Felony charges for abandoning innocent bacon

Vandal who left bacon inside mosque gets 15 years in prison

Three pounds of innocent bacon. Abandoned. Left to mold and rot, never to be fried, baked or turned into smoky, yummy goodness.

One man has been arrested and charged with a felony for leaving innocent helpless bacon at a mosque, where it will never be appreciated. Three pounds of potential club-sandwiches, or bacon-cheeseburgers will never grow up.

Prevent future abandonment abuses. Bring home the bacon. Give it a chance. Do it for the bacon.™
 

5 years per pound seems adequate. See, 'The People's Math' works!
 

While the killer of Kathryn Steinle walks free in Cali.

Seems fair to me, but what do I know?
 

.

 

All capitalist pigs should be turned into bacon!

(unless you live in Europe, because bacon is not Halal)

Onwards!
 

Roger Waters was on the side of the Religion of No Bacon since he wrote this song in 1977.



Big man, pig man
Ha, ha, charade you are
You well heeled big wheel
Ha, ha, charade you are
And when your hand is on your heart
You're nearly a good laugh
Almost a joker
With your head down in the pig bin
Saying 'Keep on digging'
Pig stain on your fat chin
What do you hope to find
Down in the pig mine?
You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh
But you're really a cry
 

Putin_on_the_Ritz

5 years per pound seems adequate. See, 'The People's Math' works!

Common law is based on precedence, meaning that prior judgments are used to rule on cases with similar circumstances. It is also known as judge-made law because a judge's ruling will sometimes form new laws.

This case clearly establishes that 1 lb of bacon will warrant 5 years in future cases.

Accordingly, bringing a whole 150 lb pig to a mosque will be punishable by 170 years in jail.

And conversely, bringing one 1 oz bacon = 0.3125 years, or 14.5 weeks in jail.

That means a regular 12 oz package of hickory smoked bacon will grant you 3.75 years.


 

How much for Canadian bacon?
 

Long story in short:


but then ― uh-oh!




... and finale? outrage!


 

 

RedDiaperette

How much for Canadian bacon?
Currently 3 pounds of Canadian Bacon warrants you 2.32 years in jail, or .777 years per pound.
 

The People's Pork B-AK47.


 

What happened to

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."


 

At last justice is to be had in America. In other news, still no charges for Somali policeman, Mohamed Noor for shooting that uppity, unarmed white Australian lady (Justine Damond | née Ruszczyk) in front of her fiance and son.

The Mayor of Minneapolis fast-tracked Noor onto the police force to make sure that they had diversity.

It's good to see cultural enrichment is working.
 

Are these diversity bollards bacon-fortified? If so, they may be provide extra protection, but the ones who did it may go to jail, to each according to their ounces.