Dear Leader is Dead!

No, comrades, no. Thankfully it wasn't the Obamessiah. Still, I regret to report that renown People's Leader Kim Jong Il has left us for that great People's Paradise in the sky:

Quote:

Seoul put South Korean forces on high alert and Pyongyang urged an increase in its "military capability" as the death of North Korea's enigmatic leader Kim Jong Il spurred fresh security concerns in the tense region. A tearful state TV broadcaster reported Kim's death Monday. She said the 69-year-old leader died Saturday due to "overwork" while "dedicating his life to the people."
North Korea's official KCNA news agency said Kim suffered "great mental and physical strain" while on a train. Kim, who had been treated for "cardiac and cerebrovascular diseases for a long period," suffered a heart attack on Saturday and couldn't be saved despite the use of "every possible first-aid measure," according to the agency.
In the country where Kim was revered as "dear leader," passers-by wept uncontrollably on the streets of Pyongyang.
"My leader, what will we do? It's too much! It's too much!" one person sobbed on state television. "Leader, please come back. ... You cannot leave us. We will always wait for you, leader."


*Sniff* Dear Leader, what shall we do without your steadfast wisdom and courage to anchor us, and your People's Paradise to give us something to aspire to? Truly, today is a sad day to be a progressive.



Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Rot in hell, you fat bastard!
 

When word first came to our collective that Commissar Kim (PBUH) had "bought the farm", there was initially Great Celebration! Now we The People would have another Collective Beet Farm!

But then the phrase was explained to us, and now there is Universal Celebration General Indifference Great Sorrow in our Collective. In fact, we are already planning a week-long wake - Break Out The Beet Vodka! (not that cheap potato stuff...)
 

And the Oscar goes to.....
 

Now we have Kim Jong Un ........ The " Un " Dear Leader ?
 

<off> title teaser.
 

I know what you mean, Tovarichi.......

I'm think'n like " Oh sure, get my hopes up before Christmas !"

Then again, maybe I set myself up with some sort of expectation because, as of late, I've been imaging scenarios of how Hillary will make herself the Democrat nominee next year.

Not that she'd ever do anything like that, of course. Just ask Vince Foster........
 

Oh, you arr have aroused my righteous anger! I sharr have you arr shot! Who is going around saying I died of heart attack! I am stirr arive and kicking! I wirr show you who's boss by firing a test missire from east coast.

My son Kim Jong Un is my faithfur sidekick and I am grooming him for assuming responsibirities when I finarry decide to retire. But that not going to be for a rong time.

Meanwhire, the rapdog Mainstream Media wirr be expected to continue heaping pires of growing praise upon me and my iron-fisted reign of terror enrightened readership of Grorious Demokratik Peopre's Repubrik of Korea. Best rickspittre journarist wirr receive my new DPRK award for best journarism - THE DPRK WALTER DURANTY AWARD FOR BEST REPORTING ™

Stirr Kickin' It With My Homeys,

Kim Jong Irrin'
 

Comrades, it disturbs me deeply to say that our bought and paid for dear friend fully co-opted and once Presidential candidate, Senator John McCain, stated that he thinks our former friend to the end, Kim Jong Il, is now "in a warm corner of hell".

WE know that there is no such thing as hell - or heaven, for that matter, except under Dear Leader, The One - but what about the Clingers? What will they think? It will be so confusing to them to hear their stalwart Republican Conservative War Hero stating that dear leader (not to be confused with Dear Leader) is, in fact, in hell.

What are we to do?
 

R.O.C.K. in the USSA

...Senator John McCain, stated that he thinks our former friend to the end, Kim Jong Il, is now "in a warm corner of hell".

...dear leader (not to be confused with Dear Leader) is, in fact, in hell.

What are we to do?





forward his mail.



We shall debate the specifics after a mandated period of mourning, complete with wailing, and public displays of agony as if the Bush Tax Cuts were renewed or we had announced a "Surge" in Afghanistan... Then we'll grill up some household pets Ke-Go-Gi in honor of Dear Leader (the short one).
 

Having once been married to a Korean woman, I shall eat some kim-chi at my earliest possible convenience.

It is a great sadness to lose one so - so - small and fashionable!
 

Perhaps the reason for the North Koreans were weeping so bitterly is they had to find a new place in a new food line. Having to wait for over a week with no food can make one emotionally distraught!

They will have to exchange their old ration books for new ones that will contain less.

Or maybe they found out that Santa will skip their country this year!
 

 

ROCK, reverently enjoy the most appropriate honoring by serving of Kim-Chee, but do all of us a favor, stay downwind, and then avoid heavy exercise for about three days. Khamsamnida, and bon appetit
 

General Confusion

Perhaps the reason for the North Koreans were weeping so bitterly is they had to find a new place in a new food line. Having to wait for over a week with no food can make one emotionally distraught!

They will have to exchange their old ration books for new ones that will contain less.

Or maybe they found out that Santa will skip their country this year!

New food rine? The new food rine is queueing up in the nationar capitor of Pyongyang. It's right outside my ornate mausoreum. C'mon, get in rine for a chunk of Dear Reader and choke down a gobbet of me with rice wine! Yummy!

Ain't none of that SOYRENT GREEN TOFU ™ crap here! Genuine Dear Reader - tastes rike pork! Yes yes! Just think, Kommunist Transubstantiation for the masses!
 

Kim Jong Illin'

Ain't none of that SOYRENT GREEN TOFU ™ crap here! Genuine Dear Reader - tastes rike pork! Yes yes! Just think, Kommunist Transubstantiation for the masses!

Only three days and I am hungry again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMd0BkUVl_0&feature=share
 

Father Prog Theocritus,


I take issue with you on this thread for taking issue with me, on another thread, about my making such a stink about Karen Lewis. You deemed her unworthy of such a stink.


Well, Father Prog, take a look at this! I see a pattern here! Hmmmm? A visual one.








Is this just a glorious coincidence, or what?


http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/ ... FX20111221


North Korea's collective leadership will include Kim Jong-un, his uncle and the military, the source said.
Jang Song-thaek, 65, brother-in-law of Kim Jong-il and the younger Kim's uncle, is seen as the power behind the throne along with his wife Kim Kyong-hui, Kim Jong-il's sister. So too is Ri Yong-ho, the rising star of the North's military and currently its most senior general.Karen Lewis is Kim Jong-un's uncle...IN DRAG! HA! I knew I was on to something!
 

I have already denounced myself for the capitalist jingle thoughtcrime & have ordered a SpiffyJiffyDoubleLOBO ™ for next Tuesday.
 

Be sure to ask them about their " Super Holiday Hot Brainwash N' Wax Special ".
Five bucks off !
 

Comrades, I do so worry about the succession of totalitarian dictatorship and autocracy in North Korea on the passing of Dear Leader. Not to be confused with Dear Oleader.

But think of the difficulties. One of his sons had gone to and enjoyed Disneyworld, and the other one is a soulmate for Bruno. So that leaves only the young Un.

Ah, and with the succession in Syria. What about Libya?

Life is getting really hard for dictators, you know. We need a dictators' union. Let's have Trumpka lead it. Andy Stern? But dictators all over the world are being endangered and we cannot have that.
 

Father Prog Theocritus

Ah, and with the succession in Syria. What about Libya?


Our minion Bernard Henry Levy (Bitch from hell), has it all under control !
He is almost as beloved as the holieO within the mohammedan rank and file.

 

Gulag 4 Alfred

And the Oscar goes to.....

I can't tell if they're sincere or are crying because they are forced to.

I suppose they genuinely are crying because force would imply they know any other political system.
 

[ off ]They're forced to but also their houses have speakers which constantly announce things like, "Dear Leader has hit four holes in one on the golf course today!"
 

I want to be the first to console our dear friend Mugabe on the sad passing straight to hell of many of his ruthless friends in 2011. Cherish the memories but carry on, your people need you more than ever.




Comrades, ask yourself - have you sufficiently mourned over Dear Leaders passing to the great collective? Well have you?

http://www.myfoxchicago.com/dpps/news/i ... o_16978708