nil.

We are officially blaming your cars disappearance on Bush and ebil Rethugkkkans.

Actually I blame it on the Jenna Bush crime league. You recall that she was caught with a fake ID getting a drink in Austin, and the Progressive establishment turned her in. She was actually there as capo di capo of the Bush Crime Family, planning the New World Order (the first one, not the one we are about to enter), but the Feds forgot to get a wiretapping order and so couldn't use the tape of how she had instructed Janet Reno to murder those people at Waco. Such a precocious child! Not even a teenager.

So all they could get her on was one silly little drink.

Not to worry Comrade Red Star, the Zil is only used by the help for grocery shopping etc. I have my preferred transportation....

<center><img src="https://members.cox.net/1sickpup/bikerdog.gif"></center>

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Do not, however, wait for Keith Olbermann to explain things to you for he is currently on an Ativan drip to stop the seizures.

Comrade Theo, you are proof that wisdom comes with age. Here's Keith's latest comment, courtesy of Frank J:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/LuiD9eRisOg&h ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Well, not SO new, but still quite relevant.

Herr Olbermann has returned, I am told, to sports casting and sits between two other people who are talking about what is happening on the field. I don't get it but then I wouldn't.

Olbermann says something, and the two talk right over his head.

I fully expect that Olbermann will have to go into rehab for Hate Bush Orgasm-withdrawal. Perhaps a 12-step program.

On rising, Keith sees a pimple. Instead of screaming, "It's Bush's fault!" he takes a deep breath and shoots some crack. This is the first step in the drying-out process.