With the election coming up this Fall I want you to know the Democrat Party and I are working overtime for you, the average American. There's never been a better time to be an American. I've worked hard to build our economy back up from where it was after my disastrous predecessor. It's morning in America again!

We've done great things together. For the election we're trying to give every American good reason to vote democrat. You may have heard the great news about my new student loan bailout program. Everyone is talking about how great it is that we've offered our young folx a good reason to mark their ballots democrat this Fall. Free money is freedom and freedom is a very American thing.

And this brings me to you and the reason I wanted to write you.

I understand that a lot of people are upset about my new student loan program. It isn't fair is what they say.

Well, I have good news!

I've been alive for a long time. I've always been a keen student of human nature. I know everyone has their price. I have my price, the people down the street have their price, the Iranians have their price, my son has his price and, just like everyone else in the world, YOU my fellow American have your price.

It's the way the world works. Everybody's a sell out. 

Americans are angry about my new program and I see your point. Now that we've bought the young adult vote you're angry that you aren't getting in on the action.

What about me? I want some sugar too. That's what you're telling me.

I hear you loud and clear.

Money talks. Everybody's in it for themselves.

Well, the devil is in the details.

Everything's up for grabs this election. Don't get mad get even! Fair is fair. Please tell us your price. In dollars.

You can be part of a government bailout program too.

Everybody's got their price. What's yours?