To my Comrades of the Inner Circle.... and to the remaining collective....

After serious & cautious consideration.....your contract of friendship has been renewed for the new year 2009.

It was a very hard decision to make.

So for 2009, try to be quicker to agree with my ideas, less questioning of Pure Party Pup, Marshal Pupovich's advice and more understanding. Also remember Marshal Pupovich is rarely wrong, when it comes to anything.
The Pup is giving you another chance so.....

Don't jack it up!
Some of you were border line or sub standard and some contracts were not renewed
(YOU WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE).

Have a Safe and Happy New Years!!!

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:
Have a Safe and Happy New Years!!!

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With the World Of Next Tuesday only 20 days away, how can 2009 be anything BUT safe and happy?

Long live the Revolution, comrade Marshal Pupovich!

Do not underestimate the damage that the Bushitler can inflict during that short time Comrade. But be of good cheer, as you said, the world will soon be at peace, climate change will be set on an even keel, there will be no more pain or sorrows from lack of free medical care or housing, no more need for meddlesome thinking for one's self.

Ah, Pupovich. I have reviewed my contracts for friendship and have decided that I will turn my back on you <i>for four seconds</i>. How's that? I mean, that's a second up, 133.33% up, from my previous personal best.

Long live the revolution, until it is replaced by the slime of a new bureaucracy, as Kafka said.

Bless You, Marshall, for you truly have the spirit of Obama in you. You are the TARP that bails out our auto companies! You are the economic stimulus that will build our duck ponds! You are the bucket that will lower our oceans! You are the union that check-marks our cards so we don't have to cower in secret to vote! You are the wise visionary that will bring peace to regions that have been fighting for a thousand years. (Will someone please ring the bell, I'm running out of sycophantic metaphors here.)

Long live the Revolution for revolutions make the world go round!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Ah, Pupovich. I have reviewed my contracts for friendship and have decided that I will turn my back on you <i>for four seconds</i>. How's that? I mean, that's a second up, 133.33% up, from my previous personal best

<sob>
I can not be more touched than I am right now. You have truly touched my heart Commissar. I will consider that 4 seconds an opportunity.... a badge of honor!

Commissar, perhaps you have heard this song before, if not, I think you will enjoy it. All I know it sure brought you to mind, along with Bruno of course, Sorry, there really is no video, just the music, with the lyrics.



The Saga Of Jesse Jane

I'm in jail in a Texas town
In my sister's wedding gown
I drive a truck all night long
Listening to Judy Garland songs

Now I'm locked behind bars of steel
I was just looking for a happy meal
I parked my rig and I went inside
They've never seen such a pretty bride

Jesse Jane, are you insane?
Or are you just a normal guy
Who dresses like a butterfly
Jesse Jane

I paid my bill and I turned around
Facing every red neck in that one horse town
His face was red. His fist was clenched
He threw his coke and he got me drenched

Jesse Jane, are you insane?
Or are you just an average Joe
Looking for a fashion show
Jesse Jane

Well, I guess that was the final straw
I pulled a pistol from my Wonderbra
I killed him dead. I killed 'em all
And they finally caught me in the bathroom stall

And now I'm doing ten to life
But I'll tell you one thing, Bubba
Someday I'm gonna make someone in here
A hell of a wife

Jesse Jane, are you insane?
Or are you just a average guy
Who dresses like a butterfly
Jesse Jane

Jesse Jane, are you insane?
Or are you just a Peter Pan
Looking for his Never Land
Jesse Jane

Opiate of the People wrote:Bless You, Marshall, for you truly have the spirit of Obama in you. You are the TARP that bails out our auto companies! You are the economic stimulus that will build our duck ponds! You are the bucket that will lower our oceans! You are the union that check-marks our cards so we don't have to cower in secret to vote! You are the wise visionary that will bring peace to regions that have been fighting for a thousand years. (Will someone please ring the bell, I'm running out of sycophantic metaphors here.)

Comrade Opiatel The Progressive Force is strong in you indeed! I can foresee a promotion in your future!

Marshal Pupovich wrote: Comrade Opiatel The Progressive Force is strong in you indeed! I can foresee a promotion in your future!

Many thanks, Marshall. Like my idol, the former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris, I live only to serve the people. The people have decided to reward his years of selfless service by elevating him to the post of US Senator for Illinois, replacing Comrade Obama (a great honor, indeed!) Comrade Burris will not insult his people by refusing this promotion, nor shall I refuse whatever higher service the people call me to. As Caroline Kennedy probably said, "You know, it is time for me to give back to my community by acquiring a position of power from which I can look down on it. You know?"

Ah, Pupovich, thank you. And thank all of you for not noticing that my one-second promotion was up 1/3 and not 1 and a third. But then what's math between friends? If people could figure Fannie Mae would never have been bailed out.

How appropriate for you to bring up Alice Cooper. Do you remember <i>School's Out</i>? Nine days ago I ate at T. Cook's on Camelback in Phoenix. "Camelback...My High School." Ah. Alice Cooper. Billion Dollar Babies. Fond old memories of when I was a conservative before <b>I saw the light and became a progressive</b>. That conservative bit was too hard. I actually had to <i>take responsibility</i>, and that won't do. Now I just say some high-sounding things, blub a bit, point fingers and go to bed well satisfied that someone else has to take care of it.

But Alice Cooper is merely a poseur. He is not in fact gay. Well neither am I and Bruno is actually built like Farrah Fawcett in 1969, and not like Ahnold in 1969. I just do this gay bit for laughs and because if you're a white heterosexual male you're SOL unless you have some sort of trick.

I mean, I really hate Judy Garland and Barbara Streisand. And the Rancho? Those are pictures of some other house.

...Bruno. Bruno! What's on ESNP tonight? Swing, batter, batter, batter, batter...

Comrades,

Alice Cooper plays a mean round of golf (and sometimes more than one, disguised as charity). Clearly he is a regressive force. As Che Guevara noted, rock music is a counter-revolutionary force that must be destroyed!

Why, Alice Cooper even plugs golf clubs! As revolutionaries, we don't need proof, but it can come in handy when it exists:
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Wait 'til the Revolution when Alice finds out that "School's Out Forever!" (or "In," depending on how much re-education is needed).

Commissar Theocritus wrote:How appropriate for you to bring up Alice Cooper. Do you remember <i>School's Out</i>? Nine days ago I ate at T. Cook's on Camelback in Phoenix. "Camelback...My High School." Ah. Alice Cooper. Billion Dollar Babies. Fond old memories of when I was a conservative before <b>I saw the light and became a progressive</b>. That conservative bit was too hard. I actually had to <i>take responsibility</i>, and that won't do. Now I just say some high-sounding things, blub a bit, point fingers and go to bed well satisfied that someone else has to take care of it.

But Alice Cooper is merely a poseur. He is not in fact gay.

Oh yes. as a matter of a fact I have been listening to Cooper quite a bit lately. I have always loved his music, stage act, and the humorous comments he makes in his songs. I love the end of "Elected" when you hear him do his political "speech" saying "New York, Chicago (et, al) everywhere people have problems... and frankly, I don't care!" A disturbingly honest statement, He is not what he has seemed for a long time. I once knew a roadie of his in the old days when you just knew he had to be a druggie, and discovered he didn't do drugs at all, but was a heavy boozer. But now it gets worse....Alice Cooper is a Christian!

Comrades,

For whatever reason, Alice Cooper rarely reached my ears, though certain friends are huge fans. There was too much metal, punk, and New Wave in the way.

I once went to see a triple billing of (name forgotten), Motörhead, and Judas Priest, who appeared in that order. I'm not a JP fan, but it was entertaining to see the singer (Rob Halford, yes?) drive his Harley on stage. However, I left half-way through JP, not into them and the whole black leather thing and looking to avoid the post-concert traffic and parking lot hell.

Anyway, at another Judas Priest concert elsewhere that not I but a friend attended, a curious thing happened. The friend was tall, long naturally black hair, fair of skin, slender, a looker never short of female companionship. He scored a backstage pass and was guided back by a roadie. It was all quite exciting until Rob Halford started hitting on him. Being very straight, the friend excused himself and left. True story? Who cares, for it is a good story.

The friend is now a single and doting father who makes ornate bongs. Make of that what you will.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:But now it gets worse....Alice Cooper is a Christian!

Comrade Marshal Pupovich,
<br>I have heard rumors that he has also voted Rethuglican, although perhaps not as openly as Sammy Hagar. Come the Revolution, he'll learn how to drive 55 or else!

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Concerning that '80s fashion, zek's garb could be a style enhancement.

...Bruno. Bruno! What's on ESNP tonight? Swing, batter, batter, batter, batter...

Marv Alpert: There a flag on the field. 5 yards for taunting.
Bruno #69, has also been assesed another 10 yards for excessive celebration in the end zone.
Joe Buck (no Theocritus, not "Joe Buck" from "Midnight Cowboy"): You ain't a kiddin' there Marv, that was some real excessive celebrating in the end zone and it looks like he left some batter all over the place. There's nothing left of that tight end, he's now a wide receiver.
Marv Alpert: Looks like the ref has called time out and asked for the Zamboni driver to clean it up. Let's pause here for a commercial break.

I never heard that Hagar song before, but I couldn't agree more... I just can't drive 55!

Needless to say, this is perhaps my favorite rock oriented clip of all time.... cracks me up every time.

Laika, I think that Bruno became converted because of the uniform. After all the tight pants, and those shoulder pads making a caricature of masculinity. And all the bright colors. Also, what sport has more homoerotic music? How much of it is by Queen?

"We will rock you..."

"We will rock you..."

I understand #69 gets really excited when they play "Rock 'n Roll Part II" by Gary Glitter

BTW, did you see the halftime show during The Sun Bowl in El Paso on December 31st?

BTW, did you see the halftime show during The Sun Bowl in El Paso on December 31st?

I did! I did!
I was hanging with the Bitter Clingers and taught them the letters while I digitally recorded this with my cell phone!
The Bitter Clingers lost 3-0.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:I never heard that Hagar song before, but I couldn't agree more... I just can't drive 55!

Needless to say, this is perhaps my favorite rock oriented clip of all time.... cracks me up every time.

Comrade Pupovich,

I went to see Wayne's World when it came out but left feeling mildly swindled. Maybe it's because the characters struck too close to home. Yet it would seem that, like reading Shakespeare in high school, it was simply too early for me.

But I'll never be too young or old to get a laugh out of MOD's "Bubble Butt" (in stereo!) wallowing in capitalist excess (Parents: flab content warning):

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Comrade Commissar Theocritus,

The above video, if you were able to (ahem) stomach it, is almost Buff.

Tovarich, no I wasn't able to stomach it.

And, Laika, how could I have forgotten the Village People? Next on the football field we'll have "Funkytown" and that old great anthem, "I Will Survive."

Bruno's team is losing at half time and goes off for a pep talk from the coach and some clean uniforms. Coming back on the PA starts playing, "I Will Survive."

[off]Have you seen that movie <i>In and Out</i>. Pleasant, a little heartless to the girl, and Tom Selleck should sue his plastic surgeon. But Kevin Kline tries to see if he's butch and puts on a cassette, which tells him <i>not</i> to dance, and plays, "I Will Survive." He tries but just can't stay still. I nearly wet 'em. God that's so true.

Yo! Imagine my relief. I thought that this was a thread about renewing the contract on a hit on my life because I lost Texas for His O'lyness. I remember when Sam Hagar was an opener for the openers (Van Halen) of the '79 Texas Jam (TKO-Nazareth-Hagar-Van Halen-Boston-BOC-Heart.)

Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Yo! Imagine my relief. I thought that this was a thread about renewing the contract on a hit on my life because I lost Texas for His O'lyness. I remember when Sam Hagar was an opener for the openers (Van Halen) of the '79 Texas Jam (TKO-Nazareth-Hagar-Van Halen-Boston-BOC-Heart.)

Comrade C2GM,

My first 45 rpm was a Boston song. Sniff. You're getting me all nostalgic for days down South when the Coke machines dispensed Kickapoo Joy Juice and had a narrow vertical door and you pulled the bottles out from between two rollers then popped the cap off from the bottle opener affixed to the vending machine.

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Ah, that's better.

Tovarich, are you sure that you are not a Texan? I thought only Texans used the word "Coke" generically. Others I thought used the less manly (shut up) soda.

Comrade Commissar Theocritus,

No Texan in me anywhere, but I spent some early years in Dixie and recall a Coke vending machine described as above. When you pulled out the bottle there'd be all kind of racket as other bottles rolled down ramps to fill the vacated space.

I hedge bets and ask, "You want a Coke or somethin'?" But the kinfolk in the home state do tend to say soda.

Coke beats Pepsi, but Mr. Pibb beats Coke (and Dr. Pepper). I'm a root beer man myself and even enjoy Pappy's Sassafrass Tea, although Stewart's Key Lime Soda is rather spectacular. But few of these are available in my present locale: Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, and (uck) Mountain Dew. There are plenty of domestic contenders.

Coke tastes a bit different here. I think it's because, being locally bottled, they use sugar, not corn syrup.

Then again, when you have vending machines that dispense various teas, hot corn potage, canned coffees, beers and sometimes bottles of hard liquor (and flowers, rice, batteries, neckties, skin mags, and even "used" (or "pre-worn") panties), why buy a coke or soda?

It's rather strange to pump roughly $20 into a vending machine for a bottle of low-grade domestic whiskey. Alas, there's a movement here against alcohol and tobacco vending machines. The panty machines, however, are safe for the moment.

Tovarich, I see a money raiser for the party. We could sell our Many Titted Empresses used panties in a vending machine. To the True Believer they would be worth their (considerable) weight in gold.

Or they would clear the house of rats, roaches and other vermin. Poltergeists too.

Comrade Commissar Theocritus,

You have a point.

I might suggest a line of Bill Clinton cigars, too. As anyone who has seen a true picture of a capitalist pig knows, Republican capitalist pigs are all cigar-chomping swine. Until The One re-establishes trade with Cuba, the cigars could be rolled in Comrade Rangel's private Dominican Republic villa. An added bonus is that the Dominican Republic is apparently one of the top two sex tourism destinations now that Fidel has begun to crack down on prostitution, so the cigars could also be sold "pre-used" or "flavored," depending on the target market.

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:
But I'll never be too young or old to get a laugh out of MOD's "Bubble Butt" (in stereo!) wallowing in capitalist excess (Parents: flab content warning):

Great Stalin's Ghost! Is there any comparison between that and the immortal Alice Cooper? Why, that looked more like a scene from the Ranchero or the meat market at one of the Chairman's outlets. Some picky diners prefer just a little bit leaner cut.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Tovarich, are you sure that you are not a Texan? I thought only Texans used the word "Coke" generically. Others I thought used the less manly (shut up) soda.

What is this "soda" stuff? I have heard of baking soda and that it is a chemical compound. People actualy drink such stuft? Why don't they just have some coke? It comes in a varity of flavors.

Truthfully, any one who does not call them all cokes smacks of yankee to me!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Tovarich, I see a money raiser for the party. We could sell our Many Titted Empresses used panties in a vending machine. To the True Believer they would be worth their (considerable) weight in gold.

Or they would clear the house of rats, roaches and other vermin. Poltergeists too.

Commissar Theocritis,

Must you try to sell everything or anything that you see or hear about? The MTE's panties?
retches and spits......The MTE's panties could possibly be useful as fertilizer or perhaps pest control...and don't insinuate that I'm not a believer!

And Comrade Tovarich,

After much consideration, the offer of a "rendezvous"is hereby cancelled. Any dude that would buy panties from a vending machine must be a desperate, depraved comrade, indeed!LOL

Comrades to be Singled Out,

Comrade Pupovich,
That would be damn Yankee, suh, with experience living north and south of the Mason-Dixon. Moreover, I have owned a dog and a dawg, yet neither was for treeing raccoons or other varmints.

Regarding "Bubble Butt," I think it is aurally and physically heavier than Alice Cooper, but I could be wrong about the former. Said with the nasal twang of Arlo Guthrie, "I mean," I know Alice can't be heavier than that woman, who would need her own "Group W bench," even if he builds massive muscles of steel by cutting his own lawn with a 5-iron.

Comrade Che Gourmet,
Such machines reportedly do exist, although I have never purchased directly or indirectly "pre-owned" panties, a truly pathetic (if novel) product. Panty theft from clotheslines is a problem; my wife had a pair swiped when she was single. Whereas a US TV show like COPS might show a car chase ending in gunfire, here it will be damning evidence footage taken from a camera hidden on the balcony of a woman who's had one too many panties stolen (by a pantsu dorobou, パンツ泥棒, "panty thief"), a drunk asking police for money or directions home, or the police chasing bosozoku biker kids yet rarely managing to bag any of them.

Truth be told, I have not seen a used panty machine (although I'm fairly certain I've seen a stocking machine for business women and "office ladies" who find they have runs) but then I don't normally venture into "water business" (水商売) areas. This morning NHK reported 37% of Japanese marriages are sexless, which might go some way to explaining why such machines exist. Were it not heresy, I might say it is glorious how capitalism finds a way to fill all needs, if that is the right word.

But I am disappointed in your decision, for I know how resolute you are! I shall go skulk to unburden my heart, preferably in a public area, where my compassion and feeling will be noticed and hopefully not go unrewarded.

Che, of <i>course</i> I try to sell everything. I'm a socialist, which means that if it's not nailed down, it's mine, and if I can get it, it wasn't nailed down well.

I do this, of course, only for the Common Good™. By the way, have I told you comrades that the courtyard in my house is called the Common?

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:Comrades to be Singled Out,

Comrade Pupovich,
That would be damn Yankee, suh, with experience living north and south of the Mason-Dixon. Moreover, I have owned a dog and a dawg, yet neither was for treeing raccoons or other varmints.

Actually, to be fair, they are all damn yankees.... the ones that come down here and stay are god damned yankees.

Ah, Pupovich, do not be disparaging of our Yankee friends. For after all, the south of Texas would be destitute without them. And I will not repeat the joke about the Snow Bird that comes with one shirt and a $5 bill and changes neither. Those are the ones that live for four months in campers. Not the ones who rent the nice condos.

Comrades,

When I was a young laddy in Dixie, a relative visiting from up North came down for a stay. The whole clan went to the local mall, in the parking lot of which was a vehicle with a "Southern by the grace of God" or similar plastic fronting license plate. The hippie-in-appearance-only relative tore it off the vehicle (car alarms still unknown then) and flexed into two pieces and left them on the ground. "One nation under God" duty done, we continued merrily along our way to shopping.

It has been reported to me that the further south one goes, the dirtier the gas station toilets become, with Florida's being utterly disgusting. Apparently that was what drove the popularity of a video of Britney Spears going barefoot into a gas station toilet.

One of my father's observations was that in Dixie, people rarely changed their oil; consequently, their cars' engines had shorter lives. Up north (Chicago does not count), people change their oil more frequently; however, the road salt destroys car bodies.

But I am progressive and thus above the fray.

As far as I can tell the Yankee bit died about 25 years ago, at least in Texas. I haven't heard anything in a while. In 1983 I bought a Toyota Supra (what a crumpet collector <i>that</i> was) in Odessa and in the service department there was a sign which said, "Welcome to Texas. We hope you enjoy it here. And we don't care how you did it up north."

And the reactions did stop. I do recall about that time there were endless numbers of people who would ask for something and then say, "In Detroit we..." which made no friends. Bob Strauss, although a Progressive, said, "Just cause we talk slow doesn't mean we think slow."

As for changing oil--I'm religious about it. Which is why my mechanic bought my last two Acuras.

I haven't owned a car for 9-10 years, but I was a regular changer of oil for all vehicles that required it. I must admit I hated doing it flat parked along the street in college, especially in sub-zero weather, but such were life and finances.

Fortunately I've always been in the position that I could make as much as it cost to have it changed. But then I'd have paid even more not to do it. And I am not made to fit under a car.