I denounce Michael Jackson for having been the ultimate symbol of evil capitalist expression.

He never, never, took the collective into consideration. He earned millions of capitalist dollars and never expressed guilt for being rich. Instead, what did he do? He selfishly built a monument to himself in the form of an amusement park. He kept a monkey as a pet. He burned up thousands of energy dollars on lights and cameras and amusement park equipment, never doing his part for the O-Goracle. What a pig! A selfish, self-centered capitalist pig, always thinking about how he could improve his own appearance.

His art form was self-centered. He wrote songs that he wanted to write, never songs for the state. He danced how he wanted to dance, how subversive.

And he was a collector, a collector of music, of art, of photographs. How selfish is that?

He deserved the ridicule. He deserved the jokes. Martin Bershire (however his name is spelled) should be given the ultimate prog award for outing his vile conduct--holding a little boy's hand in public-the horror.

In order to equalize his memory, I demand that every dime of any funds derived from his estate be immediately turned over to our Dear Leader for the Greater GoodTM in the form of a special Michael Jackson death redemption tax, and that he be buried in a pauper's grave.


Okay, fine. Count me delusional for having believed in Michael Jackson's innocence. And foolish for boycotting Jay Leno and other comedians for ridiculing him. Eat doo doo, Jay Leno and the rest of you mainstream media vultures. You make me sick.

Lenin 'n' Things here,reporting from the Great Collective in the Sky; Comrades,do not grieve for Comrade Jackson. We are both enjoying our sojourn in Prog Heaven.
There are many wonderful things to enjoy here. Unicorn rides,endless lattes and free subscription to NYT!

So please do not cry for us....it's only just a matter of time before we will be resurrected by The Obamessiah!

Leninka,darling...what happened to your glorious hair?

LnT(StillDead) wrote:Leninka,darling...what happened to your glorious hair?

Dear Lenin and Things,

I gave it as a bribe to Comrade Pinkie, but should grow back now that the trial is over. You have no idea what I've been through. Thank you for your concern.

Comrades, do not fret. Hope ™ is not lost. This is good news either way: for one, there is now one more necro-voter in the PRoCA. Or, perhaps the Obamessiah will resurrect him from the dead.

With all the plastic surgeries and chemicals in him, he probably really is the walking dead now.

It is too bad that Michael Jackson did not have access to the doctors of Harry Reid. Now there is a walking zombie. Or Senator Bob Byrd. This goes to show that you can have the most successful album in history, selling more than twice the number of number two, and still not have the stroke of a Prog politician.

What lesson can we take from this?

And LnT, we've missed you. Where have you been?

Comrades, my sources tell me that the death of Comrade Jackson is a "tail wagging the dog" stunt, set in motion by His O'liness Premier Obama, State Council Speakerette Natasha Peloskaya and Comrade Reid.

You might ask, "what would they want to cover up in these most equal, glorious, glasnostic and perestroiky times?"

I will tell you!

You see, there is still too much of a counterrevolooshunary sentiment amongst some of the reactionary kapitalists. With the Waxman (sounds jooish) Ma(la)rkey Cap and Trade bill on the table his O'lines realized we needed to draw their attention away from it, so that we can finally lay claim to the Word of Next Tuesday.

I believe Comrade Jackson died from Wienerschnitzel consumption. *wink*

Brilliant, Comrade Premier! The sacrifice of one prole will be worth World Covernance! We, the progs and nomenclatura of The People's Cube salute you!

Sing with me!

"All Hail the Messiah,..."

Genosse Pieck wrote:I believe Comrade Jackson died from Wienerschnitzel consumption. *wink*

Oh come now, Pieck: don't think that you can get away with this. There are those of us who walk on the other side of the street to rather fancy men, and WTF do men have to do with Michael Jackson?

Whacko Jacko was the wet dream of, of, of...let me put my finger to my lips and peruse. He was the wet dream of, of, of.

I got it! People who make ferris wheels to put in the front yards of very rich pedophiles! That's it.

Leninka wrote:

LnT(StillDead) wrote:Leninka,darling...what happened to your glorious hair?

Dear Lenin and Things,

I gave it as a bribe to Comrade Pinkie, but should grow back now that the trial is over. You have no idea what I've been through. Thank you for your concern.

Comrade Leninka,

I must say, your new hair and look is most remarkable, if it weren't for our beards getting land locked I'd offer you a peck.

LnT(StillDead), Thank Michael Jackson you ate the Kapitalist Cookie Dough, your in better place, and now you can get live concerts by Jacko. Get 'em while there hot, just $19.95 at local Prog Book Store and Triple Mocha Mocha Cafe':
<br>

Let Us Denounce Capitalist Michael Jackson, Comrades!!!! Do I have a Progressive Thriller(TM) for you... Che! Che Loves Everything...

Leninka wrote:
I denounce Michael Jackson for having been the ultimate symbol of evil capitalist expression.

He never, never, took the collective into consideration. He earned millions of capitalist dollars and never expressed guilt for being rich. Instead, what did he do? He selfishly built a monument to himself in the form of an amusement park. He kept a monkey as a pet. He burned up thousands of energy dollars on lights and cameras and amusement park equipment, never doing his part for the O-Goracle. What a pig! A selfish, self-centered capitalist pig, always thinking about how he could improve his own appearance.

His art form was self-centered. He wrote songs that he wanted to write, never songs for the state. He danced how he wanted to dance, how subversive.

And he was a collector, a collector of music, of art, of photographs. How selfish is that?

He deserved the ridicule. He deserved the jokes. Martin Bershire (however his name is spelled) should be given the ultimate prog award for outing his vile conduct--holding a little boy's hand in public-the horror.

In order to equalize his memory, I demand that every dime of any funds derived from his estate be immediately turned over to our Dear Leader for the Greater Good^TM in the form of a special Michael Jackson death redemption tax, and that he be buried in a pauper's grave.


Okay, fine. Count me delusional for having believed in Michael Jackson's innocence. And foolish for boycotting Jay Leno and other comedians for ridiculing him. Eat doo doo, Jay Leno and the rest of you mainstream media vultures. You make me sick.

Leninka,

You still have so much to learn about the vision of Next Tuesday^TM. Jocko died $400,000,000 in debt. Jocko was the inspiration for stimulus spending! Not just for his ability to electrify the economy, but especially by his deficit spending.

The Obamessiah uses the King of Pop's model of spending, getting a Thriller of a gratifying experience spending utilizing the peoples printing presses to allow himself (well deserved) lavish dates in New York and many campaign trips extolling the peoples agenda of universal health care, cap and trade, and free housing for all.

Truly Jocko must be honored as his O'liness' inspiration.

Comrades, let us remember our wayward comrade with humor...

Michael Jackson did not have a heart attack. Apparently, he went to LA children's hospital and had a stroke.



Authorities have released a statement saying that they will melt his body down and make plastic toys so kids can play with him for a change...



New reports indicate Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating some 12 year old nuts.



McDonalds is launching a commemorative burger: a 50 year-old piece of meat between two 5 year-old buns.



Two paramedics arrive at Michael Jackson's to answer the 911 call,
the first asks the second what they should try first.
To which the second replies, "well I don't know about you but I reckon the ferris wheel".



Farrah Fawcett arrives at the pearly gates and Saint Peter Grants her one wish, so she thinks for a minute and says "I wish all the children in the world to be safe".

The next day Micheal Jackson dies.



Isn't it Ironic that Michael Jackson died at 2:10pm
When the big hand touches the little hand...

[ off ]

Whoopie, that is better than the joke after poor Rock Hudson died.

They buried Rock Hudson with his ass out of the ground so his friends could stop by for a cold one.

Leninka; Your new do is spectacular! So lustrous,so Fifties-inspired.

Erudite;....ummm....I've been like...dead....duh.

Rooster; I thank Lenin daily that i had the good fortune to consume that raw cookie dough. Prog heaven is everything that i imagined it would be,and more!
Michael just moon-walked off a cloud...so funny...you had to be there.
Prog off: That bumper sticker you made was priceless. Laughed very hard and very out-loud at that.


Ivan,my love....thank you for such a beautiful eulogy. Had i known I was going to get a Lifetime movie just by dying,I would have commited suicide long ago.
Sing a sweet melancholy dirge for me,Betinov,until i am brought forth in the resurrection by The One.

Comrade LnT, my Revolutionary Life Force Redistribution and Mad Scientist Squad may have a solution for you.

We are currently in possession of a great number of assorted reasonably fresh corpses, and get new ones in every day. If you could give us your requirements for a body, we can begin to set up the reanimation unit, composed of a copy of The Audacity of Hope, some generators, a transformer, a strange liquid that we grew from Joe Biden's snot, and a lock of Hillary Clinton's hair connected to an electrode.

Once that is done, we simply dial in the frequency code of your Party Approved Tracking Device and beam you back from Prog Heaven.

Don't forget having Evan Thomas intone the Sacred Obama Texts. No prog can do anything unless he's a SOT.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:a transformer.

Starscream is available

Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:With all the plastic surgeries and chemicals in him, he probably really is the walking dead now.

Unfortunately, he was probably half embalmed already when he expired.

But, perhaps that could be used to advantage. Perhaps Hollywood can erect a tomb for him, like the Great Chairman Lenin?

Comrades,

Your jokes, albeit irreverent, have somewhat lifted me out of my doldrums.

Whoopie, you are BAD!!!

Lenin and Things,

Here's a little secret. My hair is homage to little Mikey and his bestest friend.

Now I don't feel so bad when I see a picture of me 30 years ago having lost #125 to have some fun.

Wait just a cotton pickin' minute..

You cannot denounce a necro-proxy who was For The Children™
There was never a comrade who was more For The Children™ 24/7/365.25

If there is (or was) I want to know. The whole world wants to know.
The whole world is watching Leninka!
The whole world is watching!

Dear Comrade Laika,

Of course he was For The Children™ 24/7/365.25, but what kind of message was he giving to our future workers, that it is all right to own one's own amusement park? And only share it with certain chosen children?

However, I see where the soft spot came from. I see that you, too, came down from your lofty post and visited Michael, and played and had fun, and enjoyed yourself.

Comrades! Only 10 years to go until the post office gets to issue Michael Jackson Commemorative Stamps!

Yes, I know what you're all thinking. The post office is on the verge of extinction, so why bother? But the truth is, it's too big to fail, and we're counting on Obama to bail it out, if only so we can have Michael Jackson postage stamps.

I was thinking we could allow the masses to vote on a picture for the stamp, like they did with Elvis:


(It's a testament to the sad, pathetic, meaningless life I lead that I was very excited to find these two pictures together. Gotta love Al Gore for inventing that Internet!)

Comrades, we need to come up with two images of Jacko for the proposed stamp. Will the masses choose between the reasonably normal looking young boy with the huge 'fro, the stringy-haired zombie with one glove and sparkly socks like Michelle probably now wears when scooping up slops for the homeless, or the white dude with all the plastic surgery gone horribly awry?



Or how 'bout the one with the mask?

Also, we need to brace ourselves for tacky looking commemorative plates, clocks, and choo-choo trains from the Franklin Mint and Bradford Exchange; Michael Jackson impersonators in Vegas; Michael Jackson sightings fueled by conspiracy theories that he didn't really die; and middle-aged women chucking their wedding portraits from over the fireplace, and replacing them with "Velvet Jacko" pictures.

Finally, it may take a few days yet, but rest assured Obama will eventually say something about Michael's death. As with everything else, he wants to see how the whole thing plays out so he can be sure of what he's talking about.

Comrade Pinkie,

I actually have both of the Elvis stamps above. They are framed in different frames. I also have the Elvis stamps from Granada. And I will be one of the suckers who buy the Michael Jackson stamps.

I don't know that he ever got to have the face he really wanted. Now, if we could only see what he invisioned. I wonder what that would look like. Could this be it?

I always thought Michael wanted to be Diana Ross when he grew up, not Kate Hepburn.

There was a terrible joke some years ago that Richard Prior and Michael Jackson were starting the Ignited Negro College Fund. Quit booing and hissing. Only Bruno hisses. And the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits.

He might have when he was younger, but I do remember seeing some kind of documentary or other that mentioned his obsession with Katherine. He had pictures of her all over, and constantly watched her movies.

When I was six, I wanted to be like Annette Funicello. When I was eight, I wanted to be like Carol Burnett. Now, my idol is and has been for many years, Gracie Allen, but alas, like it was for Michael, it is an impossible dream.

Good night, George.

Sing a sweet melancholy dirge for me,Betinov,until i am brought forth in the resurrection by The One.

I heard an ethereal voice, and can but obey...

(an acoustic guitar begins playing the tune of Don Maclean's "Vincent")

Lenin a-and Things...
living the Progressive way
looking at the dawning day
with eyes that knew the dark of Bush's soul.
Pelosi's on the Hill...
sketching out Obama's will,
knowing power's heady thrill,
and holding all within her bony hands.

Now I understand
what L-n-T, she meant to me
and how she suffered for humanity
and how she died to set us free
If it wasn't for that cookie dough...
...that's wishful thinking though

Lenin a-and Things...
a lovely girl with lovely legs
too bad about those past-date eggs
that Nestle used to make that cookie dough.
Collective tears now flow...
to mourn the fact that she is gone
what issue shall we dwell upon
to mark the passing of her from our land?

Now I understand
what L-n-T, she meant to me
and how she suffered for humanity
and how she died to set us free
If it wasn't for that cookie dough...
...that's wishful thinking though

Thank Lenin, Obama
is in the White House now...
even though Hope and Change was Flesh
That dough just wasn't fresh
It took her life like swine flu's s'posed to do...
But I could have told you, L-n-T,
This world was never meant for one as Progressive as you....

Lenin a-and Things...
congressmen with empty heads
fill our hearts with nameless dreads
--the example of your untimely demise.
It's no bloody surprise...
these foolish folk in foolish prose
sponsored a bill that does propose
to ban all sales of uncooked cookie dough

Now I think I know
what you tried to say to me
and how you suffered for humanity
and how you died to set them free
From the danger o-of uncooked dough
we're free for ev-ver-more....

The OOL is hereby bestowed upon Ivan Betinov for Soviet syrupy saccharin sentimentality in Progressive Excellence. June 27, 2009

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Don't forget having Evan Thomas intone the Sacred Obama Texts. No prog can do anything unless he's a SOT.

Actually I was planning on having Bill Clinton take a cigar and use that for the final act.

Betinov, very nice reworking of Don McClean. Do we have to do any more than change the pronouns to rework "Narcissisma" to work for His O'liness?

I have been thinking. Cigars. Che. Michael Moore and <i>Sicko</i>. Which I at first thought was autobiographical. Cuba. Slick Willie. Slick cigar as surrogate willie.

LnT(deadandlovingit) wrote: Rooster; I thank Lenin daily that i had the good fortune to consume that raw cookie dough. Prog heaven is everything that i imagined it would be,and more!
Michael just moon-walked off a cloud...so funny...you had to be there.
Prog off: That bumper sticker you made was priceless. Laughed very hard and very out-loud at that.

Michael moon-walking on clouds, how could life be grander. Could you tell us, did he bring the pet monkey with him? And are there any necro-voters my offices missed? Please send down all the information you can gather on them we need more votes for The Glorious World of Next Tuesday(TM).


Nice! Always good to know I made someones day lighter.

Betinov!

That was ....snifff....(choke, struggling to hold composure)...waaah.....aaaaahOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (the lonesome howl of a melancholy spacedog) BEAUTIFUL! So progressive. That should be a PBS special with an excessive amount of pledge breaks.

Can you do "Dachas In The Air"?

For Comrade Ivan Betinov:

I'd like to say that from this day forth, I'll never be able to hear "Vincent" without thinking of Betinov's parody and laughing until all manner of fluids come spraying out of every orifice in my body.

But as it happens, I tend to switch stations in disgust the moment I hear that, "Starry, starry night . . ." puking out of my radio.

{off} After Farrah Fawcett dies, she gets asked in heaven if she has a wish she'd like granted. She says she'd just like children to be safe. So Michael Jackson dies...

An O.O.L. and a B.o.t.W....at least something good has come out of this senseless tragedy.

Pinkie, I agree--that's the most saccharine of his songs. But he did some good ones. Although it could be that I heard them in the 70s when I was growing up; that music is more an <i>aide memoire</i> than anything else. But the popular music I like the most, except possibly for swing and big band, is the 80s. My lord I was having fun then, and it was the musical wallpaper of my running around. Then came the spiraling descent into rap and hip-hop. One secretary, 33, a great gal, listens to music of a genre I cannot fathom, but it sounds like an extended vamp. It could all be composed by computer--think of a very smart rhythm box on a Hammond organ. Another secretary listens to Country. I admit that Asleep at the Wheel is one of my favorites, but the local radio station plays 500 songs which are essentially, "I've got tears in my ears from lying on my back while I cry in my bed over you."

And although I've backed up my 300GB of ripped (mostly classical) music on my work iMac, classical music do not mix with the above or with land title.

Let us not forget that this weekend we lost Billy Mays.

Now if we could only loose that gouch-eyed screaming Vince with ShamWow my life would have meaning.

Damn, I'm good!


Only I thought it was ten years (unless they've changed it), but this article says only five.

From the comments:

3011heath
Jul 5, 2009 6:11:38 PM

Report Offensive Post
If we don't get a stamp; we will boycott the post office. If we don't get a national day of mourning; we'll stay home from work. If I don't get more publicity; I will make up some other ridiculous excuse to call a press conference.

What say we give 3011heath Beet of the Week?

fishermanjim
Jul 7, 2009 6:14:31 AM
<br>Report Offensive Post
Like the Elvis stamp...fat Elvis or young Elvis, which Michael will the USPS use? Will it be white Michael or black Michael?

OTOH, I denounce fishermanjim for racist hate speech! The least he could do was dance around it like I did!

===========================

What say we give 3011heath Beet of the Week?

We agree! Excellent work 3011heath. Fish On!

The Commissarka & The Party™ thank you!