Democrat Party Modifies Official Salute

Dear Comrades,

Today, the Central Committee of the Democratic Socialist Party of the USSA announced that, under the direction of Comrade Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama, the Party’s official salute will be with the right hand, holding a cup of REDSTARbucks Coffee.

As the official coffee provider of the State, REDSTARbucks has long supported the policies of the Party and kept the Workers and Peasants sufficiently caffeinated, even after long nights of using their mandatory cannabis rations and consuming beet vodka, to continue their labor in the State economy and provide for the millions of dependent minority groups that populate our glorious land.


When a loyal citizen walks the streets of the USSA carrying a REDSTARbucks cup, she shows that she is not only saving the environment by walking, but also contributing towards the common good of the Proletariat by patronizing State assistance providers such as REDSTARbucks.

In gratitude for the State’s recognition of its struggle for Progressivism, the General Director REDSTARbucks has announced that it will soon institute a Coffee Recycling Program in all of its stores. Used coffee will be collected and reprocessed for general consumption by the masses, yearning to break free of their hangovers and other serious medical conditions.

Salute with your REDSTARbucks coffee, and show your Party loyalty! Drink the People’s Coffee: REDSTARbucks!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator
 

Comrade NC:

When the state approved coffee recycling collectors are installed in the bathrooms of all the stores to reprocess the used coffee, will this used coffee then come in only one flavor??
 

Who needs more than one flavor? REDSTARbucks only has one flavor anyhow. Like the Party. The rest is just whipped soy cream so you won't notice...
 

Comrade NC:

REDSTARbucks coffee house propaganda has been present for a while. Nice to see dear leader building on an already laid and solid foundation.....

 

We already had renewable light beer introduced by Comrade Algore. Will recycled coffee also be light?


 

I'm going to buy some elections in order to get those planet killing paper cups banned. You'll have to drink your sawdust-based Victory cappuccinos from reusable grocery bags. Don't forget to bring your Redstarbucks coffee bag or you'll have to cup your hands.

Salute.
 

 

 

The democrat party actually has quite a variety of salutes:




 

Comrades! This is disaster!

How could our excellent and most Dear Liar dare use Styrofoam cups when they are so damaging to mother Gaia!

Here he is on his way to save the planet for the wonderful world of next Tuesday™ from the ravages of Free enterprise (spit) and he is sending the wrong message to all the writhing dumb masses about the proper use of drink ware.

This sets terrible example to all of our fellow traveler comrades fighting to save mother earth from the ruin of liberty and freedom.

We cannot just let people do as they wish and live their lives in freedom comrades. They must be properly controlled so that we have the power to direct their collective wishs into the proper Marx worshiping channels.

If we let the people do as they wish, they might go and stumble over truth and learn that we've lies to them all these years about Global Cooling .... Global Warming ... Climate Change ... Climate Disruption! That's the ticket!!!

He might as well have saluted using extra large soda or other planet damaging edifices.

… not to mention that he improperly ‘saluted’ those two war mongering marines who’s only wish is to die for nothing in a useless mission to 'fight' Ebola…

[Alas, I must now denounce myself for using so much text and carbon footieprint fonts and colors]
 

Dear leader "found" this offensive Styrofoam container on what aircraft? Marine One.
Who is he asking if they left it on the aircraft? The Marines.

It is of course in his right hand because Dear Leader leads with his left hand.

They should be grateful he doesn't salute with his left hand, in a flagrant act of disrespect and who would do such a thing?

Then again, "At this point, what difference does it make?"
 

Comrade Sterpin:

Obama supports my right to an abortion anytime I want one. He gives me free stuff. He cares. Ergo, he’s entitled to use a Styrofoam cup.

You, on the other hand, are entitled to meet the business end of my shovel.

WHACK!!!

It is obvious from your post that you are a racist and a hater thinking you can turn this into another one of those phony scandals in hopes of distracting people from more important issues—like the imminent end of the world if we don’t resolve to take action now to address the increasing pressure to raise awareness of the need to call attention to the fact that that we must do something to demand the world’s leaders come together and discuss the necessity of agreeing to find solutions to the questions being asked on how to start working now to reverse the effects of climate change before it’s too late!

You disgust me.
 

Commissarka Pinkie is our Hero! (So glad she is hitting someone else this time)
 

Great photoshop job Nomenklatura-climber. It really looks like the President of the United States, aka The Commander-In-Chief, is holding a coffee cup while saluting a Marine who has sworn an oath to protect him with his own life. (prog off) The problem is that sometimes on this site we tend to "take it to far" and make stuff in Photoshop that simply would never happen in real life. I mean come on, do you really think a President would ever REALLY do this? Nice photoshop job but I mean come on Nomenklatura-climber, lets keep it on planet earth here.
 

Ow! [But well deserved..]

You are correct comrade!

We must:

Commissarka Pinkie

Take action now to address the increasing pressure to raise awareness of the need to call attention to the fact that that we must do something to demand the world’s leaders come together and discuss the necessity of agreeing to find solutions to the questions being asked on how to start working now to reverse the effects of climate change before it’s too late!
.
 

Live update from our D.C. correspondent re: Red Star Latte

Was just sipping a coffee at Pret and reading your Cube item about POTUS's Red Star coffee salute. Then I noticed that Pret offers exactly the right paper label and plastic lid. Just 4 blocks from the White House.

- Mike

 

Dems are now equating these pictures. Apparently, Obama owns a pet Styrofoam cup.



Based on a General Secretary's Tweet on the Cube Twitter account (119 retweets).

His other Tweet says:

OUTRAGE as Styrofoam cup exits Marine One with useless accessory in tow
 

Red Square

Dems are now equating these pictures. Apparently, Obama owns a pet Styrofoam cup.

Obama_Pet_Styrofoam_cup.jpg
Based on a General Secretary's Tweet on the Cube Twitter account (119 retweets).

His other Tweet says:

OUTRAGE as Styrofoam cup exits Marine One with useless accessory in tow
It is not that Dear Leader needs to salute, but Dear Leader's cup salutes for him. Oh and dog is waving towards camera. Onwards!!!!
 

Comrades, I’ll have you know that picture of Bush is FAKE! Everyone knows Republicans don’t hold their dogs except to strangle them. Otherwise they just kick them or strap them to the front grills of their SUVs or in Romney’s case, the top of the family station wagon.
 

ok, New Comrades, listen up... Sterpin took one for the Kollective. The rest of you scatter and keep a safe distance.

Why if it isn't Commisarka Pinkie! As I live and breathe, I trust your absence was needed, and productive. Welcome back.

I haven't seen the Commodore in a while, and come to think of it, I haven't seen your rations of beets or vodka, and it does seem to be an odd coincidence... just sayin'.

Will you be around again for a while, or can must we arrange for travel for you soon to manage all of the important stuff you need to do elsewhere?
 

The collective yearns for the Glorious return of Commissarka Pinkie like it yearns another good race riot as of the Golden age of Progdom.