Laika the Space Dog: 60th Anniversary Celebration

Dear Laika The Space Dog, Friend of the People,

I await your signal through my tinfoil hat giving the people instructions of how we are to celebrate the 60th anniversary of your flight into space on November 3, 1957, showing the world the superiority of the Soviet system over the Kapitalistic running dogs (no offense intended).

Will there be new visual propaganda? New clothing for the proletariat? Double rations of beet vodka? We await your signal.
 

Comrade Brezhnev

... new visual propaganda [for Dear Laika The Space Dog, Friend of the People] ? ...
Jawohl!
Predawn, KI¹ D314159 obediently reports in B47² to fulfill 250% norm in Laika Prazdnik Katorga³.

¹ KI: Kubic Inmate.
² B47: Barrack 47, for today declared the Laika Celebratory Barrack.
³ Laika Prazdnik Katorga: Laika Day Celebratory Slog.


Komrades, let's recall zhis :




And here's the point: Die Kosmonautin / Der Kosmonaut !
Zhe Cherman lingual sexism of the era bygone! (2013!).

I vill fight for a revision of this glorious Ode to Laika, to annihilate its sexistic macroaggression of cosmic magnitude. It must be done, via the EUSSR-Zyentrala in Dar al-Brusseliyah, and further via UNESCO (with guidance by Doktor His Excellency Comrade Life President Marshalissimus Mugabe).

The 250% idea: Die Kosmonautin / Der Kosmonaut out, Kosmonaut-Person in!
I mean, Zhe Kosmonaut-Person.

Ah, wait! Komrade - you hear Komrades Rodent, Meow, Ursa, ... bawl, chirp, growl too?
Of course, speciesism must also be squashed!

Not Zhe Kosmonaut-Person, Zhe Kosmonaut-Kollektiv-Person it will be!
(de) Kollektiv / (en) Kollektive ― of course, with full speciesist inclusivity!
 

Genosse Dummkopf

Ah, wait! Komrade - you hear Komrades Rodent, Meow, Ursa, ... bawl, chirp, growl too?
Of course, speciesism must also be squashed!

All the same to me, Genosse. I just do my duty and put them up there as the Party requests!

- SK
 

Chief Designer

I just do my duty and put them up there as the Party requests!

- SK

One step ahead of you all ...



I also agree that German is a sexist language and should be banned. “Die Katze”? Did the entire German speaking peoples just assume my gender?
 

Chairman Meow

... I also agree that German is a sexist language and should be banned. “Die Katze”? ...
But, in defense of zhe language of zhat Nazi¹ people, das Kätzchen, zhe kitten / zhe kitty.


¹ Nazi, as long as zhey haff no victorious system imposed on, I mean, given to zhem, like zhis doppelganger:





P.S. On second thought...

Those Goths-Teutons-Vandals happen to use das Kätzchen for zhe you-know-what.
Wait, das? For zhe most glorious die??

And it gets only worse ― der Biber, der Bär, ... der? der?? der???

And on zhe ozher hand, die Morgenlatte ― she morning wood! she!!!


And remember what zhey do to Math!
No, no hope for a most equal non-oppressive gender-inclusive shift in zhat teuto-lingo-galimatias.




 

 

Laika, of course, has her own page where she can answer questions from authorized tinfoil hat holders.

Laika's Page

 

Laika in history:













Laika Medals:



And our Laika T-shirts in State Store #86




 

... plus: Laika is the Earth-side link in covert Mars operations, sponsored - yes, Komrade, korrekt guess! - by Motherland.

 

I just saw it on the news. According to CNN, Laika has suspended her regular transmissions of the Current Truth to avoid being subpoenaed by Mueller. She decided it's better to lay low for a while in disguise until the Russian collusion scandal goes away. She can't have her name tarnished by allegations of promoting Trump when she has always been the People's Dog fighting for international progdom.

Laika in disguise (Reuters photo archive).


 

Chairman Meow

One step ahead of you all ...



Alternative photo of Laika in disguise. The best part is, even she doesn't remember which one is real. She is good at shaking off her tail like that. Mueller will never sniff her out.
 

If I am reading the medal-based hieroglyphics correctly, the Rodina plans to raise corn on Mars a la the vaunted Virgin Lands program.

Is Khrushchev being rehabilitated in Party history?
 

Ivan Betinov

If I am reading the medal-based hieroglyphics correctly, the Rodina plans to raise corn on Mars a la the vaunted Virgin Lands program. ...
In view of Laika's (psst! Mueller!) Mars-involvement, and from a jar's perspective, you are absolutely korrekt, Komrade Betinov.




From Red October (sorry, already Red November) perspective, it reads (Ukrainian → Russian):

ЗНАТНЫЙ КУКУРУЗОВОД УКРАИНЫ - Ukraine's Distinguished Cultivator of Kukuruza (= Corn).

Ivan Betinov

Is Khrushchev being rehabilitated in Party history?
Absolutely true, Komrade Betinov.

The Annals of History, Tome 1960, remember him as Shoe-Banging Nikita.
While in the same Tome, Chapter Eastern Bloc, Nikita is immortalized as:

ВЕДУЩИЙ КУКРУЗОВОДЯЩИЙ УКРАИНЕЦ - Leading Kukuruza-Cultivating Ukrainian.
(think: Führer of Kukuruza.)

(As you know, Nikita was an Ukrainyets. That's why he happily did the 1954 Crimea rochade.)



P.S. Viva AI, Artificial Intelligence!
Komrades, you wouldn't believe what Google Translator does with that ЗНАТНЫЙ.. !
 

Red Square

... According to CNN, Laika has suspended her regular transmissions of the Current Truth to avoid being subpoenaed by Mueller. ...

 

According to my inside sources, it was Laika who beamed the "Trump Dossier" to the DNC, and has telepathically persuaded Hillary and the U.S. media to keep the collusion story going.

And BuzzFeed has just reported Laika is also responsible for organizing a massive anti-Trump march in New York:

Thousands Of New Yorkers Took To The Streets In Anti-Trump March Promoted By Laika the Space Dog

With or without social media, as long as you keep your tinfoil hat on, you will continue to receive transmissions from Laika the Space Dog.


 

Is it okay to wear a Laika halloween costume or is that cultural appropriation?