Reading through $.$. Halliburton's hit piece on Joe Biden disgusted me to the point that I feel I must respond to the charges leveled against Vice President Biden, the Democratic party, and caring people in general. I will not sit by a let our resident conservative here at the People's Cube denigrate good men, women, and gender-neutral peoples from seeking higher office for purposes not greater than themselves. It's time to set the record straight -- and not straight as in heterosexual straight, but straight as in correct. Wait, that doesn't sound politically correct enough. OK, I am setting the record correct, not straight, because to suggest I would be setting it "straight" would imply that there is something "incorrect" in it not being "straight" which, if I am correct, would imply there is something wrong with the record being gay. OK, let us just say I am setting the record gay in order to not add to the confusion of "records", "straight", and setting something straight which would be wrong. Better yet, let's just say the record is gay, it was always gay, and I am reminding everyone that the record is gay. There, no one is offended, right? Right!? OK, the record is now a single mother and correcting the record means the single mother gets pre-K for her child(ren) and free healthcare. There, no one can get offended with the record being a single mother.

First and foremost, we Democrats do not seek higher office to tell people what to do or how to live their lives. On the contrary, we Democrats seek higher office to tell people how to live their lives and what to do in order to live those lives to the fullest. We call this progress and progress is a good thing. Freedom is silly. Freedom is letting people do as they please and allowing them to do so without the consent of those who are their betters. Would you want to live in a world where your neighbor can do what he pleases without my consent? No, you wouldn't -- much like you wouldn't want your economic life determined by the "invisible hand" and whatever the "invisible hand" is doing to your life-partner at this very moment while you're not looking. We need order, we need government, and we need highly educated people making all the decisions. We call this governing and governing is a good thing.

Economics is a tricky business full of things and concepts which are tricky. I am tricked just thinking about the trickiness that is the tricky economy. If you let it through deregulation, free-markets, and the fondling "invisible hand", the economy will play tricks on you, swindle you out of your money, and take your possessions and give them to corporate jet-setting Wall Street fat-cats. Do you want to be fondled by an "invisible hand"? No, I didn't think so. What you want is the government there to tell that "invisible hand" to stop touching you. What you want is the cold, concrete hand of a safe and secure planned economy. With the planned economy you want a planned society where trans-fats are banned, salt intake is regulated, and competition is regularly demonized. This is civilization, friends -- civilization that is safe, planned, and managed by a select few who knows what is best for you and the tax-payers young and old co-habitating with you.

So who are these select few who knows what is best? Excellent question, and because I am in the mood, I will answer that excellent question. Vice President Joe Biden knows what is best for you. He know what is best because President Barack Obama told him what is best. President Obama is a really smart guy who graduated from Harvard Law School and that impresses people like me, the media, academics, and all the other people who matter in our planned society. Do you matter in our planned society? Yes and no, really. Yes, we need you to make a living so we can tax it; we need you to produce kids so we can tax them; and we need you to die so we can tax you again. We then take these taxes, pay ourselves, and then pay those *more deserving* who will ensure us a victory in the next free and bought election. This is planned society: no surprises, no messy "freedom", and no "invisible hands" having its way with you or your life-partner. Your time and money is more important to us than it would be to you since you are too stupid to know what is best for yourself and the planned society as a whole. This is called progress and progress is a good thing.

So what makes us better than you that gives us the right to govern over you? Well, for starters, we all went to school with each other as kids and we all waxed eloquent of making society a better place for all people. We did well in High School, our SATs, and were all active in our communities -- not that any of that mattered. What mattered is our ideology adherence that helped us rise through the "meritocracy" into the positions we currently find ourselves. Our professors, educators, and radical religious leaders all told us how special we were, how smart we are, and how we were the future leaders of America. We agreed, and once we graduated -- after kissing enough academic ass, that is -- we moved into politics, government, non-profits, and the media. We make big paychecks, have lots of serfs to step on, and we like what we do. We like telling you what to do because, well, we are entitled. We have the right credentials, the right background, and more importantly, we have the right ideology that helped us through the system. We're just better.

Now then, it pains me to see $.$. Halliburton knock Joe Biden for being a dummy. We know he is a dummy. We know he did not go to the right schools, have the right family, or says the brightest things. Hey, that's fine. It's fine because Joe believes in the things we believe in and speaks the words we speak. Sure, they come out funny, but that's the point -- Joe Biden is the caricature of the bitter-clinging rube that we so detest. Why do you think Obama put him on the ticket? Obama put Joe on the ticket because we thought the stupid bitter-clingers would identify with Joe, see that Democrats care about dumb white men, and would then vote for us in 2008. Hell, we even send Joe to all the white bread events like blue collar rallies or union get-togethers.

With that said, Joe Biden, to get to the point, is our token dumb white guy -- he is "the man from Scranton, PA" which is just Prog-speak for "all the dumb blue collar rednecks get behind Biden, because he is one of your own." We think all gun-toting bitter-clingers are dumb like Joe Biden and that is why he is our "national treasure" -- he's a vote-getter! He's just plain 'ole Joe from Scranton, PA. There is nothing "elite" about Joe and we like to remind folks of that. We like to remind folks that there are smart, progressive people like Obama, Hillary or Tim Geithner with the right credentials and the right background. And then, on the obverse, there are dumb white guys like Joe Biden -- salt of the Earth types, you see -- with the wrong credentials, the wrong background, who are people from places like Scranton, PA, who, in our opinion, should be kept away from power at all cost. You don't want a Joe Biden for a president -- he's a dummy. You want a Barack Obama, a Michelle Obama, or perhaps Bill again or one of the Kennedy kids. Yeah, they're the right kind of folks to run our country -- the kind of folks that David Brooks gets all hot and bothered over. They are credentialed, arrogant, and have kissed progressive ass long enough to rise to where they are at today. Hey, it takes a lot of progressive good works to get into Harvard Law -- even more to get into Yale Law like Bill and Hillary did. These are good people, the right people, and the people who should be telling you and I what to do.

I hope this makes better sense. I hope our vision of the future is better than the one $.$. is trying to con you into accepting. It's good to have someone there who went to Harvard Law School making certain that the "invisible hand" is not fondling you. It's good to know Hillary Clinton -- Yale Law School! -- is there ensuring the "reset button" has been hit and that smart power guides U.S. foreign policy. She went to Yale, kissed progressive ass all her life, and is therefore entitled to be entrusted with power. We are entitled. We outperformed in ass kissing and the SATs. This is our country, dammit! We earned it! They said it was ours! They said we could do whatever we wanted! YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM US, $. $.! YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM US, YOU HEAR ME! WE ARE SMARTER THAN YOU! RULING CLASSES NEED TO RULE, DAMMIT!

[color=red]Chairman M.S. Punchenko[/color] wrote:YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM US, $. $.! YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM US, YOU HEAR ME! WE ARE SMARTER THAN YOU! RULING CLASSES NEED TO RULE, DAMMIT!

Do you want to know why I'm taking it all away from you? A friend of mine bet me a McDonalds ice cream cone that I couldn't destroy the Democratic party. She's going to pay up.

Someone send for the Black Maria....$$ is at it again. He just loves to frazzle our beloved Chairman's sensitive last nerve....just watch him rant and rave on...Oh, that splendid passion....wasted, of course.....we all know that $$ is inscrutable...uh..well, definitely a HOPELESS cause. I say "Against the wall, you filthy capitalist! The only reason you still walk Mother Gaia's tortured earth is because of your other alter-egos." Perhaps a vacation is in order here? I hear the Siberian tundra is so lovely now, due to well...uh.. ClimateChange ™ ....Watch your insolence, $$! The Party is always watching! LOL BTW-Has anyone heard the rumors of the POTUS possibly replacing VP (drunken) Joe in 2012? This should be looked into, pronto!