Citing disloyalty to the party, Dear Leader Comrade President Obama denounced Bob Woodward as an enemy of the people and banished him to Chicago for his public criticism of Comrade President's policies.

"Bad things happen there, especially on the front lines in the war against the GOP," stated a Party representative. "Mr. Woodward may get accidentally trampled by an elephant."

The Party would like to remind other journalists that there's still plenty of room in Chicago should anyone else dare criticize Comrade Obama and think non-party thoughts. "Bad things can happen to them too," said a high-ranking White House official, who wished to remain anonymous.

It is reported that the People's Department of Agitation and Unanimity has sent several truckloads of shovels to Chicago in anticipation of more arriving journalists.

Comrade Brainiac,

While it is true that bad things do indeed happen in shitcago, the giant wookie moochelle and her food police followers have made sure that most of the reactionary rethuglikkkans have been disposed of years ago through her countless purges. I have an old photo of her on patrol with her inner circle.....

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Since then her powers have been sought out by the downtrodden all over the USSSA to help get rid of the rethuglikkkans. Bearing that in mind, I have heard tell that the "mooche" has recomended to send woodwards red white and blue behind to Detroitistan where the ever peaceful muslims will show him a good and propper "muslim" welcome in our most glorious example of multiculturism to date in all of the 57 states.....

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Comrade Mikhoels didn't understand the importance of adjusting to party line. He obviously thought that his contributions to our socialist society protects him from vehicular justice. Does Comrade Woodward thinks that he is better than Comrade Mikhoels?