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Pinch yourself, pack your favorite pantsuit and pick a friend, because you're off to NYC to join Hillary Clinton for an evening you'll never forget.

YOU AND A FRIEND WILL:

• Meet Hillary Clinton in NYC to share in one of her favorite pastimes—seeing a Broadway show
  
• Get to know Hillary over the drink of your choice (hers is chardonnay!)
  
• Be flown out and put up in a 4-star hotel

By donating or entering, you agree to be suckered into supporting Hillary's drinking habit, as well as into helping to dismantle America by a network of known shady operatives registered under new names.

Hillary isn't new to this:

Hillary: Comrades, can you spare some change?

Anyone who would sit next to Hillary for three tedious hours needs a competency hearing.

You mugs can still get my autographed picture for a measly 1,000 clam donation. Der's only three left and da organization got bills to pay ya know.


And don't pay no attention to the small print, i.e. that is:

By donating or entering, you agree to become a member of Onward Together.

That's just lawyer talk. I run a legit business enterprise here and nobodies got nothing on me anyway.

I'd rather stick my finger in an electric pencil sharpener have to think it over.

Sorry Comrades, she's already taken.