I <3 Government and this video -- found at Daily Kos, of course -- will help you love government as much as I do. Enjoy!



Wow! My life would be pretty damn miserable if I didn't have a hive of caring, compassionate government workers aiding me in my day-to-day existence and micro-managing my life!

Could you imagine this country without the EPA?! The EPA, Comrades! Why, that would be like living in America circa. 1969! Back then people's bathrooms were swamped in radioactive stew! Ugh! Don't these people know we cannot exist without a myriad of government agencies staffed by thousands -- if not millions! -- of caring, compassionate government care-takers!?

Why, without a benevolent totalitarian government my kids might be working in a mine for some Kulak as opposed to breaking permafrost in the frozen tundra. I simply cannot stand for that, Comrades! I will not stand for that! George Bush -- who I believe in still secretly running this ugly country -- will force all of our kids, the kids we didn't abort, to slave endlessly in the salt mines if we don't hand over our petty freedoms and pass this stimulus bill!

Keep your kids out of the Halliburton salt mines AND PASS THE STIMULUS BILL! Baah!

Meow, Meow, Meow. I think that your history is all screwed up. In 1969--and I was there, bathrooms were not a radioactive stew. They were actually fairly clean which meant that people were more mannerly and more orderly and--here's the big one--didn't feel as entitled as they ought to have done because government wasn't big enough to make them feel all that entitled.

So rejoice, Meow, when you see squalor and filth. Go to Detroit. Because when you see squalor and filth, you know that you're seeing the highest virtue of people who feel entitled because of Big Government.

Or you're in Chad.

More goberment now! I need a nanny of the state to look out for me! Blessed be the "ONE" who'll bring it to me! I'll *'#$ %^&'*( )_+|! @#$%^& for more goberment! Ask and you'll receive, sailor....

Ivan, your mind will be eased by the liquefaction of your prefrontal lobes. Present yourself to your nearest Jifi-Lobo. Bring a driver for you won't be able to after your "service." But you'll be happy. Most people learn to control their bladders after only a month or two.

[off]How many things that we take for granted today were born from a cup of coffee and a little imagination... How many innovations will be stifled by lack of profit motivation? Too bad the depression didn't start in 1921 like this guy's calendar says... Or maybe it did to make it seem LONGER and make FDR look like even more of a saint.[/off]

[ off ]The Reagan tax cuts destroyed the Texas property market and lots of S&Ls--because decisions made under Carter were made for tax benefit instead of financial benefit. It will happen again. I fail to understand why people don't get it: the rich can afford any car or house that they want. They can afford entire tax departments. And legislators to give them something to employ the departments on. And they get a tingle buying the legislators.

Ah, yes....The HAL like NPR Prozac sounding voice over, the current hip vibes of Canned Heat, what Progressiveness Comrades!
Not to worry though! All of Comrade Amy Douglas's plan is being made into reality as you read this post...or is it Douglas Amy? Nevermind.

OOC....
Poor bastard is probably still in weekly therapy sessions with his shrink for all the beatings and locker slammings he got in high school for gender confusion and name calling.
Can we still Blame Bush?

I managed to get 2:20 seconds into the vid before I got scared and fell down on my knees, inploring the Great Obama to save me. And help me decide how I should wipe my ass--front to back? Back to front? Side-to-side with a slight circular motion? And then I started worrying about the environmental impact of my choice of toilet paper (yes, I'm an inner circle member, so I have some) and the health implications of texture and scent (the paper's, not mine: inner circle member, so mine don't stink). And then I thought: What if my neighbors are wiping their asses the wrong way or with the wrong paper, or with too much paper? Who will educate them in the proper ways of wiping? I sure hope that the 1100+ page Bill That Must Be Voted On Before Anybody Has A Chance To Read It Because Nancy Has To Jet To Italy Bill That Will Wipe Away All Our Tears has some provision for a federal agency that will develop proper guidelines for ass-wiping and establish a federal bureaucracy to educate The People as to the proper methods and materials for ass-wiping and another federal agency to insure compliance and to fine the anti-progressives who do not wipe in the proper fashion. We could all be dead by this time next week unless the Federal Government steps up to its mandate to teach us how to wipe our asses!