Ham Sandwiches And Sausage Rolls May Be Banned From Office Kitchens For Being ‘Offensive'

Ham sandwich? Sausage rolls? Not for lunch at work, you Islamophobe! Policy is changing, and the majority shall bend over backwards for the minority, by Allah!



Don't even put your Haram filth in the same refrigerator as a proper Halal meal, and don't put one in there in CASE someone decided to put a halal meal in later!

Now, shall we discuss alcohol at the company picnic, or the "Winter Solstice" party?

Good! Now my severed heads won't be contaminated by impure deli meat!

The Stierlitz Incomplete Compendium of Prohibited Foodstuffs:

(Item : Group It Offends)
Pork: Muslims
Beef: Hindus
Chicken: African-Americans
Vegan meat: Vegans if eaten by non-Vegans
Bread Products: Gluten-Sensitive and Celiac-Challenged
Water: Californians and the Water-Handicapped
Fish Products: Animal Rights Activists and Catch+Release Advocates
Soups: Dentally Challenged
Microwave-cooked Food: Anti-Radiation Protesters
Oven+Range+Fire-cooked Food: Anti-Pollutant Activists
Wood, Dirt, and any plant: Environmental activists and Earth First members
Air: Oxygen-handicapped, Astronauts, and Atmospheric Scientists
Mechanically-processed and/or transported food: Luddites and anti-metallic ore mining groups
Canned Food: Can-opener disabled
Paid-for food: Kommunism and the Party
Free food: Economists and Kommunism because we aren't taking money from those according to their ability to pay to give to each according to their needs.

Clearly, we must start to eat each-other. Nevermind a balanced diet and being healthy; if the State commands it we must follow it. Plus, with a couple calls and a few forms we can redefine "healthy" to anything we want.

This comes from across the pond... It's a wonder that island hasn't sunk into the ocean under the weight of its own inertia.

I mean, what forward-thinking, Progressive Comrades in the UK. They are the vanguard of the war on offensiveness. But they forgot to add they'll require a piss-Christ jar on the corner of each desk to annoy the Christians!!

Commissar Obamissar V wrote:This comes from across the pond...[highlight=#00ff00] It's a wonder that island hasn't sunk into the ocean under the weight of its own inertia[/highlight].

I mean, what forward-thinking, Progressive Comrades in the UK. They are the vanguard of the war on offensiveness. But they forgot to add they'll require a piss-Christ jar on the corner of each desk to annoy the Christians!!

Speaking of islands sinking into the ocean... Perhaps we can ship the Christians and their fatty ham sandwiches to Guam, place a Piss Christ ™ on one side of the island, which will cause it to tip over and plunge them all into the ocean. We can blame the whole event on global warming Climate Change ™ and obesity due to ham consumption, killing several birds with one island.

Konservative_Punk wrote:Speaking of islands sinking into the ocean... Perhaps we can ship the Christians and their fatty ham sandwiches to Guam, place a Piss Christ ™ on one side of the island, which will cause it to tip over and plunge them all into the ocean. We can blame the whole event on global warming Climate Change ™ and obesity due to ham consumption, killing several birds with one island.

I'm all for purging the Christians, Comrade, but what about the current residents of Guam? They're the victims of Amerikkkan imperialism, the class struggle, racism, culture wars, capitalist exploitation, and any number of other grievances. First they lost their freedom in becoming a "possession," and now you mean to take the dirt from beneath their feet?

Wait- they're Catholic there. Let 'em sink!

Komrades! Why worry about whether pork will be allowed when the end game is merely a ration of beets?

"We have lost the ability to talk about religious belief because of a century of secular assumptions, and [highlight=#99cc00]most religious belief is either highly visible and we don't recognise it, [/highlight][highlight=#99cc00]or it's invisible and we miss it entirely[/highlight].”

I must admit that I missed entirely that exploding ham sandwich in a pressure cooker at the company picnic. And I certainly didn't recognize Abdul Mohamed as he was running away shouting "Allah Akbar!" and beheading people with a scimitar. That's certainly not the Abdul Mohamed I know.

The proletariat should not be forced to endure your archaic religious superstitions, especially those involving savory smoked pork products.

I Denounce such blatant and insensitive...

<OFF>

Bacon Akhbar!

This clean young lad is all for the banning of pork in lunch rooms. Pork spreads disease, we all know that.

I can only repeat myself:

[img]/images/IslamicRageBoy_Poster2.gif[/img]

[img]/images/IslamicRageBoy_Poster.gif[/img]

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
... Bacon Akhbar!

[OFF]
I found this saying a long time ago while I was browsing a discussion forum:

Aloha Snackbar

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:I Denounce such blatant and insensitive...

<OFF>

Bacon Akhbar!

For more to denounce, try a swineapple.

No more people cooking spam in the kitchen.

Yes!! Bacon Akhbar!!!!!

KKK agitators serving free ham on white bread sandwiches near Mosque and AME Church.