FLAT FLOTUS Contest: Choose Background for the First Lady

Get ready for a contest! That's right - in addition to Flat Gareth, Flat Fatima, Flat Floozy, and other popular cardboard cutouts of yore, we have created Flat Flotus - extracted from a glorious picture of Lady Mo wielding a mean shovel.



The toiling Photoshopping masses have now acquired a new great tool in their arsenal. Now anyone with minimal skills in graphic editing can create compelling images of Flat Flotus on meaningful backgrounds, thus helping the media to deliver the Current Truth about our First Lady to the credulous public.

IOTW is already running a complementary contest. We'll cross-post their entries below.

Grassroots activism has just entered a new era! You think the public perusing of Sarah Palin's emails was a massive effort? Wait till you see the upcoming Flat Flotus gallery!

And as you rev up your 'puters preparing for the 'shopping spree, keep in mind the true meaning of the shovel in her hands, as defined in the People's Glossary:

Quote:

Shovel

A symbol of suffering and sacrifice for The Greater Good™. Used in hard labor therapy or in self-criticism sessions to redeem potential thought crimes. Every citizen must keep his or her shovel in good repair at all times and bring it to the railroad station if called to duty by the Commissar. The shovel is an important part of Earth Day festival, or Sacrificial Earth Shoveling Day, celebrating the death and rebirth of Great Lenin.
 

Ivan Betinov

... Seen here posing with the heirloom shovel of their ancestors, FLATUS Obama recently acknowledged...
Just like the heirloom shovel itself, the very art of martial shovel-wielding is a skill passed in her family from generation to generation. Did you notice the "eagle-claw" grip she is using on this one? Only Barack may know the full extent of her gripping techniques. But I digess...

Here are some pictures of Michelle's ancestors.

A creature that looked just like FLOTUS used to be a feared fighting machine in the Persian army, killing many a Spartan with her battle shovel. A favorite of Xerxes, she was so formidable that putting up merely a cardboard cutout of her on the first line of the attack was enough to make the enemy run.







 

The picture of the shovel-wielding Michelle reminded me of a movie I watched recently...




Michelle's beshoveled ancestors are quite known throughout history. The first recorded sighting happened at The Tower of Babel. She insisted on fair redistribution of rations, bricks, mortar, and scaffolding throughout the entire construction site. Then the tower collapsed.

Then was the invasion of Greece, the destruction of Rome from within through massive entitlements, Attila the Hun, the Black Plague, etc...

























 

 

 

 

 

Our glorious FLOTUS was seen teaching workers to protest capitalist exploitation.
 

 

R.O.C.K. in the USSA

LooneyMichelle.jpg


 

Superkommissar Maksim

[email protected]*%#
 

Here come the iOTWers - pictures created by BigFurHat on suggestions of IOTW readers - amazingly fast on all counts!











MO digs up a new running mate for BO


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The Manure Pile

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Shovel S'Moore!
 

GLADIATOR: She is Shovel-Happy!







 

"for the children"

 

 

 

Comrade Buffoon

Moochelle Shovel ramones.jpg
Gabba Gabba Hey!
 

Mo, BO & Go!
 

 

 

A shovel a day keeps the recession at bay......
 

What? No pictures off all the obese Children™ she's trying to defend from the ravages of processed "junk food"? What about all those steaks and lobsters she's put away? Isn't it clear that by her holding this shovel with that hungry look on her face that she has evolved far beyond any need for mere forks and spoons that us average proles use on a daily basis? Yes, it is.
 

A good caption for the picture of Flat Flotus is this:

Michelle Obama

Many of us came in this expecting to see all the change we talked about to happen all at once. But the truth is, it's going to take a lot longer to dig ourselves out of this hole than any of us imagined.
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id ... _article=1
 

Wouldn't it be logical to CLIMB out of a hole rather than to dig it deeper? I know I know, I'm just not as smart as FLOTUS; never went Princeton either. So what do I know?
 

Night Of The Progs
 

 

 

Chedoh

lol
 

Are there no "suicide squeeze play bases loaded two outs bunt bottom of the ninth baseball fans" in the Cube?

It SCREAMS THIS!
 

 

I lack the technology, but the image of Her Highness Moochele in front of a mountain of French Fries or a buffet line would be appropriate, no?
 

Tovarichi

I lack the technology, but the image of Her Highness Moochele in front of a mountain of French Fries or a buffet line would be appropriate, no?
...or her confronting a buttered lobster tail.
 

For Tovarichi:



 

Laika the Space Dog

Tovarichi

I lack the technology, but the image of Her Highness Moochele in front of a mountain of French Fries or a buffet line would be appropriate, no?
...or her confronting a buttered lobster tail.

I already claim credit for that suggestion: What? No pictures off all the obese Children™ she's trying to defend from the ravages of processed "junk food"? What about all those steaks and lobsters she's put away? Isn't it clear that by her holding this shovel with that hungry look on her face that she has evolved far beyond any need for mere forks and spoons that us average proles use on a daily basis? Yes, it is.
 

 

Comrades, It's getting worse! It was bad enough that The Peoples's Intellectual Property also known as the Peoples' Great Artwork in the form of Flat FLOTUS has been pirated by tea-baggers, but now they're really gone too far by photoshopping Flat FLOTUS to create a Phlat POTUS for mocking me. It's those Tea-Partiers who claim to suppor Allen West:

---

We must do something immediately to stop this!
--Fearless Leader
 

Comrades,




We must track down the treacherous pirate of The Peoples Art who created this Phlat POTUS, which is obviously designed to mock my shoveling as being similar to my baseball-pitching: .
.




.

--Fearless Leader
 

It keeps getting worse!

.


.



--Fearless Leader
 

Should the contest be named the "Flat Floater"?
 

 

I am suprized nobody did this
one yet. The Vietnam one is my fave.
 

Czar Trek: Episode 6, “The Shysters of Triskelion.”
 

Ted State

I am suprized nobody did this The attachment kevinbacon_animalhouse.jpg is no longer availableone yet. The Vietnam one is my fave.


 

Would that be the Peoples Glove?
 

This is glorious! I can take Flat FLOTUS everywhere. Let's see.... where to go, where to go........ the gulag latrine needs a bit of .... well, maybe not. Never to worry, I will think of something suite of such a . . . . umm, . . . well, I will think of something.
 

TrojamaCare-- Loading from Behind--Everyone grab a shovel-- Flat FLOTUS and Phlat POTUS can't do it alone. . . --KOOK
 

Meanwhile, back in the USSA:









Don't know what she did with George. In fact, I don't want to ask.
 

 

 

No more nookie here!!! sez FLOTUS
 

 

 

 

 

Infidel Castrate LOVE that one! hahahahahahahahaha
 

THIS is my rifle
THIS is my shovel!
THIS is for fighting
THIS is for destroying-entire-economies-and-forcing-all-proles-to-live-in-a-hovel!
 

THIS is how little Tony Weiner was forced to quit!



 

Although Reich-Wingers may say "Barack Obama is not the best POTUS at throwing out the first pitch," I must say that my Michelle Obama as Flat FLOTUS is the best FLOTUS as a batter. Indeed, she said, "For the first time in my adult life, I'm proud of America's Past-Time (or is it PastTime or is it Pastime??)".




.




--Fearless Leader
 

OK I gotta stop now




 

 

Look the Democrats are really trying to help people out who are in prison.



 

 

OK THIS is the last one. Thought of this on the the PATCO, or as I like to call it, the Peoples Train. This one is my fave that I have done.



 

 

Neotrotsky

michelleunicorn.png

Comrade Neo,

What the HELL is that?
 

Corporeal Whinny

Neotrotsky

michelleunicorn.png

Comrade Neo,

What the HELL is that?





Comrade,


those are fine art works by an artist who supports Papa Obama and "our progressive goals"


Dan Lacey to see more of his fine work



you can't make this stuff up...


He does Faithmouse as well
 

Neotrotsky

Corporeal Whinny

Neotrotsky

michelleunicorn.png

Comrade Neo,

What the HELL is that?





Comrade,


those are fine art works by an artist who supports Papa Obama and "our progressive goals"


Dan Lacey to see more of his fine work


see the vido



http://vimeo.com/earwig/theecstasyofdanlacey


you can't make this stuff up...
OMFG!!! You're absolutely right: you CAN'T make this stuff up! See what happens when you're unemployed living down in mommy and daddy's basement in your urine-stained underwear eating junk food drinking Dr. Pepper® all day taking a break from your Halo™ game? You come up with stuff like this!
 

Comrade

very true







He does do/did Faithmouse


I suspect his paintings are more against Obama than for...







These paintings best show our Progressive Hopes and Dreams
 

 

Infidel Castrate

flotus6.jpg

This is my shovel. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My shovel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my shovel is useless. Without my shovel, I am useless. I must whack my shovel true. I must whack straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must whack him on the head before he whacks me on the head. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my shovel and myself are defenders of Communism, we are the masters of the proletariat, we and Dear Leader are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there are no rich people, but peace. A-wymmin
 

Michelle Obama, the Founding Mother.



 

Michelle is holding the shovel.... because 48" Klingon battle axe is for pussies!




 

Speaking of Klingons and the Founding Fathers - here's a bit of Klingon revisionist history - Klingons Crossing the Delaware by this guy...



 

Princess Nookie

Infidel Castrate

flotus6.jpg

This is my shovel. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My shovel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my shovel is useless. Without my shovel, I am useless. I must whack my shovel true. I must whack straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must whack him on the head before he whacks me on the head. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my shovel and myself are defenders of Communism, we are the masters of the proletariat, we and Dear Leader are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there are no rich people, but peace. A-wymmin

Brings tears to this Old Revolutionaries ™ eyes.

As to the inclusion of Private First Class Privates in my photo;

This is my Weiner. There are many others like it but this one is mine. My Weiner is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my Weiner is useless. Without my Weiner, I am useless. I must wank my Weiner true. I must wank straighter than my enemy, who is trying to wank me ...
 

Its only proper that the first lady gets to bury the imperialism .

That Obamarat killing innocent people in Libya with the WMD Nato colonial crusador agressor
 

Princess Nookie

This is my shovel. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My shovel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my shovel is useless. Without my shovel, I am useless. I must whack my shovel true. I must whack straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must whack him on the head before he whacks me on the head. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my shovel and myself are defenders of Communism, we are the masters of the proletariat, we and Dear Leader are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there are no rich people, but peace. A-wymmin

THOUGHTCRIME!!!

"God" is a bourgeois concept created by the capitalists to keep the proletariat in check.

Rewrite your post and remove God and in it's place insert 'Obama (PBUH)'

This is your first and only warning. Another 'slip' and you will be reassigned to Mining Camp No. 12. Prepare your shovel....

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
 

O'Brien

Princess Nookie

This is my shovel. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My shovel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my shovel is useless. Without my shovel, I am useless. I must whack my shovel true. I must whack straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must whack him on the head before he whacks me on the head. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my shovel and myself are defenders of Communism, we are the masters of the proletariat, we and Dear Leader are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there are no rich people, but peace. A-wymmin

THOUGHTCRIME!!!

"God" is a bourgeois concept created by the capitalists to keep the proletariat in check.

Rewrite your post and remove God and in it's place insert 'Obama (PBUH)'

This is your first and only warning. Another 'slip' and you will be reassigned to Mining Camp No. 12. Prepare your shovel....

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Oh come now Comrade O'Brien, seems the Princess of Nookie is a good Communist, you are so 1960's in your thinking, haven't you heard ... we now accept Liberation Theology into our Groupthink™.