Hillary Clinton Chosen to Head New Office of Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton was today named to head the brand new Office of Hillary Clinton, ending months of speculation that John Kerry or Susan Rice might receive the nod.

"Hillary is an excellent choice", said a spokesperson who spoke off the record. "I can't think of anybody better qualified to do the job."

So what exactly does the Office of Hillary Clinton do? Is being Hillary Clinton such a big, important, complicated job that it requires an office staff to perform successfully?

Apparently.

The Office of Hillary Clinton has its own website, HillaryClintonOffice.com, which some observers found a bit confusing; for example, one person wondered if HillaryClintonOffice.com links you to Hillary Clinton's office in the Office of Hillary Clinton or to the receptionist at the Office of Hillary Clinton.



That wasn't clear so a visit to the website was in order.

If you go to the website, you'll find that there isn't a whole lot there right now. At the bottom in teeny, tiny letters is a "Privacy Policy" link which leads you to a page describing how the Office of Hillary Clinton will handle any personal information that you give the Office of Hillary Clinton, along with some email links where you can address questions in case you want MORE information about the Office of Hillary Clinton's privacy policy.

I didn't, so I went back to the main page.

The only other link there is the CONTACT button, which I surmised is where all the action is at the Office of Hillary Clinton website. Clicking on the button opens a standard contact form where you can "Contact Hillary" (presumably at the Office of Hillary Clinton and not interrupt her in the bathroom or something) and ask her a question and/or make a comment.

The comment form doesn't say that questions or comments are limited to the doings of the Office of Hillary Clinton and/or the website, so I presume personal questions, such as "What color pantsuit will you be wearing Thursday?", are appropriate.

I envision some people will ask questions like "Why is there an Office of Hillary Clinton?" but these sorts of questions are superfluous; obviously, the purpose of the Office of Hillary Clinton is to respond to questions/comments submitted via the HillaryClintonOffice.com website. The nature of these are likely to be items ONLY Hillary Clinton as head of the Office of Hillary Clinton can deal with such as "What color pantsuit will you be wearing Thursday?"

Anyway, since someone went to the trouble to establish the Office of Hillary Clinton and appoint Hillary Clinton to run it, there must be a need for it so we ought to try and make proper use of it. I endeavored to think of some questions and/or comments for Hillary Clinton, stuff that only Hillary Clinton's office could handle. Unfortunately, the only things I could come up with were things like these...

What color pantsuit will you be wearing Thursday?

Sorry, I was looking for the Office of Joe Biden and I contacted you by mistake.

Hill, this is Bill.... Have you seen my cigars?

What difference does it make?

If a US consulate is attacked and the media doesn't hear about it, is it still a filmmaker's fault?

Who do you see succeeding you as head of the Office of Hillary Clinton in case you get elected president or something?


Yeah, they're not very good and I don't feel they are worthy to submit to the Office of Hillary Clinton for Hillary or her receptionist to answer/comment upon. Maybe you can come up with something better? We should do our very best to take advantage of the Office of Hillary Clinton before she has another concussion or something and won't be in the mood to answer questions or comments for awhile. I mean, you saw how long it took her to get back to the US Senate after her last episode and she wasn't even in charge of the Office of Hillary Clinton back then. So, do your best to take advantage of this opportunity while it lasts....

Oh yeah, some uppity bozo is running a Caption Contest, apparently in an effort to make light of the Office of Hillary Clinton's website. I'm trust you all know what to do about something so contemptible and will do the right thing by Hillary.
 

I figured maybe it was a new release of Microsoft Office.



After, all, Droid's got all those colorful and tasty names - Gingerbread, Ice Cream Sandwich, Jelly Bean, Key Lime Pie - why shouldn't Microsoft starting naming Office releases after tasty progressive womyn?
 

"The Office of Hilary Clinton is, I think, in charge of skeets that the President missed. She now calls them "China" and swoons at power lost."

- From our Facebook comments, by Jim Hlavac
 

 

No doubt an upcoming 'historical novel' will consider whether or not Hillary could drink Andrew Johnson & Harry Truman under the table.
 

Hillary Clinton unencumbered by sexuality.